slightly disappointed :-/

[FutureMrsMRS]

Here''s the thing, I never had the fairy-tale wedding dream happening. I don''t like being the center of attention. I AM extremely close to my parents and close to my family in general. FI & I have large extended families, and I know regardless, there''s going to be hurt feelings no matter what -- I refuse to do a huge affair with hundred(s) of people - it isn''t what I want. Originally, I was just going to have my parents, siblings & their family, my kids, and 2 friends. Total of 20 people. FI (mom has passed and father is an a-hole, brother-long story). So he''s thinking grandmother, couple of cousins & aunt & uncle - 20 people max.

So, FI suggested sending the invites to eevryone, but assuming most won''t come (its semi-destination). I know at least 8 of my relatives who for sure, will make it.

So now, I''m looking at planning for 50-75, depending on who rsvp''s. And its getting (of course) more expensive.

Today, he said he knew I didn''t want a big thing but figured since I wanted to plan something (he wants destination-just the two of us-this summer) he figured we''d wait til next year.

But I don''t want to wait! I want to be married to him already! And I want the October 2nd date (significance of the date to us). I don''t know if I should go with the original guest list or if I should put it off until next year. Bleh

 

[nkarma]

Why do you have to wait until next year to be the two of you?

I say just go with what you originally want...a small wedding. As long as you aren''t excluding people that are in same groups like inviting one uncle and not the other, your friends will understand. Also, I say get married as soon as you like.

 

[RaiKai]

Do not assume most won''t come. Invite who you want there period. Do not invite 50 thinking 30 will decline!!! Even for a DW.

And I know this is not a common approach and it depends on family but in our case *family groupings* was not relevant to invites. We wanted a very small wedding (had 16 guests) and have large families...we wanted people who were close to us there only and quite frankly a lot of our family is not even if they are close by blood. There were step siblings invited and others not, cousins invited and not fathers and so on. We were not rude to anyone but we were firm about what we wanted.

Everyone - even those not invited - were very supportive of how we did it but of course this may not be your experience.

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

That''s what I''M saying! If we invite everyone we may end up with 100 people and I''ll be pissed. I''m no drama queen, but I think he is FAR more non-confrontational than I am.

I say we invite who we *want* there and send announcements out to everyone after the fact.

I did finally decide I will NOT wait until next year. And it helped after I talked to him again. He said he''s ready for us to be married. And we''re not putting off what WE want to give others what THEY want.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 4/8/2010 10:38:02 PM
Author: FutureMrsMRS
And we''re not putting off what WE want to give others what THEY want.

I''m glad to hear this! You seem so excited to get married