Sleeping through the night methods

[Shoopy]

Two questions for PS mommies:

1. When did LO start sleeping through the night (STTN)?
2. Did you follow a certain method, combo of methods, or let LO set his/her own schedule?

DD does not sleep well at all at night. As my work date approaches, I''m starting to get more and more nervous. I know we won''t be STTN for a while but I can''t even get a good 3 hour stretch out of her. So I''m looking for some ideas (and hope

)

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I wish I could offer you hope! My son is 13 months and still doesn''t sleep through the night

. He usually wakes at least once, sometimes twice. We use CIO and DH doesn''t go in there until he is really crying because he needs something - usually 4oz of milk. DS is also a mega morning person (as is DH) and is usually up for the day before 7am

I am sooo not a morning person! He''s gotten much better though as he''s gotten older; and especially now that he''s really getting going on table foods. I think the protein keeps him full longer so he''s not waking due to hunger.

One thing that has helped us is that we have a routine. We get home from work, play, dinner, bath, jammies, read, bottle, bed. He''s in bed by 8pm most nights. He has his bottle in his darkened room and that helps him get drowsy and fall asleep quickly.

Also, we have a white noise machine in his room. He really likes the "rain" noise so we usually have it set on that.

Hope this helps and good luck!

 

[D&T]

both my DDs slept through the night (from 730pm - 5am) at seven weeks (whew!) as I went back to work at that time. Right before I went to sleep around 10pm, I did the "dream feed" method, I would sneak in with a bottle and feed them while they slept but I would not wake them up to change their diapers or anything (they were usually not wet) but if they were I hurried and changed their diapers. I don't usually turn on the light on while I fed them. Usually both DDs would still be asleep but took their bottle. I don't try to burp them either (at first I did when they were a few months, then as they were older I would just slip them back in their cribs, and they are good to go, once in a while as they older they would wake up, but it was just to burp and would go back right to sleep).

 

[Dreamer_D]

I guess Hunter technicall sleeps through the night because he goes 6 hours between wakes, but I still nurse him 1x per night, he is 6 months. I think he needs it, he generally drains both sides at that time whereas in the day it is often only one side. i don''t do a dream feed because I find it makes no difference

So he is in bed usually around 8pm and then wakes between 1am and 3am, then most nights sleeps until around 7am. So 11 hours seems to be his night.

I think the best thing for helping night sleeping and sleeping in general is to get into a routine or pattern in the day and into the night. We used the EASY routine, where I would feed him when he woke and then he would be awake, then back to sleep -- repeat. I think it got his body into a rhythm, and it just kept going at night. When he was Sophia''s age he was on about a 2.5 hour cycle in the daytime and then at night he would sleep about 5 hours in a row, but still I had to feed him 2-3 times in the night hours from 7pm to 7am. Usually around 2am, around 5am, and sometimes another wakeup somewhere in there too.

Remind me how old your DD is?

 

[qtiekiki]

STTN is considered a development milestone, so I don''t know if there''s method to get the LO to STTN. Although having a routine might help. We were lucky as DD STTN (based on the definition of 5 hrs) since she was 3 weeks old. And the length of time got longer as she gets older. We didn''t have to do anything.

 

[puffy]

my little guy was STTN at 6 weeks (i say STTN as in no waking up, not the 5 hour stretch), so i may be the minority here. but by then, he was actually putting himself to sleep and soothing himself back to sleep as well. we did not CIO or anything except a basic routine where he would know it was time for bed. i got the ok from the pedi around 3-4 weeks to just nurse on command. so when he would wake up and fuss, i would go check on him to see if he was hungry and if he wasn''t i would just pat him a bit until he was calm, then he would drift back to sleep. the next time he would fuss, i would wait maybe 5 minutes and he would just go back to sleep on his own before i even went to check on him. i would check on him instantly if i knew he was in pain or he was hungry, but i knew the difference between his cries.

he''s pretty much been STTN since then, with a few exceptions from when he was sick or something.

i think a routine is important and to make sure she gets enough to eat during the day, keeping lights dim at night so she knows it''s not time to play and it''s wake up, eat and back to sleep, making sure she is not over tired, etc. does a paci help at all?

she''s still fairly young, if i remember correctly?

 

[TravelingGal]

When Amelia was young, I worked to establish day and night patterns. I was very routine during the day...probably something similar to the EASY routine that everyone here talks about except that I never read Baby Whisperer. I kept her fed every 3 hours and made sure I didn''t keep her up too long. I didn''t cart her around too much. When we got the go ahead to feed on demand at night, I let her go as long as I could starting at about 10 pm, then we started marching that time back. Play only during the day.

Establishing the difference between night and day was key for us, and we went from there. Nights got longer and days got shorter. I set the routine the best I could.

 

[softly softly]

Firey hang in there, it will get better! Both my kids were able to sleep for 12 hour stretches around the 10 week mark, but it wasn''t always consistent. I did use CIO for both of them - my eldest at around the 6 mth mark when he went through a sleep regression (we were back on track within a couple of nights) and my daughter to a lesser extent at around 4 mths when she was having trouble putting herself back to sleep when she grew out of her swaddle.

As others have said I think routine was key. I have always followed a routine of dinner (as much as a newborns feeding schedule will allow), bath and some cuddle time then bed, making sure they were put down in their cots while still awake so they fell asleep without being on the breast or bottle. Also I think an early bedtime is essential. As a baby my eldest was in bed by 6-6.30 which has gradually been pushed out to 7.30 as he has gotten older. My youngest has always gone down for the night at the same time as her brother, and one thing that really helped with her was letting her fuss a little bit (providing I was confident all her other need had been met) so that she learnt to self-sooth at an early age. Not all will agree with this, but it certainly worked with her and she has in general been a very good sleeper. Also, not sure if it is something you want to use, but a pacifier really did help both my kids to fall asleep when they were babies.

Good luck Firey. I''m sure a few months down the track she will be sleeping much better.

 

[neatfreak]

Well we've been blessed with very good sleepers-they've been STTN for a long time now.

What we do is while we don't have set feeding times during the day per se-we do have a rough schedule that we follow. The most important part of said schedule is naptimes. So they are up between 6:15-6:45 like clockwork. They then play/eat/whatever until 9ish which is when I look for tired signs. They then go down for a nap right away. They sleep for awhile, then get up and eat/play, then they are ready for a nap again at 1-2ish.

Then occasionally they have a quick nap again at 4-5 if their first few naps were short. Then they are down for the night at 7.

I guess we are opposite from many moms in term of bedtime "routine". We didn't want to make a big deal out of it or make a big build up to bedtime. So we just do jammies and bottle. That's it. And they go down smoothly 90% of the time. We do this for our own sanity and so that when they are older they don't throw a fit if for some reason we are putting them to bed late and don't read to them or do a bath, etc. I have babysat a few kids who threw sh*tfits when they didn't get to read a book or have a bath before bed so I wanted to try and avoid that if I could.

The biggest thing we've done is to watch them like HAWKS when we are close to naptime/bedtime. If we let them get overtired then their entire schedule is thrown off and they often will wake in the middle of the night. So we just make sure that we don't get to the overtired stage and we have hardly any meltdowns and they STTN.

So I would figure out a routine/schedule that works for your family, start it, and STICK WITH IT. Similar to TGal this means not going out during their naptime, coming home before bedtime, etc. It's a PITA but it really will help with their sleep IMO.


ETA: We also use CIO. But it was pretty easy for us because the crying part only usually lasts a few minutes. Then they either REALLY get worked up (at which point we will go in) or they fall back asleep. We don't let them cry/scream for hours-but we do give them a chance to figure out whether they are really upset or just settling before we go in.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/22/2009 11:00:13 AM
Author: neatfreak
Well we''ve been blessed with very good sleepers-they''ve been STTN for a long time now.

What we do is while we don''t have set feeding times during the day per se-we do have a rough schedule that we follow. The most important part of said schedule is naptimes. So they are up between 6:15-6:45 like clockwork. They then play/eat/whatever until 9ish which is when I look for tired signs. They then go down for a nap right away. They sleep for awhile, then get up and eat/play, then they are ready for a nap again at 1-2ish.

Then occasionally they have a quick nap again at 4-5 if their first few naps were short. Then they are down for the night at 7.

I guess we are opposite from many moms in term of bedtime ''routine''. We didn''t want to make a big deal out of it or make a big build up to bedtime. So we just do jammies and bottle. That''s it. And they go down smoothly 90% of the time. We do this for our own sanity and so that when they are older they don''t throw a fit if for some reason we are putting them to bed late and don''t read to them or do a bath, etc. I have babysat a few kids who threw sh*tfits when they didn''t get to read a book or have a bath before bed so I wanted to try and avoid that if I could.

The biggest thing we''ve done is to watch them like HAWKS when we are close to naptime/bedtime. If we let them get overtired then their entire schedule is thrown off and they often will wake in the middle of the night. So we just make sure that we don''t get to the overtired stage and we have hardly any meltdowns and they STTN.

So I would figure out a routine/schedule that works for your family, start it, and STICK WITH IT. Similar to TGal this means not going out during their naptime, coming home before bedtime, etc. It''s a PITA but it really will help with their sleep IMO.


ETA: We also use CIO. But it was pretty easy for us because the crying part only usually lasts a few minutes. Then they either REALLY get worked up (at which point we will go in) or they fall back asleep. We don''t let them cry/scream for hours-but we do give them a chance to figure out whether they are really upset or just settling before we go in.

I''ve always done a simple nightime routine of jammies and bottle too. Now that she''s older, she gets a little song while we cuddle but that''s it.

 

[softly softly]

Date: 8/22/2009 11:00:13 AM
Author: neatfreak
Well we''ve been blessed with very good sleepers-they''ve been STTN for a long time now.


What we do is while we don''t have set feeding times during the day per se-we do have a rough schedule that we follow. The most important part of said schedule is naptimes. So they are up between 6:15-6:45 like clockwork. They then play/eat/whatever until 9ish which is when I look for tired signs. They then go down for a nap right away. They sleep for awhile, then get up and eat/play, then they are ready for a nap again at 1-2ish.


Then occasionally they have a quick nap again at 4-5 if their first few naps were short. Then they are down for the night at 7.


I guess we are opposite from many moms in term of bedtime ''routine''. We didn''t want to make a big deal out of it or make a big build up to bedtime. So we just do jammies and bottle. That''s it. And they go down smoothly 90% of the time. We do this for our own sanity and so that when they are older they don''t throw a fit if for some reason we are putting them to bed late and don''t read to them or do a bath, etc. I have babysat a few kids who threw sh*tfits when they didn''t get to read a book or have a bath before bed so I wanted to try and avoid that if I could.


The biggest thing we''ve done is to watch them like HAWKS when we are close to naptime/bedtime. If we let them get overtired then their entire schedule is thrown off and they often will wake in the middle of the night. So we just make sure that we don''t get to the overtired stage and we have hardly any meltdowns and they STTN.


So I would figure out a routine/schedule that works for your family, start it, and STICK WITH IT. Similar to TGal this means not going out during their naptime, coming home before bedtime, etc. It''s a PITA but it really will help with their sleep IMO.



ETA: We also use CIO. But it was pretty easy for us because the crying part only usually lasts a few minutes. Then they either REALLY get worked up (at which point we will go in) or they fall back asleep. We don''t let them cry/scream for hours-but we do give them a chance to figure out whether they are really upset or just settling before we go in.

You are very wise Neat. I definitely made that mistake with my son. When he was about 18 mths I decided it was a good idea to have him pick up the toys in his room before he went to bed and it very quickly evolved to the point where he would want to pack up toys that didn''t need packing up.

One thing to keep in mind though, is that getting a baby to go to bed at a reasonable hour is a very different thing to getting a toddler. Toddler''s are often times irrational creatures who will do anything to avoid going to bed. There seems to be a stage around 3 where they start to become really resistive to bedtime and will employ all sorts of delaying tactics, including but not limited to asking for another story, asking for a drink of water, or just generally having a meltdown. Also toddlers (well mine at least) can be incredibly stubborn so CIO no longer works.

My daughter is currently going through this stage (as did my son) and I find myself doing all sorts of silly things to placate her, such as offering to piggyback her to bed, or letting her chase me through the house until she gets to her bedroom so she doesn''t kick up as much fuss because I find it much easy to get her to settle if she isn''t protesting when she lies down. Once she is in bed she knows she is expected to stay there and go to sleep.

 

[Shoopy]

Thank you ladies for your input. I noticed the importance of naps with her so as soon as she gets tired, I put her down. Unfortunately with her, it''s not so easy. She can be so tired but the minute she is put down, she''s up fussing/crying.

Last night was a little better. We went for a walk around 6PM and when we got back I gave her a lotion massage, put PJs on her, fed, and she fell asleep around 7. I did a dream feed at 10, had to soothe her back to sleep at 12:30, fed at 1:15, soothed again at 2:30, fed at 4, and again at 6. She never had a period of being awake. I think the key with her is to try and figure out if she needs to eat or just needs to be soothed before she starts crying. The problem though is that she spends the entire night grunting/fussing so I haven''t learned what to ignore and what to get up for

.

But she did laugh for the first time in her sleep last night. Sooo worth it.

 

[Jas12]

I did the EASY routine with Co and it worked well for us. I had to stay home every day for a few weeks until naps were scheduled and well established and once that was taken care of i focused on the night. The hard part for me was weaning from night feedings. I choose a gentle method of reducing the time at the breast by 2-3 minutes every couple of nights until Co was down from a 15 min to a 1 minute nursing session. At that point I was confident that the nursing was not for hunger and merely pacifying so my next step was to increase the time i allowed him to fuss when he awoke and just use soothing methods (i.e. patting him or rubbing his head while still in crib) to go back to sleep. Very luckily i didn''t have to go to that next step--Co started sleeping 12 hour stretches after the night weaning process and it stuck for good. He was 6 mos when he started going 12 hours straight. Now at 16 mos he gets a bath, jammies, a kiss and cuddle and i plop him in bed and he doesn''t wake till the next morning.
I think routine and consistency are the best approach to eventual STTN, but i do think it takes longer with exclusively BF babies. We started solids at around 5 mos and although ''the books'' say it doesn''t contribute to STTN i do think it helps on some level--even if it is just the peace of mind that you know your kid got lots of food during the day so you don''t worry that you are starving the poor child by trying to night wean.
good luck--it''ll happen

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 8/22/2009 6:09:52 PM
Author: softly softly

Date: 8/22/2009 11:00:13 AM

Author: neatfreak

Well we''ve been blessed with very good sleepers-they''ve been STTN for a long time now.



What we do is while we don''t have set feeding times during the day per se-we do have a rough schedule that we follow. The most important part of said schedule is naptimes. So they are up between 6:15-6:45 like clockwork. They then play/eat/whatever until 9ish which is when I look for tired signs. They then go down for a nap right away. They sleep for awhile, then get up and eat/play, then they are ready for a nap again at 1-2ish.



Then occasionally they have a quick nap again at 4-5 if their first few naps were short. Then they are down for the night at 7.



I guess we are opposite from many moms in term of bedtime ''routine''. We didn''t want to make a big deal out of it or make a big build up to bedtime. So we just do jammies and bottle. That''s it. And they go down smoothly 90% of the time. We do this for our own sanity and so that when they are older they don''t throw a fit if for some reason we are putting them to bed late and don''t read to them or do a bath, etc. I have babysat a few kids who threw sh*tfits when they didn''t get to read a book or have a bath before bed so I wanted to try and avoid that if I could.



The biggest thing we''ve done is to watch them like HAWKS when we are close to naptime/bedtime. If we let them get overtired then their entire schedule is thrown off and they often will wake in the middle of the night. So we just make sure that we don''t get to the overtired stage and we have hardly any meltdowns and they STTN.



So I would figure out a routine/schedule that works for your family, start it, and STICK WITH IT. Similar to TGal this means not going out during their naptime, coming home before bedtime, etc. It''s a PITA but it really will help with their sleep IMO.




ETA: We also use CIO. But it was pretty easy for us because the crying part only usually lasts a few minutes. Then they either REALLY get worked up (at which point we will go in) or they fall back asleep. We don''t let them cry/scream for hours-but we do give them a chance to figure out whether they are really upset or just settling before we go in.

You are very wise Neat. I definitely made that mistake with my son. When he was about 18 mths I decided it was a good idea to have him pick up the toys in his room before he went to bed and it very quickly evolved to the point where he would want to pack up toys that didn''t need packing up.


One thing to keep in mind though, is that getting a baby to go to bed at a reasonable hour is a very different thing to getting a toddler. Toddler''s are often times irrational creatures who will do anything to avoid going to bed. There seems to be a stage around 3 where they start to become really resistive to bedtime and will employ all sorts of delaying tactics, including but not limited to asking for another story, asking for a drink of water, or just generally having a meltdown. Also toddlers (well mine at least) can be incredibly stubborn so CIO no longer works.


My daughter is currently going through this stage (as did my son) and I find myself doing all sorts of silly things to placate her, such as offering to piggyback her to bed, or letting her chase me through the house until she gets to her bedroom so she doesn''t kick up as much fuss because I find it much easy to get her to settle if she isn''t protesting when she lies down. Once she is in bed she knows she is expected to stay there and go to sleep.

Hehe-I am under no illusion that this will always work. But I am hopeful that it will at least cut down on the drama for now!

 

[Jas12]

softly-- a friend is currently going thru the bedtime avoidance blues with her 2.5 year old. He was trying every tactic under the sun and was becoming a bit of a terror. So one night she read him a story (to which he replied ''one more'' ) and then said she had to go pee. Well, she took a long pee and while her guy was waiting, thinking she''d be back for the next story, he fell sleep. She felt like a mean mom but it worked for a a week or so and all of a sudden he was going down immediately after her ''pee break''?

. Fast fwd a month and he awoke from a cold in the middle of the night. She went in to soothe him but he was annoyed with her rubbing his back said to her in an exasperated voice "mom, go pee" . teehee. I am wondering what i''ll have to come up with when my guy hits that stage.

 

[lili]

softly--
ha, i can sympathesize w/ the toddlers employing any tactics to delay bedtime.
my 16 month old has been asking for more stories, milk, water, and eating her dinner just so she wouldn''t have to lay down on the bed

i hate to think what she''ll be like when she''s 3.

 

[Pandora II]

Daisy is 14 weeks and isn''t STTN yet, but I''m getting a lot of sleep so I''m feeling like she does. She wakes up once or twice during the night and then around between 7.30 - 9.00 am when she comes into bed with me.

I have found bed sharing while we were away was great as she just helps herself while I''m asleep so I barely wake-up at all! Now that I''m back home I''m going to try and stick to her sleeping in her bed...

I''m sure that b-fed babies STTN a lot later as breast milk is easier to digest and so goes through their tummies quicker.

On the bed-times, I do jammies and a cuddle and minimise any stimulation at all. She does seem to need to cry at the night-time bedtime - the less she has slept during the day the longer the crying session. I just sit and hold her till she stops and then pop her into her cot fast. 9/10 she''s off to sleep, but if she starts up again I just pick her up and repeat until she sleeps. CIO doesn''t work at all for us.

I think if you get her napping properly during the day you will see a huge difference at night - we definitely did.

 

[softly softly]

Date: 8/23/2009 3:53:17 PM
Author: lili
softly--

ha, i can sympathesize w/ the toddlers employing any tactics to delay bedtime.

my 16 month old has been asking for more stories, milk, water, and eating her dinner just so she wouldn''t have to lay down on the bed

i hate to think what she''ll be like when she''s 3.

lili your daughter is obviously very smart!!! Sometimes I do have to admire my daughter''s creativity - a couple of weeks ago she kept insisting she was a guinea pig and therefore didn''t have to go to bed because guinea pigs don''t sleep in bed.

 

[Burk]

I agree they go through stages and toddler are bound to regress. Our DD went through a phase a few weeks back (at 18 months) where she would put off going to sleep at ALL costs (more books, more milk, wanting to watch Elmo, more kisses, you name it she tried it) and then cry when we put her in bed. It was torture. Now, she''s back to her old self-tells us when she''s ready to go to bed and walks in her room and asks to get into her bed. Thank goodness.

She has always been a really good sleeper. Slept through the night (what I consider sleeping through the night-10hours plus) from 10 weeks on. I agree with night time routine. Don''t want to make it crazy, but I think a chance to wind down in necessary. We do bath, books, cuddle, bed most nights and started this probably at 6 weeks. She doesn''t freak out if we miss part of the routine, like some nights we skip the bath. It''s just a good way to get her to relax before going to bed.