Sleep Baby, Sleep

[Loves Vintage]

Now seems like a good time for a new sleep thread.

We totally coddled our first baby, held her to sleep every night, co slept, etc. Though she is turning out to be a totally awesome kid, mama needs some sleep so I was really determined not to do the same with baby boy, but I more or less am. I really really try to get him in his crib at night, but some nights he will sleep for one of his short sleeps with me (last night that was from 1-2), but for the most part, I am able to get him to sleep in his crib, but he always falls asleep first in my arms while breastfeeding. Everyone says to put him in the crib when drowsy, but it just doesn't work. He will kick in his little swaddle, make adorable noises and just not fall asleep. I've tried leaving the room, but that results in crying. In fact, even if he is asleep (like just fell asleep), if I leave the room, he will often wake anyway!! I sleep one foot away from the crib, so as long as I'm there, he will sleep. Naps in the crib are usually short. He naps much better in the swing and/or being held.

What would you do differently? And, do you keep to a specific nap schedule during the day? If yes, what is it?

And, I came across this recently -- so funny: http://www.emilywrites.co.nz/how-to-get-your-baby-to-sleep/

This thread is not intended to be just about me, so tell us about your baby and sleep too!

 

[brightlight]

We slept with our daughter in our bed in a co sleeper for the first two months. I read that you should have the baby sleeping how you want her to sleep (for us that meant in her own crib) by three months. After she turned two months, we started letting her nap in her crib and moved her there for nights too after a few nights. The crib was in our room but was positioned so that she couldn't see us. When we put her in her crib to sleep, we left the room. I placed her in there drowsy but awake. My husband always put her in there asleep. If she fell asleep before I placed her in her crib, I didn't try to not wake her when I put her in her crib since it would give her a chance to fall back asleep on her own. I also didn't try to purposely wake her up. I read mixed reviews about when to start letting your baby CIO, so I let her fuss for a little bit to give her a chance to fall asleep on her own and then would go back in to soothe her some more if she cried for a few minutes. We moved her into her own room recently, and it wasn't a big deal since we always left the room when we put her to sleep. I don't really think it's a big deal to put your baby in his crib drowsy but awake until he's four months old, but it's definitely better to start earlier. If you want to put him in his crib asleep, try waiting at least 10 -15 minutes after he's in a deep sleep. My daughter still always makes a little noise at the 10 minute mark when she enters deep sleep. If he wakes slightly when you put him down, it will probably be easier for him to fall back asleep even if he does fuss/cry for a little bit.

 

[amc80]

I'm lucky that Tucker is an awesome sleeper. He started STTN around 4 months. The problem, though, is he's getting increasingly hard to get to sleep. He will absolutely not fall asleep on his own. And when he falls asleep in my arms, half the time he wakes up as soon as I put him in his crib. It ends up being a 1-2 hour process of trying to get him to fall asleep. The only silver lining is that he rarely wakes up until 7am or so.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I am avidly watching this thread for advice! The only thing I'm going on so far is that I know I love white noise so I ordered the munchkin white noise machine and I plan on using it now while I sleep since baby can hear or should be able to hear soon. Then I'll continue using it when baby is in our room at first. Then when baby moves to their own room the sound machine will go with them and *hopefully* help with any transition. Any thoughts on trying this?

 

[brightlight]

AMC - My daughter was the same way. I think she was sleeping for 9+ hours at around 2 months, but she started REALLY fighting going to sleep at around 5.5 months. Once she fell asleep, she STTN. If she did wake up, she went back to sleep on her own without any fussing after we fed her. The only thing that worked for us was increasing her wake time before bedtime. We tried putting her to bed earlier, but that didn't work. She still fusses/cries a little, but she doesn't fight sleep like she used to. Also, bedtime was always the worst for us. My daughter just talked to herself for half an hour before falling asleep for her nap. No crying!

AHL - Enjoy the early days when your baby can sleep in your arms! I miss holding my baby while she sleeps. I think if you start moving your baby to her own room at the right time, the transition won't be that hard for him/her. The white noise should help though if your baby likes it. White noise didn't really help my baby fall asleep, but I think it wasn't the right kind of white noise.

 

[April20]

I have a bad feeling I'm going to need this thread. Eliza is 11 days old. She will sleep like a champ by herself in her napper (from the pack 'n play) or her swing all day. As soon as it's dark outside (aka bedtime), the kid won't sleep for more than 20-30 mins (and often less) unless she is physically touching me. I've given up trying to get her to sleep in her napper at night for the present to preserve my own sanity/sleep. I put her in my k'tan wrap, hammock style, and let her sleep on my chest. She will often end up on my side at some point during the night after nursing, though I don't sleep well when she's there as I'm hyper aware of keeping her safe. She loves it. Of course she loves it. I am not sure how to get her to sleep in her own space at night! We are putting her down swaddled and asleep.... Maybe 11 days is too young to be worried yet? I don't know.......

 

[Loves Vintage]

April - Probably too early to say! What's your milk supply like at night? How does Eliza do early in the morning? Like 1-5 timeframe. Will she sleep on her own then? I ask about your supply because we encountered a similar issue. Pedi told me that he sounded like he might be hungry still, because he was waking so often. Took some steps to increase my supply (I'm going to start a thread for this too!), and he started sleeping longer (though it still varies) at night. Also, he's always been a sleepy sort of nurser, so even when my supply is up, I don't think he eats to fullness and then is up again from hunger. Anyway, that's one possibility. Also, does she bf each time she wakes? Maybe she's cluster-feeding?

**********

He did fall asleep on his own last night, at the second attempt to get him to sleep. I had to leave the room. Lullabies were playing. So we will make that our new routine and hopefully work things out. He slept til 1:30 (from about 9). I put paci back in, then he slept til 2:30. The rest of the morning was not so good. We are working on it!

 

[Laila619]

Hi LV!!

Congrats on your baby boy! I think a lot of it boils down to baby's personality and luck. My boys were pretty fussy and difficult, and they both needed the Fisher Price Rock N Play sleeper (bad reflux issues). They would just not sleep alone in their cribs, no matter what we did. My girls were fairly easy and would go down swaddled in the crib pretty much from birth. Unfortunately it really seems there's no magic solution, except time. I've found that when they get to be about 5-6 months, they learn to self-soothe, and everything gets much easier. "Drowsy but awake" sounds great in theory, but it just doesn't work for some babies. My kids all had to be nursed to sleep, and they needed to be out cold. If they weren't really asleep, they would pop their tiny eyes open and wail the minute we tried to tiptoe away. Argh!! My twins are 10 months now, and they are finally great sleepers who will put themselves to sleep, but it took a LONG time to get there. DH and I were complete zombies the first 3-4 months. My advice is to hang in there, be patient, and maybe you and hubby can sleep in shifts until things get better, so you can each get a good chunk of uninterrupted sleep. All the best!

 

[April20]

She doesn't always want to nurse at night, though she is often waking to do so. I was wondering about cluster feeding too. I've noticed she nurses much more frequently in the evening leading up to when we go to bed (which these days is around 11-midnight). She will sleep long stretches during the day. I'm not really sure about my supply to be honest. This sounds totally naive, but I don't know how to judge that! Oh, and I've tried swaddling her in the middle of the night and putting her down after nursing and it's a no-go. She's up within 15-20 minutes on average. Basically, just about the time I fall back asleep, she's back up. It's too exhausting to maintain, hence the reason I'm not fighting it right now.

She woke up around 6 today and we changed her, nursed her and put her in her swing. I worked from 630-830ish and then laid down on the couch since she was dead asleep in her swing. The kid has radar because within 20 mins she was stirring. I got her, nursed her and then she slept on my chest on the couch for almost two hours. We were both out cold. It was good sleep, I just wish it was at 3am instead of 9am!

She isn't a BAD sleeper overnight, she's just up more, more fitful and HAS to be touching me at night.

 

[brightlight]

April20 - Have you tried putting her in a cosleeper between you and your husband? When my daughter started waking, one of us would put a hand on her chest and she would go back to sleep. Also, have you tried pumping to get an estimate of your supply? They say your baby gets more milk out than pumping, but at least you'll have an estimate.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Laila, my boys have both been the same way! My oldest was a terrible sleeper and baby brother is not much better at all, granted he is only 5 weeks. Our daughter is on a feeding tube, and needs to be swaddled and sleep propped up. We need to feed her every three hours, so there is a lot of activity in the nursery, which probably doesn't help baby boy at all. DH and I are trying to sleep in shifts, but I've been so anxious and stressed out that I now have bad insomnia. Sorry, didn't mean to go off, but it is comforting to know I'm not alone and things may eventually get better. Right now, I'm a zombie and feel like I can barely take care of myself let alone the kids.

 

[Laila619]

Oh MP, you are going through so much right now. Twins in the beginning are so, so hard. I know I can't completely relate, since we didn't have the feeding/heart issues. But I do kind of understand what you're going through. My boy twin had colic something fierce, it was awful. I had the "what have I done" feelings and wondering if/when it will ever get better. It WILL! 10 months in, I am finally starting to enjoy the twins and I actually shower daily and get a full night's sleep again, lol. There is a light at the end of the tunnel! My big kids actually like and enjoy playing with "their babies" too. Hang in there, mama! I have been thinking of you and your sweet baby girl N. I hope she will be able to take a bottle soon.

 

[April20]

April20 - Have you tried putting her in a cosleeper between you and your husband? When my daughter started waking, one of us would put a hand on her chest and she would go back to sleep. Also, have you tried pumping to get an estimate of your supply? They say your baby gets more milk out than pumping, but at least you'll have an estimate.

I haven't tried a co-sleeper because we have a queen sized bed and it's tight as it is. I might have to consider it if it keeps going the way it's going.

I have not tried pumping. The LC at the hospital recommended waiting until 4 weeks or so before I start. I haven't been terribly worried about supply since she has plenty of wet/poop diapers, but I may have to pump just to see and satisfy my curiosity!

 

[Loves Vintage]

April - If you haven't noticed any issues like baby being frustrated while feeding in the evenings (baby would be pulling off frequently) or failure to gain (your pediatrician will note this!), then I would assume your supply is just fine! Sorry for bringing it up. I was sort of asking if you knew already, and another way to check, would be to hand express a little milk. If you have milk after baby is done feeding, then you should be good to go. I got to the point where baby would finish feeding, I assumed he was full, and there really wasn't any milk left. More milk will always come, yes, but at that point in the evening, there wasn't any. He was also a very sleepy nurser early on, so I would assume he was full, but he would just fall asleep while feeding! Anyway, it sounds like that's not your issue (which hooray for you by the way!!) She is most likely cluster feeding then, so what happens btw say 1 and 4 -- does she sleep through because she is close to you?

Laila - Thanks so much for your thoughts! It helps to know it gets better and a transition to baby falling asleep on his own is possible. That never really happened with my daughter, and we were ok with it, but now we favor sleep, haha. How did you transition from nursing to sleep to falling asleep on their own? Yes, we will need to start splitting the evenings, esp'ly when I go back to work. I need to get to a point where I'm able to pump for an overnight feed. We were going to try last weekend, but I am too worried that if I don't feed or pump overnight, that I will lose supply. This low supply business really messes with my head!!

Be back later. Baby waking from nap now!!

 

[sunseeker101]

Hello ladies. Here is a site, http://www.babysleepsite.com/ that I was moved to use at various points with baby twins. There are free resources and the full sign-up is not cheap, but these guys saved my sanity more than once! Their staff are hands-on experts on any issue of any complexity you have going on with your little ones. The best of luck with your issues.

And Monkeyprincess I so feel for you, I wish you (and you all) a quick return to sleep and peace of mind.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I have to admit that I believe I have naturally good sleepers, but I'm also the type who can be rigid about sleep training when needed. I used the same plan with both of my girls and it went really well. This is what I did:

1. First month--we used a rock and play at night. We kept it in our bedroom for easy access with night feedings. While the first month feedings are on-demand, both of my girls pretty much had the same routine--they'd dream feed around 10pm, then feed again around 1am, and again at 4am, then sort of "up" at 7am. When I nursed, I would only turn on a 4-watt bulb, then I'd burp them and put them back in the RnP. Naps were in the pack and play downstairs and then in the crib upstairs as they got a little older.

2. 6 - 8 weeks. I had the girls start going to sleep when drowsy at 6 weeks. In fact, I had a "no holding the baby to sleep" policy in my house, which my in-laws hated. If either of the girls was getting drowsy, we'd put them in the crib. My older daughter had a paci, which she used to soothe herself to sleep, my younger daughter self-soothed by sucking on her fingers. At night I stretched time between feedings--with my older daughter, I'd give her a paci when she started sucking on her hands. My younger daughter I just let fuss a bit until she found her fingers, they would almost always fall back asleep after 5 - 10 minutes of fussing.

Around 7 - 8 weeks, I would also introduce the eat, play, sleep routine. At that age, I think the girls were only awake for 1.5 - 2 hours at a time. So they'd nap for about 1.5 hours, then they'd wake up, I'd feed them for 15 - 20 minutes, then they'd be awake and we'd read, do tummy time, etc. for the next hour or so, then it was back to sleep for another 1.5 hours. I'd try to time it so that their last "daytime" feed was around 5:30pm, then we'd play, do bathtime and story time, then I'd do a little "top off" feed around 7pm and put them down for the night.

3. 8 - 10 weeks. Both girls were STTN (7pm - 7am) by 8 - 10 weeks, so I moved them to their nurseries (in the crib). My older daughter had a bit of a tough time. We ended up having her sleep in her crib in our room for a week ,then the transition was fine. I tried a different tactic with my younger daughter--I put the rock and play in her room for a night and she was fine, so I transitioned her to the crib in her room the next night and she was fine. They were both used to their cribs/their rooms because they always napped there during the day.

4. 12+ weeks was more of a transition for daytime sleep. By 12 - 14 weeks, the eat, play, sleep routine started forming into a more solid 3-nap schedule. both of my girls basically had the same schedule--up @7am, first nap was 9 -10am, second nap was 12 - 2:30pm, third nap was 4:30 - 5:15pm and then they were down for the night at 7:15pm or so. They both moved to a 2-nap schedule around 7 months (started dropping the third nap). Awake time was stretching, so the naps moved to 10am - noon, then 2:30 - 4:30pm). Both girls moved to 1 nap around 1 year.

I always say the first year is really tough on sleep because of all the transitions. There are natural sleep regression periods (the 4 month regression is REAL), plus their diet is always changing--from milk, to purees, to solids. Plus there are the swaddle transitions. And teeth--the teeth will really interrupt sleep. Plus each milestone (sitting, crawling, standing, walking) causes a sleep issue as they usually practice those skills in the crib.

For us, having a very solid bedtime routine has been key. I'm annoyingly rigid about it, but it won't be forever. I'm also the type who only has her kids sleep in the crib. This was very, very difficult for a span of time, but again, it was temporary.

Bedtime is definitely a relaxing time in our house that the girls enjoy, and they both sleep like rocks. I've been really lucky, but I also definitely have a problem-solution mindset, so if one of my girls was ever up at night, I considered it a problem and approached it as needing to be "fixed"...I think I lack a coddling gene.