Sit-down or Buffet??

[MissCongeniality]

Just my $.02.
I personally do not like buffet style. (born and raised in SoCal, and have been to countless wedding receptions with buffets, so I dont think its necessarily a southern thing). Moreover, I was raised with people who had a disctint aversion to spitguards, (those pieces of glass over the food at buffet-style resturants). So, that probably is what influences me the most. Finally, I spent many years in the catering business, (being both server at seated dinners, and the chef) and can tell you that seated/plated receptions are, well, just plain classier.

And I dont know if its just me, but I always feel uncomfortable going through a line and putting food on my plate. It makes me so self conscious thinking that others are watching what I''m eating, how much food, etc. And then having to walk it back to the table, I find the whole thing embarassing, I guess.

But, that being said, I have been to some very nice buffets, and they can be just as nice as a seated dinner. I enjoy the food stations, where there are chefs preparing up things just for you - I LOVE those and have seen it done very nicely. Or there are pasta stations, fajita stations, etc. Those are great and it makes for a bit of variety in the menu. If I''m at a reception where there is a buffet, usually my date will go through the line and bring me my food.

Bottom line, I prefer to have a seated dinner, with the food already plated.

But the main reason I prefer seated dinners is this:
About ten years ago, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding. (lol the first of many) At the reception, (buffet style) the Master of Ceremonies told all of us that lunch was served. Immediately, the bride and groom got up and nearly RAN across the dance floor to the food tables. (both weighed 300+ lbs) They piled food real high on their plates, and hurried back to their seats and scarfed everything down!!

If you do have a buffet, just make sure your maid of honor and the best man get your food for you. The sight of seeing a bride in her gown, go thru a line, it was something that has stuck with me for years.

Hope this helps.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 12/28/2005 3:09:10 AM
Author: MissCongeniality
Just my $.02.

But the main reason I prefer seated dinners is this:
If you do have a buffet, just make sure your maid of honor and the best man get your food for you. The sight of seeing a bride in her gown, go thru a line, it was something that has stuck with me for years.

Hope this helps.

hum, very good point! i hadn''t thought of that.

i really dislike buffets too- for all the reasons you mentioned. but, having never been to a sit-down nor hearing about them around my area, i just didn''t want to seem to high & mighty to the guests because i have a seated dinner.

my other main concern- is that i don''t know how long a seated dinner takes. our reception will be 4 hours. if 1 hour is for cocktails, and 1 hour or so is for dinner & toasting, is there enough time for dancing and all?

 

[luckyhonu]

I''m having a buffett (I have several friends who are vegetarians) and there are varying tastes so this is easier. I will be having a seated dinner at the head table so that makes it easier for me and FI (not to mention we''ll be exhausted by that time.

 

[E B]

JCrow,

I don't know if I'm too late on this thread or not, but I'd vote buffet hands down. We're having a buffet-style dinner because this way, your guests can eat what they want to eat. Choosing from 2 options on a menu is usually boring and complicated for those with food allergies or restrictions (vegetarians, vegans) to change if needed (no meat, extra potatoes, please!). With a buffet, vegetarians can load up on veggies, meat lovers on meat without the "fluff", and you, the beautiful bride, can have someone bring you your plate.

Edit: I just wanted to add that I was recently at a wedding with a buffet-style dinner, and it couldn't have been more elegant. Tables were assigned, and when we were called, we brought our plates and were able to get whatever we liked. Recently, I attended my fiance's office party (seated dinner) and was extremely disappointed with the choices. I ended up choosing steak, ordered it well done, and because of all the confusion with people ordering this, or that, it came rare. Eew!

 

[gingerBcookie]

I like sit down dinners. I just don''t like being dressed up and going through a buffet line. It''s awkward for me I guess, with wearring my heels and a nice dress and balancing plates and wanting more but feeling silly going back up at what is supposed to be a nice, classy event. And I hate waiting in line period. My FI does not have a prob with that and likes the all you can eat aspect of the buffet

.

 

[jcrow]

ok, i got a ROUGH list of food items we'd get IF we went with a food station reception.

butler passed:
seafood pies
duck and tasso spring rolls
grilled portobello & chicken roulades served on baguettes

not passed:
chicken alfredo with penne pasta
shrimp etouffee
fruit & veggie & cheese tray
seafood stuffed mushrooms

carving station:
peppercorn encrusted grilled tenderloin served with grilled portabello mushrooms with condiments & rolls


question- is it neccessary to have a fruit & veggie tray or should i change that out to something else??

hum- bite sized catfish was on the list- but now it's not- and the carving station wasn't on my pre-list. guess i'll give them a call...

 

[E B]

I think all of that sounds delicious. The fruit and veggie tray sounds a little weird to me (It's dinner, right? I think it'd be more appropriate at breakfast, or lunch..can you imagine strawberries next to beef tenderloin?) but it all depends on what you'd be happiest with. Maybe, instead of the fruit and veggie tray, you could substitute another vegetarian option...fresh green salad loaded with tomatoes (and other fun things), or something like that.

 

[jcrow]

ok- cool. so it's not just just me that is weirded out by a fruit and veggie and cheese montage display...

ETA: the ceremony is at 1:30 and should last 30-35 minutes, followed by 20 of taking photos and 15 minutes to drive to the place (meanwhile guests will be enjoying cocktail hour with butler passed nibbles. so it would be 2:45-3 PM for food.

 

[jcrow]

after i typed it and looking am looking at it-- it looks like way too little food! hum....

 

[MissCongeniality]

I think four hours is plenty of time. One hour for the cocktails, etc.
Guests will take the hint quite easily when they realize they need to be seated for their lunch/dinner. I think usually a salad/dinner/cake serving option can go in an hour. Usually every 20 minutes.

You will have time for dancing, yes. And an appropriate toast.

I do, like the food stations. I vote for that way more thant I would a buffet. Food stations are neat and accomadate a variety of tastes.

Besides, its never been a problem for me when I am at a seated reception with respect to the vegetarian choices. Usually what happens is when you RSVP, you''re asked what meal you would prefer at the reception. (chicken/meat, salmon or some type of fish, or total vegetarian). And the vegetarian plates are duely noted and brought out to the appropriate people at the reception.

 

[MissCongeniality]

I think all of those choices sound great. I dont have a problem with the veggie/cheese choices. You never know what people might eat.

 

[ame]

I have been to both ends and I personally went with Sit-Down. Generally it''s not any more expensive but it makes the occasion classier and more evening. If that is the feel you are going for, having a line where people serve themselves doesn''t really give that impression.

I was able to give my "hungier" guests 2-3 servings, that includes my little brother who I believe had 5 plates before cake. We still had so many servings uneaten.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 12/28/2005 9:00:37 PM
Author: ame
I was able to give my ''hungier'' guests 2-3 servings, that includes my little brother who I believe had 5 plates before cake. We still had so many servings uneaten.

hum- so how does that work- extra servings? i hadn''t thought about guests wanting more... if we are serving 100 guests, should we plan for 150?

does the same go with tables? should there be 2 or so tables for extra guests?

 

[flopkins]

I''m doing it buffet style... it was out of our budget to do sit down bc the servers would be more expensive. I have actually only been to sit downs, and was hesitant to do buffet (like others said, less classy, etc... ) but I think a lot of the issues with it are not going to be a problem for us... We are doing a served first course (plated salad) so ppl aren''t antsy about getting to the buffet line, esp since we are having a cocktail hr too... we (Bride and groom) will be served the entire meal... so we won''t have to go thru the line.

Plus, I really thought it wouldn''t be as nice, then I started noticing a lot of the big Hollywood stars had buffet/stations at their events/weddings... and they looked awesome!! Don''t know if that really matters, but hey...

Anyhow, I like the idea of having more choices for the guests, and they get to try both entrees... the food you''ve listed sounds great.

 

[jcrow]

like i mentioned in my other thread, FI and his SIL went out to eat last night at the reception venue. we started talking about the reception and SIL had a great idea.

she mentioned that we could do open bar for the cocktail hour. then for dinner (if we have a seated one) we could place bottles of wine/champagne on the tables, and change the bar to a cash bar.

what do yall think of this option?

 

[Tybee]

I think it''s fine to start with coctails, and then move to wine.
I really like idea of wine bottles at the dinner table, but
I don''t think that I ever like the idea of a cash bar.

 

[lilyinct]

We had passed and stationed appetizers (Crab cakes, pumpkin ravioli''s, spring rolls, etc) at our Lobster Bake wedding (avoid fruit and vegetable platter, no one eats it), with an open bar... for dinner, we then had served Clams Casino, Clam Chowder in a demi cup, and Stuffed Clams. Had a neverending supply of red and white wine on each table, and though the bar was still open, everyone basically switched to wine for the rest of the night (minus the few beer drinkers). We then had a buffet of lobsters, filet, grilled vegetables, etc.... and when it came time for dessert, we vetoed a cake and had instead our favorite dessert, Flying Saucers from Carvel which were passed around. Each table was also served a family style plate of cannoli''s, cookies, brownies, etc.

Wouldn''t change a thing about it! Loved how we kind of did a little of everything.... good luck!

 

[JCJD]

I would pare down the menu a bit if I were you actually. If you give people too many choices, they''ll take a little bit of everything, go back for their favorites, and end up wasting a lot of food, aka, your money!

Maybe just take out 1 or 2 items and have more quantity of fewer choices. That way, if everybody really likes the spring rolls or something, there will be some left for everyone, instead of enough for a third of your guests. I think the variety is pretty good, but there''s not much vegetarian food from a vegetarian bride Unless you count fish as fitting into your vegetarian diet (not all of us do). We had 100 guests, 8 hors d''oeuvre choices, 3 dessert choices, and wedding cake.

Your caterer will (or should!) know how people will eat at that kind of reception at that time of day, so they should be able to help you figure out the number to plan for.

We just had an open wine bar at our reception, no beer or hard liquor. We also had soda pop and sparkling grape juice for nondrinkers and coffee.

I disagree that nobody eats the fruit and veggie platters - I do! It just depends on what else you''re serving with it. If you''ve got a pate, caviar, and foie gras crowd, nobody will touch the platter, but if you''re serving cold cuts and tortilla rollups, then they will.

I like lilyinct''s idea of grilled vegetables! Yummy!

 

[jcrow]

JCJD- pare down the food list if it''s food stations? if we have a sit-down - we will definitely pare down- to a salad and an entree.
there weren''t many (if any true) veggie options. most veggies attending the wedding do eat seafood- so i think we may be safe. i am thinking of changing the chicken pasta to a crawfish or shrimp one. so that way there would be 2 main seafood options and one meat option.

hum- an open wine only bar. interesting.

 

[JCJD]

Yeah, now that I look at your list again, you have 8 choices like we did, so never mind on paring down the choices. But I would hesitate to add more to the list. Ours was sort of a food station/buffet. I attached a pic below of the food spread, I don''t know how to describe it I guess.

Our wine bar served a red, a dry white, and a sweet white. The red was by far the most popular! Australian, Stonehaven 2001 Shiraz Cabernet Sauvignon blend. I am NOT a red wine drinker, but it is fabulous!

 

[jcrow]

just wanted to add updates:

we talked with the reception venue people today. they are putting together a proposal to compare the price of a sit down dinner versus food stations.

we requested a salad, bread, a grilled redfish with roasted garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus.

she will also be adjusting the non-seated meal proposal. we are changing the chicken alfredo to crawfish fett. and adding bite-sized fried catfish stripes. we are changing the bar to well liquor instead of premium and we''ve requested no ordering of shots. we''ve heard horrible instances of the bar tab escalating because they were shooting rounds of various liquors. though i don''t think it would happen at our wedding- we don''t want to chance it.

if we have a buffet- they have one set up on each side of the tent- as well as a bar on each side- which i thought was nice...

 

[ellewoods]

Hi J Crow.

It sounds like your caterer at the reception venue is helpful in giving you many options and preparing 2 menus so you can see the difference in price. I think that will help a lot for what you ultimately decide in terms of sit down or buffet style.

As far as alcohol goes, my personal opinion is that cash bars are not optimal. I think they make guests feel awkward and they''re tacky. I apologize to anyone who disagrees with me but that''s my opinion. I think you should either have an open bar (you can limit the types of alcohol to cut down on price, such as using rail liqours instead of the fancy stuff), or simply provide beer and wine only. You can also provide an open bar but limit the choices of alcohol and mixers -- example: have a certain amount of set mixers, and set choice of liqours, like vodka, gin, rum, jack only, etc.

Most of the weddings I''ve been to have been completely open bar, paid for by the hosts (bride, groom, their parents, whomever was financially responsible for things). I know that''s probably not the norm everywhere, but in my area it seems to be. No guests took advantage of the open bar by doing tons of shots, or ordering more than 1 drink at a time. While I don''t expect an open bar at weddings, I think that if you can afford one you should have one, your guests will really appreciate it and there will be less problems than you think (if any).

Here''s my experience with weddings that were not open bar.

1) Open bar at cocktail hours before dinner, cash bar during/after dinner (red or white wine provided)
At one wedding there was an open bar for about 2 hours before dinner (while guests were waiting for the bride and groom and bridal party to arrive) . But when we all sat for dinner, the open bar had closed and it was a cash-bar only. There were 1-2 wine bottles placed at each table for guests to drink. It was a little uncomfortable for guests who walked up to the bar to be told that it was cash only -- many guests hadn''t brought enough money to cover drinks for the rest of the night (they were pretty expensive for a wedding, around $7-$8 for cocktails). Also, the venue was not near an ATM machine so guests could not leave to go get cash. Credit cards were not accepted (I''ve never seen credit cards accepted at a cash bar for a wedding). Also, many people were not wine drinkers. It would have been nice to at least have complimentary beers as an option.

2) Beer, wine, soda provided only
At another wedding, there was 1 bar and they served red wine, white wine, beers, soda, and sparkling water only. I thought that was a very good way of handling the cost issue with having an open bar -- so the guests were given complimentary drinks but by limiting the alcohol to just beer and wine, the bride and groom didn''t have to go bankrupt. One thing I did think was strange though -- they had margaritas available for 1 hour before dinner (not frozen, just pre-mixed in a pitcher at the bar). This wasn''t really advertised to guests, but once someone heard about it they kind of spread the word to the younger guests and bride and groom''s close friends, who then rushed to the bar to get as many margaritas as they could. That was tacky.

That being said, I am a big fan of the idea of having 1 signature drink at your reception, plus beer and wine and sodas if a open bar is not financially possible. But if you are going to offer 1 signature drink (like a rum punch, or tropical cocktail, etc) then I think it should be available all night, or not at all.

3) Open bar at cocktail hours before dinner, bar closed during dinner (red or white wine provided), open bar for another 1 hours after dinner. The last wedding I went to had a open bar cocktail reception for about 1.5-2 hours before dinner. Once we sat for dinner, only beer and wine were available. People who went to the bar were told it was closed. Once dinner was over and people began dancing, the bar opened again for another hour. I think it was a nice way to control the costs of an open bar but also being generous to the guests.

Just my 2 cents!

 

[monarch64]

I agree with Elle: boo to the cash bar! We saved money by having an open bar during our whole reception and not having wine/champagne on tables. We didn''t do a champagne toast, we toasted with whatever was in front of everyone. My husband and I personally think it''s rude to expect guests to pay for their drinks at weddings, it leaves guests feeling awkward.

 

[jcrow]

ok- well, we got our quotes back from the reception venue for the sit-down versus buffet. it''s about $1400 more for the seated dinner than the buffet/food-stations....

 

[E B]

Date: 1/5/2006 2:16:17 PM
Author: jcrow
ok- well, we got our quotes back from the reception venue for the sit-down versus buffet. it's about $1400 more for the seated dinner than the buffet/food-stations....

All the more reason to strongly consider a buffet!

If your reception staff performs the food station service correctly (and elegantly), it won't be the tacky nightmare you're thinking of. Moving through a food line is *not* a big deal and this actually allows people not only mingle with others, but choose what they'd like to eat. Plus, if you have a salad served before people are called, no one will be "waiting in line". I didn't have to. I got a plate and went down the line in no time, because it was our table's turn, not a free-for-all. I doubt they'd call everyone at once, which would cause any "waiting in line". You can request that they call table by table, while others sip on wine, eat salad and talk.

You can make whatever you'd like elegant, if the correct services are performed and attention to detail is met. Good luck with your decision, and keep us posted on your dress!

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Date: 12/28/2005 4:17:10 PM
Author: jcrow
ok, i got a ROUGH list of food items we''d get IF we went with a food station reception.

butler passed:
seafood pies
duck and tasso spring rolls
grilled portobello & chicken roulades served on baguettes

not passed:
chicken alfredo with penne pasta
shrimp etouffee
fruit & veggie & cheese tray
seafood stuffed mushrooms

carving station:
peppercorn encrusted grilled tenderloin served with grilled portabello mushrooms with condiments & rolls


question- is it neccessary to have a fruit & veggie tray or should i change that out to something else??

hum- bite sized catfish was on the list- but now it''s not- and the carving station wasn''t on my pre-list. guess i''ll give them a call...

Once again, totally late in replying... The rule of thumb for a buffet style reception where I used to work was: 1 or 2 meats, 1 or 2 starches, 1 or 2 vegetables, and 1 bread. This was the best way to have a well-rounded meal for the least cost (having a lot of meats would drive the price way up). So I suggest keeping the fruit and veggies and maybe adding a rice pilaf or something? Everything else sounds ok. Hope that helps.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Date: 1/5/2006 2:16:17 PM
Author: jcrow
ok- well, we got our quotes back from the reception venue for the sit-down versus buffet. it''s about $1400 more for the seated dinner than the buffet/food-stations....

I just talked about this in your other thread. I didn''t see this one until afterwards. I''m glad you looked into it more and I''m sorry for being redundant.

 

[VuittonGal]

I''ve been to both. I''m having a sit down because it''s just more elegant and formal in my opinion. I just don''t like the thought of going through a line to put food on my plate.

 

[appletini]

Go for the buffet, plus if you only have 100-150 guests the lines won''t be long. We are having a buffet, bur our rehearsal dinner will be a sit down. The staff will have our buffet plates already on the table for us when we come in. And have someone make an announcement for the parents and wedding party to go first. Also I feel like sit-downs for receptions can drag on, and then you have to worry about seating arrangements.

My FIs parents offered to pay for the open bar, so maybe yours will want to do that, one less thing for you to worry about it.

 

[jcrow]

Date: 2/15/2006 4:04:21 PM
Author: appletini
Go for the buffet, plus if you only have 100-150 guests the lines won''t be long. We are having a buffet, bur our rehearsal dinner will be a sit down. The staff will have our buffet plates already on the table for us when we come in. And have someone make an announcement for the parents and wedding party to go first. Also I feel like sit-downs for receptions can drag on, and then you have to worry about seating arrangements.

My FIs parents offered to pay for the open bar, so maybe yours will want to do that, one less thing for you to worry about it.

we have also decided on a buffetish style dinner. there will be two food stations,one on either side of the tent. Two should cut down on the lines.

we are also having a sit down for the rehearsal dinner.

FI actually wondered if his parent''s would want to pay for the bar too. we have it set now that we will pay and be notified once a certain amount has been reached, then we will decide whether it will then become a cash bar, or if we''ll continue to pay. at this point FI''s side may want to pick up the tab.