LiW Sisters are the best!

[KCCutie]

I''ve been feeling lately like I was wrong and my SO really isn''t planning anything and feeling kinda guilty about drooling over gorgeous rings here on PS.

Then I talked to my sister last night for 2 hours! I love my sister she really is the best but this was by far my favorite conversation I''ve had with her in quite a while.

I fessed up about drooling over e-rings and reading and posting here with all you other LIW and she giggled and said that was too funny she said last weekend she wanted to ask E a question but thought I would be mad. I told her I wouldn''t be mad she can do whatever she wants I mean I trust her judgment. She said she is going to ask E then next time she has a chance when he plans on marrying me and that he better get a move on b/c she wants him to be her brother (we have 2 brothers already but E is much more fun than they are) and seriously I almost cried. I mean that is so cute! She''s not a kid she''s 23 and I''m 30 but she gets along with E so well.

She went on to say that she had a feeling he knows he wants to marry me and that he will but she said he needs to get a move on because she wants me to have at least 6 months to plan the wedding and then 2-3 years of married fun before we have kids. She doesn''t really want kids for herself but she knows I do and she''s read that if you have 2 kids before 40 it decreases your risk of breast cancer (which runs rampant in our family). Okay maybe I''m hormonal but I may cry again I mean come one that''s so sweet.

I''m so glad I told her about my LIW craziness b/c now I know I have an ally. I have no doubt she''ll make subtle and not so subtle hints and I know that E will take them well coming from her so I won''t feel like I have to bombard him, and if nothing else maybe she can drag a time-line out of him.

Anyone else have a great story about a sister or BFF that really helped you get through this?

 

[Sha]

That''s great! Your sister sounds really supportive. I always wished I had a sister growing up... I have two brothers, so I had to play all the girly games by myself.

Re: the risk of breast cancer - the risk drops if you have your first child before the age of 30, not 40.

 

[Bridesmaid]

Yes! I have two sisters, and they are AMAZING!

One is married and always willing to put things in perspective for me, and the other is 14 and just fun. My boyfriend, M, thought she would hate him when I told her we''ll probably move a lot. (M wants to work at a zoo with large cats. Don''t get me started.) But I talked to her, and she looked really sad for a few minutes, and I felt horrible, like I''d kicked a puppy, but then she was really supportive and said she''d be fine as long as she got to see us at least twice a year.

And even though M told me to start planning (he probably won''t propose until late summer at the earliest and doesn''t want planning to be stressful so he said to plan everything but not finalize) I felt ridiculous looking at wedding gowns online. The married sister made me feel completely okay about it and shopped with me and was brutally honest about what would look good and what wouldn''t. She''s really amazing.

M has a sister and two brothers. I''m so excited about getting to have THREE sisters!

Sisters really are great for putting things in perspective for you. I''m glad you have that. We''re really lucky.

 

[KCCutie]

Yep I know I''m so glad I have a great sis although she''s 7 years younger than me so I had to play the girlie games alone till about the age of 10 too. My best friend doesn''t have any sisters so she''s more like an older sister to me which is great and my SO has a wonderful sister that I''ll be more than happy to add to my list of great sisters one day.

Sha- Oh you could be right about those numbers...guess I missed that one but it''s nice to know she''s trying to look out for me even if her numbers were off a little.

Bridesmaid - That''s so cute about your little sister demanding you can at least see her twice a year. My little sister will probably get a job somewhere aways from home and she asked me to make a list of any place where I wouldn''t come visit her so she can avoid them. LOL I think maybe Antarctica....but beyond that not much could keep me from visiting my sis.

 

[sunnyd]

That''s so cute KC! My BF has 3 sisters - 1 is older and married, 1 is younger and is away in college, and the youngest is 17. I''m not close to my sister at all, so when his youngest sister called me last weekend to go shopping with her I almost cried! We''ve tried on rings together, talked about future tattoo timing and placements that wouldn''t interfere with wedding arrangements... hahaha. I love them all and am probably going to make them all BMs.

 

[sandia_rose]

I don't have any sisters, but my best friend and I call each other "sister" and mean it. I have two brothers, she has (

) five. And, she is 11 years older than I am, so she's The Big Sister I didn't have growing up. She's been my BFF for 14 years now.

My BFF has been very helpful as far as putting my head on straight when I get angsty with my BF. Most of you have read about all of the drama in my posts. While a lot of people here (me included) think that 2 years is enough time for a man - especially one who is 46 - to make up his mind about marriage, my BFF pointed out that 2 years isn't any time at all. And it's no time at all particularly when we're talking about a man who's been forced to be both father and mother to two kids due to an unfit ex-wife, and who just buried his mother after a drawn-out cancer battle, and who was married to the unfit ex-wife and took her verbal abuse and misbehavior for 20 years. Basically, he's already got a full plate. It's slowly getting resolved....but we're not there yet. I created some drama and discomfort in my relationship that didn't need to be there due to insisting on a timeline and a plan. She pointed out that, unless I was in a hurry to have another child (which I am not...I am 39 and am done in that department), then there really is no huge hurry for me to get married right away. She also said to me, "If you really were not The One for him, do you think he would have stayed in this relationship as long as he has? He's a good looking, nice man who could get another girlfriend if he wanted one. But he's chosen you to be with. And you need to let the man resolve his issues and quit pressuring him." If you all remember, he'd said to me, "I'm not feeling it." My BFF's take on that was harsh, but she was right. She said, "If I was a guy, dealing with all the stress he's been dealing with lately and I had my girlfriend adding onto it by pressuring me, I probably would have said the same thing. It's real hard to be lovey dovey when someone is handing you another thing to think about/answer for when you've already got too much." And as hard as it is for me to swallow, she was right.

She seems to think that my current BF and I will be married within two years and that this waiting period is good for me. She has said many times that I tend to rush things I want (true) and that my being made to wait and deal is a cosmic lesson I should have had a long time ago.

I was able to go on my trip to New Orleans with him and have a fun time. Now, if I had talked to my BFF about my angst BEFORE I laid it on him, I might not have so much to rebuild over right now. My relationship feels shaky now -- and I made it that way.

My BFF saves me from myself and has done so for 14 years. She listened to me and helped me figure out what to do when I learned that I was unexpectedly pregnant at 32. I was not going to go through with it (I was single at the time and unsure of my then-BF) -- until she told me that a) things happen for reasons and b) that she wished she could have children and wished she was in my shoes (she has female issues and can never have kids) and c) that I could be carrying the doctor that will cure AIDS or the leader that will create world peace....but I will never know unless he or she is born. And thanks to her, I have a gorgeous, intellegent, fun 8 year old son that I otherwise wouldn't have had. She has told me point blank when men I was dating were not good enough for me or when she thought they were dangerous. It took me 10 years of night school to finish my BFA, and she also encouraged me to keep going when it got tough. I often tell her that I want to be her when I grow up (or if I grow up).

Bridget in Connecticut.

 

[KCCutie]

Okay I just had to post this b/c it''s too cute.

So my sister just came back from a trip with our 2 brothers who are very boring and the polar opposites to my SO. So she was feeling even more like she needed a new brother, and I''ve been a little crazy with LIWitis lately. I told her the subject of engagement would most likely come up at his families Easter dinner and it did as you can see in my other recent thread.

Right after E and I finished with "the talk" he got a text message from my sister that said:

"E, your one of my favorites. Do you think some day you''ll be my
coolest brother. Not that that would be hard. I hope so..."

Isn''t that cute!?! He just smiled and said my sister is nuts, but I know he thought it was cute.

Today she e-mailed this to me: To tell you the truth I figured his
response would be "where did that come from" and I would have to say
"Both a long trip with my real brothers and the fact I don''t know that
I''ve seen my sister so happy "

Now that is just priceless!