shower for destination wedding

[cbs102]

ok so i have been engaged for 7 months, we finally picked a destination and a date for our Jamaican wedding and i was approached this past weekend asking about a shower. i told them that i thought that it was inappropriate being that we are basically eloping (my mom, sister and bestfriend will be joining us). what are your opinions on this?? would you have a shower if you were not having a traditional wedding? and have any of you done that honeymoon registry?

 

[CrookedRock]

I have basically the same situation as you. Engaged for 8 months, and finally just set a date for our destination wedding in Nov. I''m not doing any of the shower stuff, but we will throw a party to celebrate after. It''s more of just a personal thing, not really bc we aren''t traditional. I''m not a fan of showers in general...
I''m not sure about the honeymoon thing, bc ours won''t be until 2010. I hadn''t even thought about it, but I think it''s going to be a present from FI''s parents, so we probably won''t.
You have to do what you want. Are you into the shower idea?

 

[cbs102]

In a way i think that it would be fun but i feel very awkward that there will be no wedding. as of now we are planning to have a new england clam bake the summer following the wedding .. i also do not need china (i am inheriting my grandmothers pattern that i LOVE as well as her crystal).

i guess i just wanted to know if it would be proper.

 

[geckodani]

Both my church and my DH''s threw us a shower - despite my protests, LOL. I felt the same way, that it wasn''t appropriate since the people giving us gifts would not be at the wedding.

But the little old ladies of the church were going to throw me one whether I wanted one or not, so I figured the least I could do was show up.

 

[panda08]

I''m also in the same position. We''re having a small DW and might have a dinner party when we return. I have a girlfriend who said that she''d love to throw me a shower. I haven''t decided but I''ll probably pass because it feels sort of weird.

I wasn''t even thinking about registering, much less do a honeymoon registry.

If you want a shower to celebrate your upcoming nuptials, you can always throw one and say no gifts; or just invite close friends who''ll wanna give you something no matter what.

 

[pocahontas]

Cbs, I''m also having a DW. FI and I have invited about 50 people. I wasn''t crazy about a bridal shower either as I don''t enjoy being the centre of attention, but my mom and sister really wanted to host one in my honour. I conceded ''cause I knew it was important for them (my mom especially) to do something special for me. She''s not getting the opportunity to really plan a wedding so it wasn''t a big deal for me to agree to her hosting a shower in my honour since I knew this would make her really happy. However, we''re keeping the guest list to the closest female guests that are being invited to the DW and a handful of her best friends. I had initially not wanted her friends invited ''cause I thought it was inappropriate, but they poo-pooed the etiquette rules and expressed a desire to be present for me and my mom. I put my foot down though at inviting extended family members and anyone else not invited to the actual wedding ''cause I didn''t think it was appropriate to do so although they will be invited to a post-wedding party.

 

[Morgie44]

I think that unless people are invited to the wedding, they shouldn''t be invited to a shower, so if you are eloping, you can''t really have a shower. Who approached you about the shower? If it was one of those invited to the wedding, maybe they could instead host a small celebration afterwards in place of the shower, that way, people won''t feel obligated to buy you a gift under the guise of a shower, but you could have a small registry set up, if people wanted to give you a gift they would have something available to do so.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 1/21/2009 1:51:58 PM
Author: Morgie44
I think that unless people are invited to the wedding, they shouldn''t be invited to a shower, so if you are eloping, you can''t really have a shower. Who approached you about the shower? If it was one of those invited to the wedding, maybe they could instead host a small celebration afterwards in place of the shower, that way, people won''t feel obligated to buy you a gift under the guise of a shower, but you could have a small registry set up, if people wanted to give you a gift they would have something available to do so.

i was approached by friends AND family who are not coming with us.

 

[katamari]

I am getting heavy pressure from mom and FMIL about it. FI and I honestly thought that since we are going away, no one would even consider getting us gifts. But, every time I run into family, they are asking where we are registered (uh, nowhere!). I have said that the only way I will agree to a shower is if there are no presents or donations to charity in lieu of gifts. But, the three of us (me, moms, and FMIL) are going to lunch and dress shopping this weekend, so I am going to try to get out of doing it completely.

 

[vintagelover229]

Okay...so my sister in law did the cutest thing because everyone in my shower would be all over the place! I know you have a DW but still, if your going to do something at some point and invite these people to it, you need to do this!

Okay here is what she did...it''s called a bridal shower basket! Totally cute idea and I LOVED IT!

She sent out a bridal shower invatation that said something like...this is a shower basket for so and so, due to the distance etc etc (I cant get exact wording if needed for you ladies).

Long story short, she enclosed a personalized reciepe card (with my name saying...a reciepe for stephanie) and they printed their favorite on the card. They inclosed that into a bridal shower card for me, and if they wanted to, could contribute to a gift card (they sent cash and my MOH took it to a store of my choice) and got a gift card for me there. I ended up with tons of cute reciepes personalized with my name on it and a cute little box they go in. Tons of cute cards from everyone, a basket with odds and ends (she got the wedding cake candle, heart wine stopper, a bottle of wine, bridal shower thank you cards and stamps, etc and put it all in the basket) and put the gift card all in a basket and presented it to me!

It was great! I LOVED IT! I didn''t think I could have a shower. Everyone that did it thought it was a cute idea too!

If your intested in more info, I can email my SIL and ask her!

 

[cbs102]

RED, that is an adorable idea!!! i wil pass that on! thank you!