Should Women Over 40 Cut Off Their Hair?

[iluvshinythings]

I'm almost 50 and my hair is slightly past my shoulders. I don't plan to cut it until I'm ready to cut it. I like it this length and so does DH. The last time I cut my hair, every time I looked in the mirror, it looked just like my brother was staring back. Looking like my brother is not sexy for me!!!!

 

[missy]

I have a neighbor aged 55 to 60 I'd guess.
Not all gray hair is the same color and her long hair is solid bright shocking white.
It is frizzy and dry.
She looks like she's being electrocuted.
She really looks like the worst Before picture you've ever seen in a hair product ad, or like one of those cheap Halloween witch wigs.

I think it looks awful, but I fight my reaction to it.
Shouldn't I just accept everyone gets to look however they want?
It's tough.

Kenny, why is it tough for you? Yes you should just accept she is happy this way and it doesn't change the person she is i.e. nice, kind, generous, loving helpful, good neighbor (just as examples as I don't know her obviously). I am not getting how it affects you in any way. I have learned a long time ago not to judge a book by its cover and I have many friends whom I love and cherish that might not fit the textbook "beautiful" whatever that is. Who cares? What makes a person truly beautiful has nothing to do with their superficial appearance.

 

[kenny]

I have a neighbor aged 55 to 60 I'd guess.
Not all gray hair is the same color and her long hair is solid bright shocking white.
It is frizzy and dry.
She looks like she's being electrocuted.
She really looks like the worst Before picture you've ever seen in a hair product ad, or like one of those cheap Halloween witch wigs.

I think it looks awful, but I fight my reaction to it.
Shouldn't I just accept everyone gets to look however they want?
It's tough.

Kenny, why is it tough for you? Yes you should just accept she is happy this way and it doesn't change the person she is i.e. nice, kind, generous, loving helpful, good neighbor (just as examples as I don't know her obviously). I am not getting how it affects you in any way. I have learned a long time ago not to judge a book by its cover and I have many friends whom I love and cherish that might not fit the textbook "beautiful" whatever that is. Who cares? What makes a person truly beautiful has nothing to do with their superficial appearance.

I'm not telling her to change.
I do 'accept' her.
She's a nice person.
I like her.
We are friends.

She just looks practically.
Just saying.



IMO it looks horrible on men too.



But sure. To each their own.
I'm allowed to see and like and dislike things about people.
I wouldn't deny them employment, etc.

 

[missy]

Haha even porcupines need love! Live and let live, love and let love and accept people for who they are and not what they look like. Heck even we curly haired people need love and acceptance too yanno?
IMO the world would be so much better off if we only judged a person by the content of their character. Heck here's who said it best. MLK Jr.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

[kenny]

I didn't say she's a bad person because her hair looks like a giant dandelion seed puff.



But sure, people vary.
Some look like walking dandelion seed puffs.

 

[cflutist]

I have a neighbor aged 55 to 60 I'd guess.
Not all gray hair is the same color and her long hair is solid bright shocking white.
It is frizzy and dry.
She looks like she's being electrocuted.
She really looks like the worst Before picture you've ever seen in a hair product ad, or like one of those cheap Halloween witch wigs.

I think it looks awful, but I fight my reaction to it.
Shouldn't I just accept everyone gets to look however they want?
It's tough.

Kenny, why is it tough for you? Yes you should just accept she is happy this way and it doesn't change the person she is i.e. nice, kind, generous, loving helpful, good neighbor (just as examples as I don't know her obviously). I am not getting how it affects you in any way. I have learned a long time ago not to judge a book by its cover and I have many friends whom I love and cherish that might not fit the textbook "beautiful" whatever that is. Who cares? What makes a person truly beautiful has nothing to do with their superficial appearance.

Missy, you said it perfectly. Who cares what I person looks like, it is what is inside that counts.
I am sure I probably offended some people when I went to Trader Joes with 52 staples in my head (after brain surgery), or when I looked like a "punk rocker" as my hair was growing back from being shaved on part of my head. On the other hand, there was another female brain surgery patient that was wearing a turban around the hospital floor, well that was her choice too.

Embrace diversity in all forms.

 

[kenny]

I have a neighbor aged 55 to 60 I'd guess.
Not all gray hair is the same color and her long hair is solid bright shocking white.
It is frizzy and dry.
She looks like she's being electrocuted.
She really looks like the worst Before picture you've ever seen in a hair product ad, or like one of those cheap Halloween witch wigs.

I think it looks awful, but I fight my reaction to it.
Shouldn't I just accept everyone gets to look however they want?
It's tough.

Kenny, why is it tough for you? Yes you should just accept she is happy this way and it doesn't change the person she is i.e. nice, kind, generous, loving helpful, good neighbor (just as examples as I don't know her obviously). I am not getting how it affects you in any way. I have learned a long time ago not to judge a book by its cover and I have many friends whom I love and cherish that might not fit the textbook "beautiful" whatever that is. Who cares? What makes a person truly beautiful has nothing to do with their superficial appearance.

Missy, you said it perfectly. Who cares what I person looks like, it is what is inside that counts.
I am sure I probably offended some people when I went to Trader Joes with 52 staples in my head (after brain surgery), or when I looked like a "punk rocker" as my hair was growing back from being shaved on part of my head. On the other hand, there was another female brain surgery patient that was wearing a turban around the hospital floor, well that was her choice too.

Embrace diversity in all forms.

So that means you equally 'like' everything about everyone ... including strong underarm body odor?

ETA: But I would draw a distinction between appearance and BO.
How someone looks does not enter your nose.
But ...

 

[december-fire]

Whoa!

Kenny, diamonds and dandelion seed puffs I can handle.

But I could have used a warning before that last photo!

Lovely, each to their own, probably very symbolic and all that stuff, but gosh I wasn't expecting anything like that.

I replied earlier but left unsaid that I think you're just trying to stir things up.

I don't think your friend's hair style really bothers you.

Perhaps I'm wrong.

Perhaps I suspected that was your motive because I might, on occasion, be known to ignite a wee bit of a fire just for fun and laughs.

 

[kenny]

Whoa!

Kenny, diamonds and dandelion seed puffs I can handle.

But I could have used a warning before that last photo!

Lovely, each to their own, probably very symbolic and all that stuff, but gosh I wasn't expecting anything like that.

I replied earlier but left unsaid that I think you're just trying to stir things up.

I don't think your friend's hair style really bothers you.

Perhaps I'm wrong.

Perhaps I suspected that was your motive because I might, on occasion, be known to ignite a wee bit of a fire just for fun and laughs.

Her hair doesn't 'bother' me.
I'd just call it unattractive, and unnecessary since 99.999999% of the population wouldn' t be caught dead with dandelion-head.

Apparently being authentic/honest/expressing internal conflict is not allowed here on PC-land, aka PS.

I only see dandelion-hair for maybe 15 minutes a year.
She's a nice person.

Oh, and fun and laughs are fun.

 

[VRBeauty]

I have a neighbor aged 55 to 60 I'd guess.
Not all gray hair is the same color and her long hair is solid bright shocking white.
It is frizzy and dry.
She looks like she's being electrocuted.
She really looks like the worst Before picture you've ever seen in a hair product ad, or like one of those cheap Halloween witch wigs.

I think it looks awful, but I fight my reaction to it.
Shouldn't I just accept everyone gets to look however they want?
It's tough.

And she's probably fighting the urge to tell you how much younger you'd look if you'd just color your hair!

(ETA Sorry - I don't seem to be able to add a wonky face emotie with my cell phone.)

 

[kenny]

I have a neighbor aged 55 to 60 I'd guess.
Not all gray hair is the same color and her long hair is solid bright shocking white.
It is frizzy and dry.
She looks like she's being electrocuted.
She really looks like the worst Before picture you've ever seen in a hair product ad, or like one of those cheap Halloween witch wigs.

I think it looks awful, but I fight my reaction to it.
Shouldn't I just accept everyone gets to look however they want?
It's tough.

And she's probably fighting the urge to tell you how much younger you'd look if you'd just color your hair!

No problem.
She's right.

... but why in the world would I want to lie to the world by looking younger than I am?
I'm not exactly trying to attract a mate of optimum breeding age so we can make the healthiest babies possible.
Same question about botox, liposuction, cosmetic surgery, make up, etc.

What's natural is fine.
Dandelion-head is natural and she's fine.
Her hair looks like crap, just as I look like crap.
Looking like crap is fine ... just another human variation.

 

[missy]

Ha, my dad always jokes I should tell people I am much older than I actually am so they will say hey you look awesome.
Thanks Dad. I think 50 is just perfect. In fact whatever age I am is exactly the age I want to be.

I have a neighbor aged 55 to 60 I'd guess.
Not all gray hair is the same color and her long hair is solid bright shocking white.
It is frizzy and dry.
She looks like she's being electrocuted.
She really looks like the worst Before picture you've ever seen in a hair product ad, or like one of those cheap Halloween witch wigs.

I think it looks awful, but I fight my reaction to it.
Shouldn't I just accept everyone gets to look however they want?
It's tough.

And she's probably fighting the urge to tell you how much younger you'd look if you'd just color your hair!

No problem.
She's right.

... but why in the world would I want to lie to the world by looking younger than I am?
Same question about botox, liposuction, cosmetic surgery, make up, etc.

 

[december-fire]

Her hair doesn't 'bother' me.
I'd just call it unattractive, and unnecessary since 99.999999% of the population wouldn' t be caught dead with dandelion-head.

Apparently being authentic/honest/expressing internal conflict is not allowed here on PC-land, aka PS.

I only see her for maybe 10 minutes a year.
She's a nice person.

Oh, and fun and laughs are fun.

Please accept my apology, Kenny.

Based on your posts that I've read, you seem to be quite accepting of others' differences. So I thought you were just bored and stirring the pot. Again, something that I've done in the past (and plan on continuing to do in the future ).

But, yes, sometimes I too have seen someone and wondered about their hairstyle.

In fact, I've looked at photos of myself and wondered about my hairstyle!

 

[kenny]

Her hair doesn't 'bother' me.
I'd just call it unattractive, and unnecessary since 99.999999% of the population wouldn' t be caught dead with dandelion-head.

Apparently being authentic/honest/expressing internal conflict is not allowed here on PC-land, aka PS.

I only see her for maybe 10 minutes a year.
She's a nice person.

Oh, and fun and laughs are fun.

Please accept my apology, Kenny.

Based on your posts that I've read, you seem to be quite accepting of others' differences. So I thought you were just bored and stirring the pot. Again, something that I've done in the past (and plan on continuing to do in the future ).

But, yes, sometimes I too have seen someone and wondered about their hairstyle.

In fact, I've looked at photos of myself and wondered about my hairstyle!

Thanks, but no apology needed.

... and yes I AM a pot-stirrer, a proud one at that!!!!
I wouldn't want PS to burn.

 

[kenny]

... whatever age I am is exactly the age I want to be.

Wise!

 

[mochiko42]

According to my Korean friends, in Korea women are supposed to chop off their hair and get an "ajumma" (married lady/housewife) perm after they get married. (You do see it a bit here in Hong Kong, too, especially after women have kids.)

 

[rainwood]

There is only one rule that applies here:

Women who are over 40 get to do whatever they #$&! well please.

 

[missy]

There is only one rule that applies here:

Women who are over 40 get to do whatever they #$&! well please.

Cheers to that.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Look at this woman! She's f*%#!ing flawless!

 

[LLJsmom]

Never heard of such a rule. And now that I did, I will ignore it because it's stupid. done.

 

[SparklySoprano]

I have heard inklings of this "rule" in the past, but I do think it's a thought from the past. And like LLJsmom, a stupid one at that. I think whatever women like and looks good and healthy (like the woman in Elliot86's picture) is the way to go. I'm over 40 and am growing my hair. It's past my shoulders and my hairdresser said keep growing it. I like flexibility in putting it up if I want, which does give it a very clean look. You only live once!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Just wanted to add my mom who is in her 70's has lovely long hair that she has never colored. It is salt and pepper with mostly gray and some very dark brown and she mainly wears it back but it looks elegant nonetheless. Rock it ladies!

Honestly that short hair "rule" is passé and has been for a long time.

I also want to add that I find my long hair relatively easy to care for. I just wash, condition and go. I usually air dry unless it is freezing outside and I don't have a few hours for it to dry naturally before I have to go out. Then I do a quick hair dryer with diffuser for a couple of minutes and leave with it less wet. I don't find long hair challenging to care for at all compared to short hair which has to be cut more often to look neat IMO. I get my hair cut maybe 3 times a year. My main issue is it getting in the way of things so I wear it with the sides back most days to keep it out of my way.


Naty, thank you! And back at ya.

I keep my hair long for the same reason. For me, long hair is soooooo easy. When my hair was shorter I had to blow dry and style it several times a week for it to look good. I really love that my "getting ready" routine can be as short as 20-30 minutes, if I want. There is something very liberating about not having to spend a lot of time primping and styling just to leave the house!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Only if they want to.

 

[iLander]

WHY?

Why do women PERSIST in making rules, measurements, judgements and opinions about their own looks?

Do they ENJOY feeling inadequate?

Do they feel "safe" when they follow dumb rule #12,456? Of course, not! There are still 12,455 rules left to go!

We've all seen the giant, hairy, fat guy, walking down the beach in a speedo, acting like he's hot. Why does a woman, who's gained 5 pounds, feel like she can't even leave the house? Why are men so much better at self-acceptance?

So, no. I'm waaaay past 40, and I have no urge to cut my hair.

Rant over . . .

 

[kenny]

WHY?
We've all seen the giant, hairy, fat guy, walking down the beach in a speedo, acting like he's hot.
Why does a woman, who's gained 5 pounds, feel like she can't even leave the house?

Why are men so much better at self-acceptance?

Because we're WONDERful!

 

[KaeKae]

I have a very good friend who started talking this nonsense when we were 30, which apparently was the "magic" number for cutting hair in her world. I just ignored her and still do, nearly 20 years later. In fact, it eventually came out that she felt that SHE looks better with shorter hair, so she felt all women look better with shorter hair. Uh-huh. Right. Thanks, no thanks.

 

[Andelain]

WHY?
We've all seen the giant, hairy, fat guy, walking down the beach in a speedo, acting like he's hot.
Why does a woman, who's gained 5 pounds, feel like she can't even leave the house?

Why are men so much better at self-acceptance?

Because we're WONDERful!

I got to hurl!

 

[kenny]

WHY?
We've all seen the giant, hairy, fat guy, walking down the beach in a speedo, acting like he's hot.
Why does a woman, who's gained 5 pounds, feel like she can't even leave the house?

Why are men so much better at self-acceptance?

Because we're WONDERful!

I got to hurl!

See, you should have also put Kenny on ignore.

 

[Andelain]

WHY?
We've all seen the giant, hairy, fat guy, walking down the beach in a speedo, acting like he's hot.
Why does a woman, who's gained 5 pounds, feel like she can't even leave the house?

Why are men so much better at self-acceptance?

Because we're WONDERful!

I got to hurl!

See, you should have also put Kenny on ignore.

I used to have you there!

 

[kenny]