Should old former SO pics be destroyed?

[slg47]

also I think it depends on how old/significant the relationship was. Cutting 1/2 of your prom picture out just seems silly IMO

 

[JewelFreak]

I don't see why they should be destroyed -- as long as they aren't lovey-dovey pics. Remember, your kids & grandchildren will see them eventually. If I had a lot, I'd keep just one or 2 as part of me & my life. Of course they'd be stored somewhere, not out on a table, that's kind of bizarre. In a box of old family photos we found a former girlfriend of my father's -- as kids we loved teasing him about it. I have some old prom pics from high school -- they're pretty hilarious; gawd, the hair!!! And a few of another guy who was lots of fun -- but they aren't compromising in any way. Actually I keep them to remember how slim I was then!

Cleaning out once, I found some love letters from 2 old boyfriends -- I did throw those away. A little reluctantly, both were big loves, but didn't want DH to find them if I kicked the bucket first, figured that was tacky.

--- Laurie

 

[Deelight]

No I don't believe they should be destroyed your past is your past and it represents a time in your life - also your past is a part of what makes you you in your present.

an ex is an ex for a reason

 

[iLander]

I got rid of all of my ex's pix.

But then again, I seriously considered setting fire to his clothes too.

I can laugh about it now, but out of all my ex boyfriends there was that one that REALLY made me mad. Cheater, obviously.

The rest of them were just too boring to even consider keeping pix of.

 

[mayerling]

I destroyed pics that had only SO or SO and me, but not pics of SO (possibly me) and other people. I guess I thought that by keeping his pics or pics of him and me, it would be unfair on future relationships. However, I was kind of pushed into destroying them by another ex so I'm not sure if I would have done it if left up to me. I do sometimes think that I erased a part of my past as the relationship lasted 5 years (high school and college)...

 

[kenny]

Okay so we compromised.
It wasn't easy, but I destroyed all the pics of my favorite Ex, Cutie-Pie.




(This single post was a joke, not the thread.)

 

[ksinger]

OK...the nightmares may commence. (Hoping desperately that this image fades quickly)

 

[lliang_chi]

Personally, I answered yes, I got rid of mine. To me, maybe i'm just not sentimental, but I'm like, "Why keep them? I'm NOT with them anymore, and throwing the pictures away is not erasing the past."

Kenny, I'm sorry your photos are causing some strain, albeit a minor one. Does your SO recognize his insecurity? Is he willing to work on it? If he is willing to work on it, maybe you can compromise? He works on his jealousy issues (plus for you) and you move your pictures out of the house/to the basement (plus for him). The way I see it, he cannot like how he feels with these jealousy issues, so getting help for himself is a win-win for both of you. I dunno that's just a suggestion, take it as you feel fit.

 

[katamari]

I don't think you should have to get rid of them. If you had them on display or got them out to look at them frequently, that would be odd, but just having them should not be an issue. I kind of agree that folding to this request is enabling your SO's jealously issue.

When we relocated, I allowed myself one large tupperware of mementos from high school and undergrad. Some of what I moved included pictures of exes and trinkets tied to memories (like my Sr. prom favor, for instance). I don't interact with this stuff much and may never again (in fact, I never looked at them once in the last 7 years between relocations), but I can understand not being interested in giving something similar up.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I have kept them but they are packed away in a box. It would be inappropriate for them to be on display. I have been with my DH for a looong time so there aren't that many exes and they weren't that serious. Maybe it would be different if one was an ex-DH or something.

 

[joflier]

I've kept all my old pictures. I could understand a partner wanting certain photos gone if there was nudity or something sexual about them. Or if there were about 3000 different pics. But just average every day photos....those are memories and history. That should be ok.

 

[HollyS]

I can't think of a good reason why.

Why bother?

 

[Yimmers]

To be honest...I'm not sure where all of the old photos are - probably on a hard drive if not in photo form. I'd probably toss the "together" pictures, but ones in groups I may keep. But I still voted "yes." To an extent, I don't necessarily see the need to keep them unless there is some other item or significant meaning to the photo. Therefore, if you find some other value to the photo other than seeing a face of the ex, you should keep it. But if it bothers him, then hide it somewhere out of sight and where he's not likely to come across them.

Here's a funny story - A year after ex and I broke up, when we were still sharing custody of our old dog, I went to pick up the dog from ex's parent's house. Ex's mother still had tons of pictures of me up in the house. I commented to my ex (who was dating someone else), doesn't that make your new gf feel uncomfortable? Poor girl, felt kinda bad since I had nothing against her...but it still cracks me up!

Yea yea, flame away, I'm going to hell, yadda yadda...

 

[Gothgrrl]

I hope you and SO can come to some kind of compromise. They are your pictures and it should be up to you if you want to keep them or not. Good luck