should I do a std?

[lala2332]

We are having a small wedding on friday. Only family and the people that would make up the wedding party. Should we send them STDs? Seems silly to send them to family and our closest friends that we have already spoken to.

We are then having a bigger party on saturday night for @150 people. Do we send STDs for that, even though its just a party, not a wedding?

If we do STDs for both groups I''m thinking I''ll have to have two seperate ones. One inviting the wedding people to both events and a 2nd just for the party guests.

YOu don''t send STDs for an engagement party or anything so I''m not sure of the etiquette about whether to do it for the party only guests.

 

[mayachel]

I don''t think stds are mandatory in any sense of the word. They seem to be more a modern convention, with families and friends being spread around the country or world. They are useful, when many of the guests are traveling from a distance to attend. In your situation I would imagine word of mouth would be plenty for the ceremony, as it is a small group. As for the reception...I don''t see why you couldn''t send an std if you desire, but I think that the invite itself, if sent two or three months in advance, would suffice.

 

[Lulie]

First, Congrats on your wedding!
It is not Silly, is steadfast rule of etiquette hon, even if you already invited them,
think about it, many have kids activities, work late, other parties, etc, they would appreciate a reminder, I know I would w/all of my kids stuff, you bet.

A party, [any] engagement, wedding, b-day, etc they are ALL celebrations that take 'lots' of time and $ organizing, they require a present and prob a new dress, EACH one needs to be STD imho.

 

[tlh]

My take on save the dates is in propper ettiquete for out of town guests who may have to make travel arrangements. If your family and close friends have to make travel plans, then maybe you could make a few handmade ones. I received very cute save the dates made from scrapbooking parts, and found it quite cute knowing my friend made it. So the rule of thumb, is if any of your WEDDING guests will be travelling, a save the date is a nice reminder for them.

Do NOT send save the dates for the party... it may confuse your guests and they may expect an invitation to your wedding.

 

[Lulie]

Oh magnificent point tlh, I thought she had verbally invited all alredy YES:
DO NOT send save the dates to someone unless you are DEFINITELY inviting them to the wedding otherwise big slap on the face LOL.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

A save-the-date is a nice thing, and it can add to the excitement of your wedding, but it is by no means required by etiquette. If you want to send one, then send it. They are really cute, and people like putting them on the fridge. If you''d rather save the money, spend it on something else, or feel that it is superfluous (like me!), then don''t send it.


When I was deciding whether or not to send it, I asked myself why I would send it. My reason for sending it was so that my picture and pretty card would be on everyone''s fridge. I decided that was kid of frivolous since I could put the money to something else and "save a little piece of the environment", so I opted not to send save-the-dates. I did include our wedding date in hand-written thank you notes from Christmas presents, and of course all my friends already know the date, so I''m not going to worry about other people who might already have plans when they get the invitation. My fiance needs to let his out-of-town Navy buddies know ahead of time, but if my mother''s aunt is busy when she gets the invite two months before the reception, then oh well.

 

[teapot]

I don't think you need to send stds. We decided not to do them and saved some money. If you have OOT that you want there, call them. Most of my guest were in town so we called the people who would have to travel to attend and called it a day.

 

[lala2332]

Thanks everyone. I talked to my mom today. We both don''t think they are needed. We are sending beautiful hand painted invitations to the wedding guests, so I think that will be enough.

PLus the people who will be at our wedding are just close immediate family and the friends will be the ones that would be in the wedding party. I may send an email or something with hotels suggestions for the out of town guests that will be invited after invitations go out to everyone, wedding and party guests, or just post it on the wedding website.

and Lulie...Emily Post says that they are not necessary, so please don''t be condescending..its NOT a "steadfast rule of etiquette"

 

[musey]

If you want to! You don''t have to, though. We mostly did save-the-dates because we happened to find a design we especially liked, and wanted to save one for later