Should I be honest?

[autumngems]

Ok, I am a jewelry/diamond nut and have been for years and all my co-workers know this. Co-worker asked me several months ago about buying a diamond for his girlfriend. So basically I told him all about the C''s and some places he could start to look for a good deal. Apparently he didn''t listen. He just came into my office to show me the ring he bought yesterday from the base exchange (big mistake). As soon as I looked at it I could see a white inclusion and looking around the culet it looked like frozen spit. He smiles and says the appraisal says guaranteed to be $5500. I know he could have gotten a much better deal than that and a much better diamond. I didn''t want to say it''s crap so I told him I could see a white mark and that he should have a jeweler look at it to make sure it''s not a crack within the diamond (looks like one). He is taking it to get it sized tonight and said he would ask the jeweler. I hate it when people ask and then don''t listen to what you tell them.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 11/8/2007 1:48:52 PM
Author:autumngems
Ok, I am a jewelry/diamond nut and have been for years and all my co-workers know this. Co-worker asked me several months ago about buying a diamond for his girlfriend. So basically I told him all about the C''s and some places he could start to look for a good deal. Apparently he didn''t listen. He just came into my office to show me the ring he bought yesterday from the base exchange (big mistake). As soon as I looked at it I could see a white inclusion and looking around the culet it looked like frozen spit. He smiles and says the appraisal says guaranteed to be $5500. I know he could have gotten a much better deal than that and a much better diamond. I didn''t want to say it''s crap so I told him I could see a white mark and that he should have a jeweler look at it to make sure it''s not a crack within the diamond (looks like one). He is taking it to get it sized tonight and said he would ask the jeweler. I hate it when people ask and then don''t listen to what you tell them.

You know, that''s funny. ( not as in ha ha) I hate it because I''ve learned so much and NO one will ask me for help. But then I read stories like this, and think, maybe I''m better off....


Well, you tried, that''s all you can do.

 

[tberube]

I hate it when people ask and then don''t listen to what you tell them.

That''s my pet peeve. Reminds me of the guy friend who complained to me for six months about how mean his girlfriend is and asked my advice on whether he should concede to her demands for a proposal. I told him I didn''t think he should marry a girl like her but to at least think about it for a little longer. One month later he invited me to his "proposal dinner" for her. I was so disgusted I lied and told him I had plans that night. Ick.

I know that has nothing to do with your story (hehe) but yours reminded me of it and I had to share. In other words, I agree.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Maybe your co-worker felt overwhelmed by all the info re: the four c''s. There''s so much to know, and here on PS we all become a little too over obsessed that any average person could easily become intimidated.

Hopefully he can learn the details and take your advice the second time around. Maybe he''d benefit from having a few basic tips written down on paper.

 

[:)]

It was nice of you to at least be able to try to steer him back a little by being able to point out that you were concerned you could see a ''spot'' or possible crack you were worried about. Hopefully the jeweler he goes to will mention the frozen spit, or maybe your friend can at least see other true sparklies when waiting around for the sizing that may make him realize himself that he got a dud.

 

[Maisie]

I think people can be a little bit proud and stubborn and won''t listen to any kind of advice. If he is happy to present his g/f with a naff stone then let him! Lets just hope she doesn''t find Pricescope and beat him up later for not listening!

 

[Chase035]

Could the "frozen spit" around the culet be girdle reflection? Probably much more likely that get got a dud, but I like to hold out hope they didn't get too finagled.

 

[gtn]

autumngems - when I read the subject line of your post, I couldn''t help but smile since I''ve often thought the same thing about looking at people''s jewelery. "Should I be honest?" is the first thing that pops in my head. Ultimately, I think you did the best thing by not hurting his feelings or making him feel stupid for not listening. You don''t want to kick a guy down especially since he doesn''t seem to know better. Some people have selective hearing. He might have heard "blah blah blah Carat blah blah". Seeing as how the ring will appraise for $5500,I''m guessing that he paid less for the ring.

As a side note, if you ever hear me say "I like the polish of the metal you picked..." chances are, I''m doing everything in my power not to say what''s really on my mind.

 

[FireGoddess]

I think you did the right thing - not outright slamming the stone but gently nudging about it. Still, it never fails to surprise me that people always seem to think they have found the deal of the century, when you do really get what you pay for. Oh well. However, it''s great when you know someone smart enough to recognize that you are a wealth of info and get a great deal because of it. A friend of mine got his coworker an AGS0 with my help and that stone was a knockout. That makes me feel good.

 

[kcoursolle]

I''ve had hit or miss experiences in giving people diamond advice. Some take my advice and get a beautiful ring, some don''t get my advice and get a ring...but unfortunately some don''t take my advice and get an ugly ring. Unless I saw glaring problems like a chip or something I usually just say it''s beautiful and change the subject.