Should he ask...

[Chelle0511]

Opinions needed...my FF and I have been ring shopping, destination wedding searching, etc (for the last month). Getting married is something we knew we wanted for 6 years. We have been togther/lived together for 7 years, and have a 5 year old daughter. We''ve bought several new cars together, share everything financially, and last year purchased our first home.

My questions: After all of the above, should he still ask my father his blessings to marry his daughter?

 

[elrohwen]

I think it totally depends on the people involved. Would your dad really want him to ask? If it''s important to your dad, then I think your FF should definitely ask him.

Does your FF want to do it? If he doesn''t and you don''t think your dad would care, then I don''t think it''s a big deal. Like I said, it''s totally up to how you, your FF, and your dad feel about it.

 

[Izzy03]

Well, look at it this way.... better safe than sorry! He should ask only so there are no regrets for NOT asking. I think most parents would be slightly disappointed anytime they are not approached.

 

[Chelle0511]

Thanks for the reply elrohwen!

I''d love for him to ask, my dad would probably like it - but wouldn''t care either way, and my FF is nervous (even though he won''t admit it) even after my father being like a father to him for 7 years!

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 3/1/2009 10:09:25 PM
Author:Chelle0511
Opinions needed...my FF and I have been ring shopping, destination wedding searching, etc (for the last month). Getting married is something we knew we wanted for 6 years. We have been togther/lived together for 7 years, and have a 5 year old daughter. We''ve bought several new cars together, share everything financially, and last year purchased our first home.

My questions: After all of the above, should he still ask my father his blessings to marry his daughter?

I think its a nice thing to do. I feel that these days where relationship stuff is discussed so openly that its more of a formality than anything. It seems like an engagement wouldn''t be much of a shock to your parents after everything you two have built up together.

Do you think your parents would be upset if he asked you to marry him without speaking to them first?

 

[elrohwen]

Well, if you really want it and you think your dad would really appreciate it, then tell your FF to go for it!

 

[mayachel]

I don''t like to throw around "shoulds" so I won''t. Only that, if this is something that you would like him to do, that you feel your parents would appreciate all the same, why not do it?

Clearly, it''s a matter of asking for a blessing vs. permission and it sounds as though they all get along well enough. So it is unlikely to cause a riot. I''d guess that many parents like the tradition simply as a way of marking their own experience and excitement for a grown child moving out in the world (even when you already have).

 

[FrekeChild]

FI asked my dad for his blessing to marry me after he had asked me. I don''t see anything wrong with it, if all parties are ok with it.

 

[CNOS128]

He should ask if it''s important to you or your parents that he do so.

 

[musey]

Yes, if:

-It would mean a great deal to your father/parents
-It would mean a great deal to you (or at least you don''t mind it)
-It would mean a great deal to your boyfriend

No, if:
-Your dad wouldn''t care either way
-You''re uncomfortable with the idea
-Your boyfriend is uncomfortable with the idea


It really depends entirely on the people involved. It''s never ''silly'' to do it if that''s what would be meaningful to those in the situation. It''s entirely up to you!

 

[bee*]

I really like the idea of this and D did let my father know in advance that he was proposing. I really do think that it depends on your situation.