Shopping with GF?

[pr0pel]

Hi All,

I like surprises and therefore, I want to surprise my gf when I propose to her. I''ve been reading a lot of posts about how everyone goes ring shopping together and lets the woman pick out the ring. Am I missing something here? If they know what they''ll be "getting," then where is the surprise? The only problem with keeping it a total surprise is that I don''t know her true ring size. I might have to sneak one of her rings out of the apartment and bring it into a store to get the e-ring matched but other than taking her with me to the store, I''m not sure what my options are. I''m looking at the Ritani Pave-Set Semi Mount setting... Anyway, I''d love to hear everyone''s opinion on taking the GF ring shopping with me or just keeping it an entire surprise.

Thanks

 

[ladykemma]

if you''re getting a pave ring you MUST know her ring size because pave rings cannot be sized well. They should be made custom to the ring size. if not, the little stones fall out a lot after the tweaking and bending of the ring to get it sized.

some men get a temporary setting so they can surprise her with the diamond and then let her pick out a setting later.

Actually most rings on here are surprises, which I try very hard to talk the men out of.
Read throught the heartbreak threads on here about surprises. Can you tell I''m not an advocate of total surprises? has she dropped any hints? given you any choices? does she want to be surprised?

make sure you know whether she likes yellow metal or white metal. also if she is allergic to white gold. do you know what shape she favors? oval, pear, marquise, cushion, square, rectangular, round, heart ?

also men don''t think about the wedding band. Please make sure the wedding band will fit flush to the engagement ring.

also remember that trendy rings will be out of style in ten years. think of the rings you have seen from the 60s, 70s and 80s. dreadful huh? I say, keep it plain and simple, Can''t go wrong with a sturdy tiffany style setting and a plain wedding band.

 

[pr0pel]

You''ve given me a lot of insight... She told me she hates surprises and wants to pick it out. She did mention that she wants a thin band with diamonds down the side so the Ritani fits that description perfectly. She knows the propsal is going to happen this year around xmas time. The good thing about the Ritani is that the band fits flush so that''s out of the way. The only thing I''m not sure about is the halo that goes around the girdle. I guess I might have to suck it up and bring her to BBB to check it out first.

 

[ladykemma]

we picked out our rings together. it was a joyful experience!

 

[lizz]

Take her with you to jewelry stores to find out what she likes. Then she can leave it up to you from there. Most women don''t want to be surprised. They want to get a certain kind of ring that they have their hearts set on. Take it from someone whose original engagement ring was a surprise . . . find out what she wants. I no longer wear my original engagement ring because it''s not something I ever would have picked. Good luck!

 

[Blenheim]

I''d suck it up and take her out looking. Since she''s come straight out and told you that she hates surprises and wants to be involved, some part of her would probably be disappointed if you proposed without ever consulting her on the ring (regardless of how ecstatic she is to be engaged to you). Plus, you''ll be able to find out her ring size and she''ll be able to see how things actually look on her finger -- something that she fell in love with in a picture might just look wrong to her on her finger, somehow, and it''s good to know about that before you buy it.

There are still ways to add elements of surprise. She doesn''t have to know exactly when she''s going to get it. You could ask her to tell you her five favorite settings, for example, and then surprise her with one of them. (And that way, you''ll know that she likes it.)

 

[anchor31]

If she told you she wants to pick it out, then I think you should let her. My FF was reluctant to take me shopping at first too for the same reasons you mentionned, but I convinced him that since I''ll be wearing that ring for the rest of my life, I should choose what I want to wear. He finally took me, and we are both thrilled with the experience! It''s a wonderful memory of an amazing moment we spent together. Don''t worry, it''ll still be a surprise... She won''t know how, where or when for the actual proposal, right? Let me tell you that even if I picked out my ring, my FF is keeping me on the edge of my seat!

 

[Kaleigh]

Please let her be involved in the process. I know.... you want that surprise element but your girl told you flat out, she wants to be involved. I hate surprises too. My hubby knew what I wanted and when he proposed it was a surprise as in I didn''t know when the proposal was going to happen. But it was a win, win situation. I got to pick the ring, and he surprised me with the proposal. Many horror stories have been told on here with a guy picking a ring that his girl didn''t love. You want her to be happy, so let her in on it. Maybe have her pick out 3 rings that she loves, then you pick one out of the three. Good luck!!!

 

[Julian]

I''d take her ring shopping - make it fun and romantic! We made it an event day - romantic lunch, ring shopping & the theater.

You can still surprise her. The ring shopping day is more to help her see what looks good on her hand -- and to show you what she likes. Then ultimately, you can decide and surprise her!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You sound like a wonderful husband-to-be.

 

[AChiOAlumna]

Think of it this way....the surprise isn''t the style of the ring you present to her, it''s the WAY you do it!!! The style is so individual that you sure don''t want to be spending 100''s of hours looking for (what you think) is the PERFECT ring only to find out she hates it!

So, let her shop with you, and then spend 100''s of hours of figuring out the perfect proposal and know how excited she''ll be when you put that ring on her finger and say "Yes!!!!" to your perfect proposal!

 

[codex57]

Buy her a promise ring or something like that. That''ll let you know her ring size. Or, get her earings and a pendant for some special occasion at a store and "for fun", try on some rings while you''re there.

 

[Allisonfaye]

Date: 7/9/2006 2:43:09 PM
Author: pr0pel
You''ve given me a lot of insight... She told me she hates surprises and wants to pick it out. She did mention that she wants a thin band with diamonds down the side so the Ritani fits that description perfectly. She knows the propsal is going to happen this year around xmas time. The good thing about the Ritani is that the band fits flush so that''s out of the way. The only thing I''m not sure about is the halo that goes around the girdle. I guess I might have to suck it up and bring her to BBB to check it out first.

Enough said. Let her pick out her ring.

 

[Sparkster]

Before I was engaged, I always wanted a princess solitare. When my bf proposed, he did so without a ring. We went ring shopping together - I fell in love with the first ring I saw (but didn''t try it on). It was a princess cut with two brilliant pink diamonds on either side of the princess.

In the ensuing days, I tried on different style princess solitaires and then tried on the one I fell in love with and bingo - that''s the one that I ended up getting.

Even though your girlfriend may like a particular style now, it may change. Has she tried on different styles?

I know it''s traditional and that many men want to surprise their girlfriends with a ring but imagine the fun you could have together shopping for the ring. That memory will be with you forever

 

[pr0pel]

After reading everyone''s opinion, I chatted it over with my GF and decided we''re going to go do it together. We''ll probably end up going to BB&B to check out the Ritani in person and once I get an exact size, I''ll most likely order from an online retailer like Pearlman''s or something like that. As I''ve read here, Bill will take care of me It was either them or WF but that''s a whole other discussion. I appreciate the input from everyone and I guess it''s not so uncommon after all to have couples shop for rings together.

Thanks again.

 

[anchor31]

I''m glad you''ve talked with her and decided to do it together! I promise you won''t regret it!