She lost the ring, need to outdo myself

[Domenic]

Pretty much, long story short, my fiancee's brand new engagement ring was stolen literally the week it was given to her (nope, no insurance)
.
It's a bit of a long story and not the point of this post, but she is extremely devastated by it. It was pretty much my life savings, but it's my job to make her happy, and happy she'll be...

I, somehow, am going to get her the exact same ring, because she loved it so much. The center diamond will be slightly larger, but the design of the ring was something she really loved.

Now, that's the easy part. What I'm looking for some help with is this:

I need to make this ring more special than the last (even tho it will look practically exactly the same). Something sentimental (or at least, more sentimental than the last one). She is devestated by the loss of her e-ring, and I'm hoping that by giving her the ring back, and something more, it'll help ease her heart.

Any ideas? Perhaps me having personal involvement in the actual crafting of this ring? Anything like that?

Thank you in advance

 

[diamondseeker2006]

No, if she loved what you gave her, please get the same thing. That is special enough. Would you like help finding the diamond? What setting is it? I feel so sad for her. I am sure she is terribly upset.

 

[Niel]

I understand you didn't have ring insurance but have you checked your homeowners insurance?

 

[Domenic]

No, if she loved what you gave her, please get the same thing. That is special enough. Would you like help finding the diamond? What setting is it? I feel so sad for her. I am sure she is terribly upset.

I am getting the same ring... exactly the same except a slightly larger diamond.
I just need ways to make the ring itself more special. Think of something sentimental, like, me helping craft the actual physical band or something like that....

The diamond and design of the ring are already with the jeweller who made the previous one, so I'm ok on that aspect. I just need some ideas so that when I hand it to her, it makes it that much "more" special

She is devastated, to say the least.

 

[Domenic]

I understand you didn't have ring insurance but have you checked your homeowners insurance?

Unfortunately, yes, and I'm SOL
It was stolen overseas.

 

[Slickk]

I'm so sorry for you and your fiancé. That's so sad.
How about engraving something inside the band. A private endearment you share or something cute like, "I would it all over again with you..."

 

[VRBeauty]

I agree with diamondseeker... your fiance will be very touched that you went to the trouble to replace her stolen ring with its twin - except of course for the slightly larger stone. To me, that is in itself special and you don't need to "outdo" that gesture. Besides, the touch that says "special" to you might become, to her, a constant reminder of the ring she lost.

If you're set on somehow commemorating ring # 1, consider this for a future gift-giving occasion: a miniature replica of her engagement ring that she can wear around her neck on those occasions when it might not be wise to wear her e-ring (i.e. when you go camping or to the beach, or when gardening.) Leon Mege used to make little ring pendants, but unless the ring has a lot of intricate details, I suspect your local jeweler would be able to make you a pint-sized replica as well.

https://leonmege.com/index.php/articles/collections/la-petite

 

[Domenic]

Thank you for the responses

I agree that I don't want something to be constantly reminding her of the stolen ring. However, I really want to do something special. I'm thinking of asking my jeweler if there's any way I can personally be involved in the making of the custom ring. Maybe I can make some small video clips of me helping the crafting along and show it to her once she gets the ring. I think she'd really like that... But I'm open to any other ideas

 

[mrs-b]

I doubt you'll be able to help with the making of the ring. Have you thought of just having something engraved on the inside? How about something like "Second ring - Same perfect girl" - or something like that?

Just a thought.

Frankly, though, I think the fact that you're making her happiness such a priority, and that the diamond is larger, and you're doing your very best for her on this - well, I think that's more than enough. She's a lucky girl - and best wishes to both of you.

 

[Acinom]

How sweet of you to give her a new ring!
You could ask your jeweller to add two little (birth) stones or diamonds on the inside of the shank or add a special engraving

 

[PintoBean]

How sweet of you to give her a new ring!
You could ask your jeweller to add two little (birth) stones or diamonds on the inside of the shank or add a special engraving

this!! The surprise stones with your birthstones is so sweet!!!

 

[Niel]

It's a bit of a long story and not the point of this post, but she is extremely devastated by it. It was pretty much my life savings, but it's my job to make her happy, and happy she'll be...

Yes all this is sweet but keep in mind it's just jewelry. Dont go into debt over this. Happiness over jewelry isn't going to mean the same if accompanied by financial hardship.

 

[motownmama]

That's SO very true. It could be a CZ, and you replace it when you have the funds. You still have a wedding to pay for, right?

 

[Domenic]

I'll figure out how to finance it without putting us in debt

So engraving and birth stones
any other ideas?

 

[tyty333]

Just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened...you might ask her if she would like any changes to the setting
(or is the ring replacement a covert action?)

 

[Domenic]

Just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened...you might ask her if she would like any changes to the setting
(or is the ring replacement a covert action?)

She hasn't a clue... At least, not that I'm going to get her one equivalent (or slightly better) than the last.
A few days ago she even said "I guess we can just get married without a ring " with a really disappointed and sad face.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Engraving the engagement date and putting some sentimental short words is enough...love you forever....or whatever is enough. No you would not really be helping make the ring so I think that is pretty much out of the question. Leave that to the pros, please

Jewelry Insurance:

You can try replacement jewelry insurance through AIG, call Touchstone Insurance for details and if they insure in your state.

Other choice, Jewelers Mutual (online). Compare rates.

 

[tyty333]

Just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened...you might ask her if she would like any changes to the setting
(or is the ring replacement a covert action?)

She hasn't a clue... At least, not that I'm going to get her one equivalent (or slightly better) than the last.
A few days ago she even said "I guess we can just get married without a ring " with a really disappointed and sad face.

Believe me, replacing the ring will be a big enough to-do! You'd be a hero in my book! I know she must feel awful. A sweet
sentiment engraved on the inside would be perfect. I would be in tears... .

 

[luvdajules]

What about a special ring box. I know they make those handmade velvet ones in great colors. I like the hidden stones or engraving idea. I think the ring you are making IS the real ring for the marriage (given with so much thought and care). That other ring was the warm up, destined for another journey. Best wishes to you both.

 

[kenny]

I'll figure out how to finance it without putting us in debt

Huh?

Financing IS debt.
Maybe you were joking.

 

[Domenic]

I'll figure out how to finance it without putting us in debt

Huh?

Financing IS debt.
Maybe you were joking.

You're reading the word finance literally.
I'm saying it in terms of I'll figure out how to pay for it. No loans
Maybe 1 less car in the family tho

 

[solgen]

I'll figure out how to finance it without putting us in debt

Huh?

Financing IS debt.
Maybe you were joking.

Finance has several definitions so maybe he just meant how to pay or fund it. Or maybe he is gonna sell a kidney.


I also don't really see the point of having to outdo yourself. If she loved the first ring then a replacement should be loved as well. But if you insist then it would help to post the specs of the first ring.

 

[partgypsy]

If you do, you can make it really special by insuring it asap, before she wears it, so you don't have to go through this again!

 

[distracts]

I would get a card, or make a card (if you've any artistic talent), and write something about how this is the first of many struggles on your life together but that you know the two of you will be able to continue forging your relationship into something stronger and better as the years go on, and that whenever she looks at her ring she should remember that.

I don't think it's necessary to have something special directly on the ring or in the ring-making process - I think the way you give it to her and the sentiment surrounding that can make it special.

 

[yssie]

I'll figure out how to finance it without putting us in debt

Huh?

Financing IS debt.
Maybe you were joking.

You're reading the word finance literally.
I'm saying it in terms of I'll figure out how to pay for it. No loans
Maybe 1 less car in the family tho

I'm going to be the dishrag in this thread... I LOVE that you're going to so much trouble to make her whole again after such a devastating event!

But I really, really, really don't like the idea of buying (an ultimately useless and frivolous) luxury item you can't truly afford, or have to sacrifice significantly for. You made clear in your first post - Niel quoted it - that the first ring was a significant expense. Your comment about possibly giving up a second car, etc., is more concerning. You aren't talking about replacing one frivolous luxury item - an awesome sound system in your truck - you're talking about sacrifices your family unit will bear.

Please talk to her about this. Please don't surprise her. You're going to be married - money will be shared, debt will be shared, and sacrifices will be shared - she needs to be part of the discussion of how to prioritise wants and needs and allocate current funds. She may genuinely much prefer not to replace at all, or to replace with something that requires much less expense... Or you may both decide to go ahead - the important thing is that you're both aware of the pros and cons and are both on board. She needs to be made whole, but making her whole does not necessarily mean "outdoing yourself" in this manner.

 

[chrono]

I'm going to be the dishrag in this thread... I LOVE that you're going to so much trouble to make her whole again after such a devastating event!

But I really, really, really don't like the idea of buying (an ultimately useless and frivolous) luxury item you can't truly afford, or have to sacrifice significantly for. You made clear in your first post - Niel quoted it - that the first ring was a significant expense. Your comment about possibly giving up a second car, etc., is more concerning. You aren't talking about replacing one frivolous luxury item - an awesome sound system in your truck - you're talking about sacrifices your family unit will bear.

Please talk to her about this. Please don't surprise her. You're going to be married - money will be shared, debt will be shared, and sacrifices will be shared - she needs to be part of the discussion of how to prioritise wants and needs and allocate current funds. She may genuinely much prefer not to replace at all, or to replace with something that requires much less expense... Or you may both decide to go ahead - the important thing is that you're both aware of the pros and cons and are both on board. She needs to be made whole, but making her whole does not necessarily mean "outdoing yourself" in this manner.

+1 to Yssie's post. There are far more important things than a symbolic ring to consider.

 

[motownmama]

How about a really beautiful setting, but a colored stone that you can swap out for a diamond on an anniversary?

 

[JDDN]

It's truly wonderful that you want to make her happy. But, are you absolutely positive that giving her the same ring with an even larger stone will make her happy given your financial circumstance?? Admittedly we do not know the details of your financial circumstance, just that you stated you spent your life savings on the first ring. Reason I ask is because she may feel really uncomfortable that you somehow extended yourself or found a way to pay for an even more expensive ring. And it sounds like the first one came at no small cost.

I'm kicking myself as I write this because I'm giving you unsolicited opinions, but I can't help it! It's not a great way to start off your shared life together with financial uncertainty. The ring is just a symbol of your devotion to her. That you will love her for the rest of your life. The real goods are in your relationship to each other. A beautiful setting with a smaller stone or a lovely gemstone as the symbol of your love would be so romantic. And you could make it clear that when the time is right, you will blow her out of the water with another ring. Somehow knowing that you are making sound financial decisions may make her feel secure and happy. Over-extending yourself may create feelings of uncertainty or anxiety. I hope I haven't offended you but I think it's important to think about all angles on this.

Good luck with the ring no matter what you decide to do!

 

[backwardsandinheels]

What about a beautiful wedding band now and kick butt engagement ring later?