Share a memory of a loved one

[clarity1264]

Some of my favorite memories are of watching scary movies with my mom at night/ being able to enjoy the simpler things in life such as being able to feel safe and loved.

 

[marymm]

my pop was a great reader and shared his love of books with me and the whole family -- he introduced me to so many book worlds and authors that remain favorites to this day -- I loved spending time with him and feel fortunate he was my father -- gone too soon but remembered with love and laughter and pride every day

 

[Begonia]

Miss you Mom. Thanks for giving me grit and determination, your love and laughter, and the drive to keep going even when it gets so dang hard.

I miss the tea breaks with you most of all.

 

[monarch64]

I wrote a whole thing about my mother, but decided against posting it.

My great-grandmother had this little bitty house in the sweetest neighborhood, surrounded by mature trees, and the lot her house was in was giant; probably 2 acres.

My mother used to bring me over to my GGMa’s when she wanted a break and my older brother was in school. I am so lucky to have had that time with my ggma.

Ms. Vannie taught me how to make clover crowns and necklaces, sitting in the grass outside.

She taught me how to pick up persimmons and pulp them when her giant persimmon tree was giving every fall.

She pretended not to know me when I trick or treated at her door at Halloween and gave me way too many boxes of Milk Duds.

She had a cat named Garfield that absolutely hated me.

There are so many things I remember about her, I could never record them all. She was a joy to hang out with and just a chill person to be around. When I knew her she had a short gray perm with a blue rinse and wore house dresses she made herself. I still have quilts and afghans she made by hand. I loved her so much. Still miss her mac n cheese.

 

[missy]

I miss my grandma. We were super close. I have a very small family and though we are small in number we are all so close with each other. My grandparents moved to the adjacent neighborhood my parents moved to when we were just toddlers. We saw them all the time.

After I finished graduate school and moved back to NYC I used to visit my grandma every single week. I would come over and just hang out with her. We would talk and laugh and the day would fly by. She was the kindest, sweetest, gentlest person I ever knew. She was selfless as many grandmas are. She only wanted us to have a happy and fulfilling life filled with love.

She died when I was 26. It was unexpected so in a way even harder because we did not see it coming. She wasn't old but her heart and lungs just gave out during a bad asthma attack. Looking back I now know it was alpha one anti trypsin deficiency that killed her but in those days drs didn't test routinely for it and didn't know much about it. She was a true life angel in real life and the world was better for having had her in it and they lost a good soul when she died.



This was my entire family in the 70s



She lives on in my heart always. Never does a week go by I do not think of her (and all my beloved fur babies who are also gone from this world). The grief never leaves but is tolerable. And now there is joy when I think of her and not just the pain of losing her. She would be very pleased with how our lives turned out. RIP dear grandma. We love you and one day I hope we will be reunited though I do not believe in that I hope I am wrong.

 

[Slickk]

I miss my mom. We used to garden together at her home and mine. When we would visit each other, we would ‘take a tour’ of our green-thumb triumphs. That memory popped up unexpectedly last week when I planted something new and had no one to share it with …

 

[monarch64]

I just remembered that I have a memory quilt that my mother made for my above-mentioned great-grandmother. You will not believe this. My mother was a quilter and an historian. She asked all of my ggma family to write on fabric that she went on to incorporate into a quilt for my ggma to have in the assisted living facility when she was 92.

It looks like this, and I have a close up of what I wrote when I was maybe 19-20. So glad this thread was started because it jogged my memory to get this quilt out and do something with it.

 

[monarch64]

I miss my mom. We used to garden together at her home and mine. When we would visit each other, we would ‘take a tour’ of our green-thumb triumphs. That memory popped up unexpectedly last week when I planted something new and had no one to share it with …

I love this. Gardening is soul-soothing. And when you do it with someone you love it is divine.

I don’t garden with anyone, haven’t for years. But I always happily think of my great grandmother and mom and dad. Those are such special times, just digging in the dirt, kind of toiling away to grow your own things and bring them home to eat. Ahhhh, what a blissful thing, to be intertwined between the earth and loved ones.

 

[Slickk]

I love this. Gardening is soul-soothing. And when you do it with someone you love it is divine.

I don’t garden with anyone, haven’t for years. But I always happily think of my great grandmother and mom and dad. Those are such special times, just digging in the dirt, kind of toiling away to grow your own things and bring them home to eat. Ahhhh, what a blissful thing, to be intertwined between the earth and loved ones.

Aww, @monarch64 you're making me all misty eyed reminiscing. It’s weird how that memory only reignited last week while I was gardening and wondering why I had less interest now. And how correct you are in that sharing it with loved ones is the best therapy. There is something so serene and soothing about having ones hands and/or feet in the dirt.
I have recently learned that there is a true physiological benefit to ‘grounding’ oneself. Thank you for your sharing wonderful gardening memory.

Sorry to derail the thread …

 

[monarch64]

Aww, @monarch64 you're making me all misty eyed reminiscing. It’s weird how that memory only reignited last week while I was gardening and wondering why I had less interest now. And how correct you are in that sharing it with loved ones is the best therapy. There is something so serene and soothing about having ones hands and/or feet in the dirt.
I have recently learned that there is a true physiological benefit to ‘grounding’ oneself. Thank you for your sharing wonderful gardening memory.

Sorry to derail the thread …

Yesss! You’ve found it, the actual magic.

 

[Ally T]

My father. It will be 22 years this Thursday since he died suddenly, from complications of leukaemia treatment, aged only 58.

The funniest guy EVER to exist. My mum would be telling us off & he would be stood behind her, she would presume all serious, only pulling faces at us to make us laugh. And If we broke & laughed, mum would get even crosser, thinking we were not taking her seriously. It was a challenge he threw down & we accepted

The anniversary is always tough on me, my sisters & my brother. He was the cog in the wheel. What breaks my heart the most is that he only got to meet 2 of is 9 grandchildren.

But funniest memory would be when I was 15. We grew up in a tiny rural village where everyone knew eachother & the cool kids hung out at the monument in the village centre where all the cobbled lanes converged. Dad & I were heading to the Bakery after school one day & all the cool kids were sitting there, smoking etc. He clocked them when I did, grabbed my hand at the side of the lane, looked left & right & said REALLY loudly “Remember your Green Cross Code, Alexandra. Look left, look right & be safe! Come on now!” And he held my hand so tight I thought it might drop off. All the cool kids saw me crossing the road holding my dads hand. Aged 15.

Coming from a very poor upbringing & determined to make something of his life, he would be so incredibly proud of where we all are. He ended up being very successful & respected in his profession & gave us everything he never had as a child. I miss him every single day.

 

[seaurchin]

This thread made me think. I have some good memories to be sure but wasn't really that close to any of my older family members. Either by circumstances or keeping a distance deliberately due to feeling like they were "just too much."

However, and maybe at least partly for that reason, I am very close with my own family (husband and kids). I hope to end up as one of the beloveds posted about here.

 

[missy]

This thread made me think. I have some good memories to be sure but wasn't really that close to any of my older family members. Either by circumstances or keeping a distance deliberately due to feeling like they were "just too much."

However, and maybe at least partly for that reason, I am very close with my own family (husband and kids). I hope to end up as one of the beloveds posted about here.

But hopefully not for a very very long time

 

[Rons Wolfe]

Mine is about my husband, we only had 3 1/2 years together;

I'm a breast cancer survivor of several years, in my 60's. After having a double mastectomy with DEIP flap replacement, the 'girls' bear little resemblance to the originals once they're uncovered. For years I just didn't bother dating any man long enough to get to the point where he got to see them. I just stayed celibate, figured I would be for the rest of my life. Then I met someone who was so nice, and such a gentleman, that when he asked me out I couldn't say No.

He was such a good man I was completely in awe of him, and to my surprise he really liked seeing me. I told him early on about the cancer and mastectomy. After a couple months he was at my house one evening he said "I think I'm falling in love with you, I'd like to stay with you tonight". When I hesitated, he hurriedly said "DON'T feel like you have to say yes if you think it's too soon, it won't change how I feel". I said he could. As we got undressed I said "They're not pretty, hope they don't make you run away". He said "They may not be pretty in the conventional sense, but they allow you to be alive today. That makes them beautiful in my eyes".

Words cannot describe how much I loved my husband!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

,my garndma had a chockie bickie tin
there was a joke chockie bickie in there
i think a chocolate finger
my cousin and I always tried to get it
it was rubber maybe and full of our teeth marks
i assume grand ma washed it occasionally

at grandma's if you fell over you got a sticking plaster and a chockie bickie
if you fell over at home you just got told "you're ok, get up"
my granddad had a huge vege garden
beetroot and carrots and parsnips and spuds and after harvest they would go into the celler
at the bottom of the garden was a glass house full of granddad's tomtoes, mum used to say he killed them with kindness
grandma had these beautiful deep blue gentians that edged the front lawn down the drive and in the spring in the front garden up by the front door she had white, pink and blue hyacinths
the smell of hyacinths is grandma

Grandma always wore a brooch and a hat with a hat pin if she went out
we used to got o this fancy tea rooms called the savoy
they waited on you and your sandwhiches and cakes came out on a tired plate stand and they had this big stuffed bear in the entrance

the loo at grandma's house was once outside off the wash house but grandad had build it into the house although you still went out the back door just not actually outside
the loo had a chain

on the wall in the loo was this big colour poster than was in the paper (the paper was just black and white in those days) of the Queen when she had visited NZ for her silver jubilee

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Mine is about my husband, we only had 3 1/2 years together;

I'm a breast cancer survivor of several years, in my 60's. After having a double mastectomy with DEIP flap replacement, the 'girls' bear little resemblance to the originals once they're uncovered. For years I just didn't bother dating any man long enough to get to the point where he got to see them. I just stayed celibate, figured I would be for the rest of my life. Then I met someone who was so nice, and such a gentleman, that when he asked me out I couldn't say No.

He was such a good man I was completely in awe of him, and to my surprise he really liked seeing me. I told him early on about the cancer and mastectomy. After a couple months he was at my house one evening he said "I think I'm falling in love with you, I'd like to stay with you tonight". When I hesitated, he hurriedly said "DON'T feel like you have to say yes if you think it's too soon, it won't change how I feel". I said he could. As we got undressed I said "They're not pretty, hope they don't make you run away". He said "They may not be pretty in the conventional sense, but they allow you to be alive today. That makes them beautiful in my eyes".

Words cannot describe how much I loved my husband!

oh i need tissues

 

[Rons Wolfe]

Here's another;

My husband and I were older, with no living parents to stand under the chuppah with us for our wedding. So the plan was for his son to walk me down the aisle, then take his place as my 'father'. While his daughter and her husband stood in as his parents.

However, a couple nights before our wedding, I broke 2 bones in my right foot while getting ready to drive down to his house the next day. That next day I wore flat sandals all day, thought the foot might be OK. But on the morning on our wedding day, I woke up with him, and lightly brushed my foot against his leg as we started getting up. I let out a yelp, he pulled the covers off my foot so he could see. Took one look, said he was taking me to his doc, and somehow got me in. X-Rays showed 2 complete but non-displaced breaks, Doc fitted me with an ortho boot. Doc was aware it was our wedding day, told me I could wear flat sandals for the event, but cautioned me that bumping the foot could make it much worse, and make surgery necessary. We went and found me some flat sandals that mimicked dressy shoes, I wore those.

Once we got to the venue, my husband-to-be made one change. He didn't want anyone, even his son, alongside my vulnerable foot. So his son would be already under the chuppah with his wife waiting, and my about-to-be-husband would walk down the aisle with me. We waited for everyone to take their place, he gently squeezed my hand and said "Ready?", and we smiled as we started off. That feeling of having all eyes on both me and the love of my life walking together was the most incredible and heart-filling thing that could have happened on that moment. I'm beyond glad it worked out that way.

 

[dk168]

My dad:

He had the foresight to teach me how to drink and to play Mah-jong when I was 11 along with my mum. He said they were important life skills, which turned out to be true for drinking, not so much playing Mah-jong due to lack of players in my social circle.

I got his drinking gene, and his sense of hospitality and fun, and his generous nature too.

My late partner:

The best travel companion that I ever had, and I miss him dearly for that alone.

When we were in Athens, one morning I asked him if we should go and visit a historical site, and he replied not another pile of rocks, so we went shopping, eating and drinking instead.

He too was meticulous in planning his trips with a list for every circumstances to avoid any mishaps, and liked to plan well in advance.

My dear friend who died of a sudden and tragic accident recently:

We shared the same JFDI attitude to life.

Never a diet or calorie counting bore, never a dull moment in her company with a wicked sense of humour. Life will be duller without her.

DK

 

[autumngems]

My dad,
He had a great sense of humor however he suffered from depression and heart disease. We knew he loved us but he wasn't one for overt heartfelt measures he would say I love you if I said it but he normally didn't hug or kiss unless you initiated it. I was leaving for Japan and we went home to see family first. I was sitting on the front porch and he grabbed my hand and held it, it meant so much to me. Two years after being in Japan he had heart issues and I went home to care for him for 2 weeks after he was released from hospital. He was better, I went back to Japan and 2 weeks later he passed and I flew back for the funeral

 

[Calliecake]

@autumngems, I’m glad you had those two weeks with your dad.

 

[TooPatient]

My grandfather was the picture of cranky old man with a work ethic and sense of duty that will never be matched. I grew up being intimidated by him as he came home tired from work then kept working in the garage or around the house/yard. Don't touch the bushes or Grandpa will be mad! Do what needs to be done and don't make a fuss. So, yes, a bit of intimidation mixed with lots of respect and awe. He was one of the few in my family to never raise a hand to me or speak unkindly. He was direct and not to be argued, but he was never hurtful. Imagine my shock when I got older and we started to talk. He was amazing. His stories and skills were remarkable. We shared so many common interests that we ended up spending a lot of time together over the last half dozen years of his life. I will be forever grateful to make those memories with him. A few of the highlights....

He came to our house and helped me plant the first batch of fruit trees here -- 17 fruit trees in unseasonably hot weather. That 82 year old man worked me and my younger cousin into the ground for two days running. He was right up and going the whole time. I slept the next couple of days and could hardly move. Him? He got up early to drive 4+ hours to even hotter temperatures so he could paint two houses.

I dropped by one day to bring him something. He met me in the driveway and his eyes lit up. He had a special bottle in the refrigerator to open the next time he saw me and here I am! It was early and I had an appointment to get to, but a couple of days later, DH and I sat at his table sipping the "champagne" he had made more than 40 years earlier and then were honored to share one of the very few remaining bottles of "something really old" that he'd opened here and there over the years. It was a wine that his uncle had made in the 1940s before the war. 80+ year old wine from grapes his uncle had grown.

I ended up blind in one eye and hospitalized to find out what was going on. They had already given me an oncology team and scheduled a biopsy. I was not in a good place emotionally. I talked with him over the phone at one point shortly after being transferred to the specialty hospital and he kept it positive and joking. Said he hoped it wasn't my shooting eye. I needed that laugh. Things were super bleak at that moment and he managed to lift me up enough to think a bit more clearly.

We worked on an airplane together, took his rifles out to the range, smoked meats, fried fish, compared asparagus beds, sifted for diamonds at his table, and so much more. He was the only real father I ever had and my best friend I couldn't wait to share good news with.