Independent Gal
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2006
- Messages
- 5,471
Yes, I''ve been in situations where the behavior of a boss and coworkers has been what many women would consider inappropriate.Date: 2/7/2007 4:04:50 PM
Author:Independent Gal
Has anyone ever had their boss be REALLY inappropriate or flirtatious with them? If so, what did you do?![]()
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ITA. Another reason to tell him first is that by doing so you have given him the opportunity to correct the problem. Think of it as an employee: you''re not following a procedure properly and you get written up and it''s in your record, even though no one told you were doing it wrong and you didn''t have a chance to correct your procedure.Date: 2/7/2007 5:34:35 PM
Author: starryeyed
Yes, I''ve been in situations where the behavior of a boss and coworkers has been what many women would consider inappropriate.
Do not go around or above this person until you speak with him directly! This is important for several reasons. First and foremost, it''s important for you to stand up for yourself. YOU have to be the one to establish your own boundaries and limits of acceptibility. This is important for your own personal development.
Second, if you go around the person you risk getting a ''reputation''. The only way I would take it to the next level would be if the guy didn''t respect your requests and still treated you inappropriately after, say, 2-3 requests to stop. Document everything if this starts to happen.
Please be aware though that some men behave inappropriately and don''t realize it. Some women feel harrassed if they receive compliments on their appearance. Some women don''t like to be touched at all. Many times, male co-workers may not even be aware of this. That''s why it''s important for you to say something in a nice way or perhaps even make a joke out of it. Don''t create tension or controversy, unless the person is totally out-of-hand and ''nice'' doesn''t work.
Unfortunately I have found this to be the case as well. There is a manager (not mine) who makes it a point to say inappropriate things to me nearly every day. Fortunately I have the ability to work from home 2-3 days per week, so it's not constant.Date: 2/7/2007 4:24:06 PM
Author: IslandDreams
I have had issues with this. There was a manager from another department who liked to walk by 'too close' with his hands in such a position as to touch me on the chest and say inappropriate things to me. I did nothing other than try to avoid him because I have seen other people turn sexual harrassement into HR only to be 'blacklisted' by management for promotions, juicy projects etc.. I know what the LAW says but the reality is different at least at my mostly male run company. Sad but true.
Indy,
you might be better off not waiting for the next awkward situation, and he probably doesn''t think he is doing anything wrong. If he thinks you are a friend of his, I would tell him whenever you get an opportunity. You don''t have to be confrontational and could just put it this way: "P" I know you think you are being friendly, but your behavior towards me really bothers me, specially when you place your hand on my thigh. I really don''t appreciate that and I was hoping I could just bring this up directly to you without making this a big deal or involving anyone"
Does he know about "M"? how is he by the way?
If he really thinks of you as a "friend", use that towards him with enough threat that he may think you could tell your boss/HR.
Date: 2/8/2007 12:53:56 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Hey DMB, I''m curious... from a guy''s perspective... is it possible that a guy would act like that and NOT mean it sexually? I mean, putting his hand on my thigh? Trying to hug me in my office? He''s a lot older than me and has always been in a position of authority over me, so it''s not like we''re ''chums''. Although I''ve never had a male ''chum'' put his hand on my thigh!
But now I''m thinking ''maybe I AM hysterical'' ?
Yes, he knows about M, but M works in another area and they don''t actually KNOW each other.
And M is great, thanks for asking! Things are going very well between us. I''ll post an update on LIW sometime soon.
How are things with YOU? I think it''s time YOU posted an update!
Glad M is working out