Setting

[Cinemafreak]

This is my third post and thanks to you all who have posted and will post. It means a lot to have all this support on this big decision. THANKS!

I received my bonus from work today which has set my budget a little lower than I wanted. My future fiance likes a very nice setting and band combo that is putting a dent in the budget making it hard to get a nice diamond that we both like...ok..ok..a nice diamond that I like. What can I say..I am hooked. Back to the task at hand. I have two options at this point. Get a smaller or less quality diamond and the setting she likes and upgrade the diamond later OR get a nicer diamond, but place it in a solitar setting and upgrade the setting later, prior to wedding, where she can really take her time and pick it out. Thoughts? I would especially like anyone that has done this and the point of view of a woman.


Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[valeria101]

The most common opinion around here would be for "get the stone, forget the setting". I really doubt any girl woudl be sorry to be left with a diamond to play with

Just my 0.2, of course... but this one woudl make a great poll !

 

[sunseeker]

I would get the better stone now in a simple setting for another reason you may not have thought of: What kind of wedding ring does your fiance want? Maybe the e-ring setting would not go with the w-ring she likes and she would rather match the two together when you are shopping for wedding rings later.

My husband and I recently bought an e-ring and w-ring for me, and al lot of the e-ring settings would not go with the w-rings I looked at. I wanted the two rings to sit flush against each other, and a lot of the e-ring setting would not do that.

Or maybe she will want to wear a ring on each hand?

Something else to think about, but personally I would go for the simple setting now and then possibly change it when you buy w-rings.

~Sunseeker

 

[sevens one]

Go for the stone. A setting is a setting is a setting.
But a stone...........

 

[kpebbles]

i agree, get the better stone now. then you guys, or she, can pick out the setting together later.

 

[wallace]

Well - I would go for the setting. Since no one else has (yet) I will explain why:
1) You can always get another stone
2) if she picked out the setting she really likes, then it is important to her - it is just as important as the stone.
Have you ever seen a fabulous painting in a horrible cheap aluminm frame? It doesn't ruin the painting but it sure detracts from the overall aesthetic experience. A setting showcases you stone and thereby enhances it.

Someone just posted a great thread about the importance of the setting to him - I thinnk it was Noobie's A-ring... I'll check.

3) * The proposal is important becuase that will be the remaining memory. THe ring will always be on her finger - but the feeling the exact moment you/she opens the box cannot be changed once done. Especially if you are trying to surprise her, do you really want her to open it and think something even a tiny bit disppointing? You do risk this. For proposal purposes, I think the overall package is paramount. Why not just give the loose stone in that case? She is not going to pull out a pair of calipers and a loupe at the table and start inspecting the stone! She is going to want to have her breath taken away and put that ring on and run around showing it to everyone telling them how special it is beccause you worked so hard to make it perfect.

Unless she's a super-stone freak (no offense intended to those here who are), the whole package will matter. Super-stone freaks may not give a fig for setting and will only see rock. You need to decide which type she is!

That said, there are some people who have problems with their rings and have had to chose whether or not to give the ring in a temporary setting - in this case it is a judgement call and the true test of - "how well do you know you're fiancee"? You don't have that unfortunate problem!

? JUST HOW MUCH SMALLER OF A STONE ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

I would feel a little disppointed if, after such a magical moment, I knew I had to get up and go shopping for weeks and all that stuff, waiting, negotiating, problems, new costs, etc. and the ring now became a project... Besides, she might have the wedding band all planned out already!

So, that's just me - thought I'd mention it. Can you discuss with the jeweler and prepare for the possibility of an upgrade, or even the setting swap - if he knows in advance he might be able to help somehow. Also, some jewelers can do financing - could you pay the bulk of the ring now and finance the difference between the stones? Just a suggestion.

Know your girl - remember, it is for her - so don't get too caught up in all the rock statistics that drive us all, esp. men, a bit overboard in the search for the most perfect stone in the biggest size. Maybe she's just happy that you're thinking of her!

 

[wallace]

See! you said it yourself! A stone you like!
She does have wedding set in mind... I'd definaitely go for the smaller stone, better quality. Does the wedding band have diamonds, too?

 

[ShopDiva]

Get the stone now and then you two can make a special trip to pick out the setting later. If you plan to upgrade already do it from the start so your happy and her being able to choose the setting will make her happy too. It can be a combined effort! For me, I defintely had opinions on what setting I wanted. Have Fun

 

[aljdewey]

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On 4/22/2004 10:12:38 PM Cinemafreak wrote:





I have two options at this point, Get a smaller or less quality diamond and the setting she likes and upgrade the diamond later OR get a nicer diamond, but place it in a solitar setting and upgrade the setting later, prior to wedding, where she can really take her time and pick it out. Thoughts? I would especially like anyone that has done this and the point of view of a woman.

----------------

Hi, CF......well, I can help on two fronts. I am a woman, and we just went through the same thing purchasing my ring last Decmeber.

When I first came to PS, I was bent on getting something "different" from the norm....it seems everyone on the planet wears a round solitaire, and I wanted a more unique look. However, once I learned about cut, I just HAD to go with a round. for me, the biggest appeal of a diamond is its fire and sparkle, and a well-cut round achieves that like no other. I decided that I could make a round stone unique by making a custom setting. So you can see, the setting in my equation was VERY important.

That said, we were on a limited budget and Rich asked me what I'd prefer. While Rich didn't mind doing the upgrade thing later, I really wanted to keep my original diamond if possible. I opted to put all the money into the stone and set it in a temporary setting, and then upgrade the setting later. Doing so allowed us to take advantage of an *unbelievable* find on a diamond from Whiteflash that was perfect for us....an *incredibly* clean, spectacularly cut 1.24 H, SI2 diamond that are so tough to come by and offer so much value.

Yes, a tiny piece of me was wistful that I wouldn't be able to show my "finished" ring (the one I pictured in my head) when people learned we were engaged, but I found that really didn't matter to me in the end. Turned out that the classic Tiffany style really grew on me in an unexpected way and changed my thinking a bit on the design of our permanent setting. We are now working on a permanent custom setting and will have it done before the wedding in July.

If I had to do it over again, I'd do it exactly the same way.

 

[aljdewey]

Ok, that was the "what I think" post; now let's look at a few mechanics......things you should think about in making this decision.




The setting she wants......is it easily modified? Say putting a new head on the ring? If so, then you're okay on getting a smaller stone now and going up to a bigger stone. If the setting isn't easily adaptable, though, getting a "smaller" stone might not be the best idea. One of the women here did that, and when she went to upgrade the stone, she found it wouldn't fit in the setting. She ended up with a whole new setting anyway!




An alternative for you is to drop the color/clarity of your intial stone so that you can get dimensions that will most closely resemble what your upgrade will be. If you know your ultimate goal is a 1.25 G, VS2 stone, for example, and those typically measure around 7.00-7.05mm, then get a J, SI stone with those dimensions. The upgrade won't be size, it will be color/clarity, and the setting will take both stones without a problem or alterations.

 

[strmrdr]

get the one that will be least costly to upgrade.
Lets say tou have $5000 and the setting is $2000
If you buy a $4900 dollar diamond and a $100 setting now you are out $100+setting+appraisal for the upgrade over buyin both now.

If you buy a $3000 diamond and the $2000 setting if you get the diamond from a place with a 100% upgrade policy your out the cost of shipping, appraisal and setting say $350 or so with another $60-$100 or so if you need to change the head on the ring.
Depending on the design of the setting you may not be able to upgrade to a larger diamond in it so your out the $2000

You will lose less by spending more on the diamond now and have less chance of having the setting not taking the diamond.

Seems like an easy pick to me.

 

[Superidealist]

You mention that you plan to upgrade either the diamond or the setting at some point. If you haven't already, you may want to discuss this with your intended since she may not want to replace her "real" engagement ring with an upgrade.

If she wants to upgrade, I agree with most of the previous posters. Spend on the diamond, save on the setting.

If she doesn't want to upgrade, get her the setting she wants - assuming you don't have to sacrifice too much on the diamond.

I think that people on a budget who don't intend to upgrade should consider saving on the diamond and spending on the setting, especially once the diamond gets above a certain size. Above a certain size, the extra money spent on the diamond won't be nearly as noticable as the extra money spent on the setting.

 

[bling]

hmm..i think ill have to agree with Al on this one. You might need to think if you will be able to upgrade to a larger stone in the future and still keep the setting that she loves so much. if you upgrade to a larger stone that the setting cannot accomodate, then youll have to put even more money down to get another of the same setting that can take the larger stone. i say, go for the better/larger stone now, and then wait to get the setting of her dreams a little down the road...but that jsut my little ol .02! good luck!

 

[dbgaap]

Ask your girlfriend! If you are concerned about spoiling the surprise, then start with a question about 'how important is the surprise element to you?' Maybe you can have her involved in the decision-making, but then take back the reins, so you can retain some surprise on the presentation of the ring?




If she wants to be involved in the decision-making, you can put the cards on the table and let her decide whether the setting is really the most important thing (which it sounds like from your post).




I recently received my stone (which I LOVE) in a generic Tiffany setting and it was nice. Then it was swapped out into the 'real' setting that arrived a few days later.


Wow, once I had the 'real' setting, the ring went up a gazillion notches in appearance.




I was super involved in the shopping process and I got a diamond in the size I wanted but I went with the lowest acceptable quality to me. That way, I could upgrade the quality some day but it wouldn't need a new setting.


I got a J colored stone with I1 clarity but the cut is pretty good and now I love the stone.




Good luck!

 

[Nicrez]

Selling a stone back without a lifetime upgrade policy is a NIGHTMARE. You don't get the value of the stone. It is NOT as easy to upgrade the stone, as it is to buy the setting later!!

It's like buying the rims, tires, and car paraphenalia BEFORE buying the car you will end up with. A setting will MAKE the look, but the diamond is where the symbolism lie, no? It's adamantine strength and perfection is what people oooh and ahh over. The setting without the diamond is just a ring, but together is WOW! Both are important, but the stone is primary. Note people get upset when their stone falls out of their ring. They don't just want the setting, and you can't wear a diamond without one!

I got my rock with a temp setting. It's like two gifts in one! Get a rock, ooh and ahhh over it, and then, save up and she can get her setting done, so it's an ongoing process that she will be excited for...

You can always say that I used my money to get you the absolute best my saving could buy. And once we replenish the savings, you can have the ring of your dreams. Will you settle for just a phenomenal stone and the man of your dreams?

SOmehow, I don't think she'll be too upset...

 

[Cinemafreak]

This is the closest I could find to match the setting she loved. The only difference are the prongs for the side diamonds where bars. I was thinking of a 1.01 to 1.06 center diamond. All the diamonds are round cuts. I love it also since it kind of flows up in size to the big one in the middle and the band can be worn solo and still look good. Does this change anyone's thoughts?

I am going to lunch today and will try to ask her opinion on Diamond or setting, but just in case it does not present itself I would still like more opinions!

 

[Hest88]

Get the stone and put it in a cheap, temporary setting. Then you'll have time to save up for the real set or, since the guy is not obligated to purchase her wedding ring in the same way, the two of you can help pay for the set together.

 

[Judi W]

I agree with those who say to get an inexpensive "temporary" setting and then replacing it with one that she can help pick out. Once you do replace it, she can keep the original "temporary" one and maybe have a CZ or gemstone put in it.... for a sentimental keepsake....

 

[icelady]

Hi Cinemafreak,

My opinion is that you spend the money on THE diamond of your/her dreams and have it set in a temporary setting. As was mentioned before (and my past experience tells me) you will NEVER get the same $$$ you put into the stone unless you have a 100% upgrade agreement with the vendor from whom you buy the stone.

You can save the pics you have of her dream setting and maybe have it made later. It might even cost less to have it custom made.

I personally am more sentimental about having my original stone than about the setting. But that is me!

It never hurts to ask your future fiance what is most important to her!

 

[Cinemafreak]

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On 4/23/2004 10:17:34 PM Judi W wrote:

I agree with those who say to get an inexpensive 'temporary' setting and then replacing it with one that she can help pick out. Once you do replace it, she can keep the original 'temporary' one and maybe have a CZ or gemstone put in it.... for a sentimental keepsake....

----------------

Thanks for all the replies. I think my budget, $5000.00, does not allow me to get the diamond I would like to give to her for life. I also talked to her and she loves the setting and feels stongly about it. Right now I have talked to a store on Wabash in Chicago who can do the setting, only the engagement ring(see shot above), for $1000.00 in white gold and a nice .90 G VS1 Polish Ex and Sym EX. GIA cert for around $4200. Sorry, but I forgot the depth and table. I am also in a time crunch as we are leaving, May 6th, for our vacation to Paris and London. So right now I am leaning towards getting the setting and the smaller diamond. If I have to I can always go the other way.



Judi W,

I see that you are with WhiteFlash which I looked at for my diamond and setting. I was impressed with your site. Is the setting something you can do? Maybe with a diamond better than the one above? Can it be done by the 6th?


Thanks!

 

[wallace]

Hi CF, THat's whay I wanted to know what the stone size difference was - if the difference is .10ct then don't worry about it with that setting! You can keep that setting and get the full carat later! And as it is, .90ct is lovely size, you save a lot by getting jsut under a carat, and you're looking at a fantastic clarity! It should be a lovely ring and if the one she wants - get it done! Best wishes and have a lovely wedding trip! Don't forget the pics when you get back!

 

[Judi W]

Judi W,

I see that you are with WhiteFlash which I looked at for my diamond and setting. I was impressed with your site. Is the setting something you can do? Maybe with a diamond better than the one above? Can it be done by the 6th?


Thanks!----------------[/quote]


CF....call us in the morning to discuss