Sending thank you cards to family members?

[Laila619]

So I''m curious...when it comes to family, do you send thank you cards? Do you send them to your MIL and FIL? Grandparents? Parents? Or is it not necessary? I''m trying to decide if I need to send one to my in-laws for a birthday gift they gave me. My husband says I don''t need to send them one, and that they would think it''s weird since we''re family now. Do you send thank yous to family members and in-laws? Is a verbal thank you good enough?

Thanks.

 

[marcy]

I would send them a thank you note.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/25/2010 11:42:15 PM
Author:Laila619
So I'm curious...when it comes to family, do you send thank you cards? Do you send them to your MIL and FIL? Grandparents? Parents? Or is it not necessary? I'm trying to decide if I need to send one to my in-laws for a birthday gift they gave me. My husband says I don't need to send them one, and that they would think it's weird since we're family now. Do you send thank yous to family members and in-laws? Is a verbal thank you good enough?

Thanks.

For what you describe I think a verbal thank you is much more appropriate. It implies that you consider them to be close family and so might actually be a gesture that brings you closer. Sending a card implies they are distant enough to require a card -- like an aunt -- and perhaps it would make them feel like you hold them at a distance.

The only exception would be if you do not feel comfortable expressing affection to them and so you buy a card and write some heartfelt comments in it. Then I think it would be a gesture to bring you closer together

As an aside, I come from a family where we rarely send cards and dont buy greetings with ready written things, if we send a card it is blank with a long hand written note of love or affection. My in laws always send ready written cards and just sign their names. I thought this was very odd until I learned that my MIL spends a loooong time picking out the card with the perfect sentiment in it because she is not comfortable expressing things verbally. So now I take her cards very seriously as a valid sign of her feelings! The recent birthday card was very sweet and I made sure to display it on the mantle when she visited and I know that meant a lot to her -- she made a point of noticing it and talking about it so I was glad I made the effort when my natural inclination is to throw cards away unless they are hand written! So I guess my point is that with the in laws it is best to take their cue about what is normal in their family and follow suit. The goal in my mind ith in laws is to always make them feel accepted and appreciated, since many MILs, especially of boys, can be a little insecure about their daughter in law's regard.

More than you probably wanted, but that is my 2c.

 

[VRBeauty]

My family never did... I think my SILs were appalled when they joined the family! Now we do....mostly!

ETA Dreamer -- what a nice little aside about your family! Just goes to show that we have to be careful to read into other people's intentions when they don't do things the way we expect them to...

 

[swingirl]

My 95 year old MIL hand writes thank yous all the time--for dinners, parties, visits, gifts. It''s nice to see her handwriting on a card. In our family it''s appreciated but not everyone is a writer. But who doesn''t enjoy receiving a hand written thank you through the mail?

 

[gemgirl]

I would send everyone a thank you card. A few sweet well worded sentences go a long way. A nice little note written on pretty card stock is always appropriate. I was just in the hospital for an emergency situation and friends had flowers delivered, some brought real and silk plants to the house, and I got things like bird houses and invitations to spend time at a couple''s lake house. I''m sending everyone a nice thank you. Hallmark has some pretty nice boxed blank note cards.

Turning it around, I have always enjoyed receiving a beautiful hand written thank you from friends. It shows that someone cared to take the time to write a few words from the heart.

 

[elrohwen]

I don''t send our parents thank you notes (not the MIL either) because we always call and thank them, or they give gifts in person. I feel that thank you notes are a bit formal for the relationship we have with our parents, but wouldn''t be out of place in other people''s relationships, if that makes sense.

I do send them to grandparents, aunts, and uncles, because we don''t generally talk to them or see them.

 

[sctsbride09]

I send thank you cards to everyone, including both our parents, so I would say yes. Even if it seems formal, its still a lovely gesture.

 

[Peepa]

I think sending thank you cards is always a classy thing to do.

 

[marcy]

An bit of irony in my DH family - he and his siblings were never required to send out thank you notes so none of them do as adults. His parents and grandmother though are the first to complain if they don''t get a thank you note in a timely manner.

I was raised to send everyone a thank you and still do.

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 6/26/2010 8:23:28 AM
Author: elrohwen
I don''t send our parents thank you notes (not the MIL either) because we always call and thank them, or they give gifts in person. I feel that thank you notes are a bit formal for the relationship we have with our parents, but wouldn''t be out of place in other people''s relationships, if that makes sense.


I do send them to grandparents, aunts, and uncles, because we don''t generally talk to them or see them.

Elro -- I think you and I were both raised in Holland? Maybe it''s a cultural thing?

 

[Luckyeshe]

I think it''s always nice to send a handwritten thank you note or card to someone as well as verbally saying it. I think writing is a dying art so it''s just that more special when a person gets a card in the mail since most of the time there''s only junk mail or bills are in the mailbox.

 

[Haven]

We send thank you cards to everyone. If we receive a gift in the mail I''ll usually call the gift-giver to thank them as soon as we receive the gift (if it''s a close family member or friend) and then I send a card, as well.