Second Spouse at the office?

[bar01]

"The ''office spouses'' can be more open with each other than they can with their own spouses, and there''s no guilt involved"

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[Mara]

hehe i had an office spouse at my last job, a guy and i became good friends, we were in the same team/department, about the same age, we liked the same stuff and had somewhat similar personalities, so i brought him into my circle of friends and now he's part of our 'group'. we used to go lunch almost daily and hang out on the weekends with the other friends etc. everyone thought we were dating of course because we hung out so much and there were tons of rumors about us, sooo silly!!!

the funny thing is that times i would be like gosh, mike is like my 2nd boyfriend! but i was soo not interested in him romantically regardless of if i had been with someone (I was) or single....he and i would FIGHT like sister and brother sometimes, he is a very volatile personality and i thought often that if we had been dating we would have killed each other a long time ago! but as office spouses or similar, we worked out great, we could hang out and dish about work and other people but we didn't have to see each other any more than that!

we both left the company at the same time when our group was dissolved and he and i actually ended up competing against each other for a job at our old company's largest competitor...i decided i didn't want the gig to do the 'same ole' and made a slight career change, and he ended up getting the job we were going for...his boss called me the day he offered and told me that mike was a better fit for this particular position, but he wanted me to stay in touch since he definitely wanted to bring me into the group at some point too so we could be a team again etc. i said thanks so much but i'm doing something else now!

greg was never bothered by the relationship that mike and i had and i would never have shared things with mike that i didn't share or felt i couldn't share with greg...and since we all knew each other it just wasn't a big deal at all.

anyway, we are still good friends because we are still in the same 'friend group' of 10-12 people (including SO's and spouses), but we have never been as close as we were originally at the office for those 2 years! funny because we only see each other mostly at group outings now and sometimes the time we spent together seems soooo far away and in another life!

 

[moon river]

There was an old episode of ''The King of Queens'' dealing with this. It was the first I''d heard of the phrase. It shows how ''wrong'' the situation can go, in a funny way.

 

[eks6426]

I had a 2nd spouse at my job. We were in different departments but worked on projects together. Had a lot in common, got along amazingly well and used each other as sounding boards for work & home issues. Another co-worker turned us in for creating a "hostile" work environment. The co-worker felt our friendship that didn''t include him made him feel like an outsider and this was a "hostile" environment. Funny thing is the guy who turned us in had nothing to do with our projects...he was a subordinate of my friend. My friend and I were both hauled down to HR separately and we were told we were no longer allowed to do any project meetings unless it involved other people. So, we expanded the group to include a 3rd person who became a good friend too. Same guy turned all 3 of us in the next time. My friend was more or less asked to leave.

I''m really careful now. I honestly don''t make friends at work anymore. I''m very weary to even chat a little bit about personal stuff. I work in the same area as the guy who turned me in twice. My coworkers now see me as slightly snobby because I don''t socialize with them but after being hauled to HR twice for nothing I''m not taking any chances.

 

[kaylagee]

As an at-home mom, for me this isn't the most appealing of ideas. lol

and

@ the short-skirted hoochie in the illustration. it looks like she's sitting on his desk, right? tacky!

 

[icefisher]

Maybe she''s just explaining that he needs to do a better job of picking up his socks.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 2/2/2006 5:50:57 PM
Author: kaylagee
As an at-home mom, for me this isn''t the most appealing of ideas. lol

and

@ the short-skirted hoochie in the illustration. it looks like she''s sitting on his desk, right? tacky!

ROFL! I thought the same thing when I looked at the picture!

 

[sunkist]

Ha! MoonRiver, I remember that King of Queens episode. That''s a cute show. Did you see the one also where she sold her engagement ring? That one makes me think of something that would be here on PS!

But anyways, I agree that it''s great to have a person at work that you get along really well with and can work well with as well. And if it''s a guy friend that''s cool too, because personally I seem to have better relationships with guy friends rather than girl friends. That''s just how it''s been for me. But WHY do people have to call it your work spouse!?? I just think it sounds horrible. A spouse is your husband or wife. If my BF (or future hubby) called anyone at work his "spouse" I''d be jealous just that he referred to anyone else by that name. It''s my name

Not just something he can randomly assign to a person at work.

And I still can''t believe this quote from the article - "The ''office spouses'' can be more open with each other than they can with their own spouses, and there''s no guilt involved." No wonder so many marriages around the world on the rocks. That explains a lot of it right there

 

[moon river]

Sunkist, I saw that episode about the e-ring. I kept thinking ''SHOW A CLOSEUP''

It does make you think about trading up. You can''t recreate the past.

It was hilarious how Doug tried to make Deacon his ''work wife''

I love that show!!

 

[IrishEyes]

Ha ha, this is too funny! I have a work spouse right now, however I hate the idea of calling him a "spouse". I really just think of him as my closest work friend. We are both alot alike - strong personalities, opinionated, political, etc. We actually refer to ourselves as birthday buddies because we share the same birthday, although he''s a few years older. But I"m married, he''s almost engaged, and like Mara said, I wouldn''t ever say something to him that I can''t say to my husband. The guy at work, he''s attractive and just a plain old good guy. But nothing would ever happen romantically, even if I wasn''t married. So I think that article has some truths, but many false ideas to it........

 

[Richard2006]

Irish Eyes-

And to anyone else who feels that they may have an office spouse, I am working on a piece for CNN about this concept. We are making a light-hearted piece detailing the benefits of having such a relationship in the workplace. Irisheyes, or anyone else who might have an office spouse wouldn''t mind contacting me to speak further about your current situations, I would really appreciate talking to you.

Thank you,
Richard Morris
[email protected] (for fear of bombarding my work email account, I created this to filter messages. You will receive a reply from my work email.)

 

[tiger007g]

No office spouse, but I have a gay best friend... kind of the same concept?