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nytemist

nytemist

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2005
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I know it''s a week away and late to be asking this question, but...

How do you all feel about not doing a seating plan? Since we just gave our estimate for the number of guests we''ll have, my Fi and his mom don''t think doing a seating plan is really needed. It is a buffet dinner and I want people to mingle. I just worry that it will look like highschoolers at lunch time, dashing to sit at a table with their friends and not introducing themselves to other people. I just wonder what is your opinion? At worst I can see no one wanting to sit with my mother.
 
i think not having one will be fine. they''re grown ups and can find themsleves somewhere to sit. we''re having food stations and not having a seating chart.
 
I had about 75 people and a buffet and my wedding and did not do seating charts. It worked just fine. We had more tables set than we would have needed if we did seat assignments. That way people weren''t forced to be the last couple at a table full of people they didn''t know. It gave us some empty chairs at a few of the tables, but a lot more flexibility.
 
Personally, I think a seating chart is necessary. Otherwise it''s people putting their bags down and other people moving them and others ending up having to drag chairs to sit with whom they want.

It''s always been so chaotic and never comfortable for me as a guest when there was no assigned seating...
 
I''m not planning on assigned seating but mine is more heavy hordourves then dinner. I''ll have seats reserved for the parents and bridal party, but only because I''ve been asked to. A quote from his mom... "The old people need to have somewhere to sit!" and one of my bridesmaids has fatigue issues as well.

I am planning on doing a variety of table sizes so that people don''t feel obligated to complete a table for 10. I know that it can be awkward to make sure all the tables are filled and everybody is happy. That''s where a seating chart comes in handy, but really, I don''t think it''s the end of the world if you don''t have one. Just make sure the servers are good about clearing an empty place so people can rotate if they want to. I think, for us, we can''t possibly have as many chairs as people, so I''m definitely going to be emphasizing how I want plates cleared when empty.
 
nytemist, I am wondering the same thing. Our reception is on a riverboat with two levels, so I wanted to do a seating chart, but am wondering if people would rather just pick where they want to sit. And of course, FI just says to let people sit wherever.... ugh. So I''m curious as to what people think too.
 
Neither of my kids had seating charts when they got married. Both had 200+ at the receptions. There was no problem at all.
 
I have seen problems where seating charts weren''t used. The biggest problem (at a 200 person wedding) was that odd numbers would agree to sit at a table of 8. Then 1 seat was left over at several tables, causing couples to have to split up for dinner, which I thought was totally inappropriate.

A seating chart could''ve prevented this from happening. Just something I witnessed at a wedding before.
 
I was just wondering how it would look, or how awkward it would be. All the weddings I''ve ever been to, and there have been plenty, I''ve never seen one without seating arragnments. But our guest list is so small, we''re looking at 33 from the original list of 50 invited. Majority are couples. Two of my BM''s are single, the other married. My friend doing our announcing is engaged, but his Fi can''t come. The aunts that are coming and my mom are all widowed. I suppose I could make a chart, but have the feeling someone will feel like they would rather sit with other people.
 
well, of all the weddings i''ve been to, i''ve never been to one with a seating chart and everything has always been fine. i think it''s a regional thing.
 
Date: 10/23/2006 12:20:23 PM
Author: jcrow
well, of all the weddings i''ve been to, i''ve never been to one with a seating chart and everything has always been fine. i think it''s a regional thing.
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I agree with Jcrow ~ I think it is a regional thing. I''ve only been to two weddings where there were seating charts; one was in PA, the other in St. Louis. All of the other weddings I have been to were in the South, and none had seating charts. I''ve honestly never had a problem at a wedding without a seating chart.
 
Ok, thanks everyone! I guess I''m just needlessly worried people socializing and having a good time.

I think I''m developing a slight case of anxioous bride. As long as I don''t develop bridezilla.
 
I think you should be fine with such a small number. If there is room to set up an extra table or 2 like IslandDreams wedding it could avoid potential seating problems by having more than enough seating. Also allows for open seats at the tables for people to table hop and mingle.
 
Date: 10/23/2006 1:01:34 PM
Author: nytemist
Ok, thanks everyone! I guess I''m just needlessly worried people socializing and having a good time.

I think I''m developing a slight case of anxioous bride. As long as I don''t develop bridezilla.
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With just 8 days to go, I think you''re going to be ok!!! Hang in there!
 
Of the two back to back weddings I went to this summer one had no seating chart and the other had assigned tables but not seats. I much prefered the latter. We could sit next to the people at the table we prefered to talk to, and had a great time talking to everyone at the table. At the other wedding we felt very awkward and like we were imposing when we sat next to a group of people. We spent more of our time alone than we would have if we had an assigned table even if we hadn''t previously known the people at the assigned table.
 
The wedding I went to w/o a seating chart was EXACTLY like lunch in highschool with people not only dashing to seats but saving seats for other people. It was horrible. My DH was in the wedding party so I was kind of hanging out with the other GF/DW of the wedding party and though we did find seats together it was stressful!
 
I did not create a seating chart for my wedding, we had 28 guests that all sat at the same table so it didn''t really matter. BUT at larger weddings I am not at all a fan of being a guest who is told where to sit. At every party I''ve attended where there are seating charts people move around, move other people around, etc. It''s just a big headache and I don''t see the value in spending hours in figuring out if Aunt Betty will get along with Aunt Martha.
 
Personally I am having a seating chart (with assigned table # only, not individual seats- ) and we are expecting around 100.
only because as a guest I have been so perturbed with the "saving seats" and rush for tables,etc.

However, with your guest list size it seems fine to not have one, but I would then make sure there were some extra tables,etc.

I understand how it makes for stress to put a seating chart together, wondering who doesn''t get along with who, etc.
but for us everyone gets along, no family dramas etc.

I think as a compromise I am going to do assigned tables with 8 at a table, but leave two chairs blank (our tables are for 10)
that way, when folks want to get up and mingle with others they have somewhere to sit and can even change tables if they want. At least their "stuff" will have a home when they get there (purse, etc.)

If it gives you too much stress I would say don''t bother.....
And may I say- I envy your wedding size!
 
We did a buffet but did have seating arrangements. The reason we did was because we were having a lot of guests, and didn''t want to end up with a single empty seat here and there at each table, and nowhere for a couple to sit because there were random single empty chairs. Arranging everyone allows all the tables and seating to be used efficiently.
 
Just to clarify, I do mean assigning tables, not individual seats. That would be a big headache.
 
I dunno.. My best friend didn''t have one.. and I was in the wedding party, but I sort of thought it was awkward for guests.. They had to be like "Do you mind if we sit here?" Like kids at the lunchroom or on the bus.. ICK..

She had a few tables reserved for families and then one for her co-workers.. but everyone else had to fend for themselves. It was odd..

That was the ONLY wedding I have been to that there was NOT a seating chart. Hmm.. maybe my sister didn''t have them either.. but she had the food stations.. so that is a bit of a different atmosphere.. I don''t even think my sister had a head table or even a special table for her and her husband..

Everyone else''s wedding,buffet or sit down had seating arranged. It was a NECESSITY at my wedding, because there was seating upstairs and downstairs and no one EVER would have gone upstairs if there were not assigned to go up there..
 
Date: 10/23/2006 4:47:22 PM
Author: nytemist
Just to clarify, I do mean assigning tables, not individual seats. That would be a big headache.
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Oh, thank goodness!
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That is FINE!!!! I have never been to a wedding with assigned seats just assigned tables. We just assigned table numbers (expect for the head table and had each name card per seat).
 
Oh.. with only 33 people I don''t think you really need to do seating arrangements..I did not realize you had such a small number.. But I''d say 75 or more people a seating chart would be helpful.
 
I really hate wedding where there isn''t any kind of seating direction...excatly like MS said, its that awkard can we sit here lunchtime schoolbus weirdness...it always ended up being chaotic before dinner as everyone rushes around trying to find enough seats to sit together. I like it best when they assign a table number, but not seat. However with just 33 guests, this may not be a problem for you so thats one lesss thing to worry about!
 
With only 33 guests, I wouldn''t bother. With bigger dinners, it''s almost mandatory where I am. It is a headache, but you seat people who don''t get along apart from each other, etc.. As a guest, I have never been to a wedding without assigned tables. I would imagine it would be very awkward and uncomfortable if it was a free for all. I hate company x-mas parties that are like this. At least you hope the bride will place you at a table where you might have something in common with the other folks. It is a pain doing table assignments, but I think it may help guests enjoy themselves more if the bride seats people appropriately. Can you imagine Grandma Betty sitting next to best friend biker Bob? Probably not much conversation likely to happen there. Well, unless she''s a biker too
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I agree that a seating chart probably isn''t necessary for 33 guests. More importanly, at least you are thinking about this a week out. If you decided to do a seating chart then you still have time to do so without a lot of stress. When one of my BFs got married she thought about the seating chart the night before the wedding after the rehearsal dinner and was STILL working on it 2 hours before the wedding! I wanted to strangle her....
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Just assigning numbers is probably a good idea. Assigning individual places sounds like a nightmare!
 
I didn''t realize you were only have 33 people. We had about 50 at our RD and my MIL printed up lists (ex. Table 1...then a list of names) and framed them. I thought that worked well.
 
I''ve never been to a wedding where individual seats at every table were assigned!!! Just table numbers.
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Date: 10/25/2006 2:11:28 PM
Author: FireGoddess
I''ve never been to a wedding where individual seats at every table were assigned!!! Just table numbers.
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Ditto!
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