School taking a toll!

[MrsRogers]

So, I don''t post here too often and I apologise if this becomes lengthy, but I am in desperate need of some opinions/advice. I am currently attending a college on the west coast and my field of study is in the area of health sciences. I can''t explain it, but this quarter just hasn''t felt right for me. I completely understand that school was never meant to be easy, and I felt that I was more than prepared for the workload, but I just feel like everything is crashing down around me at present. To top things off, my husband and I have just bought a house and while this is meant to be an exciting time for us, it has been nothing but an added pressure ontop of my already demanding school schedule. Part of me keeps telling myself to buck up and take it on the chin.. deal with the fact that school is meant to be hard and live with the stress. On the other hand I keep telling myself "why stress out so much over school. if you feel that it''s not right for you, find something that is and move on". I honestly believed this was just a phase I was going through, but after much thought I really don''t feel that a 4 year institution is working for me. To take my mind off of things, I have been perusing the courses that some of the local community colleges have to offer as I have heard they can be fun, and in some cases far less serious/strenuous. I found a Graphic Design certificate program which is completely on the other end of the spectrum from any health science, but I do have an interest in digital photography and I love to paint (I do both as a hobby and have never taken them that seriously). Would it be ridiculous to leave the 4 year institution I am currently attending to pursue something that has been nothing more than a hobby?

I am really just looking for some advice/opinions.

Thanks

 

[Sabine]

Hmmm...before I can offer any advice, I have a slew of questions. How much time/money have you already invested into this 4 year program? Are you in decent financial shape so that you won''t need to find a high-paying job any time in the near future? When you see yourself finishing school, are you interested in a life-long career, or just a job to help out financially and keep you occupied? Are their kids in the near future?

And most importantly...does any part of your heart tell you that while school may not be what you are meant for, something in the health services field is? If so, I would tough out the program because it will be good to have it as an option you can explore even if you don''t use the degree right away. You know, to keep away the what if''s...

Finally, you may want to ask to sit in on one of the community college courses to see what they''re like. If you are not enjoying school, that may apply to all school, not just the one you''re at now. But then again, you could sit in a class and realize, YES, this is what I should be doing!

 

[Skippy123]

What are you studying? How much longer until you graduate? I guess I have more questions before I feel like I can give you a good answer. Let me tell you how many times I felt like quitting; you will feel pretty good when you finish and the hard work is worth it.

 

[Hera]

I don't know your current situation, but how about going to school part time and getting employment. That may ease the burden of the mortgage payment. You also could take some of your lower division classes at the community college as they have online classes. I really don't think you should leave the 4 year institution all together, but maybe some modifications would help. Also, if you think you would like Graphic Design, maybe you may want to consider changing your major to Graphic Design at your school. I'm a little wary of certificates and such, especially if they are online.

 

[gailrmv]

well without knowing the whole story it is hard to say, but I think that not having a 4 year (bachelors) degree is going to hurt your career options in the future. I would stick it out and get that degree! If you are not enjoying your classes at all, maybe think about changing majors. I just think that having the degree will open doors that you will not have otherwise (or at least the degree will make your career path easier). Can you talk to an academic counselor at school? Also, depending on where you are with your course of studies, maybe transfer to the community college to finish up your first two years and then complete the last 2 years at the bigger school. Good luck and I hope things get easier.

 

[Hera]

Also, if you do decide to leave a four year institution, you most likely will have to reapply. At my school, San Diego State Univ, They will pool you with incoming freshman to get back in. Otherwise, You could go completely to a community college and wait until your junior year through a transfer program. This is what is required in many California schools. Please find out from an academic counselor at your school as I am not a counselor. Sometimes there may even be more classes that route.
I don''t know totally about Graphic Design, but from what I hear, a Bachelor''s degree is highly recommended and maybe even essential. For Interior Designers, Many firms will only higher degreed people from an accredited affiliation. I''m a firm believer in doing what you love, so if your heart isn''t in what you''re studying then make a change. In any case, please find out the complete details before or if you decide to make some alterations to your current situation.

 

[Haven]

MrsRogers--I don''t know enough about your particular situation to give you and specific advice, but I do want to chime in and say that college is not for everyone.

I''m an educator, and I see and have seen many students struggle through a four year program that just isn''t right for them. Some people have strengths that lie beyond the realm of higher education, and that is okay. The purpose of college is not for it to be hard, but for it to prepare you for a particular discipline or for future employment, or if you have the luxury of going to school for the sake of going--to simply further your education for the sake of education.

It is very important that you determine whether this four-year degree that you are currently pursuing is right for you, and if it''s not, there is no shame in leaving school. The only shame is in staying there and taking more time away from what you should be doing just because you started the program in the first place.

(For the record--I went to law school before I decided to become an educator, so I know how difficult it is to a) feel like you''re in the wrong place, and b) make the decision to leave this wrong place when you''ve already put a lot of time, effort, and money into getting yourself there. Since I left law school I''ve earned two master''s degrees and forged a career in education, which has been the most fulfilling and satisfying experience of my life. Had I stuck it out in law school just for the sake of finishing I would have wasted precious time, in my opinion.)

Good luck!

 

[Elmorton]

Grrr. When I read your post, I really understood what you''re going through - from both the perspective of a student and an instructor. I teach at a community college, and more so than when I taught at a university, midterm just takes an emotional toll on my students. I think this is because, like you, my community college students juggle more complicated lives than the traditional u-student. Many of my students have responsibilities to work and home that are much more involved. When you''re feeling overwhelmed by all of your responsibilities, it''s only natural to try to figure out what to cut. Family and work give immediate rewards, while school, especially at midterm, doesn''t seem to be providing rewards at all. The light at the end of the tunnel is dim because you have yet to see any real record of your progress or simply because academic progress is a slow moving machine by nature. This is a tough time for students, and unfortunately, I''ve lost several from my classes in the last few weeks. While I respect the choice that some of my students have made to prioritize family or different vocational paths, I think that in most cases, this is a decision that won''t be beneficial in the long-term.

Honestly, I think it sounds like you''re just having a case of the midterm blues. Midterm is a difficult time for all students - even as a grad student, I would nearly crash in October (or late March, it happens in the spring too) and question if I was really making the right choice by being in school (the answer was ALWAYS yes, I was). Every time I felt like there was no way that I could handle the pressure of maintaining my family and academic life, I''d sit down and really try to picture what it is that would make me happy - not now, but in 5 or 10 years. Would I like being a massage therapist better? A stay-at-home mom? A flight attendant? I always returned to the image of being a teacher. Those other fleeting thoughts were just that: fleeting thoughts to distract me from the task at hand.

So, here''s my advice: DO look into this certificate program. Get in contact with the director of the program at your community college and ask to be put in touch with a graduate who is working in the community. Ask some questions, maybe even job-shadow for a day, or make an appointment to do so right when winter break begins.

BUT, don''t abandon your current program, at least not mid-semester - you''ve paid for your classes, and at this point, I don''t know many institutions that will refund. Keep moving in your classes and do your best - don''t put scars on your transcripts, because that WILL close doors. And by all means, register for your spring classes, too, even if you''re not sure you''ll take them. See how your semester ends, talk to your advisor and your family, and make a decision over the break, don''t make one now. I think you''ll find that you''ll have a lot more clarity, strength, and confidence in yourself once finals are over.

Best of luck to you!

 

[MoonWater]

Well I completely understand how you feel. I work full time, take 5 classes, and commute 2.5 hours out of the day. Some times I feel like I''m going completely insane. But I try to take it one week at a time, knowing in the end it will be worth it. I suppose the question for you is if you think it will be worth it. If you have truly lost interest, it may not be a good idea to continue.

 

[MrsRogers]

Thanks to everyone for thoughts/advice/opinions, especially Haven.

I think a part of me just wanted to hear someone say that it''s OK to struggle and that it IS ok if this particular path doesn''t feel right for me. I have talked to many friends, professors, and my family, and tend to get the same response, "Tough it out", "stick with it, things will get better". I have felt for quite some time now that the path I am on is not the right one for me, and while I appreciate everyone in my life wanting to see me succeed, I believe that a much greater success could be had if I was doing something that really felt right and gave me a sense of accomplishment. The constant stress of deadlines, midterms, papers etc is wearing thin. I also feel that my marriage is bearing the brunt of some of these pressures and that''s certainly not something I am prepared to risk. I tend to be an anxious and easily stressed individual anyway, but I am always prepared to give something a go. I feel like I have given this a go and it just happens to be one of those things that isn''t for me.

I sincerely appreciate everyone''s thoughts. It has certainly given me some things to think about, and made me feel like I''m not the only person whose world is slowly caving in.

Thankyou.

 

[Haven]

Oh, no! No cave-ins! Don't let your world cave in over something silly like higher education! (I can say that, damnit, I'm an educator.)

Seriously, though, it is OKAY to feel stressed out, and it is OKAY, nay, it is PROPER and RIGHT and the INTELLIGENT THING TO DO to make decisions that will better your life even if they mean walking away from something that everyone else thinks you should stick to. Perhaps you need some time to take a breather and slow down a bit.

When I was in undergrad we had an emergency dean, and I actually made use of this dean when I found out my father was to undergo serious back surgery that could have been potentially debilitating. I called the dean, we met, I told him my sob story, and he granted me one week off of school free and clear with extra time to complete assignments. I was so upset about my father and I needed to be home, and had I not taken that time for myself I would have probably had some sort of breakdown.

Don't sacrifice the truly important things in your life (family, relationships) for something that you're not quite sure is right for you. You can always go back to school. You will always have the education you've already earned for yourself, nobody can take that away. Take care of yourself first, and then pursue that silly little piece of paper later when you know it's right.

You know what I think you need at a time like this? A window-shopping trip, say, to a jeweler-lined street, with a cup of steaming hot cocoa (smothered in whipped cream) in your hand. That always seems to make me feel better, at least.

ETA: By the way, when I quit law school I dumped the ex, got a fabulous haircut, and got re-certified to be a personal trainer and proceeded to get in the best shape of my life and make very easy money doing something I enjoyed. Since then I've met my current FI, landed my dream job, and gone to graduate school for free (thanks to my employer). I have to say, being a quitter certainly does pay off sometimes! I think when you're happy you tend to attract good things toward you, and perhaps the opposite is true when you're not happy. I can't even begin to describe how drastically (and instantly) my outlook changed when I got out of that silly little law program that just wasn't right for me. All I can say is that it changed, and I couldn't be more grateful that I made that choice. (In fact, I am so proud of myself for walking away from that program and that full-scholarship to law school. It isn't an easy decision to make, MrsR, I know that. But it's an easier life to live once you figure out what you want to do, whether that means sticking it out, or leaving. Take some time to figure out what's best for you, and make yourself proud.)