ulualoha
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2005
- Messages
- 274
HI Everyone...
I woke up today feeling quite glum as I am missing my three kitties today. I lost all of them in the last year...two to cancer, one to an alleged blood clot. I just was feeling bummed and needed to write. If you chose to read my post it''s very long as a warning to you...
Hugs,
ulualoha
In February of 2006 I was told my kitty Timber had mammarian adenocarcinoma- basically breast cancer. I was told she only had a couple months to live. Surprisingly, the first one I lost was Blue Eyes. He died unexpectedly in July. My fiance (now husband) and I came home to my apartment to find him on the floor of my bathroom in the process of dying. His back legs were paralyzed, he had thrown up and was crying. I felt so helpless. My husband tried to clear his throat to make sure he wasn''t choking and my poor baby was in so much pain he dug his claws into his neck. We tried to rush him to the emergency room and I gave him CPR on the way but we were told he did not make it. I was devastated. They thought he threw a blood clot. It didn''t matter, he was gone. I still blame myself for not getting home sooner although the logical part of me realizes there wasn''t much I probably could have done for him anyhow.
During the summer after Blue Eyes had passed away, I noticed my other kitty Noel was vomitting a lot and took her in to the vet. I was told at first that it''s normal for cats to vomit. Well it continued and she started to lose weight. I went back to the vet and they took some xrays. The xrays showed a suspicious area near her heart and they recommended I take her for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed a mass on her heart and the needle biopsy confirmed she had cancer. Again, I was completely devastated. It was terrible. The vet specialist told me the kind of cancer she had had a good prognosis of going into remission. It was encouraging after being told by her main vet that her prognosis was not good and that she would never eat on her own again.
So after doing a ton of research and calling UC Davis Vet school, I decided to bring her to Veterinary Cancer Group to see Dr. Rosenberg, a graduate of their program. We started to do chemo. Noel started to lose weight and early on in her treatment I had to bring her to the emergency room on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve to have her chest tapped as her lungs filled with fluid. She also did not tolerate her treatments well and would vomit the first couple days after her treatments. Again, I was told this was normal. Regardless of these challenges, at each milestone the mass was shrinking so I chose to continue. In January, shortly after I got married, I was told she was in remission but she still needed her chemo treatment. The treatment she needed that day was the harshest of them all. I was concerned because she was so thin but I went forward with the treatment after being told it was in her best interest. That was beginning of the end. She got so sick from that treatment I was never able to bring her back again for more chemo and far worse, she stopped eating on her own. She declined rapidly from there.
In late Jan. she was vomitting violently so I brought her to the oncologist that was working on Saturday and she ran some bloodwork and sent us home. Over the course of the night Noel worsened. I called my friend Sean to go with me to the emergency room the next morning as she was running a terrible fever and I was afraid to drive alone with her being so sick. She went with me and I was told that Noel was so sick she needed to stay over night. The worst part was while we were waiting for an assessment by the emergency room doctor, the oncologist called and told me that Noel was very sick and she was sorry that she had not checked for the blood work results on the fax machine sooner. I was furious because this was not the first time this particular doctor was lazying in her efforts to provide the best care for Noel. I tried to avoid getting her at all costs when I made appointments but usually when something went wrong, it went wrong on the weekend which is when she was there. Anyhow, Noel had to stay overnight in the emergency room. They took such wonderful care of her. I called every hour checking on her and they were always kind and informative of exactly how she was doing. Her fever broke and I in the morning she was discharged to her primary oncologist. I was told, no more chemo. I got to take her home but her will to live was gone. She needed me to syringe feed her (which was terrible because she had gotten to the point where she was eating on her own, contrary to what her normal vet said) and we had to give her fluids to keep her hydrated. She kept losing weight and her quality of life was rapidly deteriorating. I realized the end was near so I took her outside to enjoy the sunshine. She perked up when a bird flew overhead but as much as I wanted more time with her, it became evident it was time to put her down. She was so weak, she could barely walk on her own. I told my husband that we needed to bring her in. The unfortunate thing was that I got stuck with the very oncologist that was so lazy with her care versus one of the other ones that took such good care of her. She could not have been more fake and uncaring during the process of putting her to sleep. It was horrific. I had never put an animal to sleep before so I did not know what to expect and she did not warn me about any of the stages they go through as they pass. On the flip side, the assistants were wonderful. They took patty paw prints of her feet along with ink prints. They allowed me to spend as long as I wanted before putting her to sleep. I was able to take some fur clippings too. That part was very helpful. Noel passed away on February 10th, 2007.
So the last of my furbabies that was sick was Timber. I made the decision when I found her tumor on her tummy to have it removed. That was done in February of 2006 when she was diagnosed. She went tumor free for months. I was so happy! At the time when they did the surgery, I did not understand that a mascetomy would have been the way to go. The vet that did the surgery suggested taking Timber for chemo but after research the type of cancer she had and the reputation of the oncologist, I decided against it. Ironically that would end up being the same oncologist that caused a lag in Noel''s care. Anyhow, I just let Timber be and went on with things. Well shortly after Noel got sick, I found another tumor on Timber''s tummy. So again, I opted for surgery. It appeared to be a successful surgery and I put my focus back on Noel but then I noticed Timber was not quite acting herself by September. I brought her to the vet. The vet told me he did not see anything wrong with her and that she was acting just fine. I requested he do a blood panel on her. The results showed her kidneys were failing. I broke down sobbing..I could hardly believe that she had another thing wrong with her. I was told I would have to give her fluids daily. I am terrible with needles. I tried though but my efforts resulted in me passing out almost in my apartment. So I drove her daily to get fluids at the vet''s office. My fiance again intervened and offered to learn how to give fluids. He started coming over more often (and might I add he lived over an hour away each direction) and gave her fluids. She improved and I was relieved. Again my attention went back to Noel but as time progressed I thought maybe I should try chemo with Timber too, it seemed to be helping Noel. Another driving force for me bringing her in was that the cancer had spread to her lungs and her breathing had worsened. I decided to bring Timber in for a consult. Her treatment would be complicated since she had kidney failure too. But the doctor put together a plan and we started it. She tolerated her first treatment just fine. I had to administer her next treatment at home. That pill she did not handle well at all. All of a sudden she was doing the "I''m hurting" purr and I tried to get help from the doctor''s assistant via the phone and she was no help. Luckily with time she improved and within a couple hours she was back to normal. On her next visit to the oncologist, I saw a different doctor and told her that Timber was not tolerating the treatment plan very well. She decided to switch Timber''s treatment plan. This new medication Timber tolerated very well and her breathing rapidly started to improve. I decided to continue with the treatment. So every week I had to leave work early on Monday to drive home and pick up both girls and bring them to the doctor. I had to bring a kitty box in the car for Timber since she had bad kidney functions and our trip to the oncologist usually took all afternoon with traffic and the treatment. To figure out she needed the kitty box was a terrible lesson to have to go through. One week I only had to bring her in to get a treatment and on my way there she started to freak out in her carrier, biting and scratching it. I thought she was dying and I was stuck in traffic. It was terrible. I was on the phone with the oncologists office and ended up taking a wrong turn and got lost. Long story short, I got her there...and they were waiting with oxygen and took her in the back. I prepared myself for the worst but as soon as she was out of her carrier she was ok and purring...but she had an accident in the carrier. I was told that I should use lavendar while in the car to keep her calm...we could not use valium because it might relax her lungs too much and she might not be able to breathe with the cancer in her lungs. On my way home that day, she freaked out again. I let her out and again, she had another accident. It became clear that she could not hold her bladder for a longer period of time anymore. So therefore, I brought a litter box anytime we went in the car and I bought her a softsided carrier instead of putting her in the hardsided container she hated. It was so sad to me as Timber was Noel''s mom. Something just seemed so wrong with the whole thing. I continued Timber''s treatment faithfully until I was told I only needed to bring her every few weeks.
We had one scare in the early spring where she woke us up wailing on the top of her lungs and we rushed her to the ER only to be told by the doctors that they can''t find anything wrong with her other than the obvious- cancer. The only other time she wailed like that again was the night of Noel''s death. In fact for a few days she just did not want to be left alone...she would claw us to keep us awake and by her side. Slowly she started to feel better.
By this summer her breathing had started to worsen again and I found a couple more tumors. Regardless she was acting ok, still eating and still tolerating receiving her fluids ok although we had cut back on the frequency. By early to mid July though I noticed she was losing weight and wasn''t eating very well. I assumed it was the cancer but decided to bring her to the normal vet. I requested a blood panel and her kidney functions were terrible. I was told to start giving her fluids daily- 200 ml. A lot of my small kitty but we did it and within a couple days she was eating again. She seemed stable but her eating slowed down again. I went and bought TJ''s tuna for kitties and she started eating again. The downside to feeding her tuna was that it was bad for her kidneys but she wouldn''t eat anything at all. The trick worked for a few weeks but then again, she stopped eating. The challenge with her not eating at all meant that she would not eat her pill pockets either which meant I had to "pill" her. By early August she had declined rapidly.
On August 8 I had to go in for a biopsy. I had spent the night before cuddling with Timber on the sofa and she slept next to me there the whole night. The morning of the procedure she all of a sudden had what seemed to be a slight problem breathing but it passed before I left and my husband was with her. When I got back she was doing ok so I opted to spend the day with her. Towards the end of the day I had to leave to run an errand and when I returned, I found her on the floor of the master bathroom panting. I tried to help her get up and she couldn''t. I panicked and tried to call an in home euthanasia company but none could be there for hours. When I got back to the bedroom, she was fine and up and walking around. By that point my husband had arrived home from work. I took Timber into her favorite room and sat and watched her for a little while and she seemed ok. I asked my husband to come sketch a picture of her like he had done before Noel was put to sleep. When he finished the picture, she seemed quite irritated and started having trouble breathing. I brushed her one last time and told my husband that is was time. We took her in the car and she started breathing worse and worse on the way to the emergency room. When we got there they set her up with a beautiful and soft red blanket and let us have a few moments with her...actually they probably would have let us have as long as we wanted but she was really bad now so I told them it was time. The doctor came in and said we were doing the right thing, in the kindest way you can say something like that. She gave Timber the first injection and that was all it took...she passed. It was very peaceful unlike when Noel passed. We spent time with her and took patty paw prints of her feet and ink prints of her feet. They did not rush us and were very kind to us. I was tremendously grateful.
So now our kitty furball family is down from 5 furbabies to 2 kitty furbabies along with our dog and 2 birds. It''s weird and kind of lonely now and we miss the other kids terribly all the time. In the grand scheme of things though, we are so grateful we had them in our lives as long as we did. They brought us so much joy every day. Thank you for taking the time to read about my angel furbabies.
I just needed to let some feelings out...I am missing them terribly today.
Hugs,
ulualoha
I woke up today feeling quite glum as I am missing my three kitties today. I lost all of them in the last year...two to cancer, one to an alleged blood clot. I just was feeling bummed and needed to write. If you chose to read my post it''s very long as a warning to you...
Hugs,
ulualoha
In February of 2006 I was told my kitty Timber had mammarian adenocarcinoma- basically breast cancer. I was told she only had a couple months to live. Surprisingly, the first one I lost was Blue Eyes. He died unexpectedly in July. My fiance (now husband) and I came home to my apartment to find him on the floor of my bathroom in the process of dying. His back legs were paralyzed, he had thrown up and was crying. I felt so helpless. My husband tried to clear his throat to make sure he wasn''t choking and my poor baby was in so much pain he dug his claws into his neck. We tried to rush him to the emergency room and I gave him CPR on the way but we were told he did not make it. I was devastated. They thought he threw a blood clot. It didn''t matter, he was gone. I still blame myself for not getting home sooner although the logical part of me realizes there wasn''t much I probably could have done for him anyhow.
During the summer after Blue Eyes had passed away, I noticed my other kitty Noel was vomitting a lot and took her in to the vet. I was told at first that it''s normal for cats to vomit. Well it continued and she started to lose weight. I went back to the vet and they took some xrays. The xrays showed a suspicious area near her heart and they recommended I take her for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed a mass on her heart and the needle biopsy confirmed she had cancer. Again, I was completely devastated. It was terrible. The vet specialist told me the kind of cancer she had had a good prognosis of going into remission. It was encouraging after being told by her main vet that her prognosis was not good and that she would never eat on her own again.
So after doing a ton of research and calling UC Davis Vet school, I decided to bring her to Veterinary Cancer Group to see Dr. Rosenberg, a graduate of their program. We started to do chemo. Noel started to lose weight and early on in her treatment I had to bring her to the emergency room on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve to have her chest tapped as her lungs filled with fluid. She also did not tolerate her treatments well and would vomit the first couple days after her treatments. Again, I was told this was normal. Regardless of these challenges, at each milestone the mass was shrinking so I chose to continue. In January, shortly after I got married, I was told she was in remission but she still needed her chemo treatment. The treatment she needed that day was the harshest of them all. I was concerned because she was so thin but I went forward with the treatment after being told it was in her best interest. That was beginning of the end. She got so sick from that treatment I was never able to bring her back again for more chemo and far worse, she stopped eating on her own. She declined rapidly from there.
In late Jan. she was vomitting violently so I brought her to the oncologist that was working on Saturday and she ran some bloodwork and sent us home. Over the course of the night Noel worsened. I called my friend Sean to go with me to the emergency room the next morning as she was running a terrible fever and I was afraid to drive alone with her being so sick. She went with me and I was told that Noel was so sick she needed to stay over night. The worst part was while we were waiting for an assessment by the emergency room doctor, the oncologist called and told me that Noel was very sick and she was sorry that she had not checked for the blood work results on the fax machine sooner. I was furious because this was not the first time this particular doctor was lazying in her efforts to provide the best care for Noel. I tried to avoid getting her at all costs when I made appointments but usually when something went wrong, it went wrong on the weekend which is when she was there. Anyhow, Noel had to stay overnight in the emergency room. They took such wonderful care of her. I called every hour checking on her and they were always kind and informative of exactly how she was doing. Her fever broke and I in the morning she was discharged to her primary oncologist. I was told, no more chemo. I got to take her home but her will to live was gone. She needed me to syringe feed her (which was terrible because she had gotten to the point where she was eating on her own, contrary to what her normal vet said) and we had to give her fluids to keep her hydrated. She kept losing weight and her quality of life was rapidly deteriorating. I realized the end was near so I took her outside to enjoy the sunshine. She perked up when a bird flew overhead but as much as I wanted more time with her, it became evident it was time to put her down. She was so weak, she could barely walk on her own. I told my husband that we needed to bring her in. The unfortunate thing was that I got stuck with the very oncologist that was so lazy with her care versus one of the other ones that took such good care of her. She could not have been more fake and uncaring during the process of putting her to sleep. It was horrific. I had never put an animal to sleep before so I did not know what to expect and she did not warn me about any of the stages they go through as they pass. On the flip side, the assistants were wonderful. They took patty paw prints of her feet along with ink prints. They allowed me to spend as long as I wanted before putting her to sleep. I was able to take some fur clippings too. That part was very helpful. Noel passed away on February 10th, 2007.
So the last of my furbabies that was sick was Timber. I made the decision when I found her tumor on her tummy to have it removed. That was done in February of 2006 when she was diagnosed. She went tumor free for months. I was so happy! At the time when they did the surgery, I did not understand that a mascetomy would have been the way to go. The vet that did the surgery suggested taking Timber for chemo but after research the type of cancer she had and the reputation of the oncologist, I decided against it. Ironically that would end up being the same oncologist that caused a lag in Noel''s care. Anyhow, I just let Timber be and went on with things. Well shortly after Noel got sick, I found another tumor on Timber''s tummy. So again, I opted for surgery. It appeared to be a successful surgery and I put my focus back on Noel but then I noticed Timber was not quite acting herself by September. I brought her to the vet. The vet told me he did not see anything wrong with her and that she was acting just fine. I requested he do a blood panel on her. The results showed her kidneys were failing. I broke down sobbing..I could hardly believe that she had another thing wrong with her. I was told I would have to give her fluids daily. I am terrible with needles. I tried though but my efforts resulted in me passing out almost in my apartment. So I drove her daily to get fluids at the vet''s office. My fiance again intervened and offered to learn how to give fluids. He started coming over more often (and might I add he lived over an hour away each direction) and gave her fluids. She improved and I was relieved. Again my attention went back to Noel but as time progressed I thought maybe I should try chemo with Timber too, it seemed to be helping Noel. Another driving force for me bringing her in was that the cancer had spread to her lungs and her breathing had worsened. I decided to bring Timber in for a consult. Her treatment would be complicated since she had kidney failure too. But the doctor put together a plan and we started it. She tolerated her first treatment just fine. I had to administer her next treatment at home. That pill she did not handle well at all. All of a sudden she was doing the "I''m hurting" purr and I tried to get help from the doctor''s assistant via the phone and she was no help. Luckily with time she improved and within a couple hours she was back to normal. On her next visit to the oncologist, I saw a different doctor and told her that Timber was not tolerating the treatment plan very well. She decided to switch Timber''s treatment plan. This new medication Timber tolerated very well and her breathing rapidly started to improve. I decided to continue with the treatment. So every week I had to leave work early on Monday to drive home and pick up both girls and bring them to the doctor. I had to bring a kitty box in the car for Timber since she had bad kidney functions and our trip to the oncologist usually took all afternoon with traffic and the treatment. To figure out she needed the kitty box was a terrible lesson to have to go through. One week I only had to bring her in to get a treatment and on my way there she started to freak out in her carrier, biting and scratching it. I thought she was dying and I was stuck in traffic. It was terrible. I was on the phone with the oncologists office and ended up taking a wrong turn and got lost. Long story short, I got her there...and they were waiting with oxygen and took her in the back. I prepared myself for the worst but as soon as she was out of her carrier she was ok and purring...but she had an accident in the carrier. I was told that I should use lavendar while in the car to keep her calm...we could not use valium because it might relax her lungs too much and she might not be able to breathe with the cancer in her lungs. On my way home that day, she freaked out again. I let her out and again, she had another accident. It became clear that she could not hold her bladder for a longer period of time anymore. So therefore, I brought a litter box anytime we went in the car and I bought her a softsided carrier instead of putting her in the hardsided container she hated. It was so sad to me as Timber was Noel''s mom. Something just seemed so wrong with the whole thing. I continued Timber''s treatment faithfully until I was told I only needed to bring her every few weeks.
We had one scare in the early spring where she woke us up wailing on the top of her lungs and we rushed her to the ER only to be told by the doctors that they can''t find anything wrong with her other than the obvious- cancer. The only other time she wailed like that again was the night of Noel''s death. In fact for a few days she just did not want to be left alone...she would claw us to keep us awake and by her side. Slowly she started to feel better.
By this summer her breathing had started to worsen again and I found a couple more tumors. Regardless she was acting ok, still eating and still tolerating receiving her fluids ok although we had cut back on the frequency. By early to mid July though I noticed she was losing weight and wasn''t eating very well. I assumed it was the cancer but decided to bring her to the normal vet. I requested a blood panel and her kidney functions were terrible. I was told to start giving her fluids daily- 200 ml. A lot of my small kitty but we did it and within a couple days she was eating again. She seemed stable but her eating slowed down again. I went and bought TJ''s tuna for kitties and she started eating again. The downside to feeding her tuna was that it was bad for her kidneys but she wouldn''t eat anything at all. The trick worked for a few weeks but then again, she stopped eating. The challenge with her not eating at all meant that she would not eat her pill pockets either which meant I had to "pill" her. By early August she had declined rapidly.
On August 8 I had to go in for a biopsy. I had spent the night before cuddling with Timber on the sofa and she slept next to me there the whole night. The morning of the procedure she all of a sudden had what seemed to be a slight problem breathing but it passed before I left and my husband was with her. When I got back she was doing ok so I opted to spend the day with her. Towards the end of the day I had to leave to run an errand and when I returned, I found her on the floor of the master bathroom panting. I tried to help her get up and she couldn''t. I panicked and tried to call an in home euthanasia company but none could be there for hours. When I got back to the bedroom, she was fine and up and walking around. By that point my husband had arrived home from work. I took Timber into her favorite room and sat and watched her for a little while and she seemed ok. I asked my husband to come sketch a picture of her like he had done before Noel was put to sleep. When he finished the picture, she seemed quite irritated and started having trouble breathing. I brushed her one last time and told my husband that is was time. We took her in the car and she started breathing worse and worse on the way to the emergency room. When we got there they set her up with a beautiful and soft red blanket and let us have a few moments with her...actually they probably would have let us have as long as we wanted but she was really bad now so I told them it was time. The doctor came in and said we were doing the right thing, in the kindest way you can say something like that. She gave Timber the first injection and that was all it took...she passed. It was very peaceful unlike when Noel passed. We spent time with her and took patty paw prints of her feet and ink prints of her feet. They did not rush us and were very kind to us. I was tremendously grateful.
So now our kitty furball family is down from 5 furbabies to 2 kitty furbabies along with our dog and 2 birds. It''s weird and kind of lonely now and we miss the other kids terribly all the time. In the grand scheme of things though, we are so grateful we had them in our lives as long as we did. They brought us so much joy every day. Thank you for taking the time to read about my angel furbabies.
I just needed to let some feelings out...I am missing them terribly today.
Hugs,
ulualoha
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