Home Sad Story on Oprah, Mom leaves daughter in car.

[Sabine]

Did anyone else see Oprah today?

It was about a woman who got so caught up in her daily routine and was so overwhelmed with stuff on her mind, that when her schedule changed for one day and she had to drop her daughter off at day care rather than her husband, she forgot that her daughter was in her car and left her there all day at work, and her daughter died of heat exhaustion.

This was a truly heartbreaking story. The purpose of the show was to be a warning to people to slow down so that you don''t get to a point where you have so much on your mind that you can actually forget about your child, and I just don''t know what to think of it.

I can see why some people would want to crucify this mom, but I really feel bad for her. Even though I''m not a mom, I do remember one time that my mom forgot to pick me up from a school dance. It was a Friday night, and I remember standing around, watching all the other kids getting picked up, feeling awkward and self conscious as more and more people left, trying to call my mom on the pay phone and her not answering, starting to panic, being questioned by the local parent/cop that helped out at these things as he waited with me, and being SOOOO angry at my mom when she showed up about 45 minutes late. But now I can really see how that could happen. Luckily, I was in middle school, in a safe area, in no real danger, but not everyone is that lucky.

 

[somethingshiny]

I have mixed feelings on this. I just watched it myself.

On one hand, I can see how the "supermom" model forces us to try so hard that we can forget things. However, forgetting a child is unacceptable. Even a busy mom knows where her children are.

I get that it was an accident. But, people spend years in jail for other accidents (manslaughter for example) and she should too. That was pure reckless endangerment, neglect, and out-right stupidity.

I think the woman needs lots of psychiatric help. If your life is so overwhelming you can''t figure out how to get a kid to a sitter, you need help.

 

[diamondfan]

This happened in Philly twice, once two summers ago and once this summer . Both times a grandparent was to drop a very young child at daycare and forgot the child was in the car and drove to work. The children died in the car from the heat. The baby apparently fell asleep each time and was so quiet that the grandfathers just automatically drove to work and parked and left. The most recent one, the grandfather came out to his car at lunchtime and found the baby, and he was immediately rushed to Children's hospital but he died a while later.

These are tragic stories and completely avoidable. It is so terrible that these families now have lost children and it did not have to happen. I pray people stop being so distracted and out of it, hard to do with all we do in our lives, but so important.

 

[blondebunny]

That is soo sad... But im sorry if your life is so busy you leave your child in the car to die.. then plain and simple, you just should not have kids.... so sad...

 

[VegasAngel]

I dont know how I feel about this subject, it happens a lot here. You forget your child in a car during the summer here, they dont have a chance. Sometimes I wonder if it is because most carseats are rear-facing, with a lot of people practicing extended RF. You dont have a visual of your child & if they are sleeping you cant see or hear them. I can see how someone with their mind busy/or changed schedule could possibly forget. On the other hand I wonder if it's a way for some people to get rid of kids they dont want.

Perhaps they should charge people with a crime. It is involuntary manslaughter, neglect etc.., right?

They say to leave your purse, brief case etc.. in the backseat so that you have to remember to go in backseat.

 

[nycbkgirl]

I have maybe a stupid ?...but when my niece is even 1/2 hr late..her daycare center calls my sister on her cell phone...so why didn''t the center the baby was supposed to be dropped off call if she didn''t show up just to see if everything was ok??...not 2 blame or excuse this but just a thought...and maybe mothers should leave their windows cracked as soon as they get in their cars.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Ever watch "Nancy Grace"? This kind of thing happens more than you think. It is tragic.

 

[oobiecoo]

Hubby''s mom forgot him a couple of times at random places

. She had 9 kids to remember and did a terrible job overall.

I would have a little bit of sympathy if she forgot the baby and then remembered after being at work a few minutes. But to forget the child ALL DAY?! That''s unnacceptable.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 10/1/2008 8:10:10 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
I have maybe a stupid ?...but when my niece is even 1/2 hr late..her daycare center calls my sister on her cell phone...so why didn''t the center the baby was supposed to be dropped off call if she didn''t show up just to see if everything was ok??...not 2 blame or excuse this but just a thought...

Yes, this little process of calling when a child fails to make an arrival should be adopted by all childcare professionals, shouldn''t it!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Glad u agree lara...it would have made all the difference in the world! All mothers should make it a point to tell their centers or whoever they leave their kids with....to always check n call if child is not on time!

 

[Kaleigh]

This story broke my heart. The Mom doesn't need to go to jail, she'll have a life sentence of guilt, and regret for a lifetime.

I do wish the day care provider had called to say, where is.....

It's tragic. We all need to slow down, stop rushing, and pay attention.

In Philly, we have heard of several cases as Diamondfan said. It breaks my heart every time.

I wonder if someone could invent an alarm that sounds off, once you leave the car with the child still in the car seat?

 

[Sha]

Oh my.... I can't imagine what her face must have looked like when she walked back to her car and saw her child...

And having to break the news to her husband!

So sad...

 

[VRBeauty]

Summers here in Central California can get pretty hot and unfortunately, we hear one or two stories like this every year. I don't know how those parents live with themselves after somjething like that happens, or how they keep their marriages together.
VegasAngel, I think you're on to something. The practice (law!) of putting young children in the back seat, and facing infant carriers to the back, probably contributes to the problem.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 10/1/2008 10:18:38 PM
Author: Kaleigh
This story broke my heart. The Mom doesn''t need to go to jail, she''ll have a life sentence of guilt, and regret for a lifetime.

I tend to agree with you regarding the sentencing... however, somethingshiny had a really good point, that people convicted of manslaughter also go to jail...

but with manslaughter jail terms, does there need to be a reckless degree of stupidity - or even violence - involved? I can''t help thinking the law would really treat this as a kind of manslaughter, just one with not much culpability involved because it is such a pure accident, with no extenuating circumstances.

For example, people convicted of manslaughter may have been driving extremely recklessly, or may perhaps have attacked the victim in anger, without specifically intending to kill...?

Your car alarm idea is fantastic... a sensor underneath the baby''s bottom, attached to the car somehow... when the car engine is turned off, the alarm starts until the baby is removed from the seat. Hmm, annoying but effective!

 

[dragonfly411]

I love the car alarm idea!!!!!!!

Such a sad thing, and I agree, how would one keep their marriage together?

"I know it was an accident honey, you just forgot our child was there..."

 

[vespergirl]

I TIVO''d this & watched it with my husband when he got home from work. It was weird, because we both got the same vibe from that mom - even though her husband seemed to be seriously grieveing, the mom wasn''t that convincing to me. I don''t think that she left her in the car intentionally, but she is so irresponsible and neglectful - how could you forget about your kid for 9 HOURS??? I know where my son is at all times. I think that having a different schedule is such a lame excuse. And, she didn''t seem to really be grieving to me - something felt contrived about her crying and she was blinking a lot - always a sign of lying. She just seemed like the type of person who was way too self-absorbed to be a good parent.

I don''t know how her husband could stay with her after that.

I''m sure that leaving the baby in the car was accidental, but even so, she should definitely be in jail. That''s what manslaughter charges are for. Ignorance and stupidity are no excuse for killing your own child. If it had been their nanny who left their kid in the car, you can bet they would have seen her prosecuted and locked up.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I have a 2 year old son, and it made me just cry thinking about the excruciating way that her poor child died.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 10/1/2008 6:34:25 PM
Author: blondebunny
That is soo sad... But im sorry if your life is so busy you leave your child in the car to die.. then plain and simple, you just should not have kids.... so sad...

Or a person should down-size their life. To not remember kids in your car means a person priorities are all screwed up!

 

[diamondfan]

I also cannot imagine having no idea where you kid is. A few moments, maybe. But not hours and hours. The two cases in Philly it was a grandfather, and so without a call from the daycare, the parents assumed the grandfather got the child there safely. The grandparent was not used to doing this, and maybe the child was so quiet and being a bit older and not too focused, they just forgot. It is a terrible tragedy.

 

[Burk]

So sad. I just can''t imagine. I am a busy mom. I sometimes forget to bring more diapers to daycare or forget I have a meeting at 8:30am but I would NEVER forget my daughter, ever. When I have her in the car I talk to her (she''s 8 months so these are pretty one-sided conversations) and even if she falls asleep I still know she''s there. I just don''t get it.

 

[vespergirl]

I was so interested in this that I looked up the news articles of the actual event - Oprah made a BIG mistake putting this MURDERER on her show. According to the evidence that was gathered by police, Slaby backed her car into her parking space at the school, and then surveillance videos showed her returning to her car 6 TIMES that morning to retrieve articles out of the back of her SUV. How can it be that you would go to your car 6 TIMES and not see your dying baby back there?

Also, according to the administrator of the daycare center where that her older child attended, the Slabys had a history of leaving the 2 year old in the car. It happened SEVERAL TIMES over the two-week period before the murder. In fact, it became such a problem, that after this horrible "mother" left the baby in the car for over 15 mintues while she was wathcing her older daughter''s school play, the day-care administrator called a meeting with her and her husband to tell them that leaving their baby in the car was UNACCEPTABLE and ILLEGAL behavior.

Not two weeks later, this piece of crapexcuse for a human being found a convenient way to murder her baby - since she had been warned SEVERAL times over the previous weeks not to leave her baby in the car, and visited the car 6 times after parking that morning, I think that can hardly be called an accident.

The police in her area are clearly incompentent for not charging her, and so is social services for not taking away her older daughter.

I hope that this woman suffers every day, and I''m sure that eventually she''ll pay the price for making her daughter suffer the way she did. I can''t believe that Oprah painted her as a sympathetic figure. She is a negligent murderer, and she belongs in jail.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Child are placed in the backseat (and rear facing for the first year) for SAFETY. I am sure more children are saved in accidents b/c of these measures than children who died from being left in the car. I still cannot imagine forgetting your kid. I agree the guilt would be overwhelming but who knows what is going on inside her head or life.

 

[VegasAngel]

Date: 10/2/2008 12:56:01 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Child are placed in the backseat (and rear facing for the first year) for SAFETY. I am sure more children are saved in accidents b/c of these measures than children who died from being left in the car. I still cannot imagine forgetting your kid. I agree the guilt would be overwhelming but who knows what is going on inside her head or life.

No one is disputing the safety of rear-facing unless I missed it.

 

[dani13]

I am not a mother, but I saw Oprah yesterday, and I have to honestly say I really had a hard time believing this woman's story. How can you forget about your child, leaving her in the backseat of a sweltering hot car for 8 plus hours???? Come on!!! That poor child suffered enormously- a slow, torturous death. What a horrible story- I was sick to my stomach after seeing that show yesterday.

eta: I agree with Vespergirl re: the woman just didnt seem convincing. Her grief looked like an act to me, and I did notice she was blinking alot as well, which seemed odd. Her demeanor just didnt sit right with me at all.

 

[VegasAngel]

Date: 10/2/2008 12:36:29 PM
Author: vespergirl
I was so interested in this that I looked up the news articles of the actual event - Oprah made a BIG mistake putting this MURDERER on her show. According to the evidence that was gathered by police, Slaby backed her car into her parking space at the school, and then surveillance videos showed her returning to her car 6 TIMES that morning to retrieve articles out of the back of her SUV. How can it be that you would go to your car 6 TIMES and not see your dying baby back there?

Also, according to the administrator of the daycare center where that her older child attended, the Slabys had a history of leaving the 2 year old in the car. It happened SEVERAL TIMES over the two-week period before the murder. In fact, it became such a problem, that after this horrible 'mother' left the baby in the car for over 15 mintues while she was wathcing her older daughter's school play, the day-care administrator called a meeting with her and her husband to tell them that leaving their baby in the car was UNACCEPTABLE and ILLEGAL behavior.

Not two weeks later, this piece of crapexcuse for a human being found a convenient way to murder her baby - since she had been warned SEVERAL times over the previous weeks not to leave her baby in the car, and visited the car 6 times after parking that morning, I think that can hardly be called an accident.

The police in her area are clearly incompentent for not charging her, and so is social services for not taking away her older daughter.

I hope that this woman suffers every day, and I'm sure that eventually she'll pay the price for making her daughter suffer the way she did. I can't believe that Oprah painted her as a sympathetic figure. She is a negligent murderer, and she belongs in jail.

Ooh do you mind sharing where you found that info, I'd like to read it too. This year here, there was a child (One of 8?) who was missing for 17 hours & found dead in the car. How do you not realize your child is missing for 17 hours? he was 4.

 

[ladypirate]

Here''s some info I found: link. That poor baby.

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 10/2/2008 2:40:27 PM
Author: VegasAngel

Date: 10/2/2008 12:56:01 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Child are placed in the backseat (and rear facing for the first year) for SAFETY. I am sure more children are saved in accidents b/c of these measures than children who died from being left in the car. I still cannot imagine forgetting your kid. I agree the guilt would be overwhelming but who knows what is going on inside her head or life.

No one is disputing the safety of rear-facing unless I missed it.

Ditto. This case does sound suspicious, but in the local cases that I recall there was no reason to suspect any intent to harm the baby, or in some cases, even overt negligence.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/1/2008 10:18:38 PM
I wonder if someone could invent an alarm that sounds off, once you leave the car with the child still in the car seat?

They DO have these already. The problem is that as of right now you need to change your regular child buckle out to use the alarmed one, and safety advocates aren''t sure that they are as well made as the ones that come (and are tested) with the carseats.

 

[neatfreak]

Here is the alarm product. It''s called the "Child Minder". But anyone who buys one should be aware that the buckles haven''t been really safety tested well yet...http://www.babyalert.info/typesearch.php?hidcat=1005&uniq_rand=193b17fe5bd6ef71809e20ea8c0c9583&txt_searchstring=1005&txt_from=2&%20#85

 

[IloveAsschers13]

This is awful. I am a babysitter and I have been for almost 9 years now... having a child is a responsibility.. it is a top priority. Clearly this woman has MESSED UP priorities!

I think she should be punished... there is no "exception" for killing someone. And a baby?!?! How much more innocent can a human be?!

Awful...

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 10/2/2008 1:31:21 AM
Author: VRBeauty

VegasAngel, I think you''re on to something. The practice (law!) of putting young children in the back seat, and facing infant carriers to the back, probably contributes to the problem.

Vegas, this was the comment that I was addressing.