sad, shocked, conflicted...

[charbie]

I just found out my maternal grandfather has brain cancer. He has always been the greatest role model, and is my first grandparent to fall gravely ill. He is about to turn 86 (born on leap year!) I''m extremely lucky to have had healthy grandparents to this point, but over the years following my parents divorce, there have been lots of strain in the relationships of both my parents with their own parents. All the issues are erased from my mind knowing he is so ill, but I''m just so sad for my mom who just wants to make things right before he passes. I already told her not to worry about a penny for any trip she may need to make to see him (he is in florida and we are in ohio) bc my husband and I are able to afford for whomever needs to visit, but I just hope she can get the closure she needs.

Sorry, I''m not really sure the point of this post. I''m just confused, and of course sad to find out how ill my grandpa is. We don''t have answers as to his prognosis, but working in healthcare myself, I''m aware this is the beginning of the end, as he has had pretty much every other major organ worked on replaced.

 

[jewelz617]

It doesn''t matter if the person is 5 minutes old or 105 years old, death is one of, if not the most, difficult things a person can ever deal with.

No one wants to see a loved one hurting or sick. Especially if it''s someone you are extremely close to. I think you''re doing the right thing in facilitating travel for your mom and I hope she takes the opportunity. I always regretted not having a chance to say goodbye to my grandfather. When all is said and done that is the best thing you can do to help her and your grandfather right now. It will mean more than you can ever know.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

 

[marcy]

Charbie, I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope your mom does go visit with him.

 

[So Excited]

Hello Charbie,
I''m sorry to hear about your grandfather... you are so very lucky that you have had all of your grandparents with you for so many years! It is wonderful that you are able to offer the financial help to your family for them to spend the time with him in this tough part of his life. That is VERY gracious of you and your husband, especially in the tough financial times that the world is in, to be able to offer that kind of closure for your loved ones! I will keep your family in my prayers as I know how tough these times can be as my maternal grandfather has parkinsons and my grandmother and himself partly raised my sister and myself while our parents worked nights. It''s so hard to know that you can not "help" them and the condition will only worsen. Enjoy the time that you have with him and ALWAYS remember the special times you have together - he will always be with you!

 

[Cehrabehra]

((((((hugs)))))) hoping that whatever happens... it happens with a lot of love and peace

 

[Lorelei]

Charbie

I just wanted to let you know that you and beloved Grandpa will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[joflier]

I''m so sorry Charbie. My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[junebug17]

Oh Charbie, big hugs to you, it''s so hard when someone we love is seriously ill, I will be keeping your grandfather in my thoughts and prayers for sure.

 

[perry]

Charlie:

I am sorry that you have to go through this - but we all go through it. You are very fortunate to have had such a long relationship with your grandfather. I miss my grandparents.

Perry

 

[charbie]

Date: 2/14/2010 10:22:43 PM
Author: perry
Charlie:


I am sorry that you have to go through this - but we all go through it. You are very fortunate to have had such a long relationship with your grandfather. I miss my grandparents.


Perry

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, concern. We still don''t have any new news, but whatever is meant to be will be, and to be honest, my biggest concern right now is for my mom, since I know she has never dealt with loss like this and is having a rough time and feels guilty for their strained relationship over the past 6 or so years.

Trust me, I realize how very lucky I am to have my grandparents in my life for so long. It is very very rare to be at my age and still have 5 living grandparents (1 is a step grandmother.) But having also having the opportunity to have them around for so long and growing close makes it just that much more difficult to deal with the inevitable. I actually work in a nursing home and am surrounded by people dying more frquently than most, and bc of this have developed coping mechanisms that hopefully will also be able to help me help the rest of my famiily. I''ve never had to deal with the loss of a family member, its quite incredible,

 

[Sizzle]

I''m sorry you are going through this. I just buried my grandfather on Friday. He was 81 and had a full life, but that didn''t make it an easier. I will feel the loss for some time to come.

 

[onvacation]

charbie, hugs and prayers going out to you and your family. I also have all my grandparents alive, and though I''m aware that they all must pass at some point, I''m dreading the day I''ll hear bad news about one of them. I don''t know if I have it in me to go through it four times, and then again for my parents and in-laws, since I''m so unfamiliar with death. But it''s something I know I''m going to face someday, and I can only do my best to make sure I won''t regret the time that I had with them. From what I''ve read from your post, it sounds like the testing is just beginning, and there is still quite a bit of time before anything is definite. I hope you and your mom can find the closure you need, and make the most of the time you have left. I will keep you in my prayers, and wish your grandfather the best of luck.

 

[oddoneout]

I''m so sorry to hear of the bad news.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Just wanted to say what you''re feeling is completely normal and send my prayers and thoughts to you, your family, and of course your Grandpa.

 

[tlh]

You and your grandfather will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[gemgirl]

I''m so sorry about your Grandfather''s illness. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[charbie]

just to follow up...
my grandfather passed away today. my mom didn''t get the chance to go down to see him. they were going to be bringing him home this weekend to go on hospice services up in ohio, but he didn''t make it. my mom didn''t make plans to go down sooner since the plan already was for him to come up here. just two weeks ago my aunt was there and said he was doing so well, so there wasn''t a rush. today he took a very quick turn for the worse, and was gone by this evening.

i feel awful for my mom. she''s holding up remarkably well, and is already a bit at peace, knowing that her father is aware of how much she loved him. its just so hard for me to know that he''s really gone. i''ve never dealt with the loss of an actual close relative before, so i''m just trying to learn how to grieve and take all of this in.

my grandfather lived life in such a wonderful, FULL way, and he will be missed by so many people. everyone was a friend, and everyone just loved to be around him. i''m now just trying to remember all of the great memories we had- like the packages of oreo cookies he sent to me when i was in switzerland because he knew i missed them, or the funny wigs and hats he always wore just to make people smile. and although i''ve considered it a curse in the past the way my eyes ALWAYS water when i even just giggle, i''ll now fondly remember the trait i got from him each time i cry when laughing.


thank you all in advance for the support and prayers.

 

[kama_s]

So sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my thought. Cherish the wonderful memories you have of him. I read about your oreos story - your grandpa was so kind and adorable.

 

[yssie]

I'm so, so sorry, charbie

. Losing a loved one is so painful.. I'm praying for you and your family, and especially your mum.

 

[Haven]

Charbie, I''m so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.

My father''s brother was diagnosed with a massive brain tumor when he was 40. There are a lot of great support groups out there for families in your situation. They really do help, when and if you''re ready to talk about it.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Charbie
sorry to hear this news.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[susimoo]

Charbie,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear this news. I will be thinking about you and your family.

Stay strong, you have everyone here on your side.

 

[Lorelei]

I am also so sorry to hear this news.

 

[oddoneout]

I''m very sorry for your loss.

 

[gemgirl]

charbie, I''m so sorry for your loss, but it''s a blessing your Grandfather didn''t have to suffer for long. You and your family will be in my prayers as you adjust to life without him. Give yourself time and have patience. Losing someone close to you is not easy. It will be a process of adjusting to the thought that he''s gone.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Charbie, I''m so sorry. ((((HUGS))))

 

[Girlrocks]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[dani13]

Oh Charbie, Im so very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family. *Big hugs*.

 

[bee*]

I''m so sorry to hear that your grandfather passed away and that your mother didn''t make it in time. Sending lots of hugs to you and your family.

 

[Cehrabehra]

((((charbie))))