Rude Rude Rude!!!

[mintve]

My goodness, its just horrible when you are so excited to speak to someone about your design ideas and then you are given attitude!

I found a ring at a jeweler in town that i really liked, but wanted to make a few changes on it. I went to the designer''s site to ask her for add''l photos. On her site, it says she does custom work, so I asked her if it was possible to modify an exisiting settng she has to make it "custom". I told her that I saw the ring at such and such jewelers, blah blah blah.

Well she called me today and the first thing our of her mouth was "why are you calling me? why is such and such jeweler not calling". I felt like she was accusing me of something. Goodness.

then i aksed her if my modifications made any sense and she said it was not possible to do the profile that way. WHen i told her i''ve seen something similar to that, she about flew off the handle and told me that is all generic cheap stuff!!!!

she totally rubbed me the wrong way! then she rushed me off the phone saying she was late for a meeting and said she could talk to me on monday. I am not sure if I want to call her back!

I''ve asked a few other designers (WF, ERD, Leon Mege, etc) to see if its something they can do and so far, i have one YES. The jeweler where i saw the ring siad they could do it as well. however, the place is a wholesaler of diamonds (not as good of a selection as i can find online) and she kind of smirked and said they would do the setting, but implied I needed to buy my stone from them (though I''ve know people to have settings done there w/o buying a stone tehre). Buying a stone there is not an option at this point, b/c they are too pricey and the cuts are not as good.

Anyway, I digress. I was really unahppy with this designer. she really deflated me. she would probably end up charging a silly amount for the setting anyway. RUDE RUDE RUDE

so maybe i am better off having WF ro ERD or Leon Mege or Quest or Maytal do it...

GRRRRR

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

That is why retailers are retailers and detailers are detailers

 

[CaptAubrey]

It''s possible she''s worried about losing a client (that store) by dealing with their customers on the side.

Many designers I know will not deal with the public.

 

[mintve]

I suppose, but it doesn''t make sense that her site says she does custom work, and they give me attitude when I talk to her about creating something. Maybe she was jut mad that I wanted to modify one of her "signature pieces"

 

[CaptAubrey]

Date: 11/2/2007 4:16:57 PM
Author: mintve
Maybe she was jut mad that I wanted to modify one of her ''signature pieces''

Also a possibility.

 

[diamonddesignco]

Do you have a picture of the design and what were the changes? I''m curious because she said couldn''t be done?

Not sure why she would be so rude, if contact info is on the website I would assume she''d expect contact and questions. There is no telling, but maybe just a bad day. I would give her one more chance if it''s really the ring you want.

 

[kellyfish]

It''s also Christmas season in the retail world. Perhaps that business owner feels she has lots of clients to pick and choose projects from. Poor choice long-term for a retailer to behave that way.....a study showed that an unhappy customer tells an average of 5 people of their experience & that was before the internet!

 

[mintve]

This is the ring. Later tonight I will try to scan and attach some sketches I have. Here are my changes:

- I want the band to be plain, no etching in the platinum

- I think I want more basic/simpler prongs as those "bear foot" ones are big..they give the ring a vintage feel, which I like, but I am not sold on them

- and the biggest change impacts the bakset/gallery area. I want a wedding band to fit flush up against the setting. and this one will not work b/c of the vertical row of diamonds coming off the prongs that attach to the circle of diamonds at the base of the setting. I want to keep the collar that is around the top of the diamond and the verticle ones as well. to do this and to make the band sit flush, the "inner circle" or inner band, would need to be a complete circle, w/o a contour and the veritcal parts will need to me more shaped like a captial L or something (this is where I need design help) to give room to accommodate a band

this will create an open gallery, so you can see the tip of the stone.

As i look at it again, I suppose, I could elimiate the 2 verticle rows of pave and just have the ones ont he shank w/ the inner circle plain w/ the collar of stones as in this photo and the same shank...but that may take away form the uniqueness

I am OPEN TO IDEAS AND SUGGESTIONS!!!! Or other photos or photoshop ideas anything really!!!

 

[CaptAubrey]

Why not ask her to design a band that will work with that setting, instead of making such major changes to what, to me, is a pretty distinctive and original piece? My guess is that she might be more receptive to that idea, and you might be surprised with what she came up with.

 

[kcoursolle]

How unfortunate she was rude to you, she just lost a customer! I would work with someone who you like and get a good feeling about. The design you are talking about certainly seems possible to achieve and I''m sure you can find a good vendor who is enthusiastic to work with you.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 11/2/2007 5:04:43 PM
Author: CaptAubrey
Why not ask her to design a band that will work with that setting, instead of making such major changes to what, to me, is a pretty distinctive and original piece? My guess is that she might be more receptive to that idea, and you might be surprised with what she came up with.

You are asking the designer to do a major redesign on her signature piece. That might not sit well with her! You need to ask her what her custom design process is...and it may not included a significant change in her existing pieces. Whether you want to work with her is another issue. I agree with CaptAubrey on this ring

 

[neatfreak]

I totally agree with you that it was inappropriate of her to be so rude to you. Lets just hope that she was having a bad day.

BUT on the other side of things, it sounds like what you want removed is the "donut" on the bottom. Leon has been asked to remove this on a few of his rings and he has also said no because it would ruin the integrity/stability of the setting. So while ONE person out of the many you requested to do this said yes, it doesn't mean it SHOULD be done. Especially if a number of other designers are telling you no...

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I suppose that the reason for her rudeness was the fact that you want to change a signature piece that to her is probably perfect, however, she does state on her website that she does custom work. If it were me, I would not want to deal with one who snapped at me from the get go, I would find another designer.

 

[IHeartOldCuts]

In my world, it is difficult to get past an experience like that. I would personally always feel "iffy" when dealing with her. First impressions an chemistry is important and if you already got off on the wrong foot, it may take A LOT to repair the damage.

 

[Sharon101]

Date: 11/2/2007 9:04:11 PM
Author: IHeartOldCuts
In my world, it is difficult to get past an experience like that. I would personally always feel ''iffy'' when dealing with her. First impressions an chemistry is important and if you already got off on the wrong foot, it may take A LOT to repair the damage.

This sums up my views on this!!!

I might be moved to start over if the designer rang back and pointed out that she was having a bad day etc. appologies not neccessary but admiting bad behaviour would make me feel like we were on the same page.

I dont mind giving second chances, but Im realistic to know that if it starts out bad, its not going to end up working out.

Since I wasnt there I cant comment about the fact that she might have been insulted by too many changes to her own design. But common sense would dictate that that is what custom is all about!!! Its about fine tuning a design to suit the individual paying for it.

I would definately look at other options and see it as a possible gift in descuise!!!

 

[mintve]

thanks for your input. I was thinking about it this evening and I don''t think i will be able to get past the poor first impression. I would always second guess and if i before annoyed or furstrated w/ her, I will be reminded of it and have a sense of stress and anxiety exverytime i look at my ring.

 

[diamondfan]

Hey, rude is rude. If she does not poach from stores that sell her, why does she have a web site? Yuck, she is nasty.

 

[fansynancy]

There are so many situations in life where we have to deal with certain people whether we like them or not. Examples are at work, at our children''s schools, at the DMV, etc. Buying your dream ring should be a pleasant experience. You are the one with the vision of how you want your ring to look and feel. You are the one who will wear it. You are spending your hard earned money and should be the one in control of the experience. Of course we respect the vison and expertise of designers, but if ultimately the ring will be yours to live with for years to come. If the experience feels any other way than wonderful for you, I say move on. It may take some time, but you will find the design that''s right for you and you need to find someone who has the vision to "see" what you want. Good luck with your seearch!

Nancy

 

[Pandora II]

I think you are better to do sketches of what you want and then take them to a designer.

If you want minor changes to a signature piece, like removing engraving, then that is fine - but big structural changes - don''t ask in that way.

Signature designs are like babies, and we tend to feel very protective of them. Learning to accept criticism is not always easy.

I never enjoyed working with the public. When I first started to design jewellery I spent hours watching the benchmen and learning what was and wasn''t technically possible. When someone then asks for something that doesn''t work technically it can be very difficult to get them to understand this in a short time.

You also have to consider that a designers portfolio is their bread and butter. They are not going to want to produce or spend their time on things with their name on that they consider ugly or that are likely to have structural problems that will give them a bad reputation.

If you have very firm ideas, you might be better asking a benchman for their opinion, not a designer.

That said, she should not have been so rude to you.

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

Date: 11/2/2007 3:58:45 PM
Author:mintve
My goodness, its just horrible when you are so excited to speak to someone about your design ideas and then you are given attitude!

I found a ring at a jeweler in town that i really liked, but wanted to make a few changes on it. I went to the designer''s site to ask her for add''l photos. On her site, it says she does custom work, so I asked her if it was possible to modify an exisiting settng she has to make it ''custom''. I told her that I saw the ring at such and such jewelers, blah blah blah.

Well she called me today and the first thing our of her mouth was ''why are you calling me? why is such and such jeweler not calling''. I felt like she was accusing me of something. Goodness.

then i aksed her if my modifications made any sense and she said it was not possible to do the profile that way. WHen i told her i''ve seen something similar to that, she about flew off the handle and told me that is all generic cheap stuff!!!!

she totally rubbed me the wrong way! then she rushed me off the phone saying she was late for a meeting and said she could talk to me on monday. I am not sure if I want to call her back!

I''ve asked a few other designers (WF, ERD, Leon Mege, etc) to see if its something they can do and so far, i have one YES. The jeweler where i saw the ring siad they could do it as well. however, the place is a wholesaler of diamonds (not as good of a selection as i can find online) and she kind of smirked and said they would do the setting, but implied I needed to buy my stone from them (though I''ve know people to have settings done there w/o buying a stone tehre). Buying a stone there is not an option at this point, b/c they are too pricey and the cuts are not as good.

Anyway, I digress. I was really unahppy with this designer. she really deflated me. she would probably end up charging a silly amount for the setting anyway. RUDE RUDE RUDE

so maybe i am better off having WF ro ERD or Leon Mege or Quest or Maytal do it...

GRRRRR

Did you ask the retailer about making direct contact?
Does the designers site imply custom work for consumers or the trade?

I suspect the designer hates dealing direct and the retailer would probaby confirm this.

I think you may have been out of line. The designer may have felt you were breaking the bond of trust between her client and herself. The dsigner might have thought you were margin shaving and trying to get a better ''direct'' price.

If you want to work with that designer you probably still can - but through the retailer.

 

[denverappraiser]

The skills associated with making beautiful pieces are not the same as the skills associated with romancing them to the customer. Sometimes you’ll find these in the same individual but my experience is that this is unusual. That’s no excuse for being rude but rather an explanation why they want salespeople involved in the first place. An effective business model for designers is to set up relationships with retailers in different markets, make and sell awesome things and then split the money in a way that’s fair to everyone. I’ve seen plenty of cases where the salesperson is working harder for a particular sale than the benchworker who makes it so it’s not like it’s unfair that they get paid for this.

It’s also fairly common for the manufacturer to be involved in producing advertising materials, like websites, billboards and other ads that make things look attractive. Because these support sales in many different markets, they are in a better position to hire talented people or at least commit the required time and effort to things like taking good pictures and copywriting. This is part of how you build brand recognition. As with the above, these skills are rarely found in the same individual and some people are definitely better at it than others.

When all of these things are being done by a small design shop with only a few people it can get overwhelming and inevitably some things are going to be done better than others. That’s one of the big advantages of the big design houses. They’ve got it down. This is a problem you’re unlikely to have with Verragio, Vera Wang or Ritani but they are far less likely to offer you a customized solution. By all means ditch this designer if it’s going to spoil your shopping experience. They have LOTS of competitors who may be more to your style.

Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ICGA(AGS) NAJA
Professional Appraisals in Denver

 

[mintve]

I disagree about me being out of line. Her site clearly states she does custom work and she also said she would talk to me more about it next week. It is just her intial brash behaviour and attitude that rubs be the wrong way. I even told her I am not a designer and do not know all the technical terms, but that I had ideas for t a seting. I have spoked to other designers with similar conversations and have never felt the way this woman made me feel. I don not belive i am in the wronf to ask a desginer if to use an existing sytle of theirs as inspiratrions, esepcially if there site clearly states they will work with you as individuals.

But, since this woman gave me a bad first impression, I am choosing not to work with her.

 

[lauralu]

Maybe it was the difference between asking her to custom do a ring for you and you would like to include elements of that ring. Instead of, I like that ring but would like to change....ya know what I mean?

I am thinking that designers of anything are pretty protective over their work. I bet they hate being told I like it, but..... to their faces.

No excuse for being rude though...

 

[BABYPUFFIN]

Date: 11/4/2007 1:58:43 AM

I think you may have been out of line. The designer may have felt you were breaking the bond of trust between her client and herself. The dsigner might have thought you were margin shaving and trying to get a better ''direct'' price.

No she wasn''t out of line. If the designers site doesn''t specify that she doesn''t work with the general public but only authorized dealers then it''s perfectly reasonable that she thought she could contact the designer and ask questions. If the designer doesn''t work with the pubic and only through a jeweler/retailer, she could have sent a brief and polite email stating so. Problem solved. Being creative/artistic doesn''t give anyone a license to act like a C.

 

[decodelighted]

Here''s a tip for dealing with artists of all kinds ... expect them to be rude. Then, if they''re nice - it''s a bonus.

If you go in *expecting* "common courtesy" or non-diva-ish behavior etc ... you''ll be disappointed more often than not.

Not saying you have to patronize anyone who isn''t "nice". Ya just might have a tough time finding someone talented that fits that bill.

Which is why MOST designers utilize a kiss-A** middleman (aka - "retailer") who knows how to talk to them & not to take their moods personally.

 

[BABYPUFFIN]

Date: 11/4/2007 11:07:24 PM
Author: decodelighted
Here''s a tip for dealing with artists of all kinds ... expect them to be rude. Then, if they''re nice - it''s a bonus.


If you go in *expecting* ''common courtesy'' or non-diva-ish behavior etc ... you''ll be disappointed more often than not.


Not saying you have to patronize anyone who isn''t ''nice''. Ya just might have a tough time finding someone talented that fits that bill.

Which is why MOST designers utilize a kiss-A** middleman (aka - ''retailer'') who knows how to talk to them & not to take their moods personally.

I''ve dealt with a number of artists in different fields for a number of years and most of them are friendly and confident enough in themselves and their talent not to pull "diva" act. There were a few bad apples but in those cases they weren''t as talented as they thought or on a downturn in their careers.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 11/4/2007 11:23:05 PM
Author: BABYPUFFIN

Date: 11/4/2007 11:07:24 PM
Author: decodelighted
Here''s a tip for dealing with artists of all kinds ... expect them to be rude. Then, if they''re nice - it''s a bonus.

If you go in *expecting* ''common courtesy'' or non-diva-ish behavior etc ... you''ll be disappointed more often than not.

Not saying you have to patronize anyone who isn''t ''nice''. Ya just might have a tough time finding someone talented that fits that bill.

Which is why MOST designers utilize a kiss-A** middleman (aka - ''retailer'') who knows how to talk to them & not to take their moods personally.

I''ve dealt with a number of artists in different fields for a number of years and most of them are friendly and confident enough in themselves and their talent not to pull ''diva'' act. There were a few bad apples but in those cases they weren''t as talented as they thought or on a downturn in their careers.

Guess you''re not working in Hollywood or NY then.

And I''ve NEVER known any kind of artist or craftsmen who was unwaveringly "confident" about themselves or "their talent".

Are there gingerbread houses and gold paved streets where you live?

 

[BABYPUFFIN]

"Guess you're not working in Hollywood or NY then. And I've NEVER known any kind of artist or craftsmen who was unwaveringly 'confident' about themselves or 'their talent'. Are there gingerbread houses and gold paved streets where you live?"

Actually, for a big part of my career I HAVE dealt with artists in the motion picture, music, and theater industry. Just because YOU don't have that experience doesn't mean it's so. No I don't see any gingerbread houses or gold paved streets but then again I don't make condescending ASSumptions about others like you appear to be doing. A lot of the people I have been lucky enough to work with ARE confident enough not to have to revert to diva antics and behavior. Why? Because many are smart enough to know that the ones you step on, on your way up are the ones you see on your way down.

 

[Kaleigh]

I think designers are protective of their designs and asking them to change one of their signature pieces could have hit her the wrong way?? Also it seems as though she was surprised to get a phone call or email from a consumer?? I don''t know how her website is set up, but if she said she does custom work, then she should have been more receptive to your inquiry. Most designers don''t talk to the public, and only deal with the retailors.. She said she was going to talk to you this week, so see how that goes.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 11/4/2007 11:00:55 PM
Author: BABYPUFFIN

Date: 11/4/2007 1:58:43 AM

I think you may have been out of line. The designer may have felt you were breaking the bond of trust between her client and herself. The dsigner might have thought you were margin shaving and trying to get a better 'direct' price.

No she wasn't out of line. If the designers site doesn't specify that she doesn't work with the general public but only authorized dealers then it's perfectly reasonable that she thought she could contact the designer and ask questions. If the designer doesn't work with the pubic and only through a jeweler/retailer, she could have sent a brief and polite email stating so. Problem solved. Being creative/artistic doesn't give anyone a license to act like a C.

You don't know the circumstances of the call any better than the rest of us. You certainly shouldn't be coming onto to these forums referring to the designer--or anyone else--as a "C." One of our members responded to you in a light-hearted manner--look at the emoticons--and you decided to flame her. IMHO, you are being rude and added nothing helpful to this discussion.