Rude People

[angel_nieves]

For those out there be nice to everyone it''''s Christmas. I was in dressed in simple yeans and a vintage Dior top and my son
( who was in his carriage not running around) when I stop to look at some ruby earrings. A "lady" who walks around to the jewelry case and wants to get where I am since I''''m just looking to get ideals for Christmas presents I moved and let her look. The lady was decked in diamonds with a Chanel purse that she waved around like a stats symbol. As I walked away she said under her breath "I don''''t know why some people even come in here" and looked at me as I walked off. Yes I am 23 have a short tomboy haircut and a few tattoos. However my husband and I own our own house in the good part of town that is fully paid off, my husband is a well educated cop while I am a mortgage broker. How is it some people think they are so high above everyone else!! Sorry for my rant.
People please remember everyone is different but have a unique and wonderful inside.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

sorry about that rude lady. I look really young too. People treat you differently. Oh well, I believe in Karma

It helps me get through the day.

 

[valeria101]

Date: 12/8/2005 11:24:28 PM
Author:angel_nieves

How is it some people think they are so high above everyone else!!

... it goes with a flashy purse sometimes

Oh, well, 'guess my own bag is begging for mercy. The way you describe how the lady was wearing hers tells the story though.


Of course you don't have to explain anything, that lady does. Just imagine how bad she might feel meeting someone glitzier than she

That should help...

 

[crafftygrrl]

As long as your kids are behaving, (something I don''t take for granted--even with mine) I wouldn''t care how yound you are, how many tatoos, etc. You have got as much right to shop as me.

BTW, my everyday bag is an authentic 35 cm Hermes Kelly.

 

[decodelighted]

Oh Angel that sux! It''s obviously her "m.o." ... "leveling" .. making everyone else "less than" so she can feel superior ... or boosting herself up (brandishing designer goods obnoxiously & showily, not tastefully). Class can''t be bought & paid for. As she proved oh too well.

 

[tawn]

I''m the jeans, flip flops, and pony or pig tail queen with a few hidden tattoos too! I live in a very affluent place and sometimes I feel as though I get looked "down" on as well. They usually warm up when they see my new vehicle and decent jewelry...Snobs!!

People like that always remind me of the story about Janice Joplin being asked to leave some fur store because they didn''t think that she had the money to buy anything! Or when the salesgirls are mean to Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman"...

You just can''t judge a book by it''s cover!

 

[angel_nieves]

Thanks everyone. The sad thing is my mothers family is not poor (actually a somewhat affluent family from Georgia) I went to a private school and had a Mercedes as my first car. However due family history (poor Irish catholic that worked for everything they had) I was bought up to take care of myself. Both my husband and I believe that what we do with our live is more important than anything.

Crafty girl my every day bag is a old Ferragamo I have had for ages and love to death.

 

[Slykat12]

Date: 12/9/2005 12:56:22 AM
Author: angel_nieves
Thanks everyone. The sad thing is my mothers family is not poor (actually a somewhat affluent family from Georgia) I went to a private school and had a Mercedes as my first car. However due family history (poor Irish catholic that worked for everything they had) I was bought up to take care of myself. Both my husband and I believe that what we do with our live is more important than anything.

Crafty girl my every day bag is a old Ferragamo I have had for ages and love to death.

Well my family is only middle class which is poor in Southern California and I don't own a house as the average price is 2 million where I live or even a nice purse but I still would be upset if someone treated me the way you were treated.

If it happens again say something back. You will feel better.

Most of my life I sit back and allowed people to stomp on me. Restraint has rarely worked for me.

There are some cases where a classy comeback is not so bad!

 

[Mara]

there was an interesting article in one of Greg's WSJ's recently about the mixing of the classes or more aptly how the lines are blurring and have been for some time now. it was pretty interesting. how you can't judge a book by it's cover at all anymore. it talked about how in the old days things like fancy cars or big jewelry etc (even to HAVE a diamond) meant that you were worth something, aka old money or new money etc. and nowadays so many people have money and don't spend it on themselves, so they are kind of like the millionaire next door OR people don't have money but want to create the illusion that they do and put on airs to make themselves feel better or maybe they DID have money and don't any longer etc. that lady with diamonds and her chanel purse could have been wearing all fakes and taking the bus. you don't really know these days!

anyway the article was interesting to me because of how the class lines really do blur...and it also talked about how people don't necessarily fall into the old trap of having to look the part to BE the part. the bottom line was that status symbols that used to mean something in the 'old days' don't necessarily anymore. you can buy a 30k ring on credit. you can buy a mercedes on credit and pay for it for the next 10 years. it doesn't mean you are rich or that you can put on airs. but sometimes that illusion means something to people and more people can 'afford' it now than in the 'old days'.

ETA: I am the jeans and flip flops type here in Northern California and I guess here we don't get too much of the attitude about who's better around here, because there are so many types of diverse people in this area. But, I think I secretly do take pleasure in having kind of a really blingy ring set, and then wearing super casual clothes with flip flops.

It's like an oxymoron for those who are mired in judgement!

 

[Mrsgardener]

Yes! There are rude people in this world that think they are better than the rest. They are a dime a dozen! I would like to tell them, that their money means nothing to me. I am an ex-cop and working Nurse that has worked for everything that I have.-- I have played jokes on those kinds of people by saying like, Don''t I know your Mother?---- etc.LOL!
I know exactly what you mean! I''m a 55 year old, salt and pepper ,very short hairstyle, Grandmother who has been looking , recently, for my perfect emerald cut diamond ring. The ring is being paid for by my W/C money , from an injury that occurred 4.5 years ago resulting in a disability. I am treated somewhat differently when I enter a jewery store. I almost get the once over look since I wear a knee brace on my right leg, a result of a car accident on ice.. -- Here I am standing with young couples , looking @ jewery. Ah... young love... so nice. I would like to tell the young ladies, to buy exactly what you want because they would have earned the ring in the end! LOL!--- I see the working of the salesperson which is sometimes not good. I want the couples to read the infor in this forum! LOL!
Good Luck on your shopping!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

From Madam Bijoux's little book of replies:

Person:

"I don't know why some people even come in here" (and looked at me as I walked off)

Reply (with a blinding smile): "I suspect they come in here to look at beauriful things and behave in a civilized manner."

 

[Lorelei]

MB, I am really enjoying all your witty retorts recently, keep ''em coming!

When is your book being published by the way????

 

[Madam Bijoux]

He, Lorelei! Maybe I''ll consolidate them into a thread one day.

 

[Lorelei]

What a good idea!!!!

 

[oldminer]

We have to accept that people may look one way and act another way. We need to see past the surface appearance to get to know someone. However, what you do to the surface will definitely affect how many people treat you and how most folks will behave toward you. They will never get to know the real you, but only take their cue from what you provide to them on the outside.

I don't care what individuals look like on the outside. I make it my goal not to prejudge anyone just by outward appearance, but to look at their actions and how they speak, before making that initial decision. Even so, that is still too early to know if a person is a good one or a bad one.

People who have voluntarily made it their lifestyle to look strange must accept that regular folks will think some strange thoughts about them and probably will not treat them in a normal way. Its a personal decision, often made before the age of maturity, to make yourself look "different". It is something that may have long lasting consequences and that is no one's fault or problem, but the person who chose to make themselves stand out. Those who know those people may love them for how good they are, but those who don't know them may well take a very different view of them. This is human nature, so it seems. Making yourself look different may please you and your peers, but it will set you apart sometimes when you wish it wouldn't. You cannot control what others think, but you can control how different you plan on looking.

For those who look different through no fault of their own, because of an accident or a birth defect, the case is sadly much the same except it is not a voluntary act and not your fault. Those people have to learn how to deal with being different and those who know them well can get past thier appearance. We need to be especially sympathetic to those who did not control their appearance, but accidently became different.

Both of my adult kids have tatoos, etc. I have no personal issue with it at all. To me it is silly and if they enjoy it, no problem. If they feel it has an effect on their life, I surely didn't cause it. Expect rude treatment from rude and ill bred people regardless of how you look. They treat everyone around them badly. If you have created extra reasons for being treated badly in your mind, then it may be you are thinking its somehow your fault. In a way it is, but actually its the fault of the rude person, period.

 

[crafftygrrl]

You can never judge a book by its cover. Though most people do. This past September, I chaperoned a three girls from my temple''s youth group through Hershey Park. One of the girls had several piercings, including one through her lip; another was a Goth; the third was my almost 12-year-old daughter. The two girls, (aged 15) treated my daughter as a PEER. Everyone had a wonderful time and we went on all the big coasters.

The interesting part was to notice how people reacted to the teens, especially the one with the piercings. They moved their kids AWAY!!!
Meanwhile these girls were very smart (honor roll) and very level-headed, kind and interesting to be around.

BTW, Angel Nieves, I inherited my Mom''s Ferragamo bags. (She passed away in May 2004.) I love them, but they are too precious to me to wear around everyday. I took me 20-25 years to get to the point where I could justify a Kelly.

I also believe there is a cosmic Karma to life. If you are kind, you will be shown kindness. You will also be a whole lot happier person.

 

[skphotoimages]

You are such an insightful bunch! I love the comment about "to bad class can't be bought and paid for" I'll have to remember that one. Next time I am in a situation like you, I'll probably say that. You see, I live on both sides of the fence. On one side, we live in the affluent side of town, own our house, we both own our own companies, I drive a luxury SUV, and my diaperbag is a Louis Vuitton purse, and most all my jewelry is the real deal. On the flip side, my husband and I ride Harleys, I have six tattoos, and recently pierced my nose as an excuse for another place to stick a diamond

. I have a 15 month old, so I don't always take that much time to spruce up. And I'd rather spend money on jewelry than clothes, so most my clothes are from resale shops, or stuff I've had for years. I am 29, but I look 23. Depending on the day I sometimes get treated like you. My husband and I call those people "Plastic" because everything is so fake. Even if everything you own is "real" or "authentic" your only as real and authentic as what is inside. My husband and I are looking to move to the country because we've about had it with all the fake people around here. We get quite some looks from our neighbors because we have the harleys, and old CJ-7 jeep, and my husbands new addition, an antique farm tractor. HA!! Scr#$ 'em.

Living life being real, and true to yourself is such a freeing and fullfillling experience. Just know that people like that lady are probably pretty empty and unhappy inside.

 

[angel_nieves]

I love all your wisdom. Yes old miner I have chose to keep my hair closely shorn (I volunteer at an animal sanctuary hair gets in the way) and have a sea serpent tattoo on my wrist ( its a copy of my great grandfathers''), but I don''t understand the mental state that''s it takes for people to lessen others for petty reasons. I also volunteer and in the Hispanic community, and quite often get snide remarks from other saying why do I help Hispanics there just here to work and get what they can and then leave. I don''t think I''ll ever understand that type of mind frame.

Craftygrrl I would love to see you post your Kelly bag, my Ferragamo is from my moms collection every time she didn''t use it anymore so she handed it down to me.

 

[AGBF]

It is funny that I happened to be thinking about appearance and stores just this morning. I am currently (quite) overweight and I do not feel I can look good, so I don't bother much with my clothing. I am clean. My clothing is clean. Usually (OK, always) I am in Ralph Lauren jeans and a Ralph Lauren man style shirt. Plus white Reebok sneakers. I stopped wearing makeup not because I didn't care, but because someone close to me didn't like me to wear it. My hair is expensively colored, but who knows that? I just look blonde. I wear my hair tied back because I don't like it in my face, so no one sees its cut. I wear only a cheap watch, a plain gold wedding band, and earrings to keep the holes in my ears open. (I had my ears pierced at 48, so the holes closing up is still a possibility!)

I know I don't look as if I fit in wear I live now. I didn't look as if I fit in wear I lived previously. (Except when I was thin and/or working and well-dressed.) In very wealthy communities, all women are thin. (If I were thin the Ralph Lauren jeans would make me look as if I fit in!)

At any rate, I went into a store (Richard's in Greenwich, Connecticut) and asked to look at Yossi Harari jewelry this past summer. No one was rude, but I was, as always, conscious of my appearance.

The funny thing is that an attractive young saleswoman, whom I am sure though I was a poor slob, helped me that day. Since then she has continued to sell me Yossi Harari jewelry long distance, so she knows I am not a pauper.

Recently, when a piece came in (after having been lost the first time) without its chain, she apologized to me profusely. I said to her that unless someone was getting engaged, I really didn't think anyone could have a "jewelry emergency". She said to me, "You're the best!". That made me very happy. I had just been myself and yet someone who saw me once, at my worst, was so friendly. It was as if who I was had reached her.

I was thinking about that this morning because I had received an invitation to a Yossi Harari show at Richard's and I just got rid of the invitation a few minutes ago.

I am (as always) trying to lose weight. I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers and have been at my "goal weight" and below many times. I know the way one is treated when thin and when fat, when one is well-dressed and casually dressed.

I have said it before, but the protagonist in Albert Camus', "L'étranger" says, "Tout le monde juge". Everyone judges. And it is true. I accept it that the world is what it is. But I try to have the attitude (to paraphrase the hymn): let there be love on earth and let it begin with me.

Deb

 

[MauiTikii]

angel - that lady was just a stuck up snob and don''t let her get to you. I give you credit for not saying anything back to her. I would have said something like "excuss me, what did you say"? Which could have led into something. Kudos to you for walking away.
BTW - my husband is a recently retired NYC cop

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Why would an (apparently) well-to-do woman go out of the way to make a hurtful remark to a young mother? Probably because she is insecure, miserable and deeply in debt. Luckily, you only had to be around her for those few seconds. She has to live with herself 24/7 and she''s obviously not enjoying her own company.

 

[oldminer]

"but I don''t understand the mental state that''s it takes for people to lessen others for petty reasons"

1. Most people are shallow and petty. A petty reason is all it takes.
2. Our world is stressful today. Just getting by without exploding takes restraint.

There is a lesson to be learned from this about human nature. It isn''t all pretty. Seemingly petty actions often create noticeable consequences. People make up for their own insecurity by downing others. The best thing to do is to not let other people''s words or actions get to you. Let it slide off you without creating the feeling of being put down. Instead see those insecure people for what they really are. Just as well you don''t want to be like them. That''s how I have learned to handle sticks, stones and mean words. It doesn''t get to me, but sticks right to them.

 

[KristyDarling]

I''m sorry that happened to you. What a horrible woman -- if I were you, I''d be so outraged that I''d send in a letter to the store''s manager.

I look very young, and when I show up at Shreve''s here in San Francisco (very high-end, old-school jewelery store), I have to practically BEG for help, even though there are literally 20 salespeople standing around doing nothing. Little do they know that my husband and I do have the means to buy their goods...so too bad, with their attitude they''re not going to get my business! (James Allen did instead, heehee) However, when I walk in with my husband, they snap to attention and turn all gushy and courteous. It''s like I don''t count unless I''ve got my moneybags (aka well-dressed husband) with me. It drives me insane.

I''d love it if these people could stop looking at clients as walking dollar signs and just start trying to develop relationships instead. Many of these salespeople have no idea how huge of a difference that''d make.

 

[skphotoimages]

Date: 12/9/2005 11:42:41 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
Why would an (apparently) well-to-do woman go out of the way to make a hurtful remark to a young mother? Probably because she is insecure, miserable and deeply in debt. Luckily, you only had to be around her for those few seconds. She has to live with herself 24/7 and she''s obviously not enjoying her own company.

LOL, couldn''t have been said better!

 

[crafftygrrl]

The best and smartest salespeople are the ones who give everyone equal and great service. You never know who has money and who will have money in the future.

My jewelry salesperson at Neiman Marcus is an example of a great salesperson. She is Neiman''s top seller in Precious Jewels. She treats me as well as her celebrity clients. When we first started to work together years ago, I started buying relatively inexpensive (but nice) pieces that I would buy once or twice a year. She would also let me know when sales were occurring.

She has rock stars, professional athletes and major celebrities as clients. She never spills the beans on them. BTW, yesterday while I was shopping there during an Elizabeth Locke trunk show. Colin Powell stopped by to say hello to my salesperson. He stood right next to me a teased her and said some very kind things. It took me a moment to realize who he was.

Even though I spend (yearly) a fraction of what many people buy in a single purchase, I am made to feel like a princess. She does this with all her clients, regardless of age, physical appearance, weight or dress. That''s the way it should be.

 

[oldminer]

Carfftygirl;

I remembvver going to Neiman''s with my wife one day and some super nice salesperson came over just to say hello to my wife. They knew eachother''s names and seemed like old friends. It scared me to death knowing that my wife was respected so much in such a fine and huge store. Turns out that they just have people who know how to treat customers, large and small. A very smartly run store. Can''t blame my wife one bit for liking the shopping experience there. Unlike so many other place, Neiman''s is one of those places that have figured out how to give top service.

 

[widget]

Author: crafftygrrl
The best and smartest salespeople are the ones who give everyone equal and great service. You never know who has money and who will have money in the future.

That is SO TRUE!!! My brother told me a story years ago that was wild. (I just called him to get the details but he was out).


Once some youngish guy wearing flip flops, Tee shirt and old Levis wandered into a showroom at the Van Nuys airport intending to look at their corporate jets. He was either ignored or in some other way mistreated by the salesman.

Turns out he was a MAJOR BIG SHOT...Ted Turner, Bill Gates, or the equivilant, and he later ended up purchasing TWO Gulfstreams from someone else!!! I wonder what kind of commission that salesman lost out on!

Unfortunately how you look often does dictate how you're treated in a high-end store. I am an extremely casual dresser...and how I'm treated depends on whether or not I'm wearing my jewelry.

widget

 

[Ann]

There is a post in SMTR about the gentleman who designed his GF''s ring with the 2 hidden almost perfect diamonds. Without going there and rereading it right now, the stones were symbolic of outer and inner beauty. I think I remember him posting that the 2 small hidden stones were her inner beauty and the larger center stone her outer beauty.

Kinda reminds me how we look to others is not always the case.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 12/9/2005 12:08:24 PM
Author: crafftygrrl
My jewelry salesperson at Neiman Marcus is an example of a great salesperson.

I met one lovely saleswoman at the Neiman Marcus jewelry counter. I have no idea if she is your top saleswoman, but she is a Graduate Gemologist. I was in the store to buy my daughter shoes and just stopped to take a look at the high karat gold jewelry. We ended up teaching my daughter about gold...and I also told her what an impressive credential a GG is!

Deb

 

[jaysonsmom]

I''ve been on the opposite side of the story....and feel ashamed to admit it. I was shopping ar Tiffany & Co. for a Birthday gift for my sister-in-law, I was at the silver collection, looking at $200+ neckalaces and bracelets etc when in walks this lady who looked like a bag lady. She had messy curly hair-do, plaid farmer-looking shirt (untucked) scruffy, baggy jeans and scruffy shoes. She was also about 60 years old with wrinkly skin and age-spots, and wore no make-up to hide her weather-beaten skin. I remember thinking...She must be a country-bumpkin that strolled in, not knowing how expensive Tiffany''s was. I was about to ask her if she could move a little so that I could get closer to the display case when all of a sudden the head sales person (presumably the store manager) came rushing from the back, and greeted the woman warmly: "How ARE you Mrs. So-and-so? Doing your Christmas shopping?" She said: "Yes!" She takes out a shopping list and says: "I need to pick out 16 things for my granddaughters and nieces, and some other random gifts". She proceeded to pick them nonchalantly: Oh, I''ll take 3 of these, 6 of these, 5 of those etc etc. The sales people were falling over their feet trying to get everything gift-wrapped as she pointed them out. I was in absolute AWE and watched the whole thing with my mouth wide open (probably). Apparently she''s a HUGE spender with MONEY, but just didn''t like to show it. That incident really taught me not to judge a book by it''s cover, because she out-spent me by at least 20X!