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Road rage

Tonks

Tonks

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 27, 2017
Messages
1,660
Took my son out to lunch today, and we had to drive through one of the worst designed intersections in our city. You exit the freeway, then you need to merge onto the street where the exit ramp dumps you. But if you want to take the next right, which about 3/4 of the drivers exiting the freeway do, you have to stop at the end of the ramp and wait for a break in oncoming traffic to merge, because you literally have about 50 yards to make it across *three lanes* of traffic before you have to turn right.

That’s the situation I was in today. And I was one of the people who needed to do that right turn so I was stopped at the end of the ramp waiting on a break in traffic. The guy behind me lost his ever loving mind. Honking like crazy—just laying on the horn. Yelling, flipping me off. Mind you, I drive a minivan. With school stickers. And my kid was in the car.

First I thought maybe this guy just didn’t understand that you have to stop there in order to do that crazy right turn. But when I got my break in traffic and did my merge, he zoomed around me. BECAUSE HE WAS MAKING THE SAME TURN. What did he expect me to do? Pull out into oncoming traffic because he was in a hurry?

Unfortunately that wasn’t the end of it. I ended up behind him stopped at a railroad track for a train that was passing. And he kept yelling and berating (from in front of me, it was weird). And then finally he decided not to wait for the train and made a three point turn in the middle of the road and peeled rubber out of there, giving me the finger the whole way.

Did I mention my kid was in the car?

Anyway, curious whether y’all have seen similar episodes of road rage and whether you have any good tips on how to handle it. I was flabbergasted.
 
I think I would have phoned the police with his plate number. If he's that touchy, he could easily cause an accident or run over a pedestrian.
 
HI:

I am sorry for this--it is scary. I actually had someone follow me to the market and get out of their car and scream at me (my bulb was burned out so he didn't see my signal) and made my son cry (he was frightened as I was). I was shocked, but I told him to get away from me or I'd call the police. In retrospect I should have gotten his plate number and call the police afterward but I was stunned.

cheers--Sharon
 
lyra said:
I think I would have phoned the police with his plate number. If he's that touchy, he could easily cause an accident or run over a pedestrian.
Click to expand...

It speaks to how much it rattled me that I sat behind the guy and didn’t even think about taking a photo of his plate. Good grief I’m an idiot.
 
canuk-gal said:
HI:

I am sorry for this--it is scary. I actually had someone follow me to the market and get out of their car and scream at me (my bulb was burned out so he didn't see my signal) and made my son cry (he was frightened as I was). I was shocked, but I told him to get away from me or I'd call the police. In retrospect I should have gotten his plate number and call the police afterward but I was stunned.

cheers--Sharon
Click to expand...

Ack! He got out?!?! Yeah, you did exactly the right thing. Probably would have provoked him to photograph the plate or write it down (assuming he could see you).
 
Maybe an obvious dashcam might help. I know it would help me if I'd been rattled like that. The info would be there--there are mirror cams, rearview cams and frontview cams. Would be helpful for insurance purposes too.
 
Ignore it if possible. If it looks like the person is going to attack you, call 911 or drive to the closest police station. If you’re on a highway and not near an exit, turn on your flashers.
 
I agree with @Madam Bijoux . Ignore and dont take any bait. Sure is annoying though. Some people drive really aggressive and expect other
people to drive the same way or they get ticked off.
 
How awful for you and scary. You just never know what’s wrong with these people - drugs, drunk or just scum of the earth.
hope You are feeling better.
 
People are crazy and unfortunately you don't know who has a gun so I would ignore it, he obviously has major issues.

Wouldn't want to be his dog/cat/significant other!
 
That's horrible......thankfully with a teachable moment lesson for your son ( if he's old enough)- and no bad ending.....
There's a lot of crazies who insist on tailgating....I used to get upset, but.....
It's a great opportunity to let something go. Why get mad- it's their problem, just get safe.
I move over as soon as I can, and never retaliate.
I also try extra hard to not get annoyed when someone is driving slowly. There's just to much risk nowadays.

And you're no idiot for not taking a picture!! At a moment like that, you just need to get safe. If the guy saw you taking a picture, it might have made things worse.....
 
I’m glad you got away safely. That man sounds mentally unstable.
 
I drive in Brooklyn daily, so yes, I've seen some stuff I keep a dashcam recording at all times and call 911 with plate #s as needed. It's rough out there!
 
Sorry you had to live through this.especially with your son an board. Dash cams are handy in these situations . I live in a very densely populated metropolitan area with bad traffic, so I be had my share of crazy/offensive/ illegal/dangerous. I try to let go of any anger asap, but sometimes it takes a while to calm down . . . ((Hugs))
 
Terrifying @Tonks and I am so sorry you had to experience this. Like @Asscherhalo_lover we drive in Brooklyn often and my dh likes to say it is lawlessness out there. It's like the wild wild west at times. No rules just mere suggestions it seems. And like I was writing to @Karl_K in another thread if people were legally allowed to carry weapons in Brooklyn we might all be in big trouble. Road rage is real and often prevalent.

Glad you maintained your calm and common sense and got out of there. You did it all exactly right. But oh so sorry you and your child had to experience this. SMH. There are some scary reactive and mentally unstable people out there. (((Hugs))).
 
Interesting that so many of you have mentioned dash cams. The only context in which I’ve ever heard of dash cams is police use. I had no idea everyday citizens used them. Fortunately this is not a regular occurrence for me (hence why it rattled me), so I don’t feel compelled to go out and get one yet...but it’s nice to know that’s an option. Would be curious to know how that works for those of you who have them. Do you store the recording on a local hard drive and only keep it if there’s some kind of incident?

Rockdiamond said:
That's horrible......thankfully with a teachable moment lesson for your son ( if he's old enough)- and no bad ending.....
There's a lot of crazies who insist on tailgating....I used to get upset, but.....
It's a great opportunity to let something go. Why get mad- it's their problem, just get safe.
I move over as soon as I can, and never retaliate.
I also try extra hard to not get annoyed when someone is driving slowly. There's just to much risk nowadays.

And you're no idiot for not taking a picture!! At a moment like that, you just need to get safe. If the guy saw you taking a picture, it might have made things worse.....
Click to expand...

Tried to use it as a teachable moment, for sure! It was the first time he had seen anything like that.
 
kipari said:
Sorry you had to live through this.especially with your son an board. Dash cams are handy in these situations . I live in a very densely populated metropolitan area with bad traffic, so I be had my share of crazy/offensive/ illegal/dangerous. I try to let go of any anger asap, but sometimes it takes a while to calm down . . . ((Hugs))
Click to expand...

The bizarre thing is that we live in a major metro area, too. People can (and do) drive like idiots, but this is the first real road rage behavior I’ve seen. Of course, my daily travel is pretty limited...I suppose if I had a huge commute I would be seeing other things.
 
I had a guy follow me not long ago. I was going up a hill on a four lane road (2 each direction) and needed to change lanes to make a right turn. I slowed down to get behind him, he slowed down super slow so I couldn't. I sped up, he sped up. Tried again. He almost slowed to a stop. What the heck. Finally, as he was almost stopped I punched it and got in front of him and turned into my neighborhood. He followed me with his lights on high beam. I pulled into the first cup de sac. I wasn't going to let him follow me home, so I just sat there. I had two of my adult kids with me.
I was just going to sit there till he went home but both my daughter and son jumped out of the car and the explicitives were flying. I was scared for them. The guy was drunk or high and his wife got him to leave. Its a good thing, cuz you don't want to mess with my two when they are that mad, lol.
 
What a scary situation @Tonks. I’m afraid nothing surprises me these day, I was driving back to the airport on Sunday, and even though I was indicating to move lane, as the lane I was in was ending, the moron behind me, decided to speed up, rather than let me out. I had no choice but to put my foot down and move lane, and basically cut in front of him. Slowing down wasn’t an option, I was running out of road, and couldn’t just stop. I’d given plenty of notice I wanted to change lanes, I suppose he was just too impatient to give way. Fortunately, the car I was driving was bigger than his, so I just went for it. I’ve had a dashcam for a few years now, and I always take it with me to the US, even more important IMO in case I’m involved in an accident, than here at home.
 
Y’ALL. I cannot believe I didn’t know about dash cams until now. I’ve just gone down the rabbit hole (there’s a whole reddit devoted to the things) and it seems like a great idea. If they look like what I think they look like, I’ve seen them all over the place and assumed they were people’s phones mounted so they could see their GPS better.

What brand of dash cams do you have, and would you recommend them?
 
luv2sparkle said:
I had a guy follow me not long ago. I was going up a hill on a four lane road (2 each direction) and needed to change lanes to make a right turn. I slowed down to get behind him, he slowed down super slow so I couldn't. I sped up, he sped up. Tried again. He almost slowed to a stop. What the heck. Finally, as he was almost stopped I punched it and got in front of him and turned into my neighborhood. He followed me with his lights on high beam. I pulled into the first cup de sac. I wasn't going to let him follow me home, so I just sat there. I had two of my adult kids with me.
I was just going to sit there till he went home but both my daughter and son jumped out of the car and the explicitives were flying. I was scared for them. The guy was drunk or high and his wife got him to leave. Its a good thing, cuz you don't want to mess with my two when they are that mad, lol.
Click to expand...

That is terrifying! I’ve always read that if someone is following you like that, you should drive to the police station or another well populated place. Truly scary with your kids.

Austina said:
What a scary situation @Tonks. I’m afraid nothing surprises me these day, I was driving back to the airport on Sunday, and even though I was indicating to move lane, as the lane I was in was ending, the moron behind me, decided to speed up, rather than let me out. I had no choice but to put my foot down and move lane, and basically cut in front of him. Slowing down wasn’t an option, I was running out of road, and couldn’t just stop. I’d given plenty of notice I wanted to change lanes, I suppose he was just too impatient to give way. Fortunately, the car I was driving was bigger than his, so I just went for it. I’ve had a dashcam for a few years now, and I always take it with me to the US, even more important IMO in case I’m involved in an accident, than here at home.
Click to expand...

The accident angle is something I hadn’t thought about, but is very compelling. I’m going to do more research on these things to see how inconspicuous they can be. Do you leave yours on the dash when you get out of the car? I would hate to have to remember to do something else.
 
How horrible for you Tonks
My other half brought a dash cam last week becsuse peoole drive like they got their licences from corn flake packets around here - although mostly they are curtious
 
I leave it in the car all the time @Tonks. We recently bought our son a front and rear dashcam, just as important in case you‘re rear ended, which has happened to our future DIL twice in the space of a year.

TBH I don’t care if they’re conspicuous, if it makes other drivers more careful, then that’s a bonus.
 
Tonks the most important things for dashcam (IMO) are that they stay in all the time and record ALL the time. I have many friends whose cars were hit in the street while they were sleeping and that's how they proved no fault and got their insurance to pay.
 
@Tonks I feel your pain. It makes no sense to us of sound mind why someone can't properly assess a traffic situation and drive with patience and common sense. His rage was unfounded and frankly, insane. I didn't think about dash cams, reading the replies here I think I may consider one too.

Recently we witnessed an incident where a cyclist had a car come too close to him. He sped up and banged on the car's window at a stop sign; we were right behind all of this. There was shouting and cursing, and then the driver got out and the two of them continued shouting at each other. My whole family was in the car. I stopped a distance back. I locked the doors and told DH to record with his phone. We didn't know what to do, we sort of froze. Much to our relief the driver got back into his car without the two coming to blows. However they continued shouting at each other and he got out of his car and approached the cyclist a second time! Spit and swears were flying and we thought oh this is it, they're going to come to blows this time! What do we do?!?? Miracle of miracles they did not come to blows. Finally the driver got in his car and the two went off in opposite directions like nothing happened. It happened so fast yet so slow, DH wanted to get the license plate which precluded him calling the police and I had to remain in control of my vehicle in case we needed to get the hell outta there fast.

We were so shook up. DH called the police afterward to let them know that if a cyclist came by to report an altercation, we had it on video. From the yelling we picked up that the driver was on his phone and came too close to the cyclist when he passed him. I saw that part, he did swerve toward the cyclist as he passed.
 
rainydaze said:
@Tonks I feel your pain. It makes no sense to us of sound mind why someone can't properly assess a traffic situation and drive with patience and common sense. His rage was unfounded and frankly, insane. I didn't think about dash cams, reading the replies here I think I may consider one too.

Recently we witnessed an incident where a cyclist had a car come too close to him. He sped up and banged on the car's window at a stop sign; we were right behind all of this. There was shouting and cursing, and then the driver got out and the two of them continued shouting at each other. My whole family was in the car. I stopped a distance back. I locked the doors and told DH to record with his phone. We didn't know what to do, we sort of froze. Much to our relief the driver got back into his car without the two coming to blows. However they continued shouting at each other and he got out of his car and approached the cyclist a second time! Spit and swears were flying and we thought oh this is it, they're going to come to blows this time! What do we do?!?? Miracle of miracles they did not come to blows. Finally the driver got in his car and the two went off in opposite directions like nothing happened. It happened so fast yet so slow, DH wanted to get the license plate which precluded him calling the police and I had to remain in control of my vehicle in case we needed to get the hell outta there fast.

We were so shook up. DH called the police afterward to let them know that if a cyclist came by to report an altercation, we had it on video. From the yelling we picked up that the driver was on his phone and came too close to the cyclist when he passed him. I saw that part, he did swerve toward the cyclist as he passed.
Click to expand...

I have to add that in certain situations even rational people can lose it. My DH and I are avid cyclists and we have come to more than a few near accidents because of sloppy inattentive and uncaring motorists.

We are very safe cyclists but unfortunately have encountered many unsafe drivers during our cycling adventures. Generally I let it go but there are times I yell at the driver to pay attention and perhaps I wave my fist. Lol. But honestly some situations drive me crazy. When a passenger opens the car door without looking. When a motorist turns right and doesn’t noice us and almost hits us. If not for our defensive cycling we’d be dead many times over. Not exaggerating. Pisses me off so yeah sometimes I lose it. My DH always (mostly) remains cool and collected but I can get very hot headed indeed.

The most recent encounter was with a driver who was driving straight and we were in the cycling lane to the right and all of a sudden she swerved to get a parking spot literally coming within a quarter of an inch of hitting us. Greg swerved quickly saving us but our bike is long and not easily maneuvered quickly plus she should have been paying attention cmon!

So I yelled at her hey didn’t you see us? Be more careful! and she sheepishly replied I didn’t see you. No sorry, nothing. That infuriated me further. So I yelled well you need to get your eyes checked or perhaps shouldn’t be driving at all. You’re a menace on the road! And I don’t feel one bit sorry at saying that either. Sheesh. Some people are so freaking dangerous driving. :nono:
 
Are you in Austin? Sounds like the exit at 360 and MoPac. No one should ever stop to change lanes, I understand why people do it, and when I am at the intersection I expect it but many newbies could crash int a car that is stopped.. if you are an Austinite I feel for you at this intersection it's known as one of the worst in this land of crazzzy assed drivers.
 
@missy I don't understand the animosity some drivers have towards cyclists, and other drivers lack of basic consideration for and understanding of sharing the road.

DH and I were worried for the cyclist - he was vulnerable when the car swerved toward him and he was vulnerable if they driver started attacking him. The driver could get in his car to protect himself and/or leave, the cyclist had no way to protect himself other than put his bike between them. My mind was racing in preparation for what to do if they driver went after the cyclist and how we could effectively try to help him. Thank goodness it didn't come to that. It makes sense that he confronted the driver but nowadays it's scary what that can result in. I'm glad both you and he were not harmed.

The lack of attention and consideration on the road, coupled with egos that won't permit acknowledgement of a mistake or error in judgement is a sad state of affairs.
 
Sorry that happened to you. It's scary and it stays with you a long time. Yes I have faced something similar. Totally irrational driver who for some reason was having a bad day and trying to take it out on me. I was lucky to dissuade him.
 
rainydaze said:
@missy I don't understand the animosity some drivers have towards cyclists, and other drivers lack of basic consideration for and understanding of sharing the road.

DH and I were worried for the cyclist - he was vulnerable when the car swerved toward him and he was vulnerable if they driver started attacking him. The driver could get in his car to protect himself and/or leave, the cyclist had no way to protect himself other than put his bike between them. My mind was racing in preparation for what to do if they driver went after the cyclist and how we could effectively try to help him. Thank goodness it didn't come to that. It makes sense that he confronted the driver but nowadays it's scary what that can result in. I'm glad both you and he were not harmed.

The lack of attention and consideration on the road, coupled with egos that won't permit acknowledgement of a mistake or error in judgement is a sad state of affairs.
Click to expand...

Thanks @rainydaze. I am glad that you and your family and the cyclist remained safe in that upsetting situation. I agree there some motorists who resent cyclists presence on the road. For the most part though people are considerate and respectful and we have had also so much support from motorists and pedestrians alike. Our bike is sort of unique and people often take video of us cycling and most are (very) enthusiastic when they see us. It's very sweet actually.

Here's a security camera view coming back into the driveway.
missyandgregcyclingintodriveway.jpeg.png


But yeah, there are some motorists who seem resentful and angry cyclists share the road with them. SMH but there are some not so nice people out there so I try not to let it upset me. Just when our safety is at risk it gets me angry and I tend to be hot headed (passionate) when I feel angry about a situation. But for the most part people are not annoyed and some are excited when they see us. The truth is we all have a right to be on the road and we should all be respectful of one another and share the road.


sharetheroads.gif
 
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