Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me guess

[drk14]

Dear PSers,
Some of you may have been following my "Marquise Quest" thread and know that I'm in the very preliminary stages of commissioning a custom engagement ring setting (hopefully from VC, if it works out). So now, I'm in the process if figuring out what ring size to specify.

My intended does not know her ring size, and I want a complete surprise, so I can't go to a jewelry store and get her ring finger measured. Instead, I have been sneaking into her jewelry cabinet (Sorry, honey! ) with a set of 0.01-mm precision digital calipers from work , as well as a ring sizing mandrel. Unfortunately for me, almost all of her rings are gifts (from gift givers who have guessed her ring size) or heirloom/hand-me-downs; she has never had any ring resized to fit her perfectly. As a result, there's a lot of variety in the sizes of her rings. Thus, I need some advice about how to make sense of the information I have been able to gather:

Ring #1
Size on mandrel: US 6.5
ID: 16.89 x 16.88 mm
Shank width: 2.36 mm
This is the ring she currently wears every day on the ring finger of her left hand. It used ot belong to someone in her family and was handed down (she did not get it sized to her own finger). It seems to fit her well (no obvious air gap and no "muffin" finger). I have not had a chance to observe her putting it on or taking it off (in order to judge how much effort is needed to get it across the knuckle). I did see her spin it around once, so it's not sufficiently tight to prevent spinning (however, she's not constantly twirling it around, either, like she does with her RHR, which I think is a larger size).

Ring #2
Size on mandrel: US 7
ID: 17.3 x 17.4 mm
Shank width: 2.55 mm
This is an old ring that I saw her put on her left hand ring finger recently, when she was going through some old jewelry. It seemed to fit (although I didn't get a great look at the fit, because she removed it almost immediately). What struck me was that she had to struggle a bit to get this ring past the knuckle of her finger. Based on this observation, I would have thought this ring was smaller than (or at least the same size as) Ring #1, so I was quite surprised when I made the measurements later. I find it hard to imagine that every day, she has to push even harder than what I saw with Ring #2, to put on Ring #1.

Ring #3
Size on mandrel: US 8
ID: 17.9 x 18.8 mm
Shank width: 2.3 mm
This is an old claddagh that she used to wear maybe 15 years ago. I don't recall whether it was a LHR or RHR, though. Maybe I should just ignore this one.


So, what's my best bet? It would be great if we can avoid having to resize the ring, so I want to pick the size carefully.

In addition to the inconsistency of ring sizes among Rings #1, #2, and #3, I am concerned about the possible need to get a larger ring size if she wants to stack the e-ring with a wedding band. I have read conflicting information about this phenomenon (the mysteries of the female species!), with many forum posts confirming the need to get a larger e-ring size to allow stacking, and others saying that they have no problems stacking rings without going to larger sizes.

Oops, this turned out to be a long post -- thanks for reading through it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

I'm sorry. I'm LMAO. You remind me of my husband. When he was buying me my engagement ring he picked a ring I wore sometimes on my ring finger for size, and took it with him to the jeweler and told him to order that size. Then he sneakily returned the ring to my jewelry box. Several days after he had done this I decided to wear the ring (not knowing it had been used as a sizer) and I had a nervous habit with it that I would sometimes take it off my ring finger and put it on my thumb. Well, my husband FREAKED because he thought it meant it was way too big. It wasn't. I just have small thumbs and big ring finger.

I don't have any great advice except this:
Order a 6.75 ish.

Make sure the ring sizable (not pave eternities)

Hope it fits. Size it if it doesn't.

 

[endless_summer]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

Go with Gypsy's guess at the size - 6.75 can be easily sized up to a 7 or down to a 6.5 (if it's a plain shank), OR you can get a quarter sizing bridge to bring it down to 6.5 (good for swelling in the summer or knuckles that are larger than finger size). Assuming the 6.5 isn't a pinky ring, I'll bet she wears the larger rings on her right hand or index/middle fingers.

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

Thanks ES & Gypsy!

Assuming the 6.5 isn't a pinky ring, I'll bet she wears the larger rings on her right hand or index/middle fingers.

The 6.5 (Ring #1) she definitely wears on the ring finger of her left hand. Every day. And the size 7 (Ring #2) I saw her put onto that very same finger, with my own eyes (and it was a bit of a struggle getting it on).

The size 8 claddagh, on the other hand, well I don't remember -- back then, she used to wear rings on many fingers (but I thought claddaghs were commonly worn as LHR, so I assumed). And in my post above, I didn't mention even the size 6 ring that I found in her jewelry cabinet. I'm going to assume that one was a pinky ring.

 

[Kilda]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

if she wears that one on her left ring finger every day I think it's safe to say that it fits her comfortably. I'd go with the size of that ring.

 

[VRBeauty]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

The shape of the shank could account for the difficulty your GF seemed to have in putting on the larger ring - a band that's nicely contoured on the inside will usually go on much more easily than one with more sharply angled edges. Or maybe she was just having a bad finger day when you saw her trying on the size 7 ring!

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

The shape of the shank could account for the difficulty your GF seemed to have in putting on the larger ring

Maybe... I'll have to go back and look at the size 7 ring. I know the size 6.5 that she currently wears as her LHR has a shank that gets thinner going up towards the basket, so the 2.36 mm thickness at the bottom of the shank is actually the thickest part.

In the meantime, tonight at dinner, I saw her twirling the 6.5 LHR again. I noticed it was pulling the skin of her finger a bit when whe was spinning the ring around, so I'm guessing this ring is a "perfect" fit in the sense that if it were even a little bit smaller, it would be too small. When she's not spinning it, it's not deforming her skin at all, and as Kilda noted, it must be comfortable if she weras it every day.

This being said, I think the shank of the ring sits right in that crease where the finger meets the hand, which I think is a narrower part of the finger. Is this why you need a larger size when you stack with a wedding band? Because now the wedding band is in the "crease", so the e-ring has to shift up to a wider part of the finger?

So right now I'm leaning towards 6.75, but is an extra +0.25 enough to allow stacking? It's only a 0.2-mm difference in diameter.

Since I'm getting a custom setting, should I consider asking for a non-standard size, like 6-7/8 (6.875)?

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

VR has a good point. Can you post pictures of the first and second rings?

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

This is the 6.5 size that she currently wears. I have lightly disguised the head for paranoia and privacy reasons , so you'll have to excuse the lack of eye candy. It's a delicate vintage ring, and even though the picture isn't great, I think you can tell that the shank becomes thinner in the shoulders. The inside edges of this shank appear to be slightly bevelled, I don't know if it would be considered to be "contoured", though.



The other ring (the size 7), I don't have a picture of. I don't know when I'll have an opportunity to get another look at it, but if I'm able to take a picture of the shank, I'll post it.


Unrelated, I just thought of something else. She moisturizes her hands frequently, several time a day. I bring this up because I assume she'll be taking her e-ring off while applying the moisturizer, which means whe will have to remove and put the ring back on her finger frequently. Would this be a reason to possibly go a bit bigger in size (like 7)?

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

No. When she puts it back on, you don't want it flying off since her fingers will be all greased up.

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

No. When she puts it back on, you don't want it flying off since her fingers will be all greased up.

Good point!

 

[Niel]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

Just so I'm clear.

She always wears a 6.5. She sometimes wears a 7?

I'd get a 6.75. Or a loose 6.5. A loose 6.5 is in between a 6.5 and 6.75

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

Just so I'm clear.

She always wears a 6.5. She sometimes wears a 7?

No, she doesn't wear the size 7, per se. It was tucked away in an old jewelry box, that she dug up the other night when she was looking for something. She put on the ring for all of 5 seconds, just for fun, when she came across it. But I noticed that she struggled a bit getting it past her knuckle, so I thought this ring would make a good lower limit for what a good ring size might be.

But that theory was ruined when I later found out that her daily LHR was actually smaller than the size 7 ring...

 

[Niel]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

Have you noticed her having particularly large knuckles compared to her finger? Are they nobby?

 

[tuckie]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

drk I have been happily lurking following your posts. I am certain your intended is going to be so thrilled with all of the thoughtful efforts you have made in finding her the perfect ring.
Pardon my obviousness here, but why again can't we just have her get properly sized? I know that you are hoping for some mystery in this process, but is this really not an option?

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

Have you noticed her having particularly large knuckles compared to her finger? Are they nobby?

Niel, wow, this had me laughing! "Nobby"??? No, her fingers are perfectly proportioned and beautiful!

See for yourself:




Tuckie, thanks for your post, glad to hear you've been following my saga. I really do want this to be a complete surprise, so I wouldn't tip my hand unless I'm completely stuck. With the ring size, it's not the end of the world if I'm off by a little, because I plan to get a resizeable shank. I just want to increase my chances of everything being perfect...

 

[Niel]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

Have you noticed her having particularly large knuckles compared to her finger? Are they nobby?

Niel, wow, this had me laughing! "Nobby"??? No, her fingers are perfectly proportioned and beautiful!

See for yourself:




Tuckie, thanks for your post, glad to hear you've been following my saga. I really do want this to be a complete surprise, so I wouldn't tip my hand unless I'm completely stuck. With the ring size, it's not the end of the world if I'm off by a little, because I plan to get a resizeable shank. I just want to increase my chances of everything being perfect...

haha don't worry, even if she had nobby knuckles she can still be perfect lots of us here have them

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

haha don't worry, even if she had nobby knuckles she can still be perfect lots of us here have them

LOL, ok maybe I'm just not familiar with the term. I was picturing something like this:

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

VR has a good point. Can you post pictures of the first and second rings?

OK, so I was able to take some pictures showing shank of the old Size 7 ring (the one that I saw her put on once, and there was resistance going across the knuckle):

The width of the shank is 2.55 mm at the bottom, and gets wider going up the shank.

This is compared to the Size 6.5 ring (the one she wears every day; I don't know whether or not she struggles getting it past her knuckle):

The width of the shank is 2.36 mm at the bottom, and gets narrower going up the shank (at least until it reaches the basket -- there's a 6-mm diameter donut on this one).

Does this solve the mystery?

 

[Niel]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

is it how wear you live right now? usually people have larger fingers in how weather vs cold weather. If she usually wears a 6.5 id get a 6.5, a loose 6.5 or a 6.75. Id bet whichever you pick she will fir into, but sense shell be wearing a w band too, probably save to get a 6.75

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

It's not super hot or humid. We're in the north-east, Delaware Valley area. Summers have highs in the 80's, lows in the 60's.

Oh, and that size 6 that I mentioned in passing above (which I thought was a pinky ring)? Well I just came across a picture showing that she was wearing it as her left-hand ring-finger ring, only four years ago.

I guess I'm leaning towards either a 6.5 or a "loose 6.5" now. From past forum posts, it seems that not everybody needs to go up in ring size when they stack with a w-band, so it may be unneccessary to get it larger ahead of time. We can always resize the e-ring while shopping for a wedding band if it turns out that stacking makes the e-ring too tight.

 

[msop04]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

It's not super hot or humid. We're in the north-east, Delaware Valley area. Summers have highs in the 80's, lows in the 60's.

Oh, and that size 6 that I mentioned in passing above (which I thought was a pinky ring)? Well I just came across a picture showing that she was wearing it as her left-hand ring-finger ring, only four years ago.

I guess I'm leaning towards either a 6.5 or a "loose 6.5" now. From past forum posts, it seems that not everybody needs to go up in ring size when they stack with a w-band, so it may be unneccessary to get it larger ahead of time. We can always resize the e-ring while shopping for a wedding band if it turns out that stacking makes the e-ring too tight.

OP... I know you want everything to be just perfect, but try not to make it all so stressful and finite!! Yo! Chill out, guy!!

As long as you're not ordering an eternity style, then the ring should be perfectly okay to be sized up or down a size. Not sure? Don't worry -- order a 6.5 or 6.75 and be done with it. Your FF WILL NOT CARE if it's a little loose (which is better than too tight, because she'll wanna wear it right when you propose). Realistically, there is no way to get it perfectly right all the time -- not if you are dead set on a complete surprise... so just DO. IT. ALREADY. and propose to your girl!!

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

LOL yea I must come across like basketcase to a lot of you guys!

Frankly, I can't help worrying about every little detail, but posting my ramblings here helps me organize my thoughts for myself, more than anything. Although I've been getting a lot of very useful feedback and info, I'm not expecting to receive a response to every little worry I post about!

And the other thing that's going on is that I'm still waiting for a response from VC, so I've kind of been stuck in limbo for the past week. I really do want to move forward with finishing the ring and proposing as soon I can, but I'm currently held up until I hear back from VC. So what else can I do with my time now but try to figure out some of the remaining details, like the perfect ring size?

 

[Niel]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

You're suppose to hear back soon. Right?

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

You're suppose to hear back soon. Right?

I have no idea how much time he will need to get back to me.

When I initially spoke to him on the phone, he said the design process would start with me sending inspiration pictures, and that the two of us would then bounce some ideas off each other by email. I sent him the inspiration slide deck on August 10, and emailed him 3 days later to confirm receipt. At that time, he wrote that he had received my slides but that he hadn't "had a chance to really sit down and consider the possibilities for [my] stone yet." Since August 14, I haven't heard anything, though.

So, I'm kind of going crazy waiting!

 

[Scarlett1]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

First off,
I have followed your other thread and just cannot wait to see this ring, it really is going to be incredible and your fiancé will be blown away!!

Ha ha, the dreaded find out her finger size mission lol. I'd personally go for 6.75, I'd definitely be in the camp that slightly too big is better than slightly too small. Technically my ring size is a 6 (when measured) but I always tend to go for 6.75, I really hate when rings are too tight, but this is a preference, I don't mind the spin

Good luck with the rest of the ring process and an extra extra good luck for the proposal. Dying to see handshots

 

[drk14]

Re: Ring size mystery and knuckle resistance -- help me gues

First off,
I have followed your other thread and just cannot wait to see this ring, it really is going to be incredible and your fiancé will be blown away!!

Ha ha, the dreaded find out her finger size mission lol.

Thanks, Scarlett!

Yea, last night at dinner she caught me looking a little too intently at her fingers! lol, oops
I have to be more careful or I'm going to get caught!

But I did come away with some good observations.

Her phalanges are very slender, so even the 6.5 ring can slide under its own weight up and down the finger when she has her hand pointed down or up, respectively. And she does manage to get this ring across her knuckle several times a day, notwithstanding her troubles with that old size 7 ring (I'm thinking now that the resistance I observed with the size 7 ring may have had more to do with the thickness of the shank, and the oxidization layer on the metal surface).