Ring or No Ring?

[shurikt]

I want to give my beautiful girlfriend a ring that she will love forever, just like me! Thanks to people like you, I know all about how to choose a stone, but I'm nervous about my ability to choose the proper setting. I've rummaged through the jewelry she has now, but there's no common theme: Gold, silver, art deco, art nouveau, filigree, plain, modern, antique, etc.

So I can probably get her anything...but on the other hand (sorry) she's going to wear this ring for the rest of her life, right?

So I think I have four options:
1. A loose diamond (round brilliant) and we can pick out the setting together.
2. Pick out the ring that *I* like the best.
3. A diamond with a "placeholder" setting that she can upgrade later.
4. Bag the surprise altogether and take her with me to the shop.

I'm leaning toward #1. Good? Bad?

 

[scaasi]

I usually recommend to customers who have the same problem to set the diamond in a plain solitaire (with no charge), then come back with her, or visit our site to choose or design her favorite setting.

This way you can propose and keep the surprise, then have her design or choose the style she likes best - everybody wins this way...

scaasi

 

[Tarams]

Definitely, option #3.

I say this because most places will include a simple gold solitare setting at no additional cost. That way, she can wear it (which she will want to do) until you find the right setting together. And maybe she won't want anything more than a solitare setting anyway.

 

[dottie]

I've also heard of getting a nice CZ ring - as to not ruin the "surprise" of proposing. Then once you are officially engaged you can go pick out something together.

Just another option.

 

[student]

I've been trying to figure out exactly the same thing!!!

I don't think any of the options is a bad one. They all have their advantages and disadvantages. I've been leaning toward #1 myself. I'm hesitant about #2 for the same reasons you are. #4 doesn't seem necessary, unless you think she might have a strong preference for a fancy shape that you don't know about. If you've done a lot of research about buying a diamond, you're almost sure to get a nice one she will like, so why not have some surprise? Also, #4 makes her more privy to the financial side of things, which could be awkward (for example, she might feel guilty about how much you want to spend on her). But one reason I'm hesitant about #3 is that I think proposing with a ring might endow it with some sentimental attachment, making it a bit awkward just to throw the setting away afterward. I'm not saying that #3 is a bad idea or that other people are wrong to recommend it. I just thought I'd share one consideration which seems to me to favour #1 over #3.
I guess in the end it really comes down to personal preferences. Some people place more importance on doing things traditionally, others like to pick out things for themselves, others have greater sentimental attachments to objects. It all depends.

I don't think you can really go wrong, though, if you're devoting a lot of thought to the matter, which you obviously are. Things aren't going to be like in the movies, and there's no reason to think they should be.

 

[shurikt]

Thanks, It looks like I'm going with #3. The only reason that it concerned me is that she will get attached to the setting. But that's okay too now isn't it!

Ugh, I'm in Las Vegas now, and my choices for B&M diamond retailer are very slim. I had the most harrowing experience at a shop that's been in business for a very long time. So are people who do research before they buy that much in the minority? I said Hearts & Arrows, and the "diamond expert" (since 1987, she said) said "What was that term you used?"

I also asked to see a loupe and she gave me some wonky, greasy thing attached to her keychain. How am I supposed to see anything through that?

 

[student]

Best of luck! I had a similar experience: a Hearts on Fire retailer told me that HoF was the only "perfectly" cut diamond--in fact, that it was the only diamond to get a OOO cut grade! You'd think that if diamonds were your job you would know as much as is easy to find out from a few hours on the internet.

 

[jknapper]

what's up with the HOF Retailers??? Actually it is quite entertaining going from store to store - they all have a different song and dance. Understanding that HOF claims to be perfect, but is it possible to get a bad stone that is HOF branded?

Secondly.. WONKY?????? cool word!

 

[shurikt]

http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=wonky

Use it well...

 

[song]

I would go with number 3 as well. If she gets attached to the temporary setting, what harm? If she does want to replace it, then keep the original setting and pop a sapphire or ruby in it for you first wedding anniversary and she can wear it on her right hand.

I love my collection of rings because I keep redesigning them with different stones. My husband is a very tolerant man. *l* ~song

 

[shurikt]

Wow, Song... where did you dredge up this 8 month old post?

I guess to finish the story, I didn't choose option #3. I was afraid that she would get too attached to the placeholder setting (and I think I would have been right).

I went with option #2. Some settings looked ugly to me or too ostentatious, and some didn't. I picked a setting that I thought looked classy and wouldn't look outdated in 20 years. From the reaction I got, apparently I did a pretty good job.

Hehe, maybe somebody can respond to this post again in 20 years and I'll let you know how I did.