Ring or Cash???

[chrissss]

so ... he let me choose between 3 carat ring or cash...ring would cost about 40k, and since we now live in singapore , he thinks not many people here wear diamond rings plus his mom only wears a 1 carat ring, so he let me choose....I've always wanted a ring....but i know he would prefer it if i go for a smaller ring or just wear my band..what you guys think??

 

[Dreamer_D]

So he will buy you a $40k ring or give you $40k if you agree to marry him? I just want to be clear. The latter sounds a little like... welll, I won't say what it sounds like

 

[yssie]

I'll take the 40k

 

[Dreamer_D]

I'll take the 40k

Would you not find it odd if your BF gave you a check for the proposal? I suppose on one hand its no different than a ring, but on the other hand it is totally different.

And Yssie I think if you asked around you could find a nice man to give you $40k to marry him Mail order brides are big business.

 

[chrissss]

it's not a proposal, we already got married, there was just a lot going on so we decided to purchased to ring after the wedding.

 

[chrissss]

sorry....should be my hustband

 

[yssie]

I'll take the 40k

Would you not find it odd if your BF gave you a check for the proposal? I suppose on one hand its no different than a ring, but on the other hand it is totally different.

And Yssie I think if you asked around you could find a nice man to give you $40k to marry him Mail order brides are big business.

And I went and settled for a grad student, what was I thinking?


3ct + setting at 40k... J SI/VS2?

 

[Dreamer_D]

it's not a proposal, we already got married, there was just a lot going on so we decided to purchased to ring after the wedding.

If it is your husband it is already your money, no? So really the choice is, do you want a $40k rock or not? In your shoes I would not buy a $40k rock. Maybe $20k would be ample for a great diamond!

 

[Gypsy]

I don't get it. Is it just savings? And how much do you have in savings already? Do you have a house? Do you have cars? Debt?

I mean... you are already married so... it really depends on everything else. And a good three carat will cost you 65-70k not 40.

 

[Christina...]

I may be misunderstanding the situation too, but I'm wondering if OPs husband will allocate the funds for a ring, or if she decides not to purchase the ring, she can allocate those funds to some other things that gives her enjoyment?

Oh and just so you know, we have some PSers from Singapore that have the most incredible collection of bling! It was my understanding that many women there have beautiful collections? no?

 

[Missy]

That's a no brainer to me. I would take the money to buy yourself the perfect ring. But as Gypsy pointed out 40K will not go far in terms of buying an ideal 3 carat. But you could buy a perfect (smaller carat size) ER with that budget for sure!! Get the ring!!! (As long as you can afford to that is).

 

[justginger]

If you're in the financial place to comfortably spend the money, and you WANT a ring, why the dilemma? If you've got outstanding bills, or a steep mortgage, student loans, etc, perhaps rethink. But I guess if you're considering spending THAT MUCH money on a ring, it doesn't sound to me like you're hard up for funds.

 

[motownmama]

Take the cash and put it in an account for a rainy day..............................

 

[mandasand]

Interesting situation. If he wants to buy you a smaller ring, then maybe just do that. It's not like a 1-2 ct diamond is considered small and you can always set it in a halo. Also, maybe you don't have a leg to stand on because you already agreed to marry him without him getting an engagement ring. You can't really expect an engagement ring after the I Dos!

I'm a little confused too because you came here worried about asking him for a $4000 wedding band would be too much and you would feel guilty. But, you don't feel guilty if he drops $40k on an engagement ring or writes you a check for $40k? Just curious.

 

[Enerchi]

Take the cash and put it in an account for a rainy day..............................

Sounds like a very practical plan, which I tend to lean towards... but the temptation of a nice sparkly , is pretty strong! How about $20K for the rainy day fund and $20K for a diamond ring? That would still get a pretty decent size diamond and lovely setting...

That's probably what I'd go for.

What is your existing wedding band? Maybe if it is a simple one - how about a 5 or 7 stone - finger coverage for sure!

 

[junebug17]

Take the cash and put it in an account for a rainy day..............................

Sounds like a very practical plan, which I tend to lean towards... but the temptation of a nice sparkly , is pretty strong! How about $20K for the rainy day fund and $20K for a diamond ring? That would still get a pretty decent size diamond and lovely setting...

That's probably what I'd go for.

What is your existing wedding band? Maybe if it is a simple one - how about a 5 or 7 stone - finger coverage for sure!

Good suggestions Enerchi! You are so wise!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

You realize you are asking this on a diamond forum.

You can get a really nice 2.0-2.3 ct. F-G VS2 diamond for $40,000. Maybe even a 2.5 if you go down either in color or clarity. If you go to the 1.5-1.9 ct. range, you can get something nice from $20-$30,000.

If a ring is something you'd enjoy and you can obviously afford it, why not?!

We do have members here from Singapore with some of the best diamond jewelry collections we've seen here. But I always recommend thinking about your own social circle and what you'd be most comfortable wearing around your friends, family, and/or coworkers.

 

[webdiva]

Another option is a more ornate setting to give you finger coverage, and a smaller diamond. Bank the rest. Or a more ornate wedding ring, as others have suggestions - some super blingy u-prong eternity!

 

[tyty333]

I would take the cash...buy a $10k-$15K ring that I loved, spend $5k on a trip and save the rest!

 

[Laila619]

I would take the cash...buy a $10k-$15K ring that I loved, spend $5k on a trip and save the rest!

Me, too.

 

[Dancing Fire]

take the $40K then dump him....