Relationship Techniques

[ladypirate]

FieryRed's thread in hangout about couples counseling got me thinking--what sorts of things do you and SO do to stay connected & bring love into your relationship?

For Kris and I, we take time to...ahem...be intimate in some form at least once a day. Doing that really helps us connect and make time for each other even when we get busy with work/other things. Plus, it's a great stress reliever.

So how about you guys? Any good relationship techniques to share with the rest of us?

 

[dragonfly411]

We do lots of little things. Cards, intimacy, singing to each other, cute text messages... we always take time during the week to have time with each other without interruption for others, be it a dinner date, time in our room with the pup, or whatever. Tonight I''m making a cd of love songs... we don''t have a "song" yet. So I''m going to have it in the cd player when he gets home and ask him to dance. Then the cd is his and he better pick one lol.

 

[trillionaire]

Breakfast in bed on the weekends! We take turns

 

[Hera]

1. Date night every week
2. We share intimacy by cuddling and sharing our thoughts
3. We share guilty pleasures like watching the entire two seasons of the show "Rome" and ordering out takeout.
4. We give each other space to enjoy the things we like such as my fondness of the Internet and his love of football.

 

[ams0124]

With our work schedules we both get to take every other Friday off...So on those Fridays it almost feels like we''re playing hookey together and calling in sick to work. It funny b/c we always forget to turn off our alarm clocks on the Thursday nights before we have off so at 5:00am Friday morning when that damned buzzer starts we just turn over and laugh...wiggle ourselves into a really great cuddle and then fall back asleep. When we finially get up (we both like to sleep in) we go and get brunch somewhere, and then we go to the puppy store by our house...Just so I can look b/c I LOVE puppies

, and then we spend the rest of the day together pretty much doing nothing at all. It always a really nice relaxing day.

 

[ladypirate]

I love everyone's ideas!

Another thing we do is cook together a lot. We're both into slow food and so we end up spending a couple of hours making dinner in the evenings. It's something we both really enjoy and it's a fun time to hang out. Even cleaning up the kitchen is fun when we're doing it together (quite the task seeing as we don't have a dishwasher!)

ETA: Trillionaire, I need to get Kris to start making me breakfast in bed...yum! We do waffles a couple weekends a months, which is really fun, but they are rarely eaten in bed!

 

[Dannielle]

1. I wait up every night for him and we have dinner together- no matter what time. Then we usually eat on the couch, cuddling, talking about our day.
2. Weekends we usually have a massive breakfast and then spend a good part of the morning in bed, cuddling.
3. We go the gym together.. Aaron is very much in to fitness so I know he really appreciates it when I take an interest in his hobby.. even if I am struggling to lift 10kg on biceps! lol
BUT.. my absolute favourite thing that we do together, is every so often, we veg out in front of the tv in our PJ''s with either Thai or pizza and watch something really sappy or season after season of ghost whisperer or will & grace.

All in all, lots of cuddling, lots of food!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 9/3/2008 6:05:17 PM
Author: ladypirate

Another thing we do is cook together a lot. We''re both into slow food and so we end up spending a couple of hours making dinner in the evenings. It''s something we both really enjoy and it''s a fun time to hang out. Even cleaning up the kitchen is fun when we''re doing it together (quite the task seeing as we don''t have a dishwasher!)

We love cooking too and also don''t have a dishwasher so I feel your pain! Normally he''ll take all the garbage and whatnot and I''ll do whatever dishes there are. Unfortunately tonight we are eating Arbys because their sandwiches are only a buck a piece and we have no food in the apt or money to buy groceries lol

 

[princesss]

You know, BF and I don't really do anything specifically to stay connected. We both play frisbee, which is a lot of fun and gets us both excited. He bikes and I'm starting (he's on a ride now and I'm...here. I can't bike in the heat. I get too close to passing out).

We try to get to bed at least thirty minutes before we want to sleep so we can talk and decompress. It also gives us great snuggle time.

We also do little (and not-so-little) things if we know it really matters to the other person. I know this seems basic, but it's things like him putting my need for two kitties to love above his discomfort, or my desire to paint the walls of my apartment. And I know how much biking means to him, so I go on hour and a half drives to get a $10 bike rack with him, or keep my apartment cleaner because I know the clutter bothers him, even though he's adamant that I not change my apartment to suit him.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 9/3/2008 6:05:17 PM
Author: ladypirate
I love everyone's ideas!


Another thing we do is cook together a lot. We're both into slow food and so we end up spending a couple of hours making dinner in the evenings. It's something we both really enjoy and it's a fun time to hang out. Even cleaning up the kitchen is fun when we're doing it together (quite the task seeing as we don't have a dishwasher!)


ETA: Trillionaire, I need to get Kris to start making me breakfast in bed...yum! We do waffles a couple weekends a months, which is really fun, but they are rarely eaten in bed!

Making sushi together is a LOT of fun! you can buy a kit, or a book from borders to get ideas. We always do cooked fish to avoid food poisoning, but it is so fun! Fondue nights are also super fun! You can look up recipes online.

Once, I sent him out with his digi cam and told him to come back in an hour with pictures. We he got back, I had acrylic paints, canvas and easels, and we painted our favorite pictures! It was fun, a little long, and his was MUCH better than mine. He kept my picture, and I kept his. (we are long distance)

To me, it is all about little things. Little surprises, little dates, little gestures.

And I bought him a waffle maker a few years ago, but I want to upgrade to the nice flip Belgian waffle kind!!! MMMMMMMMmmmmm... Belgian sweet potato waffles sound amazing....

 

[vita*dolce]

i tuck little love notes into his pockets

we also take care of our dog together, and as silly as it sounds, we''ve really bonded over our little pup!!

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 9/3/2008 8:11:47 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 9/3/2008 6:05:17 PM

Author: ladypirate

I love everyone''s ideas!



Another thing we do is cook together a lot. We''re both into slow food and so we end up spending a couple of hours making dinner in the evenings. It''s something we both really enjoy and it''s a fun time to hang out. Even cleaning up the kitchen is fun when we''re doing it together (quite the task seeing as we don''t have a dishwasher!)



ETA: Trillionaire, I need to get Kris to start making me breakfast in bed...yum! We do waffles a couple weekends a months, which is really fun, but they are rarely eaten in bed!

Making sushi together is a LOT of fun! you can buy a kit, or a book from borders to get ideas. We always do cooked fish to avoid food poisoning, but it is so fun! Fondue nights are also super fun! You can look up recipes online.


Once, I sent him out with his digi cam and told him to come back in an hour with pictures. We he got back, I had acrylic paints, canvas and easels, and we painted our favorite pictures! It was fun, a little long, and his was MUCH better than mine. He kept my picture, and I kept his. (we are long distance)


To me, it is all about little things. Little surprises, little dates, little gestures.


And I bought him a waffle maker a few years ago, but I want to upgrade to the nice flip Belgian waffle kind!!! MMMMMMMMmmmmm... Belgian sweet potato waffles sound amazing....

We have one of the Belgian Waffle Makers--it is AWESOME! We usually just do standard waffles from scratch, but occasionally we''ll throw in some dark chocolate or something for a treat.

Fondue is so yummy! Tonight we made Pad Thai and stir fried greens, which was delicious. Yay for food!

 

[absolut_blonde]

It''s been tough lately as he''s been working a lot (14-15 hr days, sometimes). But a few things we do...

- Snuggle up on the couch & watch a movie or one of our favourite TV shows with a bottle of Shiraz. Last night, it was Entourage S4, which I bought him the other day - it was a ''just because'' gift, poor thing has been so stressed out lately.
- In that vein, we do a lot of small gifts just because. Even if it''s randomly surprising the other with coffee from Tim Horton''s (

). Little gestures go a long way.
- Cook dinner together, or for the other person if they are having a bad/long day. We make breakfast together on the weekends, too, which I love.
- Kiss each other goodbye before work every morning, always. A small thing but a must.
- Go for long walks and just talk
- We are big on the physical contact but not always in a ''bedroom'' way (bedroom has been quite limited lately with the move and staying at his cousin''s place... no real privacy and there''s the baby running around LOL). I''m very touchy feely and love it even if he just plays with my hair while we''re laying on the couch. He likes scalp massages, too.

We aim to have date night every week, as well. That doesn''t always mean going out, sometimes it''s just staying in and doing what I outlined in the first point. But it''s just nice to set aside an evening to reconnect.

 

[sunnyd]

A kiss before we leave everyday. End every call with ''I love you''. Mondays are Wine Mondays where we''ll crack a bottle and just watch tv. Text messages during the day just because.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

We go to bed together every night, and spend 30 minutes talking. Not about work, it''s against bedroom law. But we talk about our relationship, our friends, what we want to do tomorrow. Of course this doesn''t always happen every night, but most nights.

We genuinely enjoy each other....we have friends, and are certainly not home bodies...but we''re also very much into our relationship and what fits us best. We play with our puppies, we watch TV together. During the course of our relationship, our interests have blended so we enjoy doing the same things---and life is better spent together. He''ll go shopping with me...and NOT complain. I''ll watch UFC...and root for my favorite guy sincerely. He''ll go motorcycle riding, I''ll scrapbook. Our time together is very important, but we still make time for our individual hobbies as well. It gives us things to talk about...and stories to share.

Oh, and baby making. We''re TTC, which is proving harder than I planned for.

Things are good.

 

[Clairitek]

- A hug and kiss goodbye every morning before we leave for work. A hug as soon as we get home from work. A smile in the morning when we first open our eyes.
- We play our "I love you more than..." game via text message or gmail chat messages. Example "I love you more than the number of molecules of air on earth" or "I love you more than the number of traffic lights on the way to work."
- Watch DVR''d TV shows each night- one for each of us. I like Friends while he likes Seinfeld or Jeopardy!
- Read together in bed at night.

 

[trillionaire]

SO sent me this in an email, I think it makes for a good technique

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 

[Gwyn]

SO and I defintely do the TV thing. EIther whatever is on the Tivo or the latest TV show on DVD we purchased (right now it is Arrested Development and Weeds). Once Dexter and House MD come back, we will be back to watching new shows One thing we like alot of Law and Order/CSI Shows. Its fun to watch and then discuss morals and such afterwards.

We are both huge computer fanatics. For a while (I am talking years here) we would come home each night and play world of warcraft. We are taking a break from that now and exploring the plethora of computer/Xbox360 games currently on the market.

Weekends are our big bonding time. We usually sleep in late, make a huge breakfast together, then spend the rest of the day playing board games (since it is hard to fit in board games on the weekdays because he doesnt come home til around 8pm and with set up and such most of the games we play take a few hours.

We eat dinner together pretty much every night (i usually cook it for when he comes home).

And we go out to eat, just the two of us, atleast once a week. We moved to a new area about a year ago and there are still tons of new places to go to so we try and hit up a new place each time.