blacksand
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2010
- Messages
- 889
Just thought I''d introduce myself. My boyfriend and I have been together about 9 months. Not the longest time, I know, but it’s felt like forever since the first day. He is 31, I am 29, we’ve both had plenty of time to determine what we really want it life, and this is it. It’s the healthiest, happiest relationship I’ve ever been in, and it’s amazing how naturally it comes. In my past relationships, things would be difficult, and I thought it was normal. I believed relationships were work, and I worked diligently at them, only to be disappointed in the long run. With my current boyfriend, although things are not always perfect, I am shocked at how easy it comes. We’re on the same page, we compromise, we put each other first…I never feel like I’m “working on the relationship” on my own. We are a great team.
We’ve discussed marriage, kids, the works, and it’s definitely what we both want. At this point, it’s a question of when. I have been secretly hoping for a proposal on our anniversary, but I don’t know if it will happen. There are a few obstacles here: first, my boyfriend was laid off from his IT job several months ago. Unfortunately, IT jobs are being outsourced en masse in this economy, and he’s just not finding anything now. Most local employers are telling him he’s overqualified, and most jobs he would be qualified for are being outsourced. I know that until he finds something and establishes himself, there will be no proposal. I am working hard to pay off some debts of my own at the moment, so this is probably for the best. The other potential hurdle for him is that he has been married before. No kids, no ties to his ex, nice clean break, but still, I know he worries. He wants to marry me, and has said as much many times, but I still think he has some anxiety. I can understand this. I can only imagine what it would be like to make a lifelong commitment to someone you truly love, only to be left in the dust a few years later when something better comes along for your partner. He has picked himself up and moved on in the almost four years since then, but I know he wants to be completely sure that forever really is forever this time around. I think that’s wise, and I’m willing to give him the time that he needs, and do whatever I can to reassure him that I am NOT going anywhere.
I suppose that’s why I’m joining, really…I do very much want this engagement to happen, as soon as we are ready for it, but I don’t want him to feel any more pressure than I know he already does. I am still hoping that this will be the year for us, but we''ll see. It would be wonderful to have people to talk to when I am feeling impatient. I like people who don''t think I''m crazy!