Rehearsal Dinner Help

[Future Mrs. Sterling]

I need to book our rehearsal dinner site and am trying to figure out for how many people the reservation needs to be. So, this is my question - are the significant others of those in the bridal party/participating in the wedding typically invited to the rehearsal dinner? For example, my sister is my MOH and she has had the same boyfriend for 3 years. Does he get to come? I plan to invite my aunt who is singing - should I also invite her husband to the dinner? Does the Reverend's wife attend as well?

Thanks for your help!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I need to book our rehearsal dinner site and am trying to figure out for how many people the reservation needs to be. So, this is my question - are the significant others of those in the bridal party/participating in the wedding typically invited to the rehearsal dinner? For example, my sister is my MOH and she has had the same boyfriend for 3 years. Does he get to come? I plan to invite my aunt who is singing - should I also invite her husband to the dinner? Does the Reverend's wife attend as well?

Thanks for your help!

Wives should for sure be invited. It's up to you about your sister's boyfriend, but I would think that was the polite thing to do. Another thing to consider is if any groomsmen or bridesmaids aren't local and are bringing a significant other to the wedding. I've gone with BF to several weddings that were out of town. Every time one of us was invited to the rehearsal, both were.

Obviously if budget or space don't allow this, you'll have to think of something else. But wives should always be invited, I think.

 

[mary poppins]

I think spouses and significant others who are invited to the wedding should also be invited to the rehearsal dinner.

 

[mrscushion]

I think spouses and significant others who are invited to the wedding should also be invited to the rehearsal dinner.

I agree.

 

[Haven]

I think spouses and significant others who are invited to the wedding should also be invited to the rehearsal dinner.

I agree.

Me, too.

 

[Amys Bling]

nowadays people assume their SO is invited to the rehearsal dinner along with them... *random dates not so much* but SO yes. So if you decide not to include them, you will have to explicitly announce that, as everyone will assume they can bring them.

I am in the exact same position right now, and as I have been sharing details of the rehearsal & rehearsal dinner with my bridal party, they have all said things like, oh, ok awesome, so-and-so and I will be there on time! So it's an assumption... oh well

 

[turboflgrl]

At first, I thought I would just have everyone invite dates but frankly, it's not an "event" that people need to bring dates to in my opinion. Personally, we did not allow dates to the rehearsal dinner since it was such an intimate gathering to begin with. Most importantly, we also did not want unnecessary people seeing the ceremony flow beforehand.

 

[sillyberry]

At first, I thought I would just have everyone invite dates but frankly, it's not an "event" that people need to bring dates to in my opinion. Personally, we did not allow dates to the rehearsal dinner since it was such an intimate gathering to begin with. Most importantly, we also did not want unnecessary people seeing the ceremony flow beforehand.

We're doing a welcome dinner, so everyone's invited, but just as a note - depending on how you plan the rehearsal dinner, it's perfectly possible to do the rehearsal with only the people necessary and then do the dinner portion.

To me, like OUpeargirl, it isn't about the dinner being an "event," but rather whether the guests are there from out of town or anything. If the members of the bridal party are all in-town residents, I see little harm in just inviting the bridal party. But it's a bit more frustrating if you are traveling with your SO, have to attend a dinner Friday night, and they are left stranded with nothing to do. I mean, assuming they're adults they can manage an evening by themselves, but it's an irritant. And you want a happy bridal party.

 

[Future Mrs. Sterling]

Thanks for all your replies. The main reason I asked this is space. The location I want to use for our rehearsal dinner has a room available that seats 24. It's looking like, if all the SOs come, we will be at 30 people. If not, I could get it down to 25 and we would *just* fit. Otherwise, I have to find somewhere else to have this.

Oh well.

 

[slg47]

when FI was a groomsman I actually assumed I was not invited to the dinner...found out I was the day before and made FI take me to the mall to get me a dress! (I hadn't brought one).

Anyway we are inviting all guests to ours (a barbecue!!!!!) because we have a lot of out of town guests. I think you can do whatever you want but most people will probably expect dates are invited.

 

[sunnyd]

I think spouses and significant others who are invited to the wedding should also be invited to the rehearsal dinner.

I agree.

Me, too.

Me three! Especially your sister's BF of 3 years! Ouch!

 

[Future Mrs. Sterling]

So it seems my best option is to change venue so that all the SOs can be accommodated.

And I'm so happy that it worked out this way because it made me rethink where to have our dinner. Then, I had a brilliant idea - what about the place where we went for our 3rd date 9 and a half years ago??? I called them today and they penciled me in but the owner has to call back to confirm. So ***cross your fingers for me*** that it's available. It's a totally old-school supper club. Been in the same family since 1942 and their food is delicious! I couldn't be happier with this choice!

 

[sillyberry]

So it seems my best option is to change venue so that all the SOs can be accommodated.

And I'm so happy that it worked out this way because it made me rethink where to have our dinner. Then, I had a brilliant idea - what about the place where we went for our 3rd date 9 and a half years ago??? I called them today and they penciled me in but the owner has to call back to confirm. So ***cross your fingers for me*** that it's available. It's a totally old-school supper club. Been in the same family since 1942 and their food is delicious! I couldn't be happier with this choice!

Nice! I love when fate intervenes to make things better. Definitely will keep my fingers crossed!

 

[mary poppins]

So it seems my best option is to change venue so that all the SOs can be accommodated.

And I'm so happy that it worked out this way because it made me rethink where to have our dinner. Then, I had a brilliant idea - what about the place where we went for our 3rd date 9 and a half years ago??? I called them today and they penciled me in but the owner has to call back to confirm. So ***cross your fingers for me*** that it's available. It's a totally old-school supper club. Been in the same family since 1942 and their food is delicious! I couldn't be happier with this choice!

That sounds great! I hope the owner calls you soon to tell you the place is available.

 

[Future Mrs. Sterling]

Called me back last night and penciled me in. Still have to meet to work out the logistics, but it looks like we have our rehearsal dinner venue that holds enough people that I don't have to trim the guest list - yay!

Thanks for all your feedback - I really appreciate it!

 

[Future Mrs. Sterling]

So... I went to the restaurant that I was really pumped about having our rehearsal dinner at to meet with the owner. Picked up FI, drove across town in rush hour traffic, and the owner WASN'T THERE. Not only was he not there, but the bartender that greeted me was less than pleasant when informing that he "obviously forgot" about the appointment. She offered to reschedule, and when I asked if there was any guarantee that he would be there the next time, she flat out said, "no." So now I have to start over with finding a venue for our rehearsal/welcome dinner.

 

[slg47]

what??? that sounds ridiculous. can you call the owner?

 

[Anonymous]

How disappointing! Is there an assistant manager that you might be able to meet with? That sucks!

 

[Future Mrs. Sterling]

It's a family owned business. I'm not going to try to deal with them at all.

I'm looking at an Italian restaurant (local, not a chain) that serves meals family style. Hopefully this place works out because finding a rehearsal dinner location has been more work than finding the venue for our actual wedding reception!