Registry question - how to do this...

[luvthemstrawberries]

We''re having a small family-only wedding in early January. The rest of the extended family and friends will be invited to a reception/party we''re having in (probably) March. It''s not booked yet, so I haven''t been able to send out Save the Dates. I want to send those though, so that people are aware before I get married that there is an event I would like them to be a part of.

I am in the process of making a registry now, since my aunt is hosting a shower for me in December. When I go make this registry, I know that you have to put in your wedding date. So in a normal situation, I''d put January 8. I''ve never done any sort of registry before, but don''t they close it down after a certain amount of time after the wedding date? I thought I''ve heard that some are closed very shortly after the wedding.

So my issue is with the party - if the registry is shut down at a certain time, should I write in the the date on the registry as the date of the party? Something about that just looks weird in my mind. Can you change the date on the registry at any time? FI suggested putting the wedding date on there for now, until about January 8, then go in and change the date to the party date. I just was wondering if any of you guys knew how that could work. My main issue is I don''t want it shutting down, because Mom thinks most guests are going to treat the reception as a normal wedding, as far as bringing gifts goes. So I just don''t want anybody to have issues accessing it. FI also suggested just making a new registry for the party, after the wedding date, since he thinks it will need to be updated at that point anyway. But I don''t think much will change around the wedding date, because the wedding itself is just parents and grandparents, and I don''t expect (or want) them to bring gifts to that.

 

[absolut_blonde]

I''d put the later date. Putting the earlier one may confuse people. And some people send their gifts ahead of time, which means you would get tons of presents way in advance of the actual March date.

I think registries stay open for a decent while after a wedding, but the specifics probably vary store-to-store. You could call and ask, but I think the date of the reception/party is preferable anyway. JMHO.

 

[Morgie44]

Does the family know/understand the situation? If they are aware that you are actually getting married on the 8th, I would put the 8th. The registries stay open for a minimum of 6th months after the wedding date. I believe Bed bath and beyond is 18 months? Anyways, if you guys want/need stuff for your home right away, I would register the 8th, because you get the completion discounts after the event date so if there are things that you really need on there that you don''t get at the shower, you can use your completion discount for those few things instead of waiting and hoping you recieve them at the reception. At our wedding (midwest) we received very few actual gifts (maybe 10 out of 200 guests) at the wedding and probably half of the ones we received were from the registry. If you are from the south this could be very different though.

 

[zipzapgirl]

We got married abroad in a smallish (ca. 50 people) ceremony and then had a party six weeks later in my hometown. I''d go with the later date and here''s why...

Most of our registry was bought up after the wedding and we needed to add things for the party in case anyone wanted to get us something from there for the party and we wanted to have a range of prices, selection, etc. After the wedding date we put in, the registry is essentially closed for adding new items online in most cases (Macy''s and Bed, Bath & Beyond for us). We had to go in and have the bridal consultant manually add the items, which took up an hour of valuable Saturday morning time just before the wedding.

Also, most places give you a completion discount for a limited period after the wedding (guess they want all that wedding cash as well

). For us this went about 6-8 weeks, which still overlapped with our party. We were still waiting to see what gifts might come at the party and Macy''s was ready to wrap it up.

I know it might feel strange to put another date, but honestly, the people coming to the party probably have that date in mind, not your wedding date, since they are coming to the party. I doubt anyone really notices as most people will search your names anyway.

 

[katamari]

Another reason to register for the later date, if you still need convincing: you want your guests to feel like the real "event" is the one they are invited in and not the one they aren''t, even if you don''t see it that way.

I am pretty sure you can always edit the date later, but the store''s site should tell you, too.

I second Morgie and zipzapgirl about the benefit of the completion discount. We did not find it to be so generous in terms of being extended. At Macy''s we were told 30 days and Target sent us a coupon good for 1 month 2-weeks after our reception. Our events were back to back, but with a lag we wouldn''t have used them.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

You guys give some really good reasons - thank you so much for all the input. It''s really good to hear some personal reasons for what you''d do.

I am in the south, and most weddings I''ve been to have a gift table that is covered at the end of the night, so I think that is a pretty normal thing to bring them to the wedding.

I had no idea the registry would close to new items after the date - very valuable info.

And our party will be about 8 weeks after the wedding probably, so depending on how long you have to do that completion discount, that might not even take us to the party.

And Katamari - that''s a really good point of view - thanks for adding that in here.

Sounds like the later date is the way to go - we don''t have that date booked yet though, so do you guys think it would be ok to put the normal wedding date just for now, until we book the party date, then go into the registry and change the date?