Really Upset ....Any Advice

[devientdrow]

Hey everyone! A while ago I posted a thread asking people if they would change their wedding bands. I was surprised and it made me feel good that a lot of you said you would because this is my issue. We purchased my wedding band before I knew anything about diamonds. To be honest, we were at Littmans and it was kind of that thing where your young, and niave and assume because your spending 1k in a "reputable" store it should be good, right? Blah. So anyway we got married on Nov 12th this past year. I remember waking up the very next morning and constantly asking my hubby if he thought the stones looked yellow. I got upset on my honeymoon because I thought something was wrong with it. They seemed very yellow to me, and one of them glowed in the blacklight! (Keeo in mind I knew NOTHING about diamonds hehehe) When we got back we had it checked out they explained flouresence, and pretty much all the sales people stood around saying "Oh this doesn''t look yellow to me....does it look yellow to you sales person bob? Nope? Me neither!" So when I started frequenting pricescope and looking around and learning about diamonds I looked up my wedding band on the Littmans site and it listed that my ring should be color J/K and clarity I1/I2. I looked at it through the loupe and they still look yellow to me, and they do have a lot of inclusions. Strangely enough I don''t think the cut is THAT BAD. They do sparkle and I thought I could even see little arrows in one of them. But there are two things that really bother me:

1. This is highway robbery. The ring we got was listed as $1,690.00. They were running a promotion where it was $690 off so we got the ring for $1,000. For only $100 more than that I could of gotten a plat wedding ring from James Allen with H color stones and SI1 clarity! For the original price of the ring...a 1/2 ct ring mind you I could of gotten a 1ct ring online! It makes me soooo mad to know that we spent really hard earned money to these people, to get such bad quality. I really want to write in to their customer service or something but I doubt it would prove fruitful. I am sooo sorry I didn''t know about pricescope before getting my wedding band!

2. The other thing that makes me upset is, I agree totally with you guys. It''s the marriage that matters not the ring. It could get lost, I could get mugged, it could need to be cut off one day ect ect. But theres just something in me that would have a hard time getting a new wedding band. Theres something special to me about it being the ring that we said our vows with, that our pastor blessed. I even asked somewhere if I could purchase new stones for the band and have it switched out but I was told it couldn''t be done with the type of setting it is. Honestly if I would of spent the big bucks on anything, or hoped to of had quality on something it would of been my wedding band.

So you guys that know anything about settings do you agree? Nothing could be changed out of this setting?

Also what is the deal with baugettes? they are on the side of my ering too. I always thought it was just one of them, but looking through a loupe I think it''s like 5 little ones all together. Is baugette a cut in and of itself? Or just a term for the size?

 

[Dee*Jay]

Devientdrow, first of all let me say that I'm sorry you're upset about your rings. And you did hit the nail on the head--it's the marriage that matters and not the bling--but let's see what we can do about your issues.

Do you like the style of your wedding set? If so I can't imagine a jeweler couldn't replace the stones that bother you with ones that don't. The ring was put together in the first place with these stones, so I don't know of any reason why those stones couldn't be replaced. What if you had broken or lost one for instance, then a new stone would have to be put in anyway.

That last bit was specific to the rounds; are you unhappy with the baguettes too or are you just interested in changing out the rounds? Again, they put those baguettes in there, so I can't think of why they wouldn't be able to put different ones in there.

Now a different track -- will the store take your rings back in trade for another piece of jewelery? Maybe they have better diamonds and you will just have to pay up for them. Or if you want to go the route of a PS vendor for your rings maybe you could trade the rings back to the original store for a different piece of jewelry, like a pendant or bracelet.

Just trying to throw some ideas out here... What do you think?

 

[february2003bride]

I think your wedding set is lovely! I personally, have changed my wedding band a few times since I was married (my e-ring is the same although I may upgrade to a larger princess cut in a few years) and am finally where I have THE rings. You have to wear them, you should have what you want!

I do agree about the sentimentality over the marriage ceremony ring. I guess that''s why I have my first wedding band even though it totally does not sit right with my e-ring and I haven''t worn it in ages.

So are you thinking of getting a new wedding band or set?

 

[devientdrow]

Date: 8/26/2006 11:05:01 AM
Author: Dee*Jay
Devientdrow, first of all let me say that I''m sorry you''re upset about your rings. And you did hit the nail on the head--it''s the marriage that matters and not the bling--but let''s see what we can do about your issues.

Do you like the style of your wedding set? If so I can''t imagine a jeweler couldn''t replace the stones that bother you with ones that don''t. The ring was put together in the first place with these stones, so I don''t know of any reason why those stones couldn''t be replaced. What if you had broken or lost one for instance, then a new stone would have to be put in anyway.

That last bit was specific to the rounds; are you unhappy with the baguettes too or are you just interested in changing out the rounds? Again, they put those baguettes in there, so I can''t think of why they wouldn''t be able to put different ones in there.

Now a different track -- will the store take your rings back in trade for another piece of jewelery? Maybe they have better diamonds and you will just have to pay up for them. Or if you want to go the route of a PS vendor for your rings maybe you could trade the rings back to the original store for a different piece of jewelry, like a pendant or bracelet.

Just trying to throw some ideas out here... What do you think?

Those are some good ideas! I agree with you totally. I looked over the service plan we have for the ring and sure enough in the next 3 years if one of the diamonds fell out they would be responsible to pay for it. I''m VERY interested in replacing the rounds. The baugettes I don''t know much about. Are baugettes just like any other cut? Is there a well cut baugette? A non well cut one?

I''m pretty happy with my set. To be honest it''s nothing like what I would pick right now. I did the thing where I found that wedding band and thought it went so well with the setting of my ering that I got it. I really didn''t think about wanting to wear it alone. But I don''t dislike it eithier. I''d be happy if I could change out the stones in it.

I checked out their policy on trade ups. I can trade my ring in and they will take it back at 100% but I have to buy something at least double the price of my ring. I checked out other stuff that they had online and really it looked like all of it was around the same vein. I think the best color offered was H, which isn''t bad. But the best clarity offered was I1, and i''m douting their stuff is cut really well at all. I think they carry loose stones at Littmans but not as small as I would need for my wedding band.

Thanks for all the ideas!

 

[devientdrow]

Date: 8/26/2006 11:05:03 AM
Author: february2003bride
I think your wedding set is lovely! I personally, have changed my wedding band a few times since I was married (my e-ring is the same although I may upgrade to a larger princess cut in a few years) and am finally where I have THE rings. You have to wear them, you should have what you want!

I do agree about the sentimentality over the marriage ceremony ring. I guess that''s why I have my first wedding band even though it totally does not sit right with my e-ring and I haven''t worn it in ages.

So are you thinking of getting a new wedding band or set?

Thanks for the compliment! You know...i''m torn. Part of me feels like I should just hold out...save up the cash and maybe buy a setting with a matching band for my ering diamond. But there is that darn sentimental part of me that feels bad parting with my wedding band. Maybe it''s because I haven''t been married all that long? I don''t know!

 

[Dee*Jay]

I''m glad you sound so much more hopeful--I was a little worried for you in that first post!

Certainly wouldn''t hurt to go in there and see what they have. They have more something that appeals to you in person that you don''t see on line.

Do you have to trade for another diamond piece, BTW, or could you trade in your set and get a gemstone item too?

As for baguettes, as with any stone I''m sure there are well cut ones and poorly cut ones, but I honestly don''t know enough about them to offer you any useful advice on that front...

 

[Cehrabehra]

Hi
As long as you have a negative feeling about the band, doesn''t that take away at least somewhat from the magic that you bestow upon it?

what I would do, if I couldn''t be in love with the ring, is redo the vows... you don''t need guests, you don''t need witnesses (but you could lol)... but exchange vows on an anniversary some day, with your pastor, have him bless your new ring, have your husband reconfirm his undying love for you upon the new ring and bestow *it* with all of the magic your current ring has.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 8/26/2006 11:20:05 AM
Author: devientdrow
Thanks for the compliment! You know...i''m torn. Part of me feels like I should just hold out...save up the cash and maybe buy a setting with a matching band for my ering diamond. But there is that darn sentimental part of me that feels bad parting with my wedding band. Maybe it''s because I haven''t been married all that long? I don''t know!

eh, maybe... I''m a sentimentalist big time, but I''ve learned tricks to trick myself LOL Partly because there''ve been times when I could wear my original ring and had other rings (like pregnancy or weight gain) so I have quite a collection of rings at this point and they all share a bit of the magic... I do tend to keep everything and not "upgrade" so much as "replace" LOL And I find I still have all of the other stuff to wear... hehehe...

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I am in the (long) process of getting a new set of rings after 29 years! The originals are yellow gold. I am keeping my old wedding band just as it is for sentimental reasons, but I will get a new diamond band to wear with my new solitaire.

My honest advice to you is since you sound like you aren''t in love with your settings on both rings at this point, that I''d wait until you find your dream settings and change both rings at the same time. It would totally bother me to have that w-band with poor quality stones and I''d be changing it if it were mine. (Been there...now getting a better pair of diamond studs!) A wedding band symbolizes that you are married, and the new one will still symbolize that! But I just wouldn''t poor more money into this particular wedding band if there''s any chance you''d like to change to a whole new set.

 

[Beacon]

I hear what you are saying - that ring was the one you had put on your finger at your wedding and it carries a lot of emotional weight.

So, keep it. But that doesn''t mean you cannot get another one. I got a new ering and a new band. We took both to the place where we got married, a beautiful outdoor gazebo over a pond, and my husband put both those new rings on my finger. It was so nice - almost like getting married again. Now those rings have that "annointed" feeling.

I wouldn''t buy from the same store on a trade up. It sounds like you have moved past that vendor in your needs and wants. If you want to switch the round diamonds I guess it can be done. Take it around and someone will do it. My husband always says that if you put money in front of people they will do what you want even if it ''s a pain in the rear. Sigh. But see how much it would cost compared to getting a new band altogether. And consider which would make you happier in your mind. Maybe the problematic associations with the ring will stay even if you change out the round diamonds.

But don''t stress out daily about the yellow in the stones. (yes, I know this is hard!). Just get the info you need and make your choices and set up your time line. In the end, you''ll get just the band and look you want and all will be well.

 

[whatmeworry]

How about swapping the round diamonds in the band for colored gemstones?

ETA: This way you still keep the wedding band (maybe as a right hand ring) but still have the option of getting another matching diamond band later in the future.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 8/26/2006 2:11:59 PM
Author: whatmeworry
How about swapping the round diamonds in the band for colored gemstones?

ETA: This way you still keep the wedding band (maybe as a right hand ring) but still have the option of getting another matching diamond band later in the future.

Fantastic idea! I''d do that just to keep it as a rhr, and get a whole new wedding set when you find what you love!

 

[kcoursolle]

In a lot of ways ignorance is often times bliss with jewelry. Before I joined pricescope I just looked at things and thought, "pretty." I had no idea about quality, and now that I know the differene...there is no turning back. I would be hesitant to trade up with them unless you had good confidence in the quality in the new stones (like an AGS 0 center stone or something). I like the ideas of switching the stones in your wedding band, and this shouldn''t be too expensive, but I would be hesitant to do it at littman''s. I''d take it to someone else I trusted more.

 

[ladykemma]

I love your wedding band. the baguettes are supposed to look that way, but the rounds need changing out. i would have a mom n pop jeweler change out the little rounds for better ones.

 

[devientdrow]

Thank all you guys for the advice! I definatly am just considering Littmans out of the picture. It seems there more expensive jewelry is still lower quality...just larger stones in lower quality!

The idea of putting something like a sapphire in to replace the rounds is definatly an idea! Something to entertain! Besides that I think having just the rounds replaced would be a great idea. I know of one really nice B & M around me I could have look over it. I don''t think you can find .10ct rounds online.

I still eye up whole new settings just because I see SOOO many now that I absolutly LOVE. But i''d have to save up for that AND I don''t know how bad I would feel for switching up all my original stuff.

So thanks again ladies! You guys are the best! Always full of such great ideas!

 

[Rowan]

I don''t have a problem getting new rings because I don''t have my original band that I was married with. My daughter flushed it down the toilet when she was 2.

It was just a simple yellow gold band but I wish I still had it. After 17 years I''m to the point now where I agree with the rings symbolizing the marriage and I could wear anything for that. I call them my marriage rings since they really aren''t my wedding rings.

 

[Kay]

Date: 8/26/2006 2:11:59 PM
Author: whatmeworry
How about swapping the round diamonds in the band for colored gemstones?

ETA: This way you still keep the wedding band (maybe as a right hand ring) but still have the option of getting another matching diamond band later in the future.

That''s just what I was thinking. Swap in some nice blue sapphires for the round diamonds, and then you can continue to wear it as your wedding band, or get a new band to go with your e-ring and keep it as a RHR for the sentimental value.