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Really struggling

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Hi ladies,

I have been on here for a little while so will give a quick intro before anything else! I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 yrs, we officially moved in together about 7 months ago. He is a beautiful guy, very caring and compassionate and always there for me :) We always talk about our future together and are currently saving for a house.

Long story cut short we first started talking about getting married about a yr ago and then a little more about 6 months back. I know he opened an account to start saving but this whole LIW business is really starting to get to me especially since my best friend just got engaged tonight, please don't get me wrong, i am so so happy for her! I guess its just hard because they have been going out less than my bf and i and im just a little frustrated. Hopefully i will get out of this rut asap as i really don't want him picking up about how i am feeling.

Thanks for hearing me out lovely ladies :)
 

tracerr00

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jun 8, 2011
Messages
18
Hugs to you - I know how you feel. In the time that BF and I have been dating, my friends have met, been engaged and even had babies!!! That tells you that we've been dating a long, long time. I've always thought that I'm an independent woman that didn't care whether I was married/engaged but sometimes I'd get a twinge of jealousy when they got their rings and had their weddings. Obviously I don't have the best advice because I'm still waiting (but finally I think it won't be too much longer!), but you're certainly justified in feeling the way you are. I hope things move along quickly for you. Sending some ring vibes your way!
 

ChloeTheGreat

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 25, 2009
Messages
682
Many of us have been "waiting" long enough to see friends/acquaintances get engaged before us. I know it can be frustrating. You and your SO sound like you're moving in the right direction...be patient! Best of luck staying sane while you're waiting. :))
 

Ladybug1

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
270
it is hard but it does sound like you guys are moving forward.....this is a good place to vent, ask questions, check in to see if you have lost it, etc :))
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Thanks ladies :) I actually lost it before to the bf - need to get out of this rut pretty quickly! Dust to those of you waiting!!
 

Ladybug1

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
270
I hear you.....I just got engaged about three weeks ago and I total lost it with the Fiancé right before he proposed.... It happens, be nice to yourself and him, hehe and pick a new hobby quickly, lol and continue to come here for support, these are some of the nicest ladies around.
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Congratulations! I saw you're ring in a post the other day, its beautiful! Thanks so much for the advice, and yep def will be looking for a new hobby!
 

gem_anemone

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 21, 2011
Messages
682
I feel for you ladies. About two weeks after my guy purchased our ering his little sister who just turned 21 got engaged (we are both older). I found out after the fact that my BF told his sister we were planning it and her BF went ahead and did it anyway ;( I have no idea if they were already planning it when my BF told them...but even he was surprised when they got engaged because her fiance did not mention it to my BF before he proposed. It sucks because we are older (I am 31! I need to get this ball rolling! ;-) ). We have been dating longer and we also have a house together. They live with his parents! I was thinking they should have been saving $$ to move out, not get a ring...but to each his own. :rolleyes:

I am happy for them, but can't help but be a little annoyed that they have gotten engaged right when we were planning. I also think this means my engagement is going to be put on hold a few extra months so as to not seem like we did it because they did it or were stepping on their toes or whatever...who knows what people think... :(( I'm just trying to keep my head up and trust that whatever we have will be special and it shouldn't be planned around or compared to what others do because everybody has a different timeline.

I also bought myself a RHR to to keep myself preoccupied from always thinking about engagement . Obviously the diamonds are not nearly as gorgeous as the one I am waiting for, but it has made me feel better because I am excited about something other than my engagement ring now. It's a fleur de lis which is also meaningful in our relationship because our house is decorated with one. I really love it, but now I get to wait for it to be delivered :love:

fleur%20de%20lis.jpg
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
tell me abouuuut ittttt!!! my guy told me a while back that one of the guys he works with asked how long we have been together. when he told him that we have been together for 4.5 yrs his coworker said that he must be getting major pressure to get hitched. my guy came home to me and was saying how nice it is that i have never pressured him...

in the meantime i was FUMING!!! i was like, "okayyyy, do i need to start turning the vices?!?!". i have made a point to say something to him every time it has been brought up since then! yesterday we were hanging out with his friend and his friend's girlfriend. she said something to me about marriage, and i just had to bring it up to him when we got home. i told him flat-out that if they get engaged/married before us, it will not be pretty. the friend's girlfriend is 21, trashy, not cute and completely uneducated. i don't mean to sound like a snob, and i'm not trying to trash-talk her, but i would be so insulted if she got a ring before me!!! this whole who engagement business can be such a blow to one's ego and self-esteem! i am not a jealous person, but i get so jealous when i hear that someone like that has gotten engaged. i weirdly compare myself to that person and get annoyed with my guy if i feel like she has less going for her. i catch myself thinking awful things like "she's not that cute, didn't go to college, doesn't have a good personality, etc..." it's so unattractive!!! i just hope that my turn is coming soon! i don't like this side of me :angryfire: :Up_to_something: :angryfire: :Up_to_something:
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
gem anemone--you are a much better person than I!!! i would be inwardly sulking and being a jerk about it, haha!! good for you, though!!! and pretty RHR! :love:
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
gem_anemone - i can see how that would be really annoying and i completely know the feeling. Especially since you are your bf and being very methodical and planning everything and then out of the blue other people just get engaged. Its much how everything happened with my friend also, within 8 weeks of her saying she wants to do things the more traditional way - i.e - get engaged, married, baby etc etc she has a ring on her finger... so yep i completely understand your frustration but you need to think that you guys are talking about it and that the time will come, but in the mean time try to enjoy eachothers company and focus on that gorgeous new ring you bought - very smart idea! I may just take a leaf out of your book :bigsmile: oh and by the way, dont ever worry about what other people think and you guys should do what makes you happy!

tuffyluvr - i know, sometimes they just dont get it! Have you guys spoken about it at all or have you told him what you want?
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
miss gg, yes we have talked about it. he has already taken me ring shopping, and i know that it's coming... but i'm just getting so impatient!!! i feel like the closer we get, the more antsy i feel! i'm not this crazy in real life. just having a venting session... saying all the crazy stuff that i think about, but would never dare talk about in "real life" :loopy:
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
tuffyluvr - vent away, all good! in the mean time, maybe take up a new hobby to distract yourself and let out some frustration (exercise is always good). Have you chosen your ring or diamond?
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
yes! i keep myself busy most of the time--it's weeknights after work/gym when my guy is at work (like tonight!) that i get sucked into pricescope!!

no, i don't have a stone or a setting. my guy took me ring shopping... but only to get an idea of what i like. he wants to be the one to pick it out. i like diamonds and sapphires, so i really have no clue what i'll end up with, gah!!!

have you picked out a ring yet??
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
haha I know what you mean!! In the same boat, bf asked what my pref was, its round brilliant - he would love for me to have a solitaire but my gf that just got engaged got a round brilliant solitaire and another one also has a round brilliant solitaire so now I don't know what I want and what to go with - asked him the other day if he would allow me to set it once he proposed but he hadn't decided and im so anxious as to what diamond i will get as im so obsessed with specs since being on ps! Ahhhh lol
 

gem_anemone

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 21, 2011
Messages
682
We just need to keep our chins up. Good luck to you all! Hopefully we can contain our jealousy until it's our time! :saint: And hopefully no more of our friends/family get engaged before then :lol:
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
Being on ps has made me such a psycho! I sort if wish I could pick my stone so I could funnel some of my energy into that! Although, that could have been a deliberate choice on his part NOT to let me. I would be so nuts about it!!! I would be online constantly and he would be getting a barrage of "what do you think about this one?!?! What about this versus this, blah, blah, blah..." So all he knows is that I want something comfortable, set low, nothing squared or with sharp edges, and no pave that will get gunked up. I cook a ton and I'm in school to be a nurse, and I want to be able to wear my ring when I'm cooking and working, so practicality and comfort are number one for me. I feel like part of my anxiety lies in wanting to know what he chooses. He has good taste, so I'm sure it will be lovely, I just want to knowwwww!!!
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Yep im with you, 6 months ago i knew nothing about diamonds and now im totally obsessed and bf thinks im a nutcase so he probably is choosing the stone and possibly setting to save himself the hassle. I like the thinking behind your ring, that makes complete sense regarding your field of work and im glad you are thinking practical! Thats good that you're bf has good taste, so does mine but im a little panicky about the what if i dont like the clarity or the colour etc? His parents went to South Africa a few months back and i have a feeling he may have told them to look for something but guess i can't be sure till he does propose but im just so damn anxious :errrr: thats the control freak in me lol :wacko:
 

captainmcgee

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
329
Ladies, I am really feeling exactly the same way but darling SO has had the ring for almost 7 months :-O!!!!

I am trying to cope but I think he may have had a look at it yesterday which might mean we are moving forward as I know he hasn't looked at it for at least 5 months!!

The only thing getting me through is just keeping busy on other projects, like resetting my mothers rings and earrings hahaha :devil:
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Ohhh mif that would be soo hard!! Did you help pick out your ring?

Have you guys spoken about when you want to be married? Surely the proposal cant be too far off! Is there any special occassions coming up at all?
 

captainmcgee

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
329
Yes Miss GG we embarked on the whole process together. No we haven't discussed a time frame really. He has said we won't be married before January 2013 so I am not really sure what he is thinking or what is going on.

Well our anniversary is coming up soon and then we are going overseas in 4 months and we are going on a mini 4 day holiday in a couple of weeks but I am thinking if at all it will be in 4 months time which will mean we have had the ring for almost a yr! It is sooo hard!! :???:

Suggestions on keeping my mind off it?

So sorry to hijack the thread Miss GG. Just know you aren't alone.
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Dont apologise for hijacking at all! At least you got to pick your ring hehe im not allowed to have a say in the diamond or anything :( maybe the setting if im lucky lol! Damn PS has made me so spec obsessed and im so freaked about what if i dont like my diamond when i get it - isn't that a horrible thought?! LOL! I must sound so selfish :(

How long have you been with your man for?

Ahh suggestions, do you have a blog? I dont and im thinking about whether i start one up to at lats keep me writing and busy! Do you go to the gym or have any hobbies? You need to try and focus your energies on something else - like at the moment SO and i are just looking at buying a land/house package... so I am trying to put my energy into that - and next week he is away o/s for work so im really going to have to try keep myself busy! lol where abouts are you heading away in 4 months? I would sooo love to be away right now!
 

captainmcgee

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
329
No that's not selfish at all! I would feel the same.

We have been together over 3 years. How about you and your man?

Yes I have a blog and a tumblr, keeps me busy which is good. I just need to find more hobbies.

We are travelling around the US in four months then to an island destination after.
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Hahaha ok makes me feel a little better :p

I have been with him for a little over 2 years

Do you mind if i ask what your blog name is?

Wonderful, where abouts in the US are you going and how long are you holidaying for? There sounds like its a good chance he may do it while you are away perhap? My man and i travelled to NYC last year plus a few other places in Europe - I loved NYC and totally want to go again!

Yep i need to find a hobby also but have no idea what to do!
 

captainmcgee

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
329
Are you from Australia Miss GG?

I have two blogs one is bridal and the other is fashion and other random ramblings.

We are doing NYC for almost 3 weeks and then we might go to a few other places depending on our timing.

Start a blog Miss GG it definitely takes up time and it's loads of fun!
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Yes I am from Australia are you?

Oh wow, 2 blogs must keep you busy!

You will have an amazing time in NYC - we spent nearly 2 weeks there and felt like we could have done soo much more, so 3 weeks is a great amount of time to spend there!
 

captainmcgee

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
329
Yes, we spent 2.5 weeks there a couple of years ago and it didn't feel like enough time so hopefully this will be perfect!

Where is Australia? Yes I am too :) Fellow Aussie! :wavey:
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Wonderful, im sure it will fantastic!

I live in Melbourne, where abouts are you from?
 
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