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jitterymo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2008
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412
I'm having difficulty on the wording I should use...

kindly respond by
the first of October

M ________________________________________

___________________________________________

How many children___ names________________________________

___ will attend with pleasure ___ must decline with regret

what gets you dancing? Song Requests
1) ___________________________________________
2) ___________________________________________

Make sure to send in your response card to reserve your special seat we’ve chosen for you.


Do you think this is okay?
 
well i posted the whole thing but it doesn't seem to show up... i'll try again.

kindly respond by
the first of October

M ________________________________________

___________________________________________

How many children___ names________________________________

___ will attend with pleasure ___ must decline with regret

what gets you dancing? Song Requests
1) ___________________________________________
2) ___________________________________________

Make sure to send in your response card to reserve your special seat we’ve chosen for you.
 
Here is my suggestion:

Kindly respond by the first of October

M ______________________________________________________

___ will attend with pleasure ___ must decline with regret

How many children?___ Names_______________________________

What gets you dancing? Song Requests
1) ___________________________________________
2) ___________________________________________
 
lucyandroger said:
Here is my suggestion:

Kindly respond by the first of October

M ______________________________________________________

___ will attend with pleasure ___ must decline with regret

How many children?___ Names_______________________________

What gets you dancing? Song Requests
1) ___________________________________________
2) ___________________________________________


ditto lucyandroger's suggestions!
 
Ditto! The last line about sending them in, well, duh. People know they need to send them in, but just don't. Your friendly reminder will likely not affect that. Sad but true! :rolleyes: :bigsmile:
 
lucyandroger said:
Here is my suggestion:

Kindly respond by the first of October

M ______________________________________________________

___ will attend with pleasure ___ must decline with regret

How many children?___ Names_______________________________

What gets you dancing? Song Requests
1) ___________________________________________
2) ___________________________________________

I also think this looks better! :))
 
Ditto about the last remark.
 
I think I would only change the children line from

"How many children" to "Number of children attending"
 
kindly respond by
the first of October

M ________________________________________

___ will attend with pleasure ___ decline with regret

Number of children___
Names of children________________________________

What gets you dancing? Song Requests
1) ___________________________________________
2) ___________________________________________
 
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