Quick help re. this dilemma!

[laughwithme]

We are 3 days out from the wedding and we were 95% confident that two guests (a married couple) would not be attending the wedding. They didn''t RSVP and its our fault for not calling them - it has been so long since we''ve seen them, we didn''t even think about calling them to confirm - we just assumed they were a no. They are kinda flaky people anyway.

Big mistake! We just got their RSVP in the mail and they are coming. The seating chart is complete, and all place cards have been printed and assembled for several days. We have all tables maxed out, except three tables have one seat available.

Our venue has three areas, the main ballroom, a cocktail room with several tables, and a patio with tables. Our venue''s coordinator did say that in the case that extra guests arrive, the overflow can sit at the cocktail room tables. But, these tables aren''t numbered, and its a totally separate room from the main room. They would literally be in this room by themselves during dinner.

How do I go about letting this couple know that they are in a separate room? Do I do a hand-written place card that says "cocktail room," or somehow contact them? (no clue what phone/email is.) We can''t add an extra table to the ballroom because they would be the only 2 people at it, and it would mess up our already-perfect layout.

GAH! This is partially my fault but it was rude for them to mail it just a few days out. Any thoughts????

 

[lilyfoot]

I don''t think it''s partially your fault, obviously they didn''t care to follow the RSVP sent-by date request.

I really don''t like the idea of them having to sit in a completely different room. Isn''t there something you can do to squeeze them in at another table? Can anybody be shifted around at one/two of the 3 tables that have an extra seat?

BTW, this is a ridiculous thing to have to deal with this late in the game!

 

[laughwithme]

Date: 6/23/2010 2:16:43 PM
Author: lilyfoot
I don''t think it''s partially your fault, obviously they didn''t care to follow the RSVP sent-by date request.


I really don''t like the idea of them having to sit in a completely different room. Isn''t there something you can do to squeeze them in at another table? Can anybody be shifted around at one/two of the 3 tables that have an extra seat?


BTW, this is a ridiculous thing to have to deal with this late in the game!

Nobody can be shifted because we have printed all of our place cards at Kinkos, and assembled them all. So I can''t just shift someone, because then its a domino effect and I have to shift everyone. We were very particular about our seating arrangement. I know this sounds rude but in some ways, I almost want to attach a little note to their place card saying "Apologies but our seating placement was finalized early this week and since we did not have your RSVP at this time, we were unable to seat you at a ballroom table." They aren''t super close to us, they are a younger couple that is the daughter of one of my dad''s friends, and I''m not too worried about hurting their feelings. But, I mean I am a decent person so I am just at a loss for what to do!!

 

[stephbolt]

Date: 6/23/2010 2:21:12 PM
Author: laughwithme

Date: 6/23/2010 2:16:43 PM
Author: lilyfoot
I don''t think it''s partially your fault, obviously they didn''t care to follow the RSVP sent-by date request.


I really don''t like the idea of them having to sit in a completely different room. Isn''t there something you can do to squeeze them in at another table? Can anybody be shifted around at one/two of the 3 tables that have an extra seat?


BTW, this is a ridiculous thing to have to deal with this late in the game!

Nobody can be shifted because we have printed all of our place cards at Kinkos, and assembled them all. So I can''t just shift someone, because then its a domino effect and I have to shift everyone. We were very particular about our seating arrangement. I know this sounds rude but in some ways, I almost want to attach a little note to their place card saying ''Apologies but our seating placement was finalized early this week and since we did not have your RSVP at this time, we were unable to seat you at a ballroom table.'' They aren''t super close to us, they are a younger couple that is the daughter of one of my dad''s friends, and I''m not too worried about hurting their feelings. But, I mean I am a decent person so I am just at a loss for what to do!!

Although it definitely is rude on this couples part to have RSVPed so late, you are responding to their rudeness with more rudeness by seating them in a separate room from all the rest of your guests. I know it''s frustrating to have this happen...I had four guests drop out and two added at the last minute that forced me to redo a portion of my placecards. But it took less than an hour to do, and honestly, if that''s the biggest crisis you are dealing with leading up to the wedding you are in good shape!

 

[AustenNut]

Well, since the place cards, etc, have all been made and printed and can''t easily be changed then I would seat them seaparately. If tables 3 & 7 each have an extra seat, then put one at table 3 and the other at table 7, and let them know it was because of the extraordinarily late RSVP. That way they''re not in a completely separate room, it''s not a pain for the waiters, and the two can hang out together during cocktails and post-dinner. Then, perhaps, they''ll get a better clue as to how to respond to future wedding invites.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 6/23/2010 2:21:12 PM
Author: laughwithme

Date: 6/23/2010 2:16:43 PM
Author: lilyfoot
I don''t think it''s partially your fault, obviously they didn''t care to follow the RSVP sent-by date request.


I really don''t like the idea of them having to sit in a completely different room. Isn''t there something you can do to squeeze them in at another table? Can anybody be shifted around at one/two of the 3 tables that have an extra seat?


BTW, this is a ridiculous thing to have to deal with this late in the game!

Nobody can be shifted because we have printed all of our place cards at Kinkos, and assembled them all. So I can''t just shift someone, because then its a domino effect and I have to shift everyone. We were very particular about our seating arrangement. I know this sounds rude but in some ways, I almost want to attach a little note to their place card saying ''Apologies but our seating placement was finalized early this week and since we did not have your RSVP at this time, we were unable to seat you at a ballroom table.'' They aren''t super close to us, they are a younger couple that is the daughter of one of my dad''s friends, and I''m not too worried about hurting their feelings. But, I mean I am a decent person so I am just at a loss for what to do!!

I really can''t believe they would send their RSVP so late. Do you have a way of getting their phone number or email address? I think, if you can get a hold of them, you should notify them of the situation ahead of time. And if you can''t (or don''t want to) get in contact with them, screw it. Just have them plopped down in the seperate room, and go on with life, lol. You say you''re not close with them so ...

 

[Haven]

Is there any way you can squeeze them into one of the tables with ONE seat available?

OR, and I hate to say this, there''s a good chance that you''ll have some last-minute no-shows the day of your wedding. If I were you I''d print up two sets of place cards with their names on them. On the first set I''d put the information for the table in the other room, and on the second set I''d leave the table information blank. Then, I''d ask someone close to me (my mom, a bridesmaid) to figure out who is a no-show and put their table number on the cards.

Sorry this is going on! That was really rude of this couple, I must say.

 

[laughwithme]

Date: 6/23/2010 2:40:34 PM
Author: Haven
Is there any way you can squeeze them into one of the tables with ONE seat available?


OR, and I hate to say this, there''s a good chance that you''ll have some last-minute no-shows the day of your wedding. If I were you I''d print up two sets of place cards with their names on them. On the first set I''d put the information for the table in the other room, and on the second set I''d leave the table information blank. Then, I''d ask someone close to me (my mom, a bridesmaid) to figure out who is a no-show and put their table number on the cards.


Sorry this is going on! That was really rude of this couple, I must say.

Thanks, Haven, thats a good thought. I think I''m gonna see if any of my tables of 9 have kids, and maybe they can squeeze in 11. I''ve also left a voicemail for the venue coordinator asking if we can add a 17th table off to the side for any extra people. As someone else said, I''m really lucky that this is my only crisis so far - and it would take a nuclear bomb to spoil my excitement and good mood at this point!!! No matter what happens, they''ll sit where they sit and after all, its only dinner - the rest of the night, everyone will be up and about!

 

[ms.halo]

Date: 6/23/2010 2:30:56 PM
Author: AustenNut
Well, since the place cards, etc, have all been made and printed and can''t easily be changed then I would seat them seaparately. If tables 3 & 7 each have an extra seat, then put one at table 3 and the other at table 7, and let them know it was because of the extraordinarily late RSVP. That way they''re not in a completely separate room, it''s not a pain for the waiters, and the two can hang out together during cocktails and post-dinner. Then, perhaps, they''ll get a better clue as to how to respond to future wedding invites.

I think this is the best thing to do as well.

 

[choro72]

Date: 6/23/2010 2:30:47 PM
Author: stephb0lt

Date: 6/23/2010 2:21:12 PM

Author: laughwithme

Date: 6/23/2010 2:16:43 PM

Author: lilyfoot

I don''t think it''s partially your fault, obviously they didn''t care to follow the RSVP sent-by date request.



I really don''t like the idea of them having to sit in a completely different room. Isn''t there something you can do to squeeze them in at another table? Can anybody be shifted around at one/two of the 3 tables that have an extra seat?



BTW, this is a ridiculous thing to have to deal with this late in the game!

Nobody can be shifted because we have printed all of our place cards at Kinkos, and assembled them all. So I can''t just shift someone, because then its a domino effect and I have to shift everyone. We were very particular about our seating arrangement. I know this sounds rude but in some ways, I almost want to attach a little note to their place card saying ''Apologies but our seating placement was finalized early this week and since we did not have your RSVP at this time, we were unable to seat you at a ballroom table.'' They aren''t super close to us, they are a younger couple that is the daughter of one of my dad''s friends, and I''m not too worried about hurting their feelings. But, I mean I am a decent person so I am just at a loss for what to do!!

Although it definitely is rude on this couples part to have RSVPed so late, you are responding to their rudeness with more rudeness by seating them in a separate room from all the rest of your guests. I know it''s frustrating to have this happen...I had four guests drop out and two added at the last minute that forced me to redo a portion of my placecards. But it took less than an hour to do, and honestly, if that''s the biggest crisis you are dealing with leading up to the wedding you are in good shape!

I agree, every word of it.

 

[laughwithme]

So my next question...when the venue coordinator calls me back, if she CAN fit a 17th table off to the side in the main ballroom, is it awkward for only 2 people to be sitting there? Is that rude or okay?

 

[Amanda.Rx]

Dang- sorry you''re dealing with this! That really sucks.

I would just seat them in the other room and not worry about offending them. OR... if you DO have extra room at 2 of the tables, seat them separately.

If those are the 2 options that exist, hand make a place card that says "Please see so-and-so for seating assignment". Then have so-and-so present the option to them to either sit separately in the ballroom or together in the other room.

If you honestly don''t know them that well and don''t plan to see them much in the future, then who cares? If you don''t even have their phone # or email address, they can''t mean THAT much to you, right? You worked hard on your seating arrangement. You said they were a younger couple. Let this be a lesson to them to understand the importance of an RSVP. You don''t need to bend over backwards to ensure their seating arrangement this late in the game.

Hope it all works out!

 

[Amanda.Rx]

Oh, well, if you can fit another table, then great! That allows them to stay together and stay with the group. Let them sit alone at the table together. Your place cards are already made out.

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 6/23/2010 2:57:02 PM
Author: Amanda.Rx
Oh, well, if you can fit another table, then great! That allows them to stay together and stay with the group. Let them sit alone at the table together. Your place cards are already made out.

If you can squeeze them both into an existing table, that would be my first choice.

Sitting at an additional table (even if they are alone) would be my 2nd choice.

I think seating them in a different room alone would cause hard feelings on their part and probably your dad''s friend too.

 

[Haven]

Date: 6/23/2010 3:07:10 PM
Author: TooPatient

Date: 6/23/2010 2:57:02 PM
Author: Amanda.Rx
Oh, well, if you can fit another table, then great! That allows them to stay together and stay with the group. Let them sit alone at the table together. Your place cards are already made out.

If you can squeeze them both into an existing table, that would be my first choice.
Sitting at an additional table (even if they are alone) would be my 2nd choice.
I think seating them in a different room alone would cause hard feelings on their part and probably your dad''s friend too.

I agree with this. I really would try to avoid putting them in the other room, if possible.
Now that I think about it, I would just put them at two separate tables and be done with this whole issue. If there''s a no show, they can move. If not, they''ll just have to make some new friends.

 

[laughwithme]

GOOD NEWS!!

Venue coordinator called me back and said its no problem to throw in a 17th table off to the side. Luckily I already had a table # printed for 20 tables just in case...so as long as this couple doesn''t feel weird about being the only people at table 17, all is well!

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 6/23/2010 5:07:42 PM
Author: laughwithme

GOOD NEWS!!

Venue coordinator called me back and said its no problem to throw in a 17th table off to the side. Luckily I already had a table # printed for 20 tables just in case...so as long as this couple doesn''t feel weird about being the only people at table 17, all is well!

That is great!

I''m sure they will be fine. If they aren''t, just explain what the options were and I''m sure they''ll appreciate the effort you put in to make them feel welcome and comfortable. (and if they don''t then well, maybe they''ll learn to RSVP on time.)

 

[nkarma]

Date: 6/23/2010 2:30:56 PM
Author: AustenNut
Well, since the place cards, etc, have all been made and printed and can''t easily be changed then I would seat them seaparately. If tables 3 & 7 each have an extra seat, then put one at table 3 and the other at table 7, and let them know it was because of the extraordinarily late RSVP. That way they''re not in a completely separate room, it''s not a pain for the waiters, and the two can hang out together during cocktails and post-dinner. Then, perhaps, they''ll get a better clue as to how to respond to future wedding invites.

Ditto...not your fault AT ALL.