Question to Past, Present, & Future Ladies in Waiting

[sumbride]

Do they have fireworks over the harbor on NYE? We only moved there last year but I was in DC that night.

 

[the other Jake]

I''m not sure... I wouldn''t think so though

 

[LuckyLady]

I would probably recommend either 1) waiting till the beach; 2) inviting her parents- love this idea; or 3) Planning something just the two of you over New Year''s.

It depends on what kind of girl she is, obviously, but I for one would have not wanted my FI to propose while spending the holidays with his family. For me, either it needed to be totally private (just the two of us), or surrounded by my friends and family. It would be great if it were both our families, but it would have been really weird and uncomfortable to me if it was just his family. Note: I really love his family, so there is no issue there. Just not at all what I would have wanted for our proposal.

My FI waited FOREVER and proposed on a beach vacation and it was perfect. I am one of those girls who, while impatient while waiting, was really glad he took the time and picked the perfect spot for me. I am glad he waited for the beach.

 

[the other Jake]

This was the encouragement I needed... The beach it is!

 

[the other Jake]

Just for a further explanation of my decision process. It will be less awkward for the both of us overall. Being a "younger" couple it is harder to tell the parents then it would be if we were completely independent. Both of our parents still pay for school, rent, and car insurance and what not because we don''t start full time until the fall. It would be different if we both were working and had already started out in the "real world." I think that she would feel uncomfortable overall, minus her mom. I don''t want to do that to her. I know several of you said life is too short to "wait" for the perfect moment, but I think the timing of the beach just fits our own time line better. We will still have a few more weeks of school left after that so she can still tell her friends at school. Plus she still gets to share with her mom shortly after and that is important. Besides, having a ring on your finger before the age of 23 isn''t too shabby- she turns 23 in late march (does this mean I get out of a birthday gift?- man this is a rough time of year!)

 

[fisherofmengirly]

I would dare to say that even if she''s not a "lady in waiting," so far as you know, she must at least be thinking, hoping, wondering about the future you two hold. That is totally typical of a woman in a good relationship. Not all women go on and on about how badly they want it, or even bring it up all that often, but if she loves you and sees you as the man she wants to marry, I''ll just bet that she''s a "lady in waiting," as well!

I say do it when you have the first opportunity. A sweet, non-drama proposal is just as memorable as what movies are made of.

Again, you know her best. Which do you think she''d prefer?

 

[the other Jake]

I really think she''d prefer the beach. Its only 2 more months. We''ve waited our whole lives for that moment and its really not worth rushing it. The timing now isn''t right for me either... I still have to talk to her parents and my family. The beach is low stress for me because I''ve planned it like that for the past year or so. Just thinking about moving it up gets me stressed. I''ll be much more relaxed in a private setting- which is not possible this holiday season. I really want to share the ring, but I''m not ready to deal with telling other people quite yet.

 

[poptart]

Well, then wait to give it to her and just post TONS of pictures for us!!

*M*

 

[the other Jake]

Definately. The ring should be finished next week and this will be the first place I come to show it off. I''ll be sure to keep you posted on my progress/anxiety...

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Aww, rats! I was going to vote for the holidays! I, of course, agree that you''d have to be alone when you proposed, but you can arrange that. You can always dress up and go out alone for New Years Eve (which is when my husband''s sister got enagaged). We got engaged while we were in school, too. So nothing about that seems strange to me!

And I''ll have to agree with those who said, of COURSE she''s a lady in waiting! You are fooling yourself if you think she isn''t anxiously awaiting a proposal! I can tell by the comments you told us she''s made.

But the beach thing is still very nice if you can wait that long!

 

[Mandarine]

I say wait and do it how you want to do it....and you know her best!

Of course, if you were my BF I would say "are you crazy??? do it right now!" hehe....but I think if he was planning this special vacation then I would also be blown away about how thoughtful he was and would forget all about the extra two months of waiting!.

I couldn''t kee a secret that long though...I would just be too excited and would end up just blurting it out as soon as I had the ring! haha..

Just do what feels right! I''m sure she will love it either way!

M~

 

[poptart]

Well, I guess we will actually see what happens once he GETS the ring, hehe

. Perhaps, Other than Jake, it''s beauty will convince you to propose over the holidays (which I''m still sorta hoping for...) Either way, I''m sure it will be lovely and the two of you will be happy with either proposal.

*M*

 

[Becky P]

Well, sounds like you''ve decided on the beach - if you can wait after the ring actually shows up. I think the beach sounds great, and I''ve always thought I''d like at least 24-48 hours of just me and my fi once we actually are engaged. Of course, I''m sure we''ll call the parents, but other than that, I want to be able to relish those first few days and just really enjoy being with him. Proposing while on vacation gives you the time to just enjoy each other without having to deal with everyday life distractions.


However, if you do decide to go for the New Year''s proposal, I''ve always thought it would be so romantic for, at the countdown to midnight for my bf to drop to his knee and say,
"I don''t want to spend another year of my life
without having you as my wife
Will you marry me?"
Then, the ball drops, you kiss because it''s midnight, and wow, fireworks!

So, show us the ring when it arrives, and come back and tell us the amazing story whenever and wherever it happens! Congrats! And, don''t give her any more hard time about waiting til you''re 40. You never know what she might be thinking...

 

[Tacori E-ring]

2 months is not that long of a wait. Plus you are so young. I doubt she is tapping her fingers waiting for it before you graduate. Between the two I would want the beach proposal.

 

[the other Jake]

thanks for the words of encouragement. Its gonna be hard once I get the ring though... rockdoc said the stone is amazing (i haven''t seen it) and that I might explode when i see it- which is truly possible!

 

[anchor31]

I was going to vote for the beach, so I think your choice sounds perfect!

Congrats and good luck!

About your parents - I''m a young fiancée (21), graduating in 2008 and my parents are paying my rent until then... I was worried about their reaction to my engagement at first too. But they''re thrilled!! They even wish the wedding was next summer instead of Sept. 08. Of course, your situation may not be the same, but sometimes it doesn''t turn out as bad as we think it will.

 

[Scooba]

I am probably in the minority, but I say to wait for your trip. I know my FI had the ring and I had been waiting for over a month with the ring in the house and I was getting really PO''d and starting to feel like he didn''t want to ask me because I didn''t know what he was waiting for, so I think he could tell I was upset and he brought it up one day and siad that he wanted to plan a trip and ask me then, but we had things going on for like a month so we would have had to wait a month to go out of town and I told him I did not want to wait....BUT now I kind of wish I waited because I don''t have some awesome story to tell about the proposal.

So if you want to do it sooner I would atleast make sure she still has a awesome story with it, but I know my choice place to be proposed to would be on the beach...also, I would not be happy if FI proposed in front of either of our parents, especially his, and I love my parents and his, I just don''t think it''s the kind of moment I want to share with them.

 

[MustangFan]

Wait!!!
I think guys can sometimes be selfish and not wait
After all, this is the most romantic moment she (and you) will remember for a lifetime!

 

[DMBsGirl]

I'm sure she will love the beach proposal! Something private and romantic on the beach would be spectacular

 

[KimberlyH]

Based on the circumstances you have presented, I love the idea of a beach proposal. I vote for waiting too and am glad you seem to have decided to do so.

 

[Gale]

Romance is not necessarily to be found on holiday or in an exotic locale. A simple, heartfelt proposal over the most usual of routines can certainly have it''s charm, and may be perceived to be more sincere. Only you know your future fiancee well enough to determine this.

 

[fasinateme]

Anytime you propose it will be the most special, perfect and utterly right time of yours/her life. The environment, surroundings DO NOT make the proposal special, the person and words coming out of their mouth does. I agree that life is too short and you don''t know what tomorrow could bring so if you put this much time and energy into saving and purchasing the ring you are already ready.

Do what feels right to you, but don''t stress over the trip in March versus New Years Eve. So many of my friends have had the most romantic engagments that took place in hotel rooms, childhood playgrounds, and while decorating the Christmas Tree.

You make it memoriable and special, don''t forget that.

 

[sumbride]

Hey Jake -

I don''t want to interfere with your decision, but I did want to let you know that there will indeed be fireworks in the Inner Harbor on New Year''s Eve. I just got an email about it from Live Baltimore! If the mood strikes...

 

[the other Jake]

Date: 12/19/2006 6:59:10 PM
Author: sumbride
Hey Jake -

I don''t want to interfere with your decision, but I did want to let you know that there will indeed be fireworks in the Inner Harbor on New Year''s Eve. I just got an email about it from Live Baltimore! If the mood strikes...

Thanks for thinking about me! I actually went to go visit the ring the other day. I can''t wait to see it all the time. I think that I''m pretty much gonna hold out til march. I''m not as anxious any more and the wait is totally bearable now. I was going through a rough time when I first got the ring (almost like I was going to explode). After the intial shock and eagerness, it has basically subsided. I think about it- but not every second so I should be able to hold out. Shes just gonna spend New Years here with my family...

 

[ky6]

I know I am late to chime in on this one. But I would have voted for you to wait. While I agree that it would be special whenever you choose to do it, I think it will blow her away to know how much planning and thought you put into making sure it was a perfect moment for her (and not a rushed, thrown together deal). I think these next two months will fly by for you, so the waiting should not seem to unbearable. Although, this is PS and we don''t really want to wait two months to see your rings pics

 

[the other Jake]

Date: 12/29/2006 11:48:31 AM
Author: ky6
I know I am late to chime in on this one. But I would have voted for you to wait. While I agree that it would be special whenever you choose to do it, I think it will blow her away to know how much planning and thought you put into making sure it was a perfect moment for her (and not a rushed, thrown together deal). I think these next two months will fly by for you, so the waiting should not seem to unbearable. Although, this is PS and we don''t really want to wait two months to see your rings pics

I already posted ring pics so you don''t have to wait, here they are in case you missed them.


Update: Made it through the holidays without proposing.

 

[asscherisme]

Wow, thats one amazing ring. You did great!