Question about diamond "etiquette"

[LitigatorChick]

My best girlfriend at work just got engaged - yah! She knows about my diamond obsession, and asked me to look at the ring. Here is where the problems began. The thing is a dog

. Worse yet, the cert from an Israeli lab shows that it was clarity enhanced.

I avoided the issue and said "I don''t know anything about princess cuts, but it looks lovely" and changed the topic.

Here is the issue. I am worried about the clarity enhanced aspect of this ring. I don''t want my friend to wander into a jewellery store, pop it into the ultrasonic, and have the ring fall apart. Or worse yet, turn hideous under a torch.

So, PSers, what is a girl to do?

 

[neatfreak]

I think you did the right thing. You could also casually mention that it''s a great idea to get insurance for it...AND an independent appraisal. Steer her towards a PS appraiser and THEY can tell her the truth...not you.

But I think you did the right thing. You don''t want to rain on her engagement since the ring is already on her finger unless SHE hates it and tells you so.

 

[bee*]

Date: 12/20/2007 10:07:00 AM
Author: neatfreak
I think you did the right thing. You could also casually mention that it''s a great idea to get insurance for it...AND an independent appraisal. Steer her towards a PS appraiser and THEY can tell her the truth...not you.


But I think you did the right thing. You don''t want to rain on her engagement since the ring is already on her finger unless SHE hates it and tells you so.

totally agree. Unless she alludes to the fact that she doesn''t like it, I would say nothing!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 12/20/2007 10:07:00 AM
Author: neatfreak
I think you did the right thing. You could also casually mention that it''s a great idea to get insurance for it...AND an independent appraisal. Steer her towards a PS appraiser and THEY can tell her the truth...not you.

But I think you did the right thing. You don''t want to rain on her engagement since the ring is already on her finger unless SHE hates it and tells you so.

I tend to agree with neatfreak. Touchy situation....

 

[chrono]

Gee, this is a very good question. I try to put myself into her shoes and think about it from her point of view. Yes, she''s probably excited to be engaged and have a sparkly diamond. But somehow she needs to know how to take care of a clarity enhanced diamond.

 

[lyra]

Tell her to get really good insurance? You did the right thing IMO.

 

[LitigatorChick]

I mentioned to her that she should look into insurance and an appraisal (her response - the Israeli cert gives an appraised value

). I told her that her insurance co. would need an independent appraisal, and gave her the name of a lab in town that I have used. Hopefully, this will resolve the issue.

 

[denverappraiser]

I’m with the above. Your response was perfect.

An enhanced stone won’t come apart in the ultrasonic. Any jeweler with sense who is going to point a torch at it is going to first ask if she has information about any enhancements, which she does, and then check anyway no matter what she says. Usually it’s easy to spot. If they mess it up, the companies that do the enhancement will be able to repair it and if it’s done by one of the major brands like Yehuda they have lifetime warranties that cover this.

It would probably benefit her in the form of making her insurance more useful and probably cheaper to get her own appraisal but there’s an awful lot of people who would prefer to pay extra to believe that their ring is ‘worth’ a whole lot than to simply know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It’s unlikely that the insurance company will have any problem at all with this Israeli appraisal. They, after all, are one of the major beneficiaries of it because they get to collect extra premiums without increased risk. What’s to object to? It’s consumers who should be protesting to these things.

Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ICGA(AGS) NAJA
Professional Jewelry Appraisals in Denver

 

[Jenna51580gr]

Date: 12/20/2007 10:07:00 AM
Author: neatfreak
I think you did the right thing. You could also casually mention that it''s a great idea to get insurance for it...AND an independent appraisal. Steer her towards a PS appraiser and THEY can tell her the truth...not you.

But I think you did the right thing. You don''t want to rain on her engagement since the ring is already on her finger unless SHE hates it and tells you so.

I absolutely agree that you should refer to PS appriaser and they can tell her what she got. If it was me and it was my closest friend I might say something but I don''t know think it would go well so I think by suggesting to a PS appriaser they can be the truth bearer and not you. Can your friend return the ring? If she can I would suggest she ask the Forum about her ring and we can be the truth bearer.

 

[Lynn B]

Ack, I feel for you. Had a very similar situation with one of my co-workers new marquise diamond ring. That poor stone is so white and milky and dull looking... and has a big ol'' carbon spot smack dab in the center of the table.

Does your friend''s ring sparkle at all?

 

[tberube]

I know you probably love your girlfriend, but that sounds like it''s NOT your problem. Honestly. Think about it: if you told her what you thought of it she''d be insulted and think that you''re just trying to rain on her parade. When she asked you what you thought of the diamond, what she really wanted was for you to tell her that it''s beautiful.

And if it breaks in the future, then that''ll be her issue to deal with. Since she knows you''re a diamond guru, strongly recommend that she gets the thing insured, for just such a case.

 

[Steel]

Ever heard "cruel to be kind" ?

Well, forget it this time around. You have done the right thing thus far. I would be upset if I were her and you told me what you could tell me.

Good job LC! Oh and belated welcome!

 

[CaptAubrey]

Since my social circle knows what I do, friends and family regularly bring me odd pieces of jewelry for quick evaluations. I''ve learned that they''re really looking for only two things:

1. Is it real?
2. Is it "nice"?

I tell them the truth on the first point, but the stone is always "nice" unless there is anything serious at stake (like they just paid a bundle for it and there''s still time to return it) or they already suspect a problem.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Thanks for the advise. The ring was not returnable and therefore, I felt that more harm would come out of my comments.

I am not completed educated on clarity enhanced diamonds though. I had thought the ultrasonic was a no-no? What are the problems that she may experience?

 

[gulliverseyes]

I think the last thinks you should do is recommend an appraisal and insurance. The appraisal will tell her it''s an E and the insurance is like insuring a 1982 AMC Pacer.

Let her enjoy it, and she can upgrade in the years to come.

...or, you can save it for when she''s really mad at her husband, and side with her using info that showes how cheap he is

 

[spike13]

I think you handled it with grace. Well done!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 12/20/2007 10:32:22 PM
Author: LitigatorChick
Thanks for the advise. The ring was not returnable and therefore, I felt that more harm would come out of my comments.

I am not completed educated on clarity enhanced diamonds though. I had thought the ultrasonic was a no-no? What are the problems that she may experience?

Apparently ammonia based cleaners should not be used as they can damage the filling of a C.E diamond. Also she needs to warn a jeweller if she ever wants work done on the ring, blowtorches and some acids they use can again damage the enhancement. If this does happen though, it seems the C.E. companies will redo the enhancement for life at no cost to the customer. I don't know if an ultrasonic can have an adverse effect....

ETA - just read Neil clarified some of the above points.

 

[:)]

Nicely handled LC!