by Asscherhalo_lover » Aug 29, 2010 Hi everyone! I'm going to be on a long journey here and I have no one else to talk to about this besides my husband. My husband is great and very supportive but I just need other people who may have been through this or who are going through this to talk to! When I was in my childhood I ate badly (what Mom gave me) but I was a competitive figure skater and was very active. I was never skinny but I was within a healthy range and I was quite fit from all of the skating. When I was 12 my Father passed away and within in a year I had to stop skating for financial reasons. My Mother also had to work two jobs after that which effectively left me home alone from when I went to school to about 8-10pm depending on the night. Fast food became my best friend. From that age I became a convenience eater. I drove up to a window and got my food. Done. I also worked from that age at least 20 hours a week during high school and full time while I went to college full time. My bad food patterns never broke. I didn't own a scale and I didn't want to know the number. I knew I had been steadily gaining a massive amount of weight since Junior High School. The first time I really weighed myself since high school was after my honeymoon when I was 22 years old. I weighed 296 lbs and I'm about 5'5". I literally could not believe it! I was in shock and pretty horrified by it, I didn't think I was that heavy, I didn't feel that heavy, I knew it was bad but I didn't think it was that bad. Within a year, through a very changed diet, I had gotten down to 239 lbs. I felt pretty accomplished. Then I started my first year of teaching and fell right back into my old bad habits. I gained almost all of it back within a year which brings me to now. My best friend had also struggled with her weight for her entire life. She has done Jenny Craig and lost a ton, and gained it all back, Weight Watchers and lost a ton and gained it all back, she even had a lap band put in to have it removed about a year and a half later, weighing more than when she had it put in. I talked to her about me getting back on the wagon, for good, and all she said to me was "I can't talk about this weight stuff". I had always been there for her so it was quite a sting. I've been back on my healthy wagon for 8 days and have gone down to 278 from 290. I know it's the initial change shock and water weight and that it will not come off this quickly for the end. Mainly I'm posting here to join a community of people I can talk to about the struggles I know I will encounter during this. So what I'm doing: My diet consists of a lot of different things, it' much more varied than it was the first time around so I'm hoping that will help me out. I basically eat a small breakfast, small lunch, mid-day snack, dinner, and a desert. If I feel like I'm starving I'll eat a small something to keep it going. I do keep a food journal which I didn't do before and I already really like it. I plan on updating weekly and if anyone has any questions for me at all please ask! I do better when I have people to talk to. Thanks!