Push presents?

[LaraOnline]

Date: 4/22/2009 10:27:02 PM
Author: SparklyLibra
How about a Mercedes C Class/ Kompressor in a nice pearly white???

That''s what one of my GF is getting this year....


The kicker: Ready for it? Wait.... Drumroll PUHLEASE!!!


It''s her first car EVAH!!!


Let''s just say that we will be taking her whip when we do lunches and pedi''s this summer....

FAr out, I just gotta get a different class of friend!

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I don''t love the name "push present" but I think the concept has been around for a while.

My dad had a "mother''s ring" made for my mom some 25 years ago, and it now has a little ruby & a little sapphire for my sister and myself.

My dad''s mom had a "mother''s ring" as well, with the birthstones for each of her four boys.... That ring is nearly 60 years old!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

I don't think my FI would go for it, haha, but you never know. We probably won't have to deal with that for a little while after we're married.

I love the idea, and I think the term "mommy ring" that someone used is great. Kind of reminds me of the rings I've known women to wear with the various birthstones of their children all in one ring. But I like the eternity bands people are doing - stackable, but one for each child, so they can be added, instead of having to change a single ring every time.

My cousin mentioned the idea of a push present recently at someone's bridal shower, and all the women around us hadn't even heard of the thing. Haha but I had, thanks to wonderful Pricescope!!

She claims everyone should have known about it since we're all from the South and it's a "Southern tradition!!" as she said... I'd never heard of it though, and obviously the rest of the family hadn't either.

*Mini-threadjack - Lara, I love your new avatar! So cute!

 

[White Orchid]

My mother got one when my sister was born 16 years ago. It wasn''t jewelry, but a china doll to go with my mother''s collection. I informed DH looong ago that I''d be getting one: a tri-coloured rolling ring to symbolize the new family. Now all I need is to get pregnant!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

We don't refer to it as a "push present," but we both really like the idea of there being something tangible (and shiny and sparkly) to remember the day our lives changed by adding to our family. Paul's mom got a ring when he was born 32 years ago as a surprise from his dad and when his brother was born, she got a necklace. I think Paul just has always thought that was what you're supposed to do, which makes it good for me!

I think the marketing of it, pushing it like it's something you *have* to do if you really care about your spouse/family, is silly and ridiculous. It's just like the big marketing that was huge about you *have* to spend 2 months salary on your engagement ring, *if* you *really* love the person you're about to marry. Silly. Somehow making precious moments like those into material "must haves" cheapens the whole thing and the symbolism behind it.

 

[partgypsy]

I''m one of those people who finds the term "push present" for some reason just, kind of offensive. As others said the child is the gift, and on the other hand it would never be enough payment to compensate bearing the child for 10 months and going through labor; it turns what is something incredible into a kind of base transaction. I do understand the idea to celebrate and commerate the birth; for example my father planted a flowering tree for each of our births. But akin to mother''s rings I don''t think it has to be tied so explicitly to payment/bribe of "giving birth".

JM2cents

 

[musey]

Yay push presents!! I already know exactly what I want

kid''s about 4+ years away, though....

 

[musey]

Date: 4/23/2009 7:23:28 PM
Author: part gypsy
I'm one of those people who finds the term 'push present' for some reason just, kind of offensive. As others said the child is the gift, and on the other hand it would never be enough payment to compensate bearing the child for 10 months and going through labor; it turns what is something incredible into a kind of base transaction. I do understand the idea to celebrate and commerate the birth; for example my father planted a flowering tree for each of our births. But akin to mother's rings I don't think it has to be tied so explicitly to payment/bribe of 'giving birth'.

JM2cents

I think of it more of a celebration/commemoration, as you alluded to

Along the lines of graduation presents, or even wedding rings.

Just like a college grad ring, the diploma is the payoff, the ring is a way to celebrate the work and the payoff. A wedding ring is a symbol of a huge moment in your life. I think a "push present" jewelry item is a really nice way to recognize and commemorate that large life moment, as well.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I was on a board in the past where there was a HUGE rant/vent thread about how offensive push presents are. I think it really does have to do with the wording. It makes it sound like a child is not enough of a gift for you, noooo, you have to have BLING!

That said, I think a little pendant with my childs birthstone on it would be super cute, but I most certainly do not feel like my husband HAS to get me anything. I can get it myself, and it certainly won''t cost much at all. It''s the sentiment, not the price or item.

 

[omieluv]

Date: 4/23/2009 11:06:27 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I was on a board in the past where there was a HUGE rant/vent thread about how offensive push presents are. I think it really does have to do with the wording. It makes it sound like a child is not enough of a gift for you, noooo, you have to have BLING!

That said, I think a little pendant with my childs birthstone on it would be super cute, but I most certainly do not feel like my husband HAS to get me anything. I can get it myself, and it certainly won''t cost much at all. It''s the sentiment, not the price or item.

Exactly!

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 4/23/2009 8:53:42 PM
Author: musey

Date: 4/23/2009 7:23:28 PM

Author: part gypsy

I'm one of those people who finds the term 'push present' for some reason just, kind of offensive. As others said the child is the gift, and on the other hand it would never be enough payment to compensate bearing the child for 10 months and going through labor; it turns what is something incredible into a kind of base transaction. I do understand the idea to celebrate and commerate the birth; for example my father planted a flowering tree for each of our births. But akin to mother's rings I don't think it has to be tied so explicitly to payment/bribe of 'giving birth'.


JM2cents

I think of it more of a celebration/commemoration, as you alluded to

Along the lines of graduation presents, or even wedding rings.


Just like a college grad ring, the diploma is the payoff, the ring is a way to celebrate the work and the payoff. A wedding ring is a symbol of a huge moment in your life. I think a 'push present' jewelry item is a really nice way to recognize and commemorate that large life moment, as well.

Yeah have to say, I think the whole 'down on push presents' is kind of reflection of the low status (and high expectations) that surround women who are mothers!

When a a child graduates from COLLEGE they get a present... When they graduaton from HS they go to a prom...

When a woman grows and successfully delivers a baby, changing her life and her body irrevocably and no doubt reigniting a faith in God she never knew she had...

she gets told that wanting to recognise or celebrate that fact FOR HERSELF is greedy?!!

How could anyone honestly think that a woman would go through pregnancy and birth for a JEWELLERY PRESENT bribe? It's bizarre to me. Only someone who thinks mothers 'so nothing all day' would think that way.

ETA: Have to say though, I personally do not live in an environment where mother's gift are marketed at all, except via the odd Tiffany's ad in a women's magazine (celebration rings)

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I didn''t look at it as a bribe. Certainly I would have had a child even without a gift. My DH and I both wanted to have something to represent her. My ring is quite meaningful to me. Someday she will have it and hopefully pass it down to her own daughter. Why is THAT any different than wanting an engagement ring? To me, they are all symbols of a happy, wonderful time. Nothing cynical about that.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 4/25/2009 4:01:08 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
I didn''t look at it as a bribe. Certainly I would have had a child even without a gift. My DH and I both wanted to have something to represent her. My ring is quite meaningful to me. Someday she will have it and hopefully pass it down to her own daughter. Why is THAT any different than wanting an engagement ring? To me, they are all symbols of a happy, wonderful time. Nothing cynical about that.

Its a beautiful ring Tac and so fitting for T!! I just love it!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 4/25/2009 4:04:40 PM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 4/25/2009 4:01:08 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

I didn''t look at it as a bribe. Certainly I would have had a child even without a gift. My DH and I both wanted to have something to represent her. My ring is quite meaningful to me. Someday she will have it and hopefully pass it down to her own daughter. Why is THAT any different than wanting an engagement ring? To me, they are all symbols of a happy, wonderful time. Nothing cynical about that.

Its a beautiful ring Tac and so fitting for T!! I just love it!!

Thanks Lor! I agree with Lara that NO ONE in their right mind would have a baby JUST for jewelry.

 

[Steel]

Date: 4/20/2009 6:40:20 PM
Author: snlee
I don''t like the term push present. I did get a ring to celebrate the birth of my son though.

I love it and wear it everyday.

Me either. I much prefer ''maternity ring''.
I have introduced DH to the idea so hope to get one when the time comes.
My thoughts are that it is a beautiful symbol of your child to wear daily if you so choose and an even more beautiful heirloom. I feel that they can have more poignant importance if the child does not survive birth or after and can aid mourning as a simple symbol. Hence why I dislike the term ''push present''.

 

[partgypsy]

I find the term maternity gift or ring much acceptable. I don''t know why, the term "push present" just seems derogatory to me.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 4/24/2009 11:35:51 PM
Author: LaraOnline

How could anyone honestly think that a woman would go through pregnancy and birth for a JEWELLERY PRESENT bribe? It''s bizarre to me. Only someone who thinks mothers ''so nothing all day'' would think that way.

ETA: Have to say though, I personally do not live in an environment where mother''s gift are marketed at all, except via the odd Tiffany''s ad in a women''s magazine (celebration rings)

Ditto - in the UK there is no marketing that I have ever seen for gifts for having a baby. I always thought my father''s tradition of buying my mother a gift for each of us was sweet (I was always given a gift for having to put up with a new sibling

) amd then I really heard about them on PS!

I''m also getting DH a ''fatherhood'' present for putting up with me over the last 9 months and being so incredibly kind and supportive - I gave him a new camera for our engagement and he''s getting an upgrade as a baby gift.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 4/25/2009 4:01:08 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Someday she will have it and hopefully pass it down to her own daughter.

That is a totally awesome idea!

I will acquire a maternity ring or rings one day

I'm not calling it a 'push present' anymore either. I agree, it's completely vulgar.
and really emphasises that 'HOLY COW HERE WE GO' phase of motherhood....when really, there's a lot more than that to it, isn't there..

 

[MakingTheGrade]

So reading some of the comments to that article was just a bit infuriating, lol. I love how men like to say things like "it''s just pregnancy, it''s natural". I hope when they have to pass a particularly large kidney stone or suffer testicle torsion, someone will be there to shrug and go "it''s natural, stop whining".

And it''s common to want to buy something tangible to remember and celebrate a memorable occasion, I know I''ll probably want something (not necessarily jewelery) to celebrate and remember the pregnancy. If anything, I think these people would be more insulted by expecting birthday presents ..you didn''t really do much work, lol.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We went to open a back account and the banker''s wife is 20-something weeks preggo with a little girl. We got talking and I asked if he was going to buy her a gift and he seemed to not know what I was talking about. I told him it is hard work, emotional time and would mean so much (even if it is something little). DH said "I thought L&D was fun!"

I told him he has no idea what he was talking about. Haha.

 

[Circe]

Date: 4/24/2009 11:35:51 PM
Author: LaraOnline
I think of it more of a celebration/commemoration, as you alluded to

Along the lines of graduation presents, or even wedding rings.



Just like a college grad ring, the diploma is the payoff, the ring is a way to celebrate the work and the payoff. A wedding ring is a symbol of a huge moment in your life. I think a ''push present'' jewelry item is a really nice way to recognize and commemorate that large life moment, as well.

Yeah have to say, I think the whole ''down on push presents'' is kind of reflection of the low status (and high expectations) that surround women who are mothers!

When a a child graduates from COLLEGE they get a present... When they graduaton from HS they go to a prom...


When a woman grows and successfully delivers a baby, changing her life and her body irrevocably and no doubt reigniting a faith in God she never knew she had...

she gets told that wanting to recognise or celebrate that fact FOR HERSELF is greedy?!!


How could anyone honestly think that a woman would go through pregnancy and birth for a JEWELLERY PRESENT bribe? It''s bizarre to me. Only someone who thinks mothers ''so nothing all day'' would think that way.


ETA: Have to say though, I personally do not live in an environment where mother''s gift are marketed at all, except via the odd Tiffany''s ad in a women''s magazine (celebration rings)[/quote]

Lara, I love you. This is brilliant.

I haven''t had a child yet, but when I do, I most certainly plan to commemorate the event with something tangible that will remind me of *that* day, *that* accomplishment: I will have my child for the rest of my life, but my child will grow up and grow away, inevitably, and I think it''ll be nice to have something to occasionally draw my memory back to the wonder of first meeting that new person. And, since as my presence on this board would indicate, I happen to be a jewelry person ... what makes more sense than that?

 

[nycbkgirl]

so i need help designing my push present!!!...i had TWINS! i owe it to myself

i need to incorporate my niece (born 2.10.05= amethyst) and my babies born (4.16.09= diamond

)..my niece has been a daughter to me since she was born thats y she is always considered my kid when it comes to anything! (sis and i are extremlely close)

i def want a ring...
...so i was thinking perhaps...a princess cut amethyst with 2 diamond solitaires on the sides??..(since niece is older)

 

[kiett98]

Date: 5/5/2009 9:45:46 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
so i need help designing my push present!!!...i had TWINS! i owe it to myself

i need to incorporate my niece (born 2.10.05= amethyst) and my babies born (4.16.09= diamond

)..my niece has been a daughter to me since she was born thats y she is always considered my kid when it comes to anything! (sis and i are extremlely close)

i def want a ring...
...so i was thinking perhaps...a princess cut amethyst with 2 diamond solitaires on the sides??..(since niece is older)

I think a three-stone ring with an amethyst and two diamonds sounds great!