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Home PS Mommy thread with toddlers 12-36 months

Date: 4/7/2010 12:32:54 PM
Author: janinegirly
jas: i know it's hard, but would also not worry. No other signs of autism so if this is just about words, then I would just wait and see. Are they 18 mo's? If so, wait until 2 years and then consider some therapy then just as a precaution-- but honestly I've heard of so many toddlers who spoke later. My cousin (yes don't laugh, I have a cousin who is 3 years old--my aunt/uncle adopted) didn't say a word at 2 yrs old! Just pointed! We were all worried. Now he talks like a little smarty pants (asking us to take him to Target,etc).

And since when was it important that they pronounce words well? I'm confused on that one..C says a lot of words but quite a few are only decipherable by me! I say take it with a grain of salt. He comprehends and that is the most important part. Hugs, though,..it's hard when a dr. tells you these things even if you know it's not exactly accurate! Plus there is such discrepancy between docs. I remember Tgal saying her doc said 30 words by 18 mo's. I have been counting C's words religiously since then. Go to her 18 mo prepared, and he asks if she says 5 words! So again, grain of salt.
Janine, I was just about to bring that up. THAT particular doc was a fill-in for my ped who does not work on Wednesdays (I didn't know that and got an appointment on Wed because it was the only day available since I forgot to book the 15 mo appt in advance). I believe I went to the doc at around 16 months for Amelia's 15 month appointment. I was shocked when she said toddlers that age should be saying around 30 words. I remember that well because that particular doctor also dismissed the "strawberry" that Amelia had on her temple.
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Amelia's 18 month appt was actually when she was 19 months. Her normal ped asked if she spoke and I said, well, not really. I told him the other doctor said she should have been saying 30 words 3 months prior. He laughed and said, "Sure, in an ideal world. But if she can least say 5 words, I would not be worried." I felt SO much better (and I LOVE her normal ped vs that other icky woman).

Sure enough, one month later, she started talking (or attempting to talk) like crazy. BTW, Janine, sorry to have scared you...obviously Amelia's usual doctor is on the same wavelength as yours!!!
 
Oh, and re: pronunciation - currently Amelia is calling my FIL "Gam-ma", so obviously it isn''t an exact science.
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Jas You doctor is a jerk face. There is something called a RANGE of normal, and then there is an average. If a child is not at the average it does not mean there is a problem. The range of normal for language development is much wider than any of us know. Some kids only have a few words at two years old. This is normal. Sounds to me like your sons are both in the normal range. Keep on keeping on, why go looking for worries? It is good to do a little screening, but the guilt trip thing is a crock.
 
Date: 4/7/2010 1:20:53 PM
Author: dreamer_d
Jas You doctor is a jerk face. There is something called a RANGE of normal, and then there is an average. If a child is not at the average it does not mean there is a problem. The range of normal for language development is much wider than any of us know. Some kids only have a few words at two years old. This is normal. Sounds to me like your sons are both in the normal range. Keep on keeping on, why go looking for worries? It is good to do a little screening, but the guilt trip thing is a crock.
Ditto. Seriously, I can''t believe your doc says you aren''t reading/singing to him enough.
 
Tgal: oh no worries--I actually thought that was some real guideline so operated under the assumption. C did have 30, but then I counted sounds (woof woof) and words only I could undertand (noah = snow,etc). I was just surprised when he said 5 since I kept thinking 30! I guess the take away is there is such a wide range to "normal." We all know that 2 year old who did not talk at all and now is a blabber mouth! If things like hearing, eye contact, comprehension can be checked off as good, then really he''ll be just fine. I mean maybe he is just more shy than his brother!
 
Happy 2nd birthday J!!!
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Thank you, Tgal, MrsM, Janine, and DD. I think you all echoed my intellectual problem with this. I know my kid. He''s bright, he''s comprehending. He is choosing at this time not to talk...my gut tells me it''s because it''s the one thing his brother surpassed him on early. It''s his brother''s thing. J. is a mimic and is able to say things clearly. L. is not a mimic, but he''s saying things.

The doctor asked if he was saying 12-15 words. (Uh, no. Neither of them)...I said that Jackson is speaking well and just wanted to let her know that Logan has words/vocabulary and high comprehension, but his pronunciation is not as far along as his brother. I know that he''s in normal range, and I know that both DH and I come from families of late talkers.

I also know that she''s covering her bases and is a diagnostician. I guess I didn''t like the underlying assumption that there is a problem. I certainly didn''t like the implication that I am the problem. I had a brief flash in my mind...those 30-50 minutes a day when they watch Sesame Street -- should I have been talking to him? Those times I let them play alone without my intervention -- should I have been talking to him?

That''s the illogical Mom Guilt and Worry. I can''t shake it...there is also hearing loss on both sides of our family (DH is deaf in one ear), and I know the issues that can arise with speech/reading/school if this is the case...so I worry. I worry that he used to say a few words and once his brother started talking he regressed...that regression startles me on an emotional level, although on an intellectual level, I''m ok with it.

You are all super supportive...thanks for letting me come and worry here.

The boys are sleeping now, so I can stop singing.
 
Date: 4/7/2010 12:47:30 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Oh, and re: pronunciation - currently Amelia is calling my FIL ''Gam-ma'', so obviously it isn''t an exact science.
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Dh taught Jackson to call me "Daddy no balls" since he doesn''t say "Mama" yet. I married quite the funny man.
 
Date: 4/7/2010 1:44:36 PM
Author: janinegirly
Tgal: oh no worries--I actually thought that was some real guideline so operated under the assumption. C did have 30, but then I counted sounds (woof woof) and words only I could undertand (noah = snow,etc). I was just surprised when he said 5 since I kept thinking 30! I guess the take away is there is such a wide range to ''normal.'' We all know that 2 year old who did not talk at all and now is a blabber mouth! If things like hearing, eye contact, comprehension can be checked off as good, then really he''ll be just fine. I mean maybe he is just more shy than his brother!
Ha, well I counted those words too, but was hard pressed to get to 7! Amelia blabbers so much that I am NOT in a hurry for her to be entirely coherent because I hate answering questions.
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I think all of us know kids on each end of the spectrum, but it is hard when it''s your own kid. Mama worry as Jackie put it.

Heck, I even worry when it''s not my own kid. My friend (mother of the screamer) is going through the speech issue now with her son. Just went to the ENT this week and cleared him of any hearing issues, so now they can get free speech therapy. I think he''s OK, but I''ll be much happier once we KNOW he''s fine. Being a mom makes me just want every child to grow up healthy and happy (yes, I know non parents do too; I''m just saying that I''m evil and didn''t care as much personally before I had one.)
 
Dreamer, little B is definitely the one in charge in our family.

jas, I think each baby develop at it''s own pace, I don''t think you should be worry...You can start to worry if by age 3 and Logan is still not talking
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Happy Birthday to Jadie!!
 
Date: 4/7/2010 1:57:43 PM
Author: jas
Thank you, Tgal, MrsM, Janine, and DD. I think you all echoed my intellectual problem with this. I know my kid. He's bright, he's comprehending. He is choosing at this time not to talk...my gut tells me it's because it's the one thing his brother surpassed him on early. It's his brother's thing. J. is a mimic and is able to say things clearly. L. is not a mimic, but he's saying things.

The doctor asked if he was saying 12-15 words. (Uh, no. Neither of them)...I said that Jackson is speaking well and just wanted to let her know that Logan has words/vocabulary and high comprehension, but his pronunciation is not as far along as his brother. I know that he's in normal range, and I know that both DH and I come from families of late talkers.

I also know that she's covering her bases and is a diagnostician. I guess I didn't like the underlying assumption that there is a problem. I certainly didn't like the implication that I am the problem. I had a brief flash in my mind...those 30-50 minutes a day when they watch Sesame Street -- should I have been talking to him? Those times I let them play alone without my intervention -- should I have been talking to him?

That's the illogical Mom Guilt and Worry. I can't shake it...there is also hearing loss on both sides of our family (DH is deaf in one ear), and I know the issues that can arise with speech/reading/school if this is the case...so I worry. I worry that he used to say a few words and once his brother started talking he regressed...that regression startles me on an emotional level, although on an intellectual level, I'm ok with it.

You are all super supportive...thanks for letting me come and worry here.

The boys are sleeping now, so I can stop singing.
First of all, daddy no balls, lol...funny couple, you.

And I know since you have a sense of humor, part of you is being funny above, and part of you probably does wonder. I think TV is great for teaching kids words that we don't say in our daily repetoire. That's why I also like exposing Amelia to different people. Amelia has wood food toys and there is one that I always call "Hot Dog." One day she came up to me with it in the open palm of her hand. I said, "Oh, there is the hot dog." She looked at me, smiled and said enthusiastically, "SAUSAAAAAAAGE!" I chuckled for at least a good solid 2 minutes. I know she got that from the nanny, because I've never called it sausage. Probably the same principle applies when they are old enough to comprehend what's up on TV.

Oh, and I'm completely deaf in one ear like your DH. I'm convinced it makes you dumb when it comes to math (since I have a hard time trying to calcuate a 15% tip, hehehe), but I excelled at speech and language. English major, in fact.
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I always wondered what the hoopla was in elementary school when I had to be taken out of class to get that extra special hearing test because I bombed the general screening. And they did it EVERY freakin' year. I just shook my head even at that age and thought, "Geez, I'm deaf. I know that. Can we all move on and let me just stay in class already?" If I didn't do well, it's because they kept taking me out of class to test me!!

It never, ever held me back. My mom still has mom guilt over it because she thinks something happened to me and I lost my hearing. I tell her all the time that I feel sorry for folks who can hear out of two ears. THEY can't easily drown out the chainsaw who is my snoring husband at night!!
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Date: 4/7/2010 2:00:22 PM
Author: TravelingGal


Date: 4/7/2010 1:44:36 PM
Author: janinegirly
Tgal: oh no worries--I actually thought that was some real guideline so operated under the assumption. C did have 30, but then I counted sounds (woof woof) and words only I could undertand (noah = snow,etc). I was just surprised when he said 5 since I kept thinking 30! I guess the take away is there is such a wide range to 'normal.' We all know that 2 year old who did not talk at all and now is a blabber mouth! If things like hearing, eye contact, comprehension can be checked off as good, then really he'll be just fine. I mean maybe he is just more shy than his brother!
Ha, well I counted those words too, but was hard pressed to get to 7! Amelia blabbers so much that I am NOT in a hurry for her to be entirely coherent because I hate answering questions.
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I think all of us know kids on each end of the spectrum, but it is hard when it's your own kid. Mama worry as Jackie put it.

Heck, I even worry when it's not my own kid. My friend (mother of the screamer) is going through the speech issue now with her son. Just went to the ENT this week and cleared him of any hearing issues, so now they can get free speech therapy. I think he's OK, but I'll be much happier once we KNOW he's fine. Being a mom makes me just want every child to grow up healthy and happy (yes, I know non parents do too; I'm just saying that I'm evil and didn't care as much personally before I had one.)
ha, so true! I mean I was the one trying to add up all of C's words as I was lying in bed at night--so obviously I wasn't so relaxed
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Tgal -- thank you for sharing. I hope I didn''t sound fatalistic re: hearing issues. I am happy to hear your story (which is similar to DH''s); I think speech/language issues can arise with more severe hearing issues, but they don''t always. This is the bad thing about having an education background...it''s easier to go back to all the case studies where Johnny has 20% hearing loss and never learned to read and became an ax murderer. I may have skipped some of the finer details in that homework assignment. And, again, when it''s my kid, of course I think zebras and not horses when the doctor hears hoofprints.
 
Awww...Jadie said thank you to you lovely PS aunties!

DD--
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for AF.
Gave you a little scare there huh?
As to your question, I''d say that the little monster ruled the rooster since we can no longer sleep in as late as we want :P

Jas--
Like the others said, crummy of the doctor to make you feel like you are not talking to your kids.
It seems like the average age when the kids start getting into talking is around 20 months.
And even then, they do what I call baby speak because only a mother can decipher and understands what they are saying.

TGal--
Hehe...so cute ... gamma.
A future scientist maybe? :P
 
first off, Happy Birthday Jadie!!!


second, jas, I can understand a doc. wanted to keep a close eye on mile markers but that dr. seems like a nutcase. I''ve never met you but my guess is you talk to your little men a ton. some people even believe some kids are late talkers because other family members actually are doing all the talking for them, so a parent/sibling can actually talk too much. Jake still doesn''t speak a ton of complete sentences and he''s 2. he seemed to talk a lot later than my girls and If I remember correctly only had a few real words at his 18 month check-up. his ped. wasn''t concerned at all. It really does seem like just in the last month or so Jake is putting words together like "school bus" instead of just saying "bus." He still won''t say our dog''s name and just calls her "dog" or "doggie." my niece who is 6 weeks younger than Jake has a much larger vocabulary and speaks in sentences all the time. She still has a few ramblings where I can''t understand her at all though and Jake doesn''t have all the words but when he does talk it''s very clear to anyone what he is saying. anyway, all that to say, please do not feel guilty and go with your gut. You know L is smart and understanding and the speech will come. oh and that is hilarious that your hubby taught him to say "daddy no balls"...seriously lol over here!!!
 
Date: 4/7/2010 1:58:52 PM
Author: jas
Date: 4/7/2010 12:47:30 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Oh, and re: pronunciation - currently Amelia is calling my FIL ''Gam-ma'', so obviously it isn''t an exact science.
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Dh taught Jackson to call me ''Daddy no balls'' since he doesn''t say ''Mama'' yet. I married quite the funny man.

LOL...
 
Lili-- your avatar is gorgeous!!!
 
Date: 4/7/2010 2:15:56 PM
Author: jas
Tgal -- thank you for sharing. I hope I didn''t sound fatalistic re: hearing issues. I am happy to hear your story (which is similar to DH''s); I think speech/language issues can arise with more severe hearing issues, but they don''t always. This is the bad thing about having an education background...it''s easier to go back to all the case studies where Johnny has 20% hearing loss and never learned to read and became an ax murderer. I may have skipped some of the finer details in that homework assignment. And, again, when it''s my kid, of course I think zebras and not horses when the doctor hears hoofprints.
No, but I do understand that I actually CAN hear fine...just not to my left.
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If there were something wrong with hearing over all, even a small percentage, as you say, I would imagine that it could impact speech. Never really looked into it though.

I really do understand, having a bit of a late talker myself (and a kid who I still think is a bit "behind.") Motor skills I never really worried about. I figured if all was healthy, she''d learn to walk, feed herself, etc etc eventually. Speech seems to be some kind of key to developing "properly" to so many things. And an indicator that something may be wrong on other levels. There are more educational toys than you can shake a stick at and all of them geared to teaching 1 year olds how to say their ABCs and 123s, and then some. It''s frustrating and guilt inducing! Especially since I am not a huge fan of educational toys (this coming from someone who spent many many years in the children''s educational software business). Amelia prefers balls, sticks, and lego blocks! I love that she prefers to take her stuffed animals and role play, but then she''s slower in speech and I think, better whip out that phonics toy!!!
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I just wonder what goes through their little heads. My friend''s son (the one who just went to the ENT doc) is 2.5 years old and just isn''t into talking. He can parrot, pronounce things fine and is fairly bright. Sometimes I look a little harder at him and just wonder what he''s thinking and why he doesn''t talk. And then I realize he''s having a grand old time playing and being a kid and doesn''t really care what I think.
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Oh, and thanks Mrs. S -- isn''t it funny...I wasn''t worried before I took them to the doctor.
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Date: 4/7/2010 2:15:56 PM
Author: jas
Tgal -- thank you for sharing. I hope I didn''t sound fatalistic re: hearing issues. I am happy to hear your story (which is similar to DH''s); I think speech/language issues can arise with more severe hearing issues, but they don''t always. This is the bad thing about having an education background...it''s easier to go back to all the case studies where Johnny has 20% hearing loss and never learned to read and became an ax murderer. I may have skipped some of the finer details in that homework assignment. And, again, when it''s my kid, of course I think zebras and not horses when the doctor hears hoofprints.

jas, I had hearing issues as a kid too. I had to have tubes 7, yes 7 times throughout my childhood. I think the good news is if it''s caught early you can totally be aggressive and most of the time kids will overcompensate for the imperfect hearing and go on to be really great students. I truly believe that most of a child''s school success comes from the involvement of the parents. I also think it''s normal for mom''s to worry about things and autism is in the news so much and seems like such a scary unknown. I thought about it from time to time and stayed on the lookout for signs, especially with Jake b/c there is a higher rate in boys. I remember being worried or stressed out during my pregnancies. it''s nothing compared to the mommy stress/worry.
 
Date: 4/7/2010 2:16:05 PM
Author: lili
TGal--
Hehe...so cute ... gamma.
A future scientist maybe? :P
Or more likely someone who won''t pay attention to gender roles.
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My poor FIL...he keeps thinking she''s calling my MIL when Amelia says gamma, but she calls grandma "nana" so gamma is more definitely her way of saying grandpa!
 
Date: 4/7/2010 1:57:43 PM
Author: jas
Thank you, Tgal, MrsM, Janine, and DD. I think you all echoed my intellectual problem with this. I know my kid. He''s bright, he''s comprehending. He is choosing at this time not to talk...my gut tells me it''s because it''s the one thing his brother surpassed him on early. It''s his brother''s thing. J. is a mimic and is able to say things clearly. L. is not a mimic, but he''s saying things.

The doctor asked if he was saying 12-15 words. (Uh, no. Neither of them)...I said that Jackson is speaking well and just wanted to let her know that Logan has words/vocabulary and high comprehension, but his pronunciation is not as far along as his brother. I know that he''s in normal range, and I know that both DH and I come from families of late talkers.

I also know that she''s covering her bases and is a diagnostician. I guess I didn''t like the underlying assumption that there is a problem. I certainly didn''t like the implication that I am the problem. I had a brief flash in my mind...those 30-50 minutes a day when they watch Sesame Street -- should I have been talking to him? Those times I let them play alone without my intervention -- should I have been talking to him?

That''s the illogical Mom Guilt and Worry. I can''t shake it...there is also hearing loss on both sides of our family (DH is deaf in one ear), and I know the issues that can arise with speech/reading/school if this is the case...so I worry. I worry that he used to say a few words and once his brother started talking he regressed...that regression startles me on an emotional level, although on an intellectual level, I''m ok with it.

You are all super supportive...thanks for letting me come and worry here.

The boys are sleeping now, so I can stop singing.
HAHAHAHAHA!
 
Man, this new job doesn't leave me any time to keep up on PS!

Just wanted to pop in and say to Blen, we HAVE the creapy penguin. And it freaked Kyle out the first few months. Now he just ignores it, and I'm trying to think of who to give the thing to next. But it wasn't MIL that gave it to us, it was another mom that said her kid loved it!
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JADIE!!!

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY GEORGE!!!

DD
Yay for AF.
We like to think that we are the ones in charge, but we do let her get away with some things.

Jas
Boo on the pedi for making you worry. Our pedi also asked us if M says 5-10 words at her 18 months visit. DH actually asked pedi about M''s speech development at her 15 months visit, and pedi said she seems fine since she was comprehending and babbling. Heck, she is 20 months, still babbling a lot and not combining words.
LOL on "daddy no balls".

Tgal
Amelia speaks very clearly from the FB video. Her pronunciation is great, better than other 2 yrs old.

MrsS
Interesting theory on the family talking too much for the toddler.

We went to visit our friend who just had a baby in hospital. Meena didn''t care to look at the baby, but she wanted DH to stop to look at the babies when we passed by the nursery in their little beds. It made me realized how much Jaron had grown, and the baby was 8lbs 12oz. They just grow so fast.
 
Oh, I forgot to wish George a Happy Birthday!!

QT -- thanks for your story. Sometimes I get a better picture here than from Dr. ScareMe of "normal." What a bittersweet moment you had at the hospital.
 
lili
Forgot to answer your question about the preschool/daycare. I double checked the price again, and it''s actually almost $590 for 5 days week, and it''s like $530 for 4 days week. The daycare is in DH''s office building, and is opened M-F from 6am-6pm. So M would be there from when DH gets to work until he gets off.
 
TGal--
I''m w/ you on the no-frill toys.
I like that J prefers to role-play w/ her simple stuffed animals.
It''s funny seeing her dress (or have us dress) them in her clothes or provide voices for them.

QT--
Wow, that''s nice that daycare is cheap and at your DH''s work place.
The is very convenient.

Blen--
Happy 1st bday George!
Looks like there''s going to be another april 7th baby (jcrow''s baby girl ^.^)
 
Wanted to wish George a happy birthday too! Didn''t realize it was today!
 
DD--
Forgot to cheer
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for Hunter''s milestone!
Don''t you just love the way the teeter tooter about?
And it''s so cute when they start to manuver about w/ the side walks and skirting around objects.

MrsS--
I don''t know how you find time to read and post w/ 3 kids, a dog, and a job.
I don''t the luxury of sitting in front of the computer all day ^.6
 
Didn''t realize George''s birthday is today too! Happy birthday George!

Wow, THREE PS babies born on the same day!

This thread is moving! I can''t keep up!

jas, so sorry your pedi sucks and made you worry. Can''t believe she said you''re not reading/singing to him enough! I''m glad you''re switching docs! Sounds to me they both boys are within the normal range.

We had D''s 18 month appointment today. We saw another pedi in the practice since our regular one is out. The doctor didn''t even ask how many words he says. He could hear/see cars, trucks, and buses outside the window so he kept saying those words during the appointment. Pedi just asked if he''s saying any other words other than vehicles.
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Even though I think D has a good amount of words in his vocabulary, he definitely doesn''t pronounce things well but well enough for us to understand what he''s trying to say. Words like bye, he said clearly before but no more often than not it doesn''t sound like bye now!

He''s 23 lbs 4 oz, 31.75 inches, which I couldn''t believe. Up from 21 lbs, 29.5 inches. I thought they measured him wrong, so I put him back down to see if they drew the line correctly and it looks right. He grew over 2 inches!

We''ve noticed sometimes one eye goes to the center more so we brought that up. Pedi is going to refer us to an opthamologist to get it checked out just in case. Even though it''s just as a precaution and pedi doesn''t think there''s anything wrong, it''s hard not to worry. I was hoping they would say it was nothing.

Pedi aslo said he shouldn''t be drinking more than 16 ounces of milk now. I was surprised since at 15 months, our pedi said 16-24 is good, no more than 30. So with his milk intake down, I think I''m going to seriously tackle switching to a cup very soon. We haven''t made any progress mostly because I haven''t been trying much. I think we''ll just go cold turkey one day and only offer the cup with milk. It''ll probably be a tough 3-5 days but he''ll learn.
 
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