Proposing without a ring

[Idealistic]

Just out of curiousity, how many people would propose without a ring. Once the girlfriend accepts the proposal and then the couple would go ring shopping together. Is this too weird? Or should the boyfriend have purchased the ring already and then ask?

 

[Ellen]

My hubby proposed without a ring. He knew how particular I am, so he wasn''t about to try and pick something out himself. I''m glad he didn''t. I don''t think it''s weird at all.

 

[tanuki]

My husband proposed with a ring that I hated with the power of a thousand suns.
He didn''t understand that I am very particular about jewelry and bought something entirely wrong for a person with a small hand and simple tastes.
Wrong design for the setting, wrong color, not simple and delicate enough.
Also the stones were "dead". They may have sparkled in the jewelry store, but when you got them out of that special lighting - dull, dull, dull.

It was a very uncomfortable start to our engagement. Loved the guy, hated the ring.

Just tell your intended fiancee that you haven''t bought a ring yet because you know that she is the one who will have to wear it every day for years and you wanted to be sure you understood what she liked. She will love to go ring shopping with you.

 

[Ellen]

My husband proposed with a ring that I hated with the power of a thousand suns.



lmao! Sorry, I know it isn''t funny, but THAT was.

 

[ladykemma]

Date: 10/1/2006 2:42:05 AM
Author:Idealistic
Just out of curiousity, how many people would propose without a ring. Once the girlfriend accepts the proposal and then the couple would go ring shopping together. Is this too weird? Or should the boyfriend have purchased the ring already and then ask?

my hubby proposed without a ring, then we went out and selected one togther.

i think it''s weird the surprise method.

 

[justjulia]

This is a good question. When I was a young thing, my husband proposed over the phone and we picked our rings together. A little history: We met on a blind date, 3 weeks before I was to leave to work overseas. He proposed long distance after I''d left and many letters and phone calls. He joined me where I was a yr later and we were married there. We grew into this ring thing together. Now, I have a daughter and someday I dream of some man getting down on one knee in a beautiful place, proposing with a ring. Do I miss having it done that way? Maybe. But my experience is so unique, and I treasure it for the experience it was. (I do envy you girls who got to wear the ring for the year of being fianced-I missed out on that!)

It annoys me sometimes about how much women do not know about the whole ring purchasing process, which leads to inappropriate expectations and too much pressure on the guy to pull some kind of miracle in a relatively short period of time. Thank goodness there are places like Pricescope to help both partners become educated, perhaps together.

So, I see it both ways. I''m hopelessly romantic in that I like a nice surprise. I am also pretty picky. Darn it.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

We talked aboput getting married for awhile, went to look at rings together. And then he bought the ring and proposed. That is my suggestion. Go look at rings to see what she likes. Then come online and buy a great ideal cut diamond, and then propose.

 

[FacetFire]

I actually think it''s a great idea! Would save a lot of potential future headaches because suprise rings are risky unless you know exactly what she wants.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 10/1/2006 2:42:05 AM
Author:Idealistic
Just out of curiousity, how many people would propose without a ring. Once the girlfriend accepts the proposal and then the couple would go ring shopping together. Is this too weird? Or should the boyfriend have purchased the ring already and then ask?

I''m a big fan of proposing without a ring. My (now) husband did just that....for the same reasons mentioned. He wanted me to pick the ring since I was going to wear it.

I''m delighted he did it that way.

 

[gailrmv]

I think it is a great idea particularly if you can shop together right away for the ring. One of my friends'' fiances did that, he proposed over lunch at a nice restaurant near Michigan Ave in Chicago and they spent the afternoon at Tiffany and Cartier shopping for her ring. Did they get the best ring for their $, probably not, but talk about a memorable experience!

 

[lumpkin]

We did the opposite. We went shopping for rings, then when he got it, he officially proposed with it. Same thing as proposing without a ring and then buying it together, except backwards! Worked out well, been married 17 years.

 

[onedrop]

Proposing without a ring is not weird at all. Though truthfully, before I came to PS I had never heard of this actually happening, but now I realize that it''s very common. My S.O. doesn''t know a thing about diamonds, and his choices in gifts of jewelry for me have been hit or miss. So when it came to choosing an engagement ring he did the smart thing and left that to me. If you are certain that she wants a proposal with a ring, it would be best to try and make that happen. However, if she is not the type to care, then I don''t see the harm in proposing w/o a ring, especially if you explain that you wanted her to chose exactly what she wants.

 

[Julian]

I think it's great to propose without a ring if your gf has hinted that she wants a special kind of ring. If she's just dying to get engaged and doesn't care what the ring looks like then propose with a ring.

But here's the basic checklist you should know before buying.
Make sure you know whether she wants:

1. Yellow gold? White gold? Platinum?
2. Cut of diamond: heart/RB/asscher/emerald/princess/pear/marquise/jubilee/lucida/radiant
3. Is she expecting a certain size/clarity/color?
4. Simple or elaborate setting?

See why it's good to communicate before buying a ring? LOL. It can be complicated!

Good luck and congrats!

 

[diamondfan]

I agree that it can be fine either way, but I think if you know your girl''s taste, it should be easy to pick something she will love. You can always be browsing by a store and stop to look in the window and ask, do you like that? Let her say, whatever she will say (yes, but I prefer white metal, I like the stone shape though) or No, it is too fussy for me...etc...you get the idea. With a bit of detective work it should not be too hard. However there is nothing wrong with going together after the proposal, you know your girl best...

 

[msdarlinjoy]

Hi Idealistic ~

I do not think it is weird to propose without an engagement ring.

I think the main purpose of proposing oneself to your beloved is to not just tell her, but to show her how much your love for eachother has grown into a beautiful relationship that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. To me, you can do this without "The ring".

If you want to have a ring, make one out of a gum wrapper!

I have a friend who''s husband did just that! He wanted her to be able to pick out something she would be comfortable with wearing, and love. So, he made a ring out of a wrigleys speramint gum wrapper, wrote out a poem of why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her (he rehearsed it 100 times), then sappily got down on one knee by a fountain, with a hired spanish guitarist playing on the other side strumming, and he profesed his love to her and proposed with the gum wrapper ring!

Good luck and best wishes to you!

Have a great day!

 

[aquarius4u]

hubby on the other hand, just presented a solitaire ring with a stone that looks like a ballpen''s tip, and i guess it did the trick...

 

[Oleander]

Date: 10/1/2006 8:53:05 AM
Author: diamondseeker2006
We talked aboput getting married for awhile, went to look at rings together. And then he bought the ring and proposed. That is my suggestion. Go look at rings to see what she likes. Then come online and buy a great ideal cut diamond, and then propose.

Or buy in a store. There are pros and cons to both.

diamondseeker2006: This is how we did it also, like you. I went shopping on two occasions with him so he could see what my tastes were, and then he did the rest himself.

I have to say, it was _really nice_ to be proposed to with a ring! But maybe I say that because my husband picked out exactly what I wanted (he was smart to listen to me) but enlarged the stone, which was a huge surprise. It was very exciting to wear that ring right away, show my family, and to hear about his going to the store and shopping for it on his own.

I don''t think proposing either with the ring or without is strange; all proposals are great! I am surprised to read here that some think buying the ring ahead is bizarre. If you know what she likes, I believe you can purchase something very close to what she would pick out on her own. But if you know she is a control freak (like I am about pianos) then you would be better shopping with her to make the purchase.

 

[Julian]

No, I don''t think it''s bizarre to propose with a ring! LOL. I''m like you, Oleander. I saw my ring for the first time when he proposed to me. All he knew was platinum, RB & simple setting. That''s all I cared about, really. If he''d gone for a princess or asscher, I think I would have been equally delighted! Ditto on the setting.

He had bought me a lot of jewelry before, so I knew he was well schooled in my taste.

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 10/1/2006 10:32:36 AM
Author: aljdewey

Date: 10/1/2006 2:42:05 AM

Author:Idealistic

Just out of curiousity, how many people would propose without a ring. Once the girlfriend accepts the proposal and then the couple would go ring shopping together. Is this too weird? Or should the boyfriend have purchased the ring already and then ask?

I''m a big fan of proposing without a ring. My (now) husband did just that....for the same reasons mentioned. He wanted me to pick the ring since I was going to wear it.


I''m delighted he did it that way.

same with me.

 

[kcoursolle]

I also think this is a viable option for those who want to surprise their girlfriend, but want her to get a ring that she loves. A surprise that isn''t what she wants can be devistating as we''ve seen here with dissappointed fiance''s who were not involved in the search process.

I think the key is to get a little creative when proposing since you don''t have a ring. There are a few other threads on this topic too if you do a search for it.

 

[littlelysser]

I''m all for proposing without a ring. Better to allow your future wife choose EXACTLY what she wants.

If you feel like you want to get her "something" when you propose, why not a ring - not diamond, something relatively inexpensive. That way she''ll have a memento of the proposal and will have the diamond ring she loves and wants.

 

[jayreneepea]

My dh proposed without a ring also. He said "how could I be so presumptuous to choose a ring for you to wear the rest of your life?" LOL Little did he know that it was only 12 years till the first upgrade! Anyway, he asked me to marry him at a very romantic candlelite dinner on the water in Carmel, CA. 2 days later when we got home from our romantic/engagement getaway, we went shopping together and picked out a ring. I had always had visions of being proposed to with a solitaire, then picking out a setting together. Luckily, dh didn't do it that way as he kept telling me that a 1/2 ct. was sufficient -- until he saw it on my fat finger, then he decided I needed at least a 1ct.

 

[february2003bride]

Just wanted to add that my DH proposed withOUT my e-ring and I''m glad that he did! I wanted to pick it out with him and had a BLAST doing so!

On the flip side, my best friend went looking before her FI proposed but after she told him what she wanted, she stayed out of it and insisted that he propose without her knowing when, how and with what ring (but there had to be a ring with the question!).

 

[reader]

FH proposed with a sterling silver band set with a garnet, and frankly, I think the posey rings (the ones set with romantic verses) in sterling silver would be a great placeholder ring. I found some here http://www.sapphirelane.com/POSEY%20RINGS.htm but I haven''t dealt with this company to see how they are about shipping.