jennypoo
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2007
- Messages
- 55
Hello! I''m newly registered to the forums, but I''ve been lurking for the past few days. You guys give really solid advice, so here it goes...
I''ve been with my BF for 8 years this August. We''ve been dating since I was 18 and he was 19. We''re now 26 and 27. He''s always said he wants to marry me, but he wouldn''t propose while we were still in school and living at home with our parents for obvious reasons.
Well, we''re both done school, have stable full-time careers and purchased our first home one year ago this past January.
Around Christmas time, he began talking about looking at rings to my brother (my brother is 24 and they get along great), and my brother leaked this information to me. I was SO excited at the prospect that it might finally happen, then when Christmas morning came and went with no ring, I was crushed.
We''ve touched upon the topic a few times since (marriage, not rings), and we''re definitely both on the same page. We had one big blow up two months ago due to me catching a WICKED case of engagement fever (I recently signed up for "facebook" and discovered that most of my former classmates were recently engaged and/or married) and I FREAKED. As the scenario usually goes, the engaged/married friends had been dating for much less time than my BF and I.
He calmed me down by reassuring me that we WILL be getting married someday, and that if he gave me a ring right now (meaning at the time of the blow-up), it would be only to pacify me, and he doesn''t want to do it that way. He said he knew how important it was to me and how much it means to me to be engaged, and assured me that it will happen, but didn''t give any indication as to WHEN. I promised never to mention it again, and I''ve been good so far.
Lately he''s been exhibiting some strange behavior and dropping some hints... such as:
* His buddy recently purchased a house which his girlfriend will be moving in to. (My BF and I bought our house jointly.) His buddy asked my BF if he should do the same, and my BF made a point of telling me that this is what he told his friend: "If this is the girl you''re planning on starting a life with and marrying some day, I would totally buy it jointly with her." I thought it was bizarre that he made a point of telling me this!
* He recently sold his toy (a little red sports compact he bought when he was 19 and spent a ton of money fixing up / decking out). He said he was going to use the proceeds of sale as a downpayment for a new toy right away, but instead I found out he opened up a new savings account and put it in there. Now, this may be because he wants to take time deciding on what he wants, although he hasn''t been car shopping lately.
* He''s been making trips out of town quite frequently with his best friend to "look at baseball stuff" yet he always seems to come home empty handed? (He always told me that when he decides to buy a ring, he''d go to this jewelery store out of town that is owned by the brother of a guy he works with.)
* He recently got his income tax return. We''ve been attempting to do some minor renovations to our home, and when I mentioned using part of his return to fund some of it, he told me it was spent, but wouldn''t tell me on what.
* During dinner the other night, he started talking about the length of time we''ve been dating. "How long has it been now? Eight years, eh?" I said, yeah, and we haven''t killed each other yet, so that''s promising! I mentioned something along the lines of "we might as well be married!" And he said, "We are married - IN COMMON-LAW!" I''m like, that''s BS! I want the real thing! And he just laughed...
Anyway, I''m probably just reading into things WAY too much (as usual) and it''s just very wishful thinking that a proposal might be in the wings...
Sorry this is so long... any thoughts?
I''ve been with my BF for 8 years this August. We''ve been dating since I was 18 and he was 19. We''re now 26 and 27. He''s always said he wants to marry me, but he wouldn''t propose while we were still in school and living at home with our parents for obvious reasons.
Well, we''re both done school, have stable full-time careers and purchased our first home one year ago this past January.
Around Christmas time, he began talking about looking at rings to my brother (my brother is 24 and they get along great), and my brother leaked this information to me. I was SO excited at the prospect that it might finally happen, then when Christmas morning came and went with no ring, I was crushed.
We''ve touched upon the topic a few times since (marriage, not rings), and we''re definitely both on the same page. We had one big blow up two months ago due to me catching a WICKED case of engagement fever (I recently signed up for "facebook" and discovered that most of my former classmates were recently engaged and/or married) and I FREAKED. As the scenario usually goes, the engaged/married friends had been dating for much less time than my BF and I.
He calmed me down by reassuring me that we WILL be getting married someday, and that if he gave me a ring right now (meaning at the time of the blow-up), it would be only to pacify me, and he doesn''t want to do it that way. He said he knew how important it was to me and how much it means to me to be engaged, and assured me that it will happen, but didn''t give any indication as to WHEN. I promised never to mention it again, and I''ve been good so far.
Lately he''s been exhibiting some strange behavior and dropping some hints... such as:
* His buddy recently purchased a house which his girlfriend will be moving in to. (My BF and I bought our house jointly.) His buddy asked my BF if he should do the same, and my BF made a point of telling me that this is what he told his friend: "If this is the girl you''re planning on starting a life with and marrying some day, I would totally buy it jointly with her." I thought it was bizarre that he made a point of telling me this!
* He recently sold his toy (a little red sports compact he bought when he was 19 and spent a ton of money fixing up / decking out). He said he was going to use the proceeds of sale as a downpayment for a new toy right away, but instead I found out he opened up a new savings account and put it in there. Now, this may be because he wants to take time deciding on what he wants, although he hasn''t been car shopping lately.
* He''s been making trips out of town quite frequently with his best friend to "look at baseball stuff" yet he always seems to come home empty handed? (He always told me that when he decides to buy a ring, he''d go to this jewelery store out of town that is owned by the brother of a guy he works with.)
* He recently got his income tax return. We''ve been attempting to do some minor renovations to our home, and when I mentioned using part of his return to fund some of it, he told me it was spent, but wouldn''t tell me on what.
* During dinner the other night, he started talking about the length of time we''ve been dating. "How long has it been now? Eight years, eh?" I said, yeah, and we haven''t killed each other yet, so that''s promising! I mentioned something along the lines of "we might as well be married!" And he said, "We are married - IN COMMON-LAW!" I''m like, that''s BS! I want the real thing! And he just laughed...
Anyway, I''m probably just reading into things WAY too much (as usual) and it''s just very wishful thinking that a proposal might be in the wings...
Sorry this is so long... any thoughts?