Proposal at your wedding

[caribqueen]

I don''t know if this has come up in the past, but how would you feel about someone asking another person to marry them at YOUR wedding?

 

[shertz1981]

This might make me a drama queen, but I would not be happy.

The day before, fab.

The day after, fab.

 

[monarch64]

Why would someone do that?

If that happened to me I''d disown them. If I wanted to share my happiness/special day with other couples, I''d get married in a drive-through chapel in Vegas.

 

[meresal]

This came up a few years ago. A PS'er had a destination wedding and her brother(I believe) asked his girlfirend to marry him in the middle of their reception, AND THEN ended up being the main focus for most of the night. Not acceptable at all, IMO.

I think it's fine if you do it and keep quiet, but there is no reason to "steal the show" so to speak.

It reminds me of the episode of the office, where Jim paid to have all of the fireworks set-up... and then the other guy stole the moment to propose to Angela.

Make it personal. Don't use someone else's romantic evening to push your own agenda.

 

[lucyandroger]

Why on earth would someone do that?! I think as the bride I''d feel more sorry for the girl getting proposed to. That is a terrible, terrible proposal idea.

 

[caribqueen]

Thanks.

I needed to get perspective because I was thinking, it''s a no-no, but then wondered if I was being a bit of a Bridezilla.

Backstory: A cousin of mine, recently hinted that he has something to run by my FI and I and he kept insisting that he didn''t want to overshadow our day. Apparently, he met his gilfriend on June 3rd, two days before my wedding date, but that''s all he has said so far. I want to be prepared for whatever he may ask later (if he does) and I was already thinking, not on my wedding day, and definitely not at my wedding.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 3/23/2010 11:44:36 AM
Author: caribqueen
Thanks.

I needed to get perspective because I was thinking, it''s a no-no, but then wondered if I was being a bit of a Bridezilla.

Backstory: A cousin of mine, recently hinted that he has something to run by my FI and I and he kept insisting that he didn''t want to overshadow our day. Apparently, he met his gilfriend on June 3rd, two days before my wedding date, but that''s all he has said so far. I want to be prepared for whatever he may ask later (if he does) and I was already thinking, not on my wedding day, and definitely not at my wedding.

You''re definitely not being a ''zilla. Um, yikes. But at least if that''s his plan he''s telling you first so you can say no?

 

[lilyfoot]

You know, I don''t care who proposes to who, or when or where they propose .. as long as it''s not IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEONE ELSE''S SPECIAL MOMENT.

I think it''s plain tacky and rude. There are 364 other days of the year which someone could propose. And if possibly their anniversary, or another special date, falls on someone else''s wedding date, then I think a QUIET proposal is in order, not to be announced until AFTER that day.

 

[shertz1981]

Date: 3/23/2010 11:44:36 AM
Author: caribqueen
Thanks.


I needed to get perspective because I was thinking, it''s a no-no, but then wondered if I was being a bit of a Bridezilla.


Backstory: A cousin of mine, recently hinted that he has something to run by my FI and I and he kept insisting that he didn''t want to overshadow our day. Apparently, he met his gilfriend on June 3rd, two days before my wedding date, but that''s all he has said so far. I want to be prepared for whatever he may ask later (if he does) and I was already thinking, not on my wedding day, and definitely not at my wedding.

Not a zilla moment at all. If he has to do it ON THAT DAY, he can do it after they''ve left the wedding.

I get the feeling, though, that he might propose on 6/3 and wanted to make sure you were OK with it?

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think asking her on the day they met is one thing, but asking her AT your wedding is totally wrong on so many different levels. Oh, and make sure they announce their engagement BEFORE the wedding (like not on the day of) so they don''t do it there. Sure there may be some people who didn''t hear the news and people will ooh and aah over her ring, but it''s not a big deal (to me anyway) if the response is small and low-key.

If they announce their engagement or get engaged at your wedding, well then just time your first "we''re expecting!" announcement for theirs

 

[shertz1981]

Date: 3/23/2010 11:56:13 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I think asking her on the day they met is one thing, but asking her AT your wedding is totally wrong on so many different levels. Oh, and make sure they announce their engagement BEFORE the wedding (like not on the day of) so they don''t do it there. Sure there may be some people who didn''t hear the news and people will ooh and aah over her ring, but it''s not a big deal (to me anyway) if the response is small and low-key.


If they announce their engagement or get engaged at your wedding, well then just time your first ''we''re expecting!'' announcement for theirs

Honestly, if he even mentioned having any intention of asking her on your wedding day, I would make sure my coordinator/DJ/whoever knew in advance, thus eliminating the chance of a public proposal/scene.

 

[mrscushion]

I would really not like it, either. It''s OUR day.

 

[Nov2109]

Not bridezillaish at all. I think that is totally inappropriate. There are tons of other days in June to propose, why steal someone else''s day? The attention should be on you and your husband, not the new bride to be. She''ll have her moment.

Besides that, he met her on June 3rd. Propose on June 3rd, not the 5th!

 

[RaiKai]

I definitely don't/didn't think of my wedding day as "my/our day", but I do think it is just tacky to do a very public proposal at another wedding. But, the tackiness would show on them, not me, so I would not have been that choked up about it.

Personally, I would not want to do a public proposal at another wedding or to be proposed to at another wedding. An ex of mine was considering proposing to his girlfriend at his brother's destination wedding, and I thought that might be a bit much (though did not tell him so as he himself decided to wait until later).

If he does intend to propose on the wedding day, I think it would be better if they waited until a private moment following the reception or something or at least did it privately during the day and kept it reasonably quiet and announced it at a later time. Though a small intimate announcement might be alright at some point - I think it all depends on the particular circumstances. My mother and stepfather of 25 years announced a couple weeks after my wedding they were going to get married (the wedding was a couple weeks later) and honestly if they had decided at my wedding in a private moment to get engaged/married, I would have been overjoyed even if they announced it at the dinner following our ceremony, but that is because it would of sort of fit with the relaxed and casual atmosphere and guest list and my relationship with them and my guests.

If he is just talking about proposing a couple days beforehand, and worried about the spotlight, I would not stress about it. There will be lots of people at your wedding having things going on in their lives that are exciting...that's just the way life is!

 

[Laila619]

I wouldn''t like it.

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 3/23/2010 11:44:36 AM
Author: caribqueen
Thanks.

I needed to get perspective because I was thinking, it''s a no-no, but then wondered if I was being a bit of a Bridezilla.

Backstory: A cousin of mine, recently hinted that he has something to run by my FI and I and he kept insisting that he didn''t want to overshadow our day. Apparently, he met his gilfriend on June 3rd, two days before my wedding date, but that''s all he has said so far. I want to be prepared for whatever he may ask later (if he does) and I was already thinking, not on my wedding day, and definitely not at my wedding.

I would let him know that it''s not only about your feelings but also hers. Doesn''t he want her to feel special when she gets engaged? Maybe putting it that way will help change his mind.

 

[princessplease]

Wow that is inappropriate on so many levels. I was thinking of that the other day because FI and I have friends who are going to be getting engaged this year sometime, and I was wondering if anyone would have the cajones to propose at someone else''s wedding. Day before...fine, but keep it low key. Day of, how utterly disrespectful and uncouth. I''d be infuriated.

 

[FrekeChild]

I had a friend that wanted my husband to propose to me at her wedding. Didn''t happen, but whatever.

If my BFFs had gotten engaged before, during or after our wedding I would have been fine with it, but they are my two closest friends in the world, so I would have been fine sharing my moment with them.

After all, my mantra that day was, "It''s just another day." The only thing different about it was that I happened to wear an evening gown, have my hair all fancy and get my makeup done.

 

[Shoopy]

I''d be pissed because I''m cheap.

Don''t get on the stage of the venue that I paid for and use the microphone which belongs to the DJ that I paid for to ask your gf who was sitting in chairs with pretty bows that I paid for and eating food that I paid for to ask her to marry you and then have everyone toast the newly engaged couple with champagne that I paid for.

You can do it but you will be prorated

.

 

[Haven]

Date: 3/23/2010 2:01:12 PM
Author: fiery
I''d be pissed because I''m cheap.

Don''t get on the stage of the venue that I paid for and use the microphone which belongs to the DJ that I paid for to ask your gf who was sitting in chairs with pretty bows that I paid for and eating food that I paid for to ask her to marry you and then have everyone toast the newly engaged couple with champagne that I paid for.

You can do it but you will be prorated

.

LOVE IT! Hahahahahaha. This is awesome.

I think I''d be upset, too. I wasn''t a "this is MY DAY!" bride, but I did relish every single moment of our wedding day, and I imagine some of that would have been taken away if we were suddenly focusing on someone else''s engagement. It''s less of an issue of wanting all the attention on us as a couple, and more about the fact that we were able to just *be in the moment* the entire day. I think a proposal would have disrupted that vibe, if that makes any sense.

 

[megumic]

SO NOT OKAY IN MY BOOK!

 

[katamari]

Date: 3/23/2010 2:01:12 PM
Author: fiery
I''d be pissed because I''m cheap.


Don''t get on the stage of the venue that I paid for and use the microphone which belongs to the DJ that I paid for to ask your gf who was sitting in chairs with pretty bows that I paid for and eating food that I paid for to ask her to marry you and then have everyone toast the newly engaged couple with champagne that I paid for.

You can do it but you will be prorated

.

You crack me up, fiery! This is hilarious!

 

[LilyKat]

I'd want to be happy for them, but seriously, that is attention theft. There are 364 other perfectly good days in the year - pick one. Or if it HAS to be that particular one, don't come to my wedding. Or do it in the car afterwards.

Would you propose at someone's funeral? No, because that's their day. Get your own.

 

[lulu]

It would be rude imo.

 

[Natylad]

Date: 3/23/2010 11:56:13 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I think asking her on the day they met is one thing, but asking her AT your wedding is totally wrong on so many different levels. Oh, and make sure they announce their engagement BEFORE the wedding (like not on the day of) so they don''t do it there. Sure there may be some people who didn''t hear the news and people will ooh and aah over her ring, but it''s not a big deal (to me anyway) if the response is small and low-key.

If they announce their engagement or get engaged at your wedding, well then just time your first ''we''re expecting!'' announcement for theirs

He, he, he

I like this diabolic idea Hawk

But honestly...don''t you guys think that if one proposes to his SO at somebody else''s wedding, it is as if he wants to make everybody concentrate on them and then keep on partying the entire night, receiving congratulations and being the center of attention, while somebody else is paying for the party?

Ha...unacceptable...

 

[Natylad]

Date: 3/23/2010 2:01:12 PM
Author: fiery
I''d be pissed because I''m cheap.

Don''t get on the stage of the venue that I paid for and use the microphone which belongs to the DJ that I paid for to ask your gf who was sitting in chairs with pretty bows that I paid for and eating food that I paid for to ask her to marry you and then have everyone toast the newly engaged couple with champagne that I paid for.

You can do it but you will be prorated

.

Oops! Sorry Fiery! I responded and after i posted i saw that you were suggesting the exact same thing!

Good point again

 

[monkeyprincess]

I have very little desire to be the center of attention (even at my own wedding), BUT I think it is completely inappropriate to propose at someone else''s wedding. I would bet his girlfriend wouldn''t want it that way either. If he insists on some sort of public proposal, he needs to organize his own little party at another time.

Now, if he is going to ask you if it would be okay if proposed two days before your wedding on their anniversary, I see no problem with that.

 

[Amanda.Rx]

Date: 3/23/2010 2:01:12 PM
Author: fiery
I''d be pissed because I''m cheap.


Don''t get on the stage of the venue that I paid for and use the microphone which belongs to the DJ that I paid for to ask your gf who was sitting in chairs with pretty bows that I paid for and eating food that I paid for to ask her to marry you and then have everyone toast the newly engaged couple with champagne that I paid for.

You can do it but you will be prorated

.

AWESOME. agreed.

 

[trillionaire]

The last wedding that I attended, one of the guests had proposed to his GF on the Golden Gate bridge, either that day, or the day before. I think it was the same day, NYE... anyway, there was certainly some talk about it, and his new FI showing off her ring... not to mention that all of the engaged women became an instant weird sisterhood... but everyone was very clear on why we were there, and it did not overshadow the bride, groom or wedding. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was just thrilled about the love and happiness of both the newly married couple, and the people who were important enough to invite, many of whom were old college friends and frat brothers. I hadn't seen any of the wedding guests since becoming engaged myself, and there was quite a bit of fuss over FI and I being engaged from our college friends who have known us as a couple for 6+ years.

I think it would be WEIRD to propose at someone else's wedding, but if it were, say, my BFF or a very close, long-term couple of FI and I, and we had mutual friends at the wedding, I could see it, and I would be okay with that, as long as they asked. Otherwise, it screams 'attention seeking behavior'... or 'compulsive inappropriateness disorder'. (yeah, I just coined that one...

) Most of the weddings that I have been to have been like college reunion bashes, and I could very much see such a thing happening with the blessing of the couple. I actually wouldn't mind some of the attention being taken off of me! I would, however, be eternally disappointed if the union of the couple didn't last... is that weird? LOL

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 3/23/2010 11:51:12 AM
Author: lilyfoot
You know, I don''t care who proposes to who, or when or where they propose .. as long as it''s not IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEONE ELSE''S SPECIAL MOMENT.

I think it''s plain tacky and rude. There are 364 other days of the year which someone could propose. And if possibly their anniversary, or another special date, falls on someone else''s wedding date, then I think a QUIET proposal is in order, not to be announced until AFTER that day.

Ditto!