Promotion dust please!

[Allisonfaye]

I need some advice. It came to my husband''s attention a little over a year ago that based on some interest from headhunters, he was significantly underpaid in his current position. Subsequent information supports that. My husband approached his boss to let them know that in addition to being underpaid, people that usually do his job are one level higher than him. Everyone loves DH at his company and he never gets involved in petty political stuff. He is a very effective leader and has recently gotten a lot of new feathers in his cap. He is pretty much the most sought after person in his field right now. He could easily get a much better paying job but it would likely involve working more hours than he currently does and a relocation. They told him that they were definately going to promote him almost exactly a year ago. Along the way, they kept asking for more data to support his point, which he provided.

I should add that my husband didn''t march into his bosses office to complain when he found out. He waited until it was appropriate, did NOT present it in any way that was threatening (like threatening to quit) and provided every bit of data that supported his findings that he was asked to provide. His bosses'' boss was also trying to get him promoted, supposedly, but should have been able to wield some power, since he is pretty high up in the company.

He also went to bat and got his staff some raises because he was afraid that when they found out that they were also underpaid, they would leave. He got them some higher money but not close to market. It seems that his HR does research to find out market for the positions and they are not searching exactly the right way for this unique field of expertise. This company is very conservative, very large and very bureaucratic. So we waited and waited patiently. Sometimes DH''s boss would bring it up and say they were still working on it.

A YEAR later, they told him that they were not promoting him, and giving him a 6% raise, when he probably should be getting 50 to 100% more. I had pretty much given up on the promotion and he acted kind of like he did too but when they flat out told him, he was clearly upset. He told his boss that it was pretty obvious the value that they place on him was not that high and his boss said don''t take it that way. I have never seen DH talk to his boss this way before. But DH does need his praise. He works his tail off. He is like a superhero. I KNOW his boss wants to promote him. He promoted him like 7 years ago and told him about a year later, he wanted to again but had no data to support it at the time.

I don''t know what DH is going to do. I know he can''t be happy working in a place where he doesn''t feel appropriately valued. He doesn''t want to be paid some kingly sum that he doesn''t deserve. This is not about the money. He is not some bitter guy who complains constantly. Quite the opposite.

I don''t know whether to encourage him to look elsewhere. I guess he is going to have to decide that. He always says it is MY decision too since it would likely involve relocation but I want him to be happy. HE is the one who has to go there every day. I can be happy wherever we go. He is a big family guy and he would rather spend time with his family than anything in the world. I know maybe there isnt'' much in the way of advice to give. I just needed to vent a little.

 

[crown1]

it sounds like you are very supportive of your husband. i commend that attitude.

what i get from your post is that they have refused to give him a promotion or a fifty to one hundred percent raise. i have not heard of anybody ever getting that kind of raise. while i think it could happen i do not feel it is likely to get that much. i know most places have to consider the effect of giving one person a raise and how that effects the whole company''s pay structure.

i think the ball is in his court now. he can choose to stay where he is and continue his current job or test the waters and see what is available. if he does choose to stay i hope he makes himself satisfied because they have been honest with him and told him it is not going to happen and he does have the opportunity to look elsewhere since he is being pursued by the headhunters. staying and being unhappy is not good for anyone.

if i were you I would tell him that i support his decision to do what ever it is that is going to make him happy and productive in his career (but only if you really mean it). if he does decide to go looking elsewhere you will then need to be happy with either a relocation or longer hours and time away from the family. i think it is important that you are sure that you can live with that if you choose to let him make the decision entirely on his own as he is being considerate of you in this area.

i think only your husband knows the real story on whether he would be shooting himself in the foot or whether he needs to look for greener pastures. i certainly don''t know the situation and would not want to say go or stay on my understanding. the company may be really undervaluing him but he may also be in a good position time and stability wise.

whatever happens i hope it is the best for you and your family. good luck!

 

[KimberlyH]

AF,

Sticky situation. I get the impression that you live comfortably but it''s clear from the information you''ve provided that he deserves much more that he''s earning. The company he works for is not required to give that to him...so perhaps seeking out alternative positions would be the best thing.

Moving is scary how do you really feel about it? My husband was offered a position in Chicago that was absolutely golden,and would have allowed him to grow his own business too, but when we started looking for houses I flipped out, I just couldn''t imagine moving 3,000 miles away from ''home'' and being happy even though I''d only lived here for 2 years. I still feel terrible about not being able to make the leap as it would have been so good for him (I could have moved feeling very concerned and sad, but DH didn''t want that for our marriage).

I think in your shoes, if you can really move and be happy, I''d tell DH that I support him no matter what he chooses and that I am aware that he deserves so much more than what he''s getting and that I think he should start investigating other options.

~K

 

[monarch64]

Allison, you are a wonderful wife for considering your hubby''s feelings and needs and what will make him happiest job-wise, and he is a good hubby for wanting it to be the decision made by you in the end as far as what you''re comfortable with. Sounds like you have a great marriage that way. (I know you may not have a "perfect" life/marriage, no one does, but your post is very telling of how you two treat each other and it sounds great!) Anyway, to me it sounds like it is time for you two to re-evaluate where you''re at, where you''d like to be, what you want for your two children (it is two, right?) and establish a plan from there. This company your hubby''s working for sounds to me like they''re waiting for him to make the decision and not the other way round if that makes sense. Maybe it''s just time for your hubby to get his feelers out there again and see what kinds of things will open up for him, OR, has he thought about starting his own business or living off investments for a year or two and seeing what happens? Without knowing the exact details of your situation personally or financially I can''t even begin to really offer advice, but I''m glad PS is a good sounding board for you.

My best advice to YOU is to keep being the supportive spouse that you are. You take care of your children, you keep house, you do a million little things every day to ensure that your DH is happy and can perform well...that is wonderful. I truly commend you for that--we only have two doggies and a very small house, and I have a job but I get frustrated when my DH would rather go to the Bears game on Sunday and drink with his friends and not take out the garbage--I don''t know if I''ll ever be a good mother because I wonder sometimes if he''ll hold up his end of the bargain if there ever is one, lol! But I do try to be supportive no matter what, and make his life as easy as possible. He definitely reciprocates by doing a lot of little things and of course bearing the brunt of the household finances, so we feel we''re pretty "even." We''ve talked before about what would happen if his boss (pres. of his company, 51% shareholder) retires soon, my DH has been groomed to become Pres. in a few years but we''re unsure whether or when that will happen so we are in a similar boat. It''s tough, and we have put off having a family because of it, which is hard on both of us at times. I feel for you, and I wish you the best of luck in this situation. Again, I''m glad you ''vented'' here. Take care!

 

[Allisonfaye]

Thanks for the input, everyone!

Wow, you won''t believe what happened. The plot thickens.

A bunch of stuff I didn''t know all day had been going on and DH told me when he got home last night. He does the thing where I talk to him at 4 and he says ''A bunch of stuff happened but I will tell you when I get home'' and then I go nuts all day wondering what it is and what kind of mood he will be in when he gets home.

Turns out, when presented with the offer, DH (usually the most stoic, unemotional guy) told them it was unacceptable. Based on all the information he had provided them, he told his boss that he was basically telling DH to go out to the market and get the market rate because they weren''t going to do anything. He asked his boss point blank if HE agreed with the offer and if HIS boss did and his boss said no but that it was up to HR and their (the bosses) hands were tied because of HR, which made no sense to us. So after this meeting, his boss and his bosses'' boss immediately called a meeting with their boss (BIG BOSS) ,going over the head of the HR boss, to discuss it. What neither of us could ever figure out was why Big Boss didn''t order the HR head to do it in the first place. It turns out that HE was counting on his reports to provide the adequate recommendation to him and when HR wouldn''t budge, he was given the bad proposal and he signed it. He said it didn''t make any sense to HIM either since even he knew the market was very hot right now. He loves DH too (in fact, even hired him in the first place) so we knew that wasn''t a problem.

So, Big Boss told DH''s bosses that he could do anything that he wants and he wanted to think about what he wanted to do for a few days. So, this is really hopeful. He would really be stupid not to do anything because I know this sounds so cliche, but due to the specialization of DH''s field and what it is he does, if DH left, it would cost him a lot more to replace him. There is also a critical and major change going on in the field right now that DH is up to speed on (and in fact, helping to write policy which is good for his company) and someone else might not be as effective. The Big Boss'' butt could really be exposed if this isn''t handled correctly.

I was sooo proud of DH. He told his boss his bosses''s boss knows that out of all the people in this tight group of people who do his job, that everyone of the bosses would pick him if they needed to fill the same position at his company.

Sorry, I know this is confusing but since this is a well known company, I am trying to be somewhat vague but provide the information.

I guess we will probably have to wait (again) until next week to find out anything. Wish us promotion dust! ( I swear PS is lucky).

 

[crown1]

wonderful! i hope everything goes the way your husband wants and that your life will once again be smooth sailing. good luck!

 

[Skippy123]

Sending dust your way!!