Pregnant Bridesmaid Ultimatum

[kschoedel]

Here is my problem....
I am in a wedding in September. At the time of the wedding I will be 7 1/2 months pregnant. The dress she chose will not work with a changing body shape or a pregnant belly. (Its on targets website, its a taffeta couture dress in autumn gold

http://www.target.com/Isaac-Mizrahi-Target-Taffeta-Couture/dp/B000ZBKFZY/qid=1214161380/ref=br_1_14/601-9865257-4452126?ie=UTF8&node=350118011&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

- the problem is it fitted at the waist and flares from there). Originally she told me to look for something else to wear that would be close to the dress. So I bought a $20 maternity dress in yellow. The problem is that I can''t find a dress closer to her color in anything! Also, the other girls have shoes to match the dress. If I purchase another dress, the shoes won''t match.
Now (less than 3 months before the wedding) the bride would like me to by the original dress and have her MIL alter it to be an empire waist. The problem with altering the dress is that it does not "give" what if I wake up the day of the wedding and I have outgrown it!
Basically I was told to wear the dress or not be in the wedding. My husband is also in the wedding and I do not want to just quit on the situation. The bride does not handle stress well and I feel that I am only complicating the situation for her! HELP!!!

 

[Efe]

Is it possible that you could dye the dress you bought to match the others? I agree that it appears there is no way to make the Target one work.

 

[robbie3982]

Hey, streudel, you might get more responses if you post it in the brides world wide forum

. What advice did Erin have?

 

[kschoedel]

I just posted it there too- thanks!
Haven''t talked to Erin yet.

 

[somethingshiny]

I''ve known several pregnant bridesmaids, and as memory serves, each of them bought the dress and then had the final fitting 2 days before the wedding. So, if her MIL is up for that, great. If not, and you think it''s going to ruin the bride''s day (as ridiculous as I see that), then maybe you should gracefully bow out. Unfortunately, if that''s the case, I foresee a day when the bride regrets that she ever gave you an ultimatum.

 

[asscherisme]

Unless she will let you get something similar in a similar color, I would personally bow out. I have had 4 babies and I can tell you that at 7 1/2 months with each, I was a differnt size and carried differently. There is NO way how to predit what you will look like. Look at celebrities. Some are tiny at the end and you can barely tell they are pregnant. Some are so HUGE at the end its nice to see them as real people.

The LAST thing you need during your pregnancy is to worry about fitting into a dress! You should be enjoying your pregnancy and have a dress that you know can comfortably be altered within a week of the wedding. Otherwise, I would gracefully bow out.

And congrats on your pregnancy by the way. Being a mom is the BEST thing in the world. I love being a mom.

 

[moremoremore]

I just spent about $450 total on a nightmare bm dress b'c the top didn't fit my "girls"....it was a nightmare so I feel your pain....I don't think it will be an issue if it's an empire waist BUT won't it be WAAAYYYY short in the front? I think you'll have to actually buy TWO dresses for the fabric, no? But even then, I don't see how you're going to get around the length issue bc of fabric seams ...She should pay for the second dress imo.....I actually think it can be done....the empire need to be REALLY high and you need to have it be very full and fitted last minute...I also see no problem bowing out since she's changing it up on you last minute..

 

[divergrrl]

My opinion? I''d just bow out. Tell her you''d like to honor their wedding in another way, like guestbook, or make a special toast.

It''s just a wedding, it''s not yours, and 2 kids later, one thing I''ve learned is that its easier to just let things be and not get sucked into other people''s expectations/dramas.

This way you can go to the wedding, and just have fun wearing something comfortable & socialize!

 

[Kay]

Date: 6/23/2008 12:23:19 PM
Author: divergrrl
My opinion? I''d just bow out. Tell her you''d like to honor their wedding in another way, like guestbook, or make a special toast.

It''s just a wedding, it''s not yours, and 2 kids later, one thing I''ve learned is that its easier to just let things be and not get sucked into other people''s expectations/dramas.

This way you can go to the wedding, and just have fun wearing something comfortable & socialize!

I agree. If you want to stick with it, however, I would buy the dress 1 or 2 sizes larger than your current size (to accomodate your growing breasts). Use the top part of the dress to create an empire waist top (if it is too big, it can be taken in a little on the side seams the week before the wedding). Then buy coordinating fabric (maybe an ivory and yellow/gold floral print, black, light gray, etc. depending on other wedding colors) to make a full gathered skirt to attach to the yellow top. Make sure the skirt fabric is stretchy or full enough to give you room to grow. You should not have to stress about how your pregnancy weight gain will affect how you fit in a dress for someone else''s wedding. Is MIL a talented enough seamstress to pull this off and will she want to be sewing right before the wedding? I wish you well.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 6/23/2008 12:23:19 PM
Author: divergrrl
My opinion? I''d just bow out. Tell her you''d like to honor their wedding in another way, like guestbook, or make a special toast.


It''s just a wedding, it''s not yours, and 2 kids later, one thing I''ve learned is that its easier to just let things be and not get sucked into other people''s expectations/dramas.


This way you can go to the wedding, and just have fun wearing something comfortable & socialize!

I also agree.