Pregnant and smoking

[katharath]

I don't care to explain the semantics of every aspect of my opinion.

*All* that I'm saying is that having seen women I care about go through this, I *try* not to judge other women if they are trying their damnedest to do better. (And I don't always succeed!). That's it in a nutshell.

 

[Niel]

I don't care to explain the semantics of every aspect of my opinion.

*All* that I'm saying is that having seen women I care about go through this, I *try* not to judge other women if they are trying their damnedest to do better. (And I don't always succeed!). That's it in a nutshell.

I appreciate hearing your perspective. I wanted all opinions, so don't feel like you have to defend your answer.

I also try not to judge but at the same time its a topic I think is important, and its hard not to judge when you think it's important.

 

[katharath]

I don't care to explain the semantics of every aspect of my opinion.

*All* that I'm saying is that having seen women I care about go through this, I *try* not to judge other women if they are trying their damnedest to do better. (And I don't always succeed!). That's it in a nutshell.

I appreciate hearing your perspective. I wanted all opinions, so don't feel like you have to defend your answer.

I also try not to judge but at the same time its a topic I think is important, and its hard not to judge when you think it's important.

Sorry Niel, wasn't directing my post at you specifically!

It's a difficult topic, I completely get that. We are in agreement in many aspects. I would never ever drink or smoke while pg, it's not that I don't believe that. (ETA - I don't drink or smoke NOW, and my youngest is 8!! Just don't care for alcohol or cigarettes).

I just find it hard to draw a black and white line about this, due to having seen women I care about struggle.

 

[jordyonbass]

It's something that I find disgusting and always have, however I have also heard that suddenly quitting cigarettes can be very traumatic and stressful due to the nicotine withdrawals for the fetus. I also have a friend who quit during her first pregnancy but smoked during her second and she said that the difference was like night and day when it came to her stress levels, so there may be something to that (obviously not saying here that smoking is good during pregnancy at all).

Even in my metal-punk days before I turned 20 I found it disgusting; I would see the girlfriends of guys in the scene, smoking and drinking at venues. I still remember that despite the fact I'd go out for a week at a time in the same clothes, boots and leather jacket (also usable as pillow and blanket), take copious amounts of drugs/drink and meet many like minded people at the events - when it came to women smoking when pregnant? I was about as striaght edge as it comes

There is no evidence to suggest that suddenly quitting smoking during pregnancy can cause any harm to a fetus. As soon as a woman stops smoking, a fetus immediately receives more oxygen & less carbon monoxide (not to mention it decreases the chances of pregnancy-related complications, reduces the risk of low birth weight, reduces the risk of SIDS, etc.).
Also, I can sort of understand how someone might feel that smoking reduces their stress levels, but what happens inside the body is actually the opposite. Smoking speeds up heart rate and increases blood pressure....
The benefits of quitting smoking would faaarrrrrr outweigh either of those arguments IMO. I understand that you weren't advocating for smoking during pregnancy, jordyonbass, but I just wanted to respond to your comments

Hi momhappy

I understand what you're saying and I agree that quitting smoking is obviously the best thing to do. But being a male I have no idea what pregnancy is like, so I can only going by what I have heard from women I know who smoked and were pregnant. I mentioned it more of a 'this is what I think but this is what I have heard' kind of thing.

Sadly, compared to other stuff I have seen women put through their bodies when pregnant - cigarettes seem almost healthy

 

[momhappy]

I don't care to explain the semantics of every aspect of my opinion.

*All* that I'm saying is that having seen women I care about go through this, I *try* not to judge other women if they are trying their damnedest to do better. (And I don't always succeed!). That's it in a nutshell.

I appreciate hearing your perspective. I wanted all opinions, so don't feel like you have to defend your answer.

I also try not to judge but at the same time its a topic I think is important, and its hard not to judge when you think it's important.

Sorry Niel, wasn't directing my post at you specifically!

It's a difficult topic, I completely get that. We are in agreement in many aspects. I would never ever drink or smoke while pg, it's not that I don't believe that. (ETA - I don't drink or smoke NOW, and my youngest is 8!! Just don't care for alcohol or cigarettes).

I just find it hard to draw a black and white line about this, due to having seen women I care about struggle.

I hope that I didn't make you feel the need to defend your post - that was not my intention. I think that I understood most of what you were saying, I just didn't understand the sympathy for one group, but maybe not for another, but you certainly don't need to explain. I enjoyed reading your responses and you're right, for some, it's not a black & white issue because it's more complex than that.

 

[momhappy]

It's something that I find disgusting and always have, however I have also heard that suddenly quitting cigarettes can be very traumatic and stressful due to the nicotine withdrawals for the fetus. I also have a friend who quit during her first pregnancy but smoked during her second and she said that the difference was like night and day when it came to her stress levels, so there may be something to that (obviously not saying here that smoking is good during pregnancy at all).

Even in my metal-punk days before I turned 20 I found it disgusting; I would see the girlfriends of guys in the scene, smoking and drinking at venues. I still remember that despite the fact I'd go out for a week at a time in the same clothes, boots and leather jacket (also usable as pillow and blanket), take copious amounts of drugs/drink and meet many like minded people at the events - when it came to women smoking when pregnant? I was about as striaght edge as it comes

There is no evidence to suggest that suddenly quitting smoking during pregnancy can cause any harm to a fetus. As soon as a woman stops smoking, a fetus immediately receives more oxygen & less carbon monoxide (not to mention it decreases the chances of pregnancy-related complications, reduces the risk of low birth weight, reduces the risk of SIDS, etc.).
Also, I can sort of understand how someone might feel that smoking reduces their stress levels, but what happens inside the body is actually the opposite. Smoking speeds up heart rate and increases blood pressure....
The benefits of quitting smoking would faaarrrrrr outweigh either of those arguments IMO. I understand that you weren't advocating for smoking during pregnancy, jordyonbass, but I just wanted to respond to your comments

Hi momhappy

I understand what you're saying and I agree that quitting smoking is obviously the best thing to do. But being a male I have no idea what pregnancy is like, so I can only going by what I have heard from women I know who smoked and were pregnant. I mentioned it more of a 'this is what I think but this is what I have heard' kind of thing.

Sadly, compared to other stuff I have seen women put through their bodies when pregnant - cigarettes seem almost healthy

Yes, I know what you mean... I've certainly seen worse too, so I suppose in the grand scheme of things, smoking during pregnancy might be the least of someone's worries

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I'm not a woman or even a straight man.
Therefore, to some, my opinion shouldn't hold weight ... but smoking while pregnant is better for the fetus than abortion.
Many here are pro-choice.

So, how can someone be pro-choice, yet tell a pregnant mom to not smoke if she intends to deliver?

Is this a serious question?


Would I say anything? No. I do not like confrontation and unless asked, it is none of my business. However, do I judge? Of course I do. I would be lying to say I don't silently judge people/situations everyday. I work in addictions and smoking is a horrible addiction. Nicotine is a stimulant I am sure we can ALL agree, not great for a developing fetus and second hand smoke is not great for the other kids. Watching a pregnant woman smoke, drink, or partake in any other risky behavior makes me uncomfortable. As does when I have pregnant patients (who are struggling with drug addiction). At least they are there to attempt treatment. That's better than denial or refusal to try to change.

 

[packrat]

We really shouldn't care if they smoke around them after giving birth either.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I absolutely think it is a terrible choice. Addiction sucks, and a person should make every effort to quit prior to TTC.

However I do think it's bullpoo when someone marries/sleeps with a smoker and then slams them with ultimatums. Uhhhhh, no. If you do not want to procreate with a smoker, do not date a smoker. You presumably knew they smoked going into the relationship, don't be all shocked if they can't quit after the fact.

 

[Niel]

I absolutely think it is a terrible choice. Addiction sucks, and a person should make every effort to quit prior to TTC.

However I do think it's bullpoo when someone marries/sleeps with a smoker and then slams them with ultimatums. Uhhhhh, no. If you do not want to procreate with a smoker, do not date a smoker. You presumably knew they smoked going into the relationship, don't be all shocked if they can't quit after the fact.

Ah, I guess I look at it like, a husband has the right to have a healthy baby just as much as a mother does. Two people decide to have a baby. He can decide not to if he thinks his offspring is in danger. Just like anything else that may need to change before having kids, new place, more money, move .... You can get into a relationship without kids that wouldn't work when ttc

 

[OreoRosies86]

A husband absolutely has the right to a healthy child. However I am hypersensitive to any situation where one party is being guilted, cajoled, or pressured to do something they did not agree to. Obviously that situation changes if the person concealed their smoking habit prior to having a baby, or even prior to marriage or entering into a serious relationship. Relationships are not the place for ideals in my opinion. If you are with a smoker it would be awesome if they quit during their pregnancy, but as with any addiction that is a BIG if. If you risk being with a smoker you also all outcomes, including the health of the unborn baby in question, secondhand smoke inhalation, cancer, heart disease, possibly shortened life expectancy, etc.

Allow me to reiterate though, that smoking during pregnancy is a terrible terrible decision! Smokers are not terrible people, nor are they unworthy of a wonderful relationship and children of course. They just carry risks. Risks which must be carefully considered prior to a baby entering the picture.

 

[stracci2000]

A husband absolutely has the right to a healthy child. However I am hypersensitive to any situation where one party is being guilted, cajoled, or pressured to do something they did not agree to. Obviously that situation changes if the person concealed their smoking habit prior to having a baby, or even prior to marriage or entering into a serious relationship. Relationships are not the place for ideals in my opinion. If you are with a smoker it would be awesome if they quit during their pregnancy, but as with any addiction that is a BIG if. If you risk being with a smoker you also all outcomes, including the health of the unborn baby in question, secondhand smoke inhalation, cancer, heart disease, possibly shortened life expectancy, etc.

Allow me to reiterate though, that smoking during pregnancy is a terrible terrible decision! Smokers are not terrible people, nor are they unworthy of a wonderful relationship and children of course. They just carry risks. Risks which must be carefully considered prior to a baby entering the picture.

Well said, Elliot.
I am not a smoker, but I know a lot of smokers. Many of them have told me they would love to quit.
I have been told it is very hard to do.

 

[packrat]

It's hard to quit. HARD. I shouldn't have started smoking in the first place, but I've been done now for 15 years. The thing of it is...*I* shouldn't have started smoking. Not, I shouldn't have been forced to start smoking.

I'm having a hard time losing weight now (which has been steadily gaining since I quit smoking), but there again...*I* am having a hard time losing weight..not that I'm having a hard time losing weight someone made me gain. I did it to myself, chances are, rather than a medical problem. I traded one addiction for another. And that's not anyone else's fault but my own.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

6 million people die a year from nicotine. Approx. 1,300 Americans die A DAY. http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/fast_facts/

I don't think anyone is saying smokers are *bad people*. Of course not. I don't think any addicts are bad (regardless of addiction) but that is not to say people should not try to conquer their addictions for their own (and their family's) health. Then again people don't change unless they are ready. So going back to the OP's question, I don't think there is anything wrong with being concerned but unless the relationship calls for it, I keep my mouth shut.