Pregnancy Paranoia?

[cammy85]

So I''ve heard of many brides-to-be having "pregnancy paranoia" prior to the wedding - I did too - where you have no logical reason to be anxious about it but have this ''fear'' (for lack of a better word) of being pregnant. Now that I''m married, I''m still finding I have the same fears, even though technically my DH and I are in a better place now if an ''oops'' did happen, we aren''t planning on starting a family for another 5 years. It''s only happened once or twice, but I start wondering if the slight ''off'' feeling in my stomach or stuff like that could indicate pregnancy. It never has, but has gotten me a little worried - I''ll start thinking about all the plans we''re making for the next few years that DON''T include babies yet and how if I''m pregnant that will all vanish into thin air for the time being.

I think too a lot of my friends get married and start having kids within a year or two and just makes me wonder what-if, and it makes me anxious right now! We have several years to go!

Has anyone else felt this way? This is more of an ''outlet post'' I think, I just needed to get it off my chest somewhere and I know the ladies of PS are always around to lend an ear - or eye as the case may be.

 

[Lilac]

I''m unbelievably paranoid. I''m on the pill and I take it on time every single day, so I have no logical reason to worry, but yet every month when I get my period I breathe a sigh of relief. Getting pregnant right now wouldn''t be terrible (we would still be happy because of course it''s a miracle and we DO want kids, we would just be slightly panicky right now

) but still, it''s not something we want for another few years. A few months ago my stomach was bothering me a lot - felt like cramps but no real reason for it, and I started to imagine all these other "pregnancy" symptoms - I thought I was peeing more, I was nauseous a lot, very tired, etc. I could have waited about 3 more days for my period (which ended up coming on time, because of course, I was not actually pregnant) but DH went out and bought a pregnancy test for me because I was so nervous. Which of course came up as "not pregnant."

So yes, I guess you could say I''m pretty paranoid about getting pregnant right now

 

[cammy85]

I''m so glad someone else is feeling the same thing! You are describing exactly what happens to me. One thing feels off kilter and I think I can convince myself that I have other symptoms as well. I agree too that I find children to be a blessing, and can''t wait to have a family, but we have so much we want to accomplish ourselves first before we have children. It''s funny, we use BOTH barrier and hormonal methods of contraception, so if we were to get pregnant it''d be an absolute shock/miracle but stranger things have happened I guess. But I realize that my anxiousness is mainly unfounded because of the ''protective measures'' we take! In my opinion two types of contraception is better than one!

Do you (or anyone else) use anything other than hormanal protection or am I being overly cautious? Sorry if it''s personal, and feel free not to answer if you''re uncomfortable, but I am more comfortable posing this question to the PSers versus my real-life friends. I know there was some discussion in another thread about it in passing, but couldn''t find it.

 

[cammy85]

Date: 8/13/2009 3:16:32 PM
Author: musincy
Is this the one you''re thinking of? http://www.pricescope.com/forum/op-requested/can-we-talk-about-birth-control-t120778.html

You''re not the only paranoid one here!

Yes! that''s it, thank you - I wasn''t sure the title at all - thank you for doing the legwork!

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Have to be honest...my DH and I never had sex (or did anything) until after we were married...so I can't say anything about the frequency of paranoia changing, but I can say that since we HAVE STARTED to attempt intercourse, I've definitely been THINKING ABOUT pregnancy more. I haven't really had the 'baby on the brain' like another thread talked about, or really a SCARE, but I've definitely started REALIZING it could be a reality. It's very ... daunting!! LOL I mean, I've just moved into a 1700 sq ft house w/ DH from a 700 sq ft apt and suddenly, realizing when a baby came, the place would get TOO SMALL (only has 2 bedrooms), I started freaking a little. LOL! Anyway, I'm just rambling...BUT, I do want to say something else about bc and pregnancy, etc.

From another thread called "Anyone else using the FAM method.." I took the recommendation and got the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" out of the library and I'm just...in COMPLETE AWE of all of the information our bodies give us each month! I'm really shocked that more doctors/schools/etc. don't teach us these things. Or, at least let us know that these signs and the information to interpret them is out there!! Specifically I'm thinking about (morning) basal body temp and how it can tell you if you're pregnant (OR NOT), if you've ovulated yet (OR NOT), etc!! So, anyone who's having a 'scare' could totally relax if they're body temp goes up above the coverline (you'd have to read the book for a real explanation of that, but basically, after charting from the first day of your period, your temp stays fairly regular until AFTER you ovulate, at which point, your temp goes up at MINIMUM .2 degrees above the highest temp you'd had before that 'shift') and then shifts back down again. Why? It means they're not preg. IF, however, they have a higher temp than their coverline for more than 16 days, they're likely preg, and they'd know that just based on their own body's signs. To me, this is amazing!! Of course, this is just ONE step of the book and can be misinterpreted, etc., but I'm still in awe of all the things my body tells me, if I learn how to read it!

So, looong post short, if you want to feel empowered to know more about your body, get this book and follow it...seriously!! After learning all of this stuff, I have to wonder how I EVER thought just blindly using condoms (or other non-hormonal bc) would be enough!

ETA: And I love that this is a NON-HORMONAL form of BC*. (Well, just that you know when you're fertile and when you're not and if you decide to have sex when you are (and you'll know when you are), you would use BC and hope for the best...or just abstain. I also think this is SUPER great information for women who are TTC and are having problems. Not saying they (or their partner) might not have fertility problems, but it'd be easier (and faster) to figure out if it's infertility, or just 'bad timing.'

*My fave thing is people who, when I tell them about this, are like "no thank you! I want to be SAFE, not just read a book, etc," but, to me, I feel like I'm MORE empowered by watching/monitoring my body than just taking a pill and HOPING it works the way it's supposed to!!

ETA 2: Oh, and I wanted to just say one thing that kind of angered me from the book. Women are fertile only 3, maybe 4 days out of the month...all the rest of the time, there's no way to get preg because there's no egg to be fertilized. MEN are fertile EVERY SINGLE DAY of the month, EVERY YEAR, FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIVES!! So WHY is it that WE, who are only fertile for only 1/10th of the year (36 days out of 365 days), are the ones that have to deal with most of the methods of BC? No matter what form we choose, there are side effects, and some of them potentially fatal!! Yet, it's still deemed 'safe!' Seriously, can you imagine a MAN sticking something up inside HIM that could cause him to have severe cramping, headaches, nauseau, potential blood clots, or infertility? :-\ Okay, mini-rant over...LOL. I know life isn't fair, but it sure was an eye-opener!

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 8/13/2009 5:14:16 PM
Author: musincy

Date: 8/13/2009 4:32:41 PM
Author: newsboysgrl777

ETA 2: Oh, and I wanted to just say one thing that kind of angered me from the book. Women are fertile only 3, maybe 4 days out of the month...all the rest of the time, there''s no way to get preg because there''s no egg to be fertilized. MEN are fertile EVERY SINGLE DAY of the month, EVERY YEAR, FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIVES!! So WHY is it that WE, who are only fertile for only 1/10th of the year (36 days out of 365 days), are the ones that have to deal with most of the methods of BC? No matter what form we choose, there are side effects, and some of them potentially fatal!! Yet, it''s still deemed ''safe!'' Seriously, can you imagine a MAN sticking something up inside HIM that could cause him to have severe cramping, headaches, nauseau, potential blood clots, or infertility? :- Okay, mini-rant over...LOL. I know life isn''t fair, but it sure was an eye-opener!

Wait... really?? How have I gone this long without knowing this? I thought you could get pregnant anytime, it was just more likely during those few days.

Okay..technically, yes..you can get pregnant for a longer period of time because before you ovulate, you have what is called FERTILE cervical fluid, which enables sperm to live for longer...thus prolonging the chances of getting pregant. (Tracking your cervical fluid is another step in the Fertility Awareness Method, but I didn''t touch on that in my previous post) That said, if you don''t have fertile cervical fluid the day before you ovulate and you and your partner have sex, his sperm would die within HOURS (if not less) and never reach an egg. Also, your fertile cervical fluid usually does stop before you ovulate. So, when you get pregnant, it''s usually because the sperm have been in there since BEFORE the egg is released...

There is SO much more to it, but I gotta run... :-\ SERIOUSLY, get the book

 

[honey22]

Date: 8/13/2009 5:14:16 PM
Author: musincy

Date: 8/13/2009 4:32:41 PM

Author: newsboysgrl777


ETA 2: Oh, and I wanted to just say one thing that kind of angered me from the book. Women are fertile only 3, maybe 4 days out of the month...all the rest of the time, there''s no way to get preg because there''s no egg to be fertilized. MEN are fertile EVERY SINGLE DAY of the month, EVERY YEAR, FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIVES!! So WHY is it that WE, who are only fertile for only 1/10th of the year (36 days out of 365 days), are the ones that have to deal with most of the methods of BC? No matter what form we choose, there are side effects, and some of them potentially fatal!! Yet, it''s still deemed ''safe!'' Seriously, can you imagine a MAN sticking something up inside HIM that could cause him to have severe cramping, headaches, nauseau, potential blood clots, or infertility? :- Okay, mini-rant over...LOL. I know life isn''t fair, but it sure was an eye-opener!

Wait... really?? How have I gone this long without knowing this? I thought you could get pregnant anytime, it was just more likely during those few days.

Nup, there is actually only a small window of opportunity you have each cycle (not month). So, if you are like me, and have longer cycles (5-6 weeks) they are even less chances every calendar year to get preggo. Phew (for now!)

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 8/13/2009 10:23:15 PM
Author: honey22

Date: 8/13/2009 5:14:16 PM
Author: musincy

Wait... really?? How have I gone this long without knowing this? I thought you could get pregnant anytime, it was just more likely during those few days.

Nup, there is actually only a small window of opportunity you have each cycle (not month). So, if you are like me, and have longer cycles (5-6 weeks) they are even less chances every calendar year to get preggo. Phew (for now!)

honey's right...I should've said cycle instead of month because, like she has a longer cycle, some women have shorter cycles, so their frequency is higher. (meaning they ovulate more frequently, therefore, in any given period of time they have more "fertile days")

And, just as honey's cycle is ~5-6 weeks, the 'myth' about the average cycle being 28 days (and thus ovulation occurring on day 14) really IS only an average...as many (most??) women's differ from this. That's why it's ALSO neat to chart if you're TTC because you can actually find out your date of conception and then your potential due date much more easily than from the 'pregnancy wheel' (or whatever it's called? that predicts your conception date and due date)..because it predicts based on a 28 day cycle and a day 14 ovulation, using the first day of your last period as day 1 of that cycle...which usually isn't accurate.

It's just crazy how much info is out there that I NEVER knew about!! (Of course, I may be getting some of this a little confused or not explaining exactly right as I'm not even DONE WITH the book yet...so take anything I say and do your own research on it to reach your own conclusions

)

 

[Laila619]

It''s true, women are generally only fertile around 3-4 days before ovulation, and up to the morning after ovulation.

 

[DMBFiredancer]

::Raises hand::

Yep, I find myself MORE paranoid now. My problem is that I barely ever get my period, so the fear is always there. The doctor has not been able to find out why after a bunch of tests /ultrasounds, etc. It is actually kind of annoying. Honestly most women would rejoice not getting a period, but i''d rather get it and know for sure than always be left wondering. I am on the pill and have been since about ''92 and I take it every day. To help my paranoia, I do a pregnancy test every few months just to be sure.

Just last night I did another test. I went through all the usual thoughts - "wait, my stomach just FEELS bigger" or "I HAVE been feeling a bit sick in the mornings" etc

The crazy thing is that this time I read the box wrong. I thought one line was YES you are preggers. I saw one line and for 20 seconds I fast forwarded in my mind every possibility of what to do - it was like a crazy movie in my head. Luckily once I calmed down, I read the box again and saw that one line was NOT preggers. PHHHEEEEWWWWWWW.

Hubby and I do not plan on having ANY kids so any accidents would be a bigger issue for us than those who "someday" want kids.

once again....PHHHEEEWWWWW!!!!!!

 

[ficklefaye]

oh gosh, i''m glad i found this thread, i thought it was just me, i''m not married yet, but i had this dream the other day that i was expecting, i woke up and freaked out but realized it was just a dream and breathed a sigh of relief, FI and i are getting married in less than two months, so it wouldn''t be totally unwelcome, but it still scared me nonetheless

 

[cammy85]

newsboysgrl777 - that book sounds fascinating. I''m really into the science of things and am definitely curious how everything works - though I don''t think I''d EVER be comfortable enough relying solely on temperature/symptom charting to prevent pregnancy. We love kids and want some of our own someday but are SO not ready right now for them. We''re taking every measure possible. We even used spermicide until we realized that we had a pretty bad reaction to it. So now it''s just redundant BC - hormonal and barrier. And I agree that it''s a bugger that women are the ones that have to somewhat ''take control'' of their fertility to prevent pregnancy and all, but I guess I''m just used to it. I''m willing to take the measures because I know I will be the one carrying a baby and DELIVERING it. That''s enough to make me want to take control.

I knew that there is a small window of fertility for women, but also that sperm can live for something like a week in the right conditions (which of course are when women are the most fertile) so technically you can have sex a week before you ovulate and the sperm will in essence just ''hang out'' until the egg joins the party. That''s what blows my mind I think...

DMBFiredancer - I know how you feel. However my periods are typically right on the dot - thanks to the hormones at least haha. Well that''s not totally true, this is my 4th kind of BC, and it''s the only one that''s ever given me regular periods and I love it, becuase I''m FINALLY like clockwork. However, if I''m even 12 hours late (which happens due to stress and whatnot) I start getting that nagging - on man, my stomach looks bigger today, I don''t feel so good... - feeling. I''ve only ever been scared enough to take one test, and thankfully it was negative, but I think i would FREAK OUT if i read the box wrong. I''m glad you went back and reread the instructions! And at least it wasn''t the other way around! Have you thought of any permanent solutions since you said you never wany ANY kids, or are you just going to continue what you''re doing for now?

ficklefaye - I find myself having dreams like that (and I had them before the wedding as well!) and they STILL scare me a little. I''m glad you were able to quickly realize it was only a dream and not reality!

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 8/14/2009 9:28:41 AM
Author: cammy85
newsboysgrl777 -

I knew that there is a small window of fertility for women, but also that sperm can live for something like a week in the right conditions (which of course are when women are the most fertile) so technically you can have sex a week before you ovulate and the sperm will in essence just ''hang out'' until the egg joins the party. That''s what blows my mind I think...

Yes, but you can tell, yourself, whether or not those conditions have been met. If you aren''t having what the book calls "eggwhite" cervical fluid (it''s thicker and somewhat clear, like the white of an egg) when you have intercourse, the conditions AREN''T right and the sperm WON''T live a week. Even if you have sex and the next day you notice that ''eggwhite'' type of fluid. It would be too late for the sperm...as without it, they only have HOURS to live. And, the fertile cervical fluid, believe it or not, only lasts for a few days, and usually stops a day or even two BEFORE ovulation, so if you didn''t have a barrier method while you had that fertile fluid, yes, the sperm could still be there when you ovulated. That''s why I find it much more empowering to track your ''symptoms'' (for lack of a better word) because then you know EXACTLY when you''re ''at risk'' and when you''re not. What I''m going to probably do is just abstain from intercourse during the times I know I''m fertile, as opposed to relying on a condom, and then at other times, I know I won''t have to worry.

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 8/14/2009 1:33:11 AM
Author: DMBFiredancer
::Raises hand::

Yep, I find myself MORE paranoid now. My problem is that I barely ever get my period, so the fear is always there. The doctor has not been able to find out why after a bunch of tests /ultrasounds, etc. It is actually kind of annoying. Honestly most women would rejoice not getting a period, but i''d rather get it and know for sure than always be left wondering. I am on the pill and have been since about ''92 and I take it every day. To help my paranoia, I do a pregnancy test every few months just to be sure.

Just last night I did another test. I went through all the usual thoughts - ''wait, my stomach just FEELS bigger'' or ''I HAVE been feeling a bit sick in the mornings'' etc

The crazy thing is that this time I read the box wrong. I thought one line was YES you are preggers. I saw one line and for 20 seconds I fast forwarded in my mind every possibility of what to do - it was like a crazy movie in my head. Luckily once I calmed down, I read the box again and saw that one line was NOT preggers. PHHHEEEEWWWWWWW.

Hubby and I do not plan on having ANY kids so any accidents would be a bigger issue for us than those who ''someday'' want kids.

once again....PHHHEEEWWWWW!!!!!!

Again, I just want to recommend the book I''ve been talking about, because it goes into so much detail about why some women don''t ovulate and/or don''t have periods. I know you said your doctor did tests, but one reason you don''t ovulate could be that the threshold of estrogen your body needs to release the egg doesn''t get reached, so an egg doesn''t get released. Some women, this happens, and they still have menstrual bleeding, but it''s just the shedding of the lining in the uterus, not an actual period (meaning, the release of an egg). Along with this, some women who don''t ovulate for one reason or another DON''T bleed until the uterine lining builds up so much that it can''t sustain itself, and it finally sheds...so, this could account for why your bleeding only happens every so often. ??

The BEST way for you to know whether or not you''re preg is to track your basal body temp first thing in the morning. It might take you a little while (if ovulation isn''t always occuring, it may take a few cycles) to figure out what your ''normal'' temp is vs. the higher temp (which is about 2/10ths of a degree higher, nothing like ''fever'' high) that happens after ovulation, but once you know what that higher temp is, you could just track your temperature to know whether you''ve ovulated or not and, if so, whether your temp extends beyond the range of possible pregnancy. (As I mentioned above, this is 16 days or more of higher body temps...if this occurs, you could be preg, and a test would be a wise thing to do, but if your temp goes up (which is normal after ovulation), then goes back down, you are NOT preg).

However, if you truly aren''t ovulating AT ALL, your morning body temp won''t ever go up due to ovulation (sickness or anything else, of course, could make it go up), even if you''re bleeding, so tracking your temp for purposes of pregnancy may not help if you''ve never seen that rise in temperature. However, if you do see, even one time, you''ll have a point of reference for what your higher temps are, and if you never go that high (and then you bleed), you''ll know you didn''t ovulate and so therefore, you weren''t even able to get preg.

Whew! I hope that wasn''t too confusing!! Like I said, the book has soooo much information that it''s hard to digest it all, and then even harder to explain it without also explaining all the other stuff! It''s crazy how complex, yet so perfectly orchestrated, our bodies are!

 

[cammy85]

Kudos to you for being so knowledgeable. I definitely think the book is worth checking out, and I would love to know what''s going on with my body. I''m just not sure i could ever be confident enough to trust it 100% so I''m not sure I could ever be convinced to abandon my other forms of BC. A system is only as good as the person using it, and the reason I could never stick with the pill is that I was never consistent with it. I''d leave it in my purse so it''d be with me all the time, and then I''d take a different purse and forget to switch it. I have a feeling my charting methods would be similar. Usually pretty routine, but then spotty in a few places. And this type of method requires a consistent routine. I may try it as an experiement though, and a learning experience. Thank you for recommending it!

 

[DMBFiredancer]

Date: 8/14/2009 9:28:41 AM
Author: cammy85


DMBFiredancer - I know how you feel. However my periods are typically right on the dot - thanks to the hormones at least haha. Well that''s not totally true, this is my 4th kind of BC, and it''s the only one that''s ever given me regular periods and I love it, becuase I''m FINALLY like clockwork. However, if I''m even 12 hours late (which happens due to stress and whatnot) I start getting that nagging - on man, my stomach looks bigger today, I don''t feel so good... - feeling. I''ve only ever been scared enough to take one test, and thankfully it was negative, but I think i would FREAK OUT if i read the box wrong. I''m glad you went back and reread the instructions! And at least it wasn''t the other way around! Have you thought of any permanent solutions since you said you never wany ANY kids, or are you just going to continue what you''re doing for now?

By permanent solution, do you mean tying my tubes? Yes, I thought of it, but after reading about it, I dont want to deal with some of the side effects. I''d rather keep plugging away taking my pills and doing what I am doing. Plus, knowing me...I''d tie them up then suddenly get the urge to have kids. But, I am 39 now and have never ever felt the urge. I always say that my biological clock came without batteries!

 

[DMBFiredancer]

Date: 8/14/2009 9:48:49 AM
Author: newsboysgrl777

Date: 8/14/2009 1:33:11 AM

Author: DMBFiredancer

::Raises hand::


Yep, I find myself MORE paranoid now. My problem is that I barely ever get my period, so the fear is always there. The doctor has not been able to find out why after a bunch of tests /ultrasounds, etc. It is actually kind of annoying. Honestly most women would rejoice not getting a period, but i''d rather get it and know for sure than always be left wondering. I am on the pill and have been since about ''92 and I take it every day. To help my paranoia, I do a pregnancy test every few months just to be sure.


Just last night I did another test. I went through all the usual thoughts - ''wait, my stomach just FEELS bigger'' or ''I HAVE been feeling a bit sick in the mornings'' etc


The crazy thing is that this time I read the box wrong. I thought one line was YES you are preggers. I saw one line and for 20 seconds I fast forwarded in my mind every possibility of what to do - it was like a crazy movie in my head. Luckily once I calmed down, I read the box again and saw that one line was NOT preggers. PHHHEEEEWWWWWWW.


Hubby and I do not plan on having ANY kids so any accidents would be a bigger issue for us than those who ''someday'' want kids.


once again....PHHHEEEWWWWW!!!!!!

Again, I just want to recommend the book I''ve been talking about, because it goes into so much detail about why some women don''t ovulate and/or don''t have periods. I know you said your doctor did tests, but one reason you don''t ovulate could be that the threshold of estrogen your body needs to release the egg doesn''t get reached, so an egg doesn''t get released. Some women, this happens, and they still have menstrual bleeding, but it''s just the shedding of the lining in the uterus, not an actual period (meaning, the release of an egg). Along with this, some women who don''t ovulate for one reason or another DON''T bleed until the uterine lining builds up so much that it can''t sustain itself, and it finally sheds...so, this could account for why your bleeding only happens every so often. ??


The BEST way for you to know whether or not you''re preg is to track your basal body temp first thing in the morning. It might take you a little while (if ovulation isn''t always occuring, it may take a few cycles) to figure out what your ''normal'' temp is vs. the higher temp (which is about 2/10ths of a degree higher, nothing like ''fever'' high) that happens after ovulation, but once you know what that higher temp is, you could just track your temperature to know whether you''ve ovulated or not and, if so, whether your temp extends beyond the range of possible pregnancy. (As I mentioned above, this is 16 days or more of higher body temps...if this occurs, you could be preg, and a test would be a wise thing to do, but if your temp goes up (which is normal after ovulation), then goes back down, you are NOT preg).


However, if you truly aren''t ovulating AT ALL, your morning body temp won''t ever go up due to ovulation (sickness or anything else, of course, could make it go up), even if you''re bleeding, so tracking your temp for purposes of pregnancy may not help if you''ve never seen that rise in temperature. However, if you do see, even one time, you''ll have a point of reference for what your higher temps are, and if you never go that high (and then you bleed), you''ll know you didn''t ovulate and so therefore, you weren''t even able to get preg.


Whew! I hope that wasn''t too confusing!! Like I said, the book has soooo much information that it''s hard to digest it all, and then even harder to explain it without also explaining all the other stuff! It''s crazy how complex, yet so perfectly orchestrated, our bodies are!

Wow....thanks so much for the info! I am going to double check to make sure my doc looked into these things

 

[diamondringlover]

Date: 8/14/2009 9:59:20 AM
Author: musincy
So, if you are on the 28-day cycle, which ''days'' are you fertile? And is day one the first day of your period?

They really should teach this in school. I''m going to check out that book.

If you are on a regular 28 day cycle I beleive it is 10-14 days into you cycle....

 

[MonkeyPie]

I used to be super paranoid about it - and then I got pregnant so it was moot lol.

But we were a little careless on one occasion because we were tired. If you take care of yourself, there''s no reason to worry!

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 8/14/2009 9:59:20 AM
Author: musincy
So, if you are on the 28-day cycle, which 'days' are you fertile? And is day one the first day of your period?

They really should teach this in school. I'm going to check out that book.

Your best bet would be to chart at least one full cycle because there are 2 'phases' of each cycle and each phase's length is different for each woman. The first one (called the follicular or estrogenic phase) starts on the first day of your period. This is when you menstruate and the time before you ovulate. Next there is what is called the luteal (or progestational) phase. The menstruation and time before ovulation can vary in length considerably (stress can delay ovulation, sickness, etc.), and the luteal phase is pretty consistent...it will only vary up to 2 days in length. So, if you charted one cycle and counted your luteal phase (this is from the day when your temp goes up until the day you get your period), and you have pretty regular cycles (28 days, as you said), you would just count backwards from the day before your period (because that marks the last day of your cycle, as Day 1 is the day you get your period) by how many days your luteal cycle is, and that's when you know your approx. ovulation date.

So, for example, let's say your luteal phase is 12 days (it is usually 12-16 days, but can be as low as 10 (if lower than 10, this can cause problems if TTC)) and you have a 28 day cycle (meaning your period started on 'day 29' if you were to continue counting). Then 28 - 12 = 16...meaning you probably ovulated on (or around) day 16 of your cycle. Therefore, anything after day 17 (or day 18, to be 'safe') would be safe for you to have intercourse because you've already ovulated and the egg is now gone (the egg really only has a life span of 12 hours, but sometimes your body can release a second egg, so they say to wait 24 hours for that one to go away also, to be on the safe side). BUT, if you depended on the standard 'day 14 ovulation' and had sex on days 15 or 16...you could totally get preg bc those are YOUR body's personal FERTILE days.

But, let's look at another example, just for educational purposes (lol). Say a woman has an extremely delayed ovulation due to stress or whatever...and she doesn't ovulate until day 30!! And then her luteal phase is, again, 12 days...this means her cycle would be 42 days long!! This is EXTREMELY different from the 'standard 28 day cycle' avg that most doctors/gynos use. So, just because you've reached day 29. 30, 31, or beyond, doesn't mean you're preg...and, contrariwise (sorry, just wanted to use that word..LOL), if she's TTC, she shouldn't just have sex around days 10-16...because her ovulation didn't even occur for nearly another 3 weeks!! So, by charting, she'd be able to read her 'signs' and know when the optimal time is*.

See how AWESOME our bodies are?!!

*To chart for purposes of TTC, you can't just count on your temp because once the temp goes up, it's too late to get preg. You'd need to also monitor your cervical fluid..however, it can be beneficial to know your approx. ovulation date based on past charting

 

[mtjoya]

Well.....I was a bride-to-be when I found out that I was pregnant. We wanted to get married sometime next year but got this weird paranoid feeling one morning. I decided to test the upcoming weekend 2 days after my missed period and BAM! Pregnant! I was shocked, scared, nervous and embarrased to tell my family. I couldn''t wait any longer and told my mom the same day that I found out. She was shocked and then got happy but overall it was an experience.

This past thursday we got married in Vegas. I orginally did not want a huge wedding, but something intimate. I am very happy that I am expecting and my family is even more excited!

 

[setell]

Call me weird but I always have a non-expired pregnancy test in my apartment at all times in case I get too paranoid. I’m forgetful at times with my pill so we always have a backup type of thing. My current test has been sitting in my drawer for almost a year now. I guess my worry is my career isn’t where I can take a year off of maternity leave yet but financially we’re ok if we ever did oops. Honestly I think my future in laws and my parents would love it if we “oops” as they are dying to have grandchildren. That is the scary part!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry if this sounds rude or offensive but how come some of the ladies here don’t seem to ah know the basics of how our body operate? I learned about our menstruation cycle in grade 11 biology!!!!! I also learned about cell fertilization/mutation in grade 11 too!!!! Then in first year university biology they covered it again but more indepth but the high school course was enough for basic understanding of the human body functions. Is it our school system that different then say the US (I’m Canadian)? I’ve learned how to time my cycle while on the pill as the backup/secondary method of birth control. I’m not a huge fan of the taking the basal temperature as if you don’t take it at the exact time every day you might have inconsistent data with slightly skewed results. Monitoring your discharge is also a good way to see if you’re ovulating or not too but of course not as good as taking a super consistent basal temperature. Before I was on the pill I just knew I was ovulating as my breasts would get soo tender that I had to massage it every single month for a few days (I also had a milkier discharge too)! So you can have other symptoms that’ll tell you when you’re ovulating besides monitoring your discharge. Now that I’m on the pill I love it as I don’t get extreme breast tenderness anymore.

 

[kittybean]

Date: 9/9/2009 12:43:44 PM
Author: setell

Sorry if this sounds rude or offensive but how come some of the ladies here don’t seem to ah know the basics of how our body operate? I learned about our menstruation cycle in grade 11 biology!!!!! I also learned about cell fertilization/mutation in grade 11 too!!!! Then in first year university biology they covered it again but more indepth but the high school course was enough for basic understanding of the human body functions. Is it our school system that different then say the US (I’m Canadian)? I’ve learned how to time my cycle while on the pill as the backup/secondary method of birth control. I’m not a huge fan of the taking the basal temperature as if you don’t take it at the exact time every day you might have inconsistent data with slightly skewed results. Monitoring your discharge is also a good way to see if you’re ovulating or not too but of course not as good as taking a super consistent basal temperature. Before I was on the pill I just knew I was ovulating as my breasts would get soo tender that I had to massage it every single month for a few days (I also had a milkier discharge too)! So you can have other symptoms that’ll tell you when you’re ovulating besides monitoring your discharge. Now that I’m on the pill I love it as I don’t get extreme breast tenderness anymore.

Fertility awareness-type birth control (i.e. timing your cycle) cannot be effectively used when you're on birth control pills. The hormones in birth control pills inhibit your normal cycle, ceasing ovulation. The "periods" you experience are essentially just withdrawal bleeding--when you aren't taking the regular dose of hormones, you bleed. Your cervical mucus is also affected by the Pill, so monitoring discharge would be unreliable even if you were ovulating. If you really don't want to get pregnant, you should find a different secondary form of birth control.

ETA: Here's a link to a simple breakdown of how birth control pills change your cycle.

 

[Pandora II]

Please be very careful about using FAM to avoid pregnancy.

I used it to get pregnant and even with a clockwork 27/28 day cycle it was not as simple as the book makes it sound - check out the TTC thread to see some of the difficulties.

- Knowing what type of cervical fluid is what is not always so simple and you can easily mistake one for another.

- Basal body temping will confirm that you have ovulated (3 days consecutive temp rises above the coverline) but not when you are GOING to ovulate and many of us stopped temping after ovulation as the temps can go all over the place - the month I got pg I was sure I was out as I had two temp drops in a row the day before my BFP. Your body can also gear up to ovulate and then stop and do the same thing a week or so later. You also need to be charting all of this on somewhere like Fertility Friend or Ovusoft.

You also have to take your temperature at the same time everyday and after at least 3 hours consecutive sleep - so if you have to travel, or you get sick, or you need to run to the loo, or a myriad of other factors then your temps could be well and truly out for that month.

- Because your body can 'think' about ovulating and then stop and start again, you can get several episodes of EWCM during a cycle so you can't always rely on that as a sign.

- There are stages of fertile CF, not just the EWCF which isn't always present in large quantities. With the possibility of sperm living for up to a week you need to be very cautious.

It's a fantastic tool for getting KTFU, and a useful one for avoiding. Personally I would only use it as a primary method of contraception if I had a textbook cycle, I was only going to have intercourse without protection AFTER ovulation was confirmed and until AF - which only gives you around 12 days out of 28, had been charting for at least 6 months whilst not on any form of hormonal BC and an ooops wouldn't be that bad.

Once DH and I kick the baby out of our bed and I stop breast-feeding and we aren't too tired to think that sex is some kind of exhausting obstacle course before sleeping

then we will use FAM (BBT, CF analysis and Cervix Position combo) combined with barrier methods as I can't use hormonal BC.

Just for info... this is my chart from the month I got pregnant with Daisy:

As you can see I had EWCM the day of ovulation and my cervix position was still indicating fertile the day after O. Plus two sets of temperature drops after O.

The book makes it seem a lot easier than it is in reality!

 

[TooPatient]

Things are too subtle to be sure. There are too many variables to use FAM as your only method of BC. And if you look at the statistics, you''ll see that it is not very effective.

 

[jstarfireb]

Date: 9/9/2009 6:29:33 PM
Author: TooPatient
Things are too subtle to be sure. There are too many variables to use FAM as your only method of BC. And if you look at the statistics, you''ll see that it is not very effective.

Agreed - FAM is useful for those who don''t mind still having a significant chance of getting pregnant and are meticulous about sticking to it. But for the general population, its failure rate with typical use 25%! That''s a 1 in 4 chance of getting pregnant over the course of a year!!! Not a chance I''m willing to take. It''s fine for the "if it happens, it happens" crowd, but not for me.

There are other effective hormonal and nonhormonal methods of birth control besides the pill/patch/ring/etc. For example, a relatively new implant that goes under the skin called Implanon releases a progestin hormone and works for up to 3 years; it''s basically like being on Depo for 3 years, but with only one shot, and it''s currently the most effective form of birth control out there.

I personally have a Mirena IUD, which releases a progestin hormone locally into the uterus, but it doesn''t have whole-body effects (so you still ovulate, but the uterine lining can''t support a pregnancy). Until Implanon came along, it was the single most effective form of birth control behind abstinence, even more than having your tubes tied. It works for up to 5 years, and it has made my periods little more than a spot or two each month. Another IUD called Paragard is made of copper and has no hormones, but works almost as effectively as Mirena. Copper creates a reaction that kills sperm in the uterus.

IUDs are incredibly effective, much safer than they used to be, and in my opinion, underutilized. For women who want long-term reversible birth control without systemic hormones, they work like a dream.

Sorry for the long post, but birth control is one of my big soapbox topics!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I think learning FAM is a great way to educate yourself about your body and how the reproductive cycle works, and is definitely interesting! But I am way way too paranoid to use it as my only birth control method (not to mention the hubby and I don''t particularly like the idea of No-sex days, and we both have very..um..healthy appetites and busy schedules). FAM is great for some people and their personal situations, but if a patient came to me with excessive pregnancy paranoia and their top priority was not getting pregnant, I''d have to be honest and recommend Implanon or IUD.

I used to be much more paranoid, but I guess after over 4 years of being "Active" with the hubby, and no pregnancy, I''m feeling less paranoid (though I''m still vigilant about the BC!)

 

[setell]

Fertility awareness-type birth control (i.e. timing your cycle) cannot be effectively used when you're on birth control pills. The hormones in birth control pills inhibit your normal cycle, ceasing ovulation. The "periods" you experience are essentially just withdrawal bleeding--when you aren't taking the regular dose of hormones, you bleed. Your cervical mucus is also affected by the Pill, so monitoring discharge would be unreliable even if you were ovulating. If you really don't want to get pregnant, you should find a different secondary form of birth control.

Sorry I guess I wasn't clear in my first post. When I say I time my cycle as a backup method what I meant was that if I forget to take pill at day 10 or was late taking the pill we use a condom or withdrawal too. On the flip side if I forget day 25 I can care less as by then the cycle is almost over and the % of me getting pregnant is pretty slim. I know if you're on the pill your whole cycle changes as your body constantly thinks you're pregnant so discharge/basal temperature monitoring as a form of birth control will not work.