Pre-engagement goals

[Magpie09]

I'm going to adopt a thread from a few years ago...

So ladies is there anything you want to achieve or do before you get engaged? They can be personal or combined goals.

 

[Magpie09]

Mine are:
-Lose some weight/ increase my fitness levels
-have a secure job- which i'm very close to having in the next few months, fingers crossed
-be the best gf I can be
-don't put pressure on SO or have major LIWitis meltdowns- it should be an enjoyable time for both of us
-start consistently maintaining my nails so they are ready for my PS hand shot!
-don't constantly try to guess if it's the day everytime we do something out of the ordinary
-remain zen

 

[MayFlowers]

I have a few and right now they are the only things keeping us from getting engaged:

- Lose weight (that's not really stopping us, I just want to lose some weight)
- Find a full time job
- Buy a house together

I would like to pay off my car before we get engaged, but there are a lot of factors that affect that. If we don't find a house that we love right after I find a job, then I can pay off my car no problem. But, if we do find a house right away, then that money will be used for a down payment on the house and for things like furniture and a safety net.

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

I don't really have anything for pre engagement-id prefer to be finished school (starting back in sept for my RN and it will take 2 years) because I don't want the distraction. But I DO have post engagement, pre wedding goals!

Here they are:
Finish school and be settled in career
Pay off my student loans ASAP (throw all extra into them until gone - I will have less than 10k)
Enroll for the 6 classes I need to get my bachelors in nursing
Have a nice house fund as well as wedding fund
Take a few trips and enjoy being engaged
Loose some weight

I would really like to move into a house after we are married so I think we would have a longer engagement in order to pay down/off bills and have a decent amount of money saved. We can't have dogs in our current apartment and I am already going crazy not having my dog here!!! I got her for my 21 bday. I'm 28, my parents love her so they have custody now, but I go see her all the time. So I want a house!! Lol and we are both picky and want to build bc we don't want something previously lived in. Soooo it's gonna be awhile!

 

[audball]

Not really. I have life goals, but nothing that HAS to be done before getting engaged.

I want to (in the order I anticipate them happening):

Pay off all credit card debt (almost done with this now)
Get engaged (ring will be here Monday! Anticipate engagement by the end of the year)
Get married (probably Summer of 2013 or 2014)
Finish school (Andrew in December 2012, me potentially in May 2016)
Get us both into new (to us) reliable vehicles (we hope to make it until after school, but if they die, well...)
Save save save
Build a $50,000 emergency fund
Work on a 20% downpayment for a home
Pay off all of our combined student loan debt

I'd love to pay off our student loan debt sooner, but I know it's not bad debt and I don't want to put off saving for emergencies and a home just to pay them off when I'm sure we can make reasonable monthly payments.

Most of these will NOT happen before we're engaged, let alone married. But I'd really love to see us check most of these boxes before we start a family. That gives us 7-10 years.

 

[Phdecorate]

Well, I am really hoping my nail will grow out before then (if you hadn't read that thread, I closed my finger in the car door and the nail is lifted off almost completely so it is still there with a bandaid on it every day), but I am not anticipating being so lucky! It has definitely made progress, but there is a LOOOOONNG way to go and as we will be married no later than this October, I may be lucky to have a new nail by then....

I'd like to lose about 7-10 lbs by the wedding. Realistically, I am in really good shape, I work out every day and have for years, but it is a little harder in your late 30s! You are what you eat! Carbs are the enemy. I have lost 4 lbs in the last 3 weeks just by tightening up on what I eat, just a little junk!

I am in a bit of a different position in that SO and I have already "established" a lot together. We already own a very nice home together and are thinking ahead towards retirement. Not that we will be getting to do that any time soon, but we are able to focus on some long term stuff as well as some short term stuff. SO felt it was important for us to create a foundation before we could think about spending money on things like a ring and getting married. Since we had both been married and then regrouped from divorces, etc, this made sense to me too. Plus, he bought me a David Yurman diamond ring that I had really wanted a few years back and I have been wearing it on my ring finger all this time. It will become my RHR. Most people assume it is a wedding or engagement band anyway. I can't wait to show off some REAL bling!!!

 

[audball]

Any progress on the ring phd? I know you're planning an October wedding, so it must be soonish, right!?

 

[CaprineSun]

Not necessarily lose weight, but change my eating habits for the better

Get the health of my nails back!!

Maintain the health of my hair or grow longer. No more big cuts or setbacks.

Saving for a wedding

Get my skin even toned and clear!

 

[madelise]

How did I miss this thread?

I'm on the same page as Audball. No "pre-engagement goals", more like life-goals I know SO wants me to be done with my BA before the engagement.. but that's more his end than mine. I want to be engaged now now now! lol!!!

- get back into to my pre-relationship jeans. okay, so this isn't really a life goal, more like a before-the-wedding goal.
- pay off my student loans. I foresee myself spending close to 100k for grad school if I go to a private university, so I'd like to pay them all off before having kids.
- buy a house before having kids. I don't have a goal of paying the whole house off before getting preggers, but I'd like to know we don't have to put up with a landlord.. Since rent is CRAZY in my neck of the woods, it makes more sense to save up and just put the downpayment on a house, rather than rent. 2 years' worth of rent IS the downpayment, here!
- get a steady, stable job with a good benefits package that covers maternity.. prior to getting preggers.
- buy my grandma something nice maybe to give her at the wedding?
- and if I do that^, I'll also buy something nice to give to FMIL at the wedding.

 

[Magpie09]

Not really. I have life goals, but nothing that HAS to be done before getting engaged.

Haha mine are pretty flexible. Although yelling 'stop' in the middle of SO's proposal and saying 'you can't propose until I fit back into my skinny jeans' would be amusing- in a dark twisted sort of way. Not that I would ever do that.

 

[Chewbacca]

I too would like to do a little weight loss. It's not a pre-engagement goal for me at this point, though I'm SURE that if I had wedding photos to appear in it would be all the motivation I would need to drop a wee bit!

My entire pre-engagement goal is to not talk about marriage related topics to my boyfriend ALL OF THE TIME (has happened once or twice!). Or even think about it too much. Less I do these things, better I feel!

 

[audball]

Not really. I have life goals, but nothing that HAS to be done before getting engaged.

Haha mine are pretty flexible. Although yelling 'stop' in the middle of SO's proposal and saying 'you can't propose until I fit back into my skinny jeans' would be amusing- in a dark twisted sort of way. Not that I would ever do that.

Reminds me of when madelise joked about "no honey, I've got to put my nails on first!!". LOL.

 

[star sparkle]

Haha, I feel like such a loser for not having any pre-engagement goals. SO and I both already have careers, neither of us are in any major debt (other than student loans, but like a PP said, that's not necessarily BAD debt so doesn't stress me out), we don't plan on buying a house for another 4-5 years (we'll in all liklihood be moving out of state in that time frame, so we see no reason to worry about buying a house now and then trying to sell it when we leave), I just lost a ton of weight over the past year so I don't stress over my weight anymore, and I guess that's it?

Right now my main goal is to save a ton of money between now and January because we're looking at a pricey honeymoon, but that will be happening both pre- and post-engagement!

 

[madelise]

Not really. I have life goals, but nothing that HAS to be done before getting engaged.

Haha mine are pretty flexible. Although yelling 'stop' in the middle of SO's proposal and saying 'you can't propose until I fit back into my skinny jeans' would be amusing- in a dark twisted sort of way. Not that I would ever do that.

Reminds me of when madelise joked about "no honey, I've got to put my nails on first!!". LOL.

I was joking?

let me show you:










































(JK. I pulled those out to put in my purse for the pic.. although.. I think it might be a good idea for when I do feel it's coming soon! I hate wasting $ on manicures, and I've been too busy (cough*, lazy) to do my own claws. Plus... I already have em? HE HE HE.. We'll see. You ladies can totally clown on me when the time comes.)

 

[audball]

OMG madelise! I'm dying over here!!

 

[pandabee]

Haha, I feel like such a loser for not having any pre-engagement goals. SO and I both already have careers, neither of us are in any major debt (other than student loans, but like a PP said, that's not necessarily BAD debt so doesn't stress me out), we don't plan on buying a house for another 4-5 years (we'll in all liklihood be moving out of state in that time frame, so we see no reason to worry about buying a house now and then trying to sell it when we leave), I just lost a ton of weight over the past year so I don't stress over my weight anymore, and I guess that's it?

Right now my main goal is to save a ton of money between now and January because we're looking at a pricey honeymoon, but that will be happening both pre- and post-engagement!

what's wrong with that?? it's great that you don't have any pre-engagement goals...I think that just means that all you have to left to do is make it "official!" saving money for a honeymoon is smart. props to you for thinking ahead!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

- get back into to my pre-relationship jeans. okay, so this isn't really a life goal, more like a before-the-wedding goal.

what are thoseee?? Oh my goodness, i have so many pairs of lucky brand jeans (my fave) sitting around that i can't... quite... button anymore. ARGH!!!!

Great perspective, tomorrow start rollerblading on the bike path. like A LOT. I need to have a little less feast a little more famine

I know he likes me curvy, but damn i don't like me this curvy!

 

[madelise]

OMG madelise! I'm dying over here!!

I can't help it.. I clown too much lol.

 

[madelise]

Haha, I feel like such a loser for not having any pre-engagement goals. SO and I both already have careers, neither of us are in any major debt (other than student loans, but like a PP said, that's not necessarily BAD debt so doesn't stress me out), we don't plan on buying a house for another 4-5 years (we'll in all liklihood be moving out of state in that time frame, so we see no reason to worry about buying a house now and then trying to sell it when we leave), I just lost a ton of weight over the past year so I don't stress over my weight anymore, and I guess that's it?

Right now my main goal is to save a ton of money between now and January because we're looking at a pricey honeymoon, but that will be happening both pre- and post-engagement!

what's wrong with that?? it's great that you don't have any pre-engagement goals...I think that just means that all you have to left to do is make it "official!" saving money for a honeymoon is smart. props to you for thinking ahead!

Ditto! Why would you feel like a loser for that?! You guys are already on great footing, that's what we're all saying we want!

And spill the beans! Where are you looking to go for your pricey honeymoon!!

 

[madelise]

- get back into to my pre-relationship jeans. okay, so this isn't really a life goal, more like a before-the-wedding goal.

what are thoseee?? Oh my goodness, i have so many pairs of lucky brand jeans (my fave) sitting around that i can't... quite... button anymore. ARGH!!!!

Great perspective, tomorrow start rollerblading on the bike path. like A LOT. I need to have a little less feast a little more famine

I know he likes me curvy, but damn i don't like me this curvy!

HAHAHA. I'm not even curvy anymore. I affectionately call myself a potato. I lack a couch that I love, so it's just potato. Shape of one.. I don't do much like one.. and sometimes, I grow little spurts of "eyes" on random parts of my body. HAHA ew. Okay taken too far cus I pictured a Mr. Potato Head with way too many eyes.

MMm. Potatoes. That just got me hungry. I'm horrible at this dieting thing. I start a diet every morning. Then I ruin that diet by breakfast. HAHA. JKKKK. I don't even diet anymore. I just watch what I eat on weekdays, and ruin it all on the weekends.

I don't even care about the health or the sexy factor. I just am way too cheap to buy new "good jeans". and I want to get back into my old size b/c there are a lot more wedding dresses to choose from in smaller sizes! I think all those sample sales only have up to size 6, which is what, a size 4 for street wear? If I can lose weight to save $, I'll do it. I'm a cheapskate like that, heh heh hheh.

 

[audball]

Ditto the others star sparkle! I ENVY that you're so put together and settled already. Don't feel like a loser!

 

[princesss]

Haha, I feel like such a loser for not having any pre-engagement goals. SO and I both already have careers, neither of us are in any major debt (other than student loans, but like a PP said, that's not necessarily BAD debt so doesn't stress me out), we don't plan on buying a house for another 4-5 years (we'll in all liklihood be moving out of state in that time frame, so we see no reason to worry about buying a house now and then trying to sell it when we leave), I just lost a ton of weight over the past year so I don't stress over my weight anymore, and I guess that's it?

Right now my main goal is to save a ton of money between now and January because we're looking at a pricey honeymoon, but that will be happening both pre- and post-engagement!

Eh, I don't have any pre-engagement goals, either. I want to move abroad (permanently, this temporary job doesn't count!), but given that BF isn't American, odds are good that I'll be living abroad permanently in the next few years, so I'm a little less stressed about that. Not a whole lot less stressed, but at least there's a back up plan that doesn't involve giving up my career to go teach English some place just to get myself out of the country.

 

[pandabee]

oops I don't think I actually posted my goals, just commented on some other posts!

I would like to:
1) have most of my student loans paid off
2) be established in my job/career (I guess this would be necessary for #1 hehe)

hmm...that's really it I guess! I think everything else can come after, because I would view engagement as the next step to moving in and having a family and everything (for MY timeline at least). we both have only one more year of school left so at least we're on the same page with that...it's just a matter of where we are going to end up finding jobs that is going to be the most difficult.

 

[Schafenm]

Ok here are mine:

1) have him ask me towards the end of my program, I will graduate with my 2nd bachelors in nursing next December ( although he is not good with hiding presents for me so I think it will happen earlier in the year) I hope no one expects any planning until school is done!!!
2) adopt a healthier eating habit/working out lifestyle
3) try to use the least amount of my student loans as possible, that way it is easier to pay back
4) find a place we can move in together ( we both have traditional southern parents, so no moving in together until we are at LEAST engaged. Although I think they would prefer marriage, but I'm not waiting that long)

Pre-wedding goals:

1) find a job and work for two years so I can apply for grad school
2) live off his salary only so we can save mine for a wedding fund, a house down payment, and a little nest egg
3) just enjoy being engaged and happy!!!!!!!

 

[star sparkle]

what's wrong with that?? it's great that you don't have any pre-engagement goals...I think that just means that all you have to left to do is make it "official!" saving money for a honeymoon is smart. props to you for thinking ahead!

Haha, thanks pandabee! I guess I just feel like others have aspirations and I'm currently not aspiring for anything other than engagement/marriage? I realize there's nothing wrong with that, I've just been a person who always works towards the next goal, and the fact that my next goals are engagement and marriage makes me feel like one of those girls whose only goal in life is to find a man and settle down and pop out babies (not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not "me). KWIM?

 

[star sparkle]

Ditto! Why would you feel like a loser for that?! You guys are already on great footing, that's what we're all saying we want!

And spill the beans! Where are you looking to go for your pricey honeymoon!!

Well when you put it that way, I see what you mean.

We're going to Fiji! We've been talking about it for the last couple of weeks and we're so excited, but it's freaking expensive. Well, the actual resort fees and such aren't all that bad, but the actual GETTING there is what costs so much. Ugh!

 

[star sparkle]

Ditto the others star sparkle! I ENVY that you're so put together and settled already. Don't feel like a loser!

Thanks aud.

 

[audball]

Anytime ss!

 

[peonia]

i like this thread! everyone's goals are inspiring and encouraging

as for me.... i don't have very long before engagement (hopefully!!), and as i mentioned elsewhere i'm using this time to get in tip top bikini shape for beginning of july. i've actually been doing pretty well with that! i've lost 9 pounds so far gone from 114 to 105. i know that sounds very light, but i'm actually a tiny person (standing at 4'11"!!). it's the lightest i've been in a few years, i want to lose a few more and also tone up (though i have a serious aversion to exercise... argh).

other goals include school related things & generally making the most of this time!

 

[Magpie09]

Mine are:
-Lose some weight/ increase my fitness levels
-have a secure job- which i'm very close to having in the next few months, fingers crossed
-be the best gf I can be
-don't put pressure on SO or have major LIWitis meltdowns- it should be an enjoyable time for both of us
-start consistently maintaining my nails so they are ready for my PS hand shot!
-don't constantly try to guess if it's the day everytime we do something out of the ordinary
-remain zen

Haha oh the irony!!

My nails were not done. They actually had old, very chipped nail polish on them!

I've managed to gain weight.

I did remain zen about everything and OBLIVIOUS to all hints leading up to the proposal so at least I achieved some of my goals although not how i'd imagined!